A/N: SURPRISE! I'M BACK. So the new promo totally made me want to write this story again. I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to keep going all the way up to the freaking premier. Because I realized something, season 5 takes place during the summer and since 4 ends in the winter, that means we have SPRING to get through. So I'm taking us right up to the premier of season 5 out of canon. I do apologize. I hate non canon stuff, but here it goes.

Part Sixty-Five: Chasing Cars

It's the middle of the night when I roll over and Mickey isn't in bed. I sit up. Mickey's not even in the room. I throw off the covers and try to stand. My legs are little weak, but I manage to stand up. I slip on some clean underwear. Mickey has done my laundry or maybe Mandy did it. I don't know.

I start to walk, slowly, and weakly and go to the kitchen. There is movement on the couch, Mickey? I tip toe over and peek over the back of the couch. Mickey is snoring slightly and holding his blanket up to this chin. I kiss the top of his head and slid down the couch to spoon him. The action wakes him up.

"Ryan, I swear to fucking God," Mickey mumbles. I kiss the back of his head. "Ian?" Mickey tries to sit up but I hold on to him. He rotates his body to face me. I kiss his nose.

"What are you doing on the couch?" I whisper.

"You told me to fuck off, so I did," Mickey whispered back. He's speaking to me but his eyes are still closed. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me in. We manage to find a comfortable sleeping position on the couch together. Mickey holds me tight.

"I'm sorry, are you mad at me?" I ask him.

"No. I'm glad you're out of bed. It's been two weeks."

"I'm sorry," I say.

Mickey just mumbles something and snuggles into me. I feel his groin against my leg, it's half erect, but I pretend not to notice. When it fully erects I ignore it. This isn't what I want right now. I know Mickey doesn't either. He just holds me.

"You need a fucking shower," Mickey says.

"I'll take one in the morning," I tell him.

Someone wakes us in the morning. Mickey is grumpy and cursing. He falls off the couch onto the floor and when my eyes adjust to the light I see Mickey punch Ryan and tell him to "fuck off." I have no idea what was said.

"I was joking, Mick," Ryan says.

"It wasn't fucking funny," Mickey says.

"What?" I ask.

"I took care of it, Ian," Mickey says looking at me.

"No really, what happened?"

Mickey won't say. He leans down and kissed the top of my head and gives Ryan the finger. Mickey storms off to his bedroom and slams the door so hard something falls off the wall.

"What'd you do?" I ask Ryan.

"I'm sorry, Ian, it was a joke. I didn't mean it," Ryan says with his hand over the bruise that Mickey surely gave him from the punch.

"What did you say?" I ask, getting annoyed that I don't know what's going on, when I'm certain it's about me.

"I said that you were over your time of the month and finally let out of your cage," Ryan says.

"And Mickey punched you for that?" I ask.

"I believe we're caught up to the present. I'm sorry. It was a joke."

I nod and he helps me up. I pat him on the back. Mickey is standing on the other side of the door ready to pull me into a hug when the door opens. "He's an asshole, ignore him," Mickey says.

"It was funny," I tell Mickey.

"I didn't think it was."

"Go shower," Mickey says pulling away from me.

"Right," I say.

There is a bowl of cereal, toast, and coffee waiting for me at the table. Mickey kisses me on the top of my head, places a plate of bacon on the table and sits down. He scoots his chair closer to me.

"You're out of bed," says Kenyatta.

"I guess," I say.

"Watch baby, today," She says to Mickey. She puts the baby in Mickey's arms and leaves. Its warming up outside, spring is here, but there is still snow on the ground in some places. Mickey puts Yevgeny in his carrier and sits it on a chair next to the table.

"Why are you still here?" I ask Kenyatta.

"What?"

"I thought Mandy would have dumped you by now." I tell him. I slam my fist on the table. Mickey is the first one up. He grabs my shoulder. I shake him off. "You know what you did."

"Ian," Mickey says.

"Will someone get this crazy fool away from me?" Kenyatta asks. Mickey climbs over the table and hits Kenyatta repeatedly. Kenyatta fights back, but even though he's much bigger than Mickey he's not a challenge.

Ryan and I pull Mickey off Kenyatta. He wipes the blood off his face and gives Kenyatta a swift kick. "He's not fucking crazy. Say it again, and you won't be living," Mickey says.

"Okay, you need to calm the fuck down," Ryan tells Mickey after he releases him. "You have been on edge for two weeks."

"Can we talk?" I ask Mickey.

Mickey follows me to his bedroom. I want to know why he's so angry. He lights up a cigarette, but his hands are shaking. I grab on to them. He pulls away. "Your hands are fucking freezing," Mickey says. But he grabs them again anyway.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I'm sick of fucking everyone telling me how to take care of you."

"What? I don't need anyone to take me, Mickey."

"But you were in bed for two weeks. I had to force you to eat."

"So I was depressed. We all get depressed. There's nothing wrong with me. Now, let's get dressed and go out. I want to see my family."

I start getting dressed. Mickey doesn't move from his spot. He watches me for a while before he finally starts moving. I catch him staring at me a lot while I'm getting dressed. Mickey never used to do that. It's nice that he is making an effort to be more open with me.

We take Yev in his stroller. It's a nice day. We don't have to bundle up so much. The temperature is supposed to be up to sixty today and it will melt the rest of the snow. I'm excited. Mickey holds my hand as I push the stroller.

My house is noisy as always. I laugh as I shake the mud and snow off my shoes and climb the stairs. Mickey lifts Yev's stroller and I try to open the door. It's locked. I try my key. It won't work. I knock.

Carl opens the door. He immediately hugs me and then let's go, he moves aside so Mickey and I can enter. "Fiona changed the locks to keep Frank out."

"She didn't give me a key," I say.

"You were with him," Carl nods at Mickey.

"Hey, look who's feeling better," says Fiona throwing herself in my arms. She gives me a tight squeeze before letting go and giving much needed attention to Yev who only scowls at her. Yep, he's Mickey's kid.

"Why did you change the locks?" I ask Fiona.

"Frank is looking for a home again. Sheila won't let him back in, not that I blame her. He fucking stole money from me. I can't believe it. The house was empty for four hours and he broke in and stole the money for the electric bill."

"He's back to his old self," I tell her.

"I wish he were dead," Fiona says, "at least Monica had the good sense to stay gone. So how long are you here for?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to see everyone."

Mickey follows me through the house with Yev. He's actually carrying him instead of wheeling him around in the stroller, which I am glad about. Upstairs, my bed is gone. It's just Carl and Liam's beds in there. The bunk beds were taken down. They've moved on without me.

"Where's your bed?" Mickey asks.

"They've erased me from their lives."

"Ian, it could be a misunderstanding," Mickey says.

"No. They changed the locks. They took away my bed. I don't belong here."

"Ian," Mickey says reaching out to me. He lays Yev down on Carl's bed and pins me against the wall. The scene reminds me of one we had weeks ago the day Mickey came out. That was the first time he admitted we were a couple.

"Hey, are you coming down?" Fiona asks. Mickey was about to say something, but he doesn't. "Is everything okay?" She looks at Mickey pinning me against the wall. He releases me and steps back. It probably doesn't look so good from her point of view.

"Where's my bed?"

"We moved it so Frank wouldn't have a bed to claim," Fiona says.

"See, I told you it's not what you think," says Mickey.

"So you're not trying to replace me?"

"That's what you think? Jesus, Ian," Fiona says as if it's the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard.

"I guess I overreacted," I say feeling stupid. I pick up Yev and he lays his head against my neck. I love you, Yev. "We should go."

"Go where?" Mickey and Fiona ask together.

"We need to go see Lip," I tell Fiona.

"He's at school, Ian. He has finals coming up."

"He's my brother and I want to see him," I say. I push past her and leave. Fiona and Mickey are both on my heels. I put Yev in his stroller.

"Ian, wait. We'll call him and invite him to dinner," Fiona suggests.

"No. I want to go there. I haven't seen his campus. We used to be best friends. I want to get that back."

"Ian, don't," says Fiona.

"Why don't you want me to go over there?" I ask her.

Fiona doesn't answer so I give her a kiss and head out the door. Fiona catches up with us to give me a key to the house. "Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yeah, of course," Fiona says giving my bicep a squeeze.

Mickey and I take the L to Lip's college. It's a big campus. I look around at everything, the boys playing Frisbee in the mud in an open area between buildings, some girl playing the violin under a tree in the distance, a couple of girls making out on a bench. There are even birds. I didn't think the birds were back yet, but I hear birds singing.

"Watch where you're walking," says some guy I bump into.

"Hey, watch it, freak," says another.

"Fuck you," Mickey yells after him. He tugs on my shirt and pulls me out someone's way. I spot a squirrel and feel Mickey suddenly yank me out of the way of a car that I almost walked in front of. I didn't notice that he had taken Yev's stroller from me and was pushing it himself. "Will you pay fucking attention?"

"Sorry, Mickey," I say.

"Hey," says a girl who winks at Mickey. When a guy looks at me Mickey tenses up. I can almost feel his anger.

"Keep walking, asshole," Mickey growls.

"Look at that," I point to some guys testing a robot outside of one of the buildings.

"Come on," Mickey says, "Do you even know what dorm Lip is in?"

"Ian?" says Lip. I spin around so fast I almost knock Mickey over. Yev starts to cry. Mickey curses under his breath and frantically searches for something to keep Yev quiet. I take him from Mickey and he stops crying. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you."

"You could have called," Lip says.

"Do you have a date tonight?" I ask.

"No, I fucking have finals coming up. I have to study. College isn't like high school. This German philosophy class is going to kill me. But it's good to see you," Lip says.

He hugs me. It doesn't feel the same as when he used to hug me. We were so close once. Lip used to be my best friend. Then I left. That changed. We're not friends anymore. Now we're just brothers.

Lip gives us a tour of campus that ends at his dorm. Amanda is sitting on his bed reading when we come in. I didn't realize they were still together. He kisses her, throws his bookbag on the floor, and sits down beside her. Mickey and I look around. There really isn't any place to sit except his roommate's bed. His roommate isn't here, so after a non-verbal agreement Mickey and I sit.

I rest Yev against me. He's making cute baby noises that cause Amanda to smile. I hand him over to her and he just scowls. "He's definitely a Milkovich," says Lip. Mickey flips him off.

"So Lip tells me you're bipolar," says Amanda.

"What? No. That's our mom. Our mom is bipolar. I'm not. I was just depressed for a while. Everyone gets depressed. I'm fine now."

No one comments. I shrug and focus on the details of Lip's room. He has a giant wall schedule that Amanda made. I can tell she made it because the handwriting is actually legible. There is a mini fridge with Lip's name on it, but I know it's not his. Where would he get the money for it?

"So are you still a pimp?" Amanda asks Mickey.

"Yes."

"Still chatty I see," Amanda says.

"Oh, you know what would we should all do? We should go to the zoo when it warms up."

"I'm not sure, Ian," says Mickey calmly.

"Fuck it, let's do it," says Lip, "I haven't been in years. It might be nice. We'll bring Liam and make a fucking day of it."

"After finals," Amanda says.

I nod. I wouldn't want Lip to miss finals. Mickey and I don't linger. After I change Yev, I pack up our stuff and leave. Lip hugs me tight before I go. On the train ride home Mickey holds my hand.

"You need to make up with Ryan," I say.

"Only if he apologizes to you," Mickey says, "I'll make him fucking apologize if he refuses."

"He already apologized. Please make up with him."

"I will," Mickey says. I look at him. "Fucking quit giving me that look; I said I will so I fucking will."