A/N: Okay, so the plot synopsis's have been released for 5x01, 5x02, and 5x03, and now I have some insight into the direction I need to take this to connect it to the series when the show resumes in 28 days. So let's do this. If you haven't heard about any of the synopsis's let me know and I would happily link them to you.

Part Seventy-One: Deep Denial

I am always going, always moving. It's difficult to sit down. I just want to keep going. This morning, I ran seven miles. I could have gone another seven if Ryan hadn't dragged me back inside. He didn't drag me back in for running he dragged me back in to talk Mandy out of taking Kenyatta back. He's in a body cast from Mickey beating him within an inch of his life and Mandy is taking care of him.

I think it's bull shit and she should just let him die, but she will never do that. Whenever I try to talk to her about it she gets really offended. I don't know why. I have just made every bed in the house and replaced all the sheets. Ryan is helping me put away laundry.

"So, do you think maybe you should go to the clinic?" Ryan asks.

"You think I should get an STD test?" I ask.

"What? You think you have an STD?"

"No. You said I should go to the clinic."

"I meant the mental health clinic."

I laugh as I smooth the edges of the sheet on Colin's bed. He hasn't been home much since Mickey came out, but I want his bed to look nice for when he does.

"Why would I go there?"

"You know for the bipolar disorder. You could get checked out."

"I don't have bipolar disorder," I tell Ryan. He must be confused. "You're thinking of Monica."

"Come on, Ian. There is something wrong with you. Everyone is tiptoeing around you, including Mickey and they need to be honest with themselves and with you. You need help."

"I'm not crazy, Ryan."

"I didn't say you were. Mickey's worried about you."

"Mickey knows I'm not crazy."

"Fuck. Ian, no one thinks you're crazy, but we do think there is something seriously wrong with you. Actually, no, we know there is something wrong with you. This isn't normal behavior. Mickey's only humoring you because he loves you and wants to keep you around."

"Mickey wouldn't lie to me."

I move on to collect Colin's clothes that are on the floor. I carry them to the washing machine. Ryan follows me trying to convince me that something is wrong with me when it isn't. I separate the clothes and put in the white's first.

"I didn't say he was lying. I said he was humoring you. Where did he tell you he is?"

"Work," I say, "I packed him a lunch."

"Yeah, well he's not at work. He's going to work later; right now he's at the clinic getting information on mental illness."

"Fuck you," I tell him, "He's at work. I'll prove it."

I put on my shoes and dress Yevy to go find his daddy. Ryan is coming with me. I am going to prove to him that Mickey is at the Rub 'N' Tug. The Alibi is pretty busy today. Tommy's construction crew has come in for midday drinks. Kev's not behind the bar, but instead it's Veronica. She's getting extra tips for showing more cleavage. I give her a peck on the cheek.

"Is Mickey here?" I ask.

"He stepped out."

"Did he say where he was going?"

"I don't know, can you take this to that man over there? He's been pinching my ass every time I get near his table."

I deliver the drink and then take a seat at the bar with Yev. Svetlana comes down. She's pregnant. I don't know whose it is, but I seriously doubt it's Mickey's. He doesn't seem to care. I wait for him.

After an hour, Mickey hasn't returned. I am about to give up when Mickey finally comes in. He takes his usually stool without noticing I'm even here. Finally when V looks at him then at me he notices. I get up and leave without speaking to him.

"Ian," says Mickey.

"You lied to me."

"What? No, I didn't."

"You told me that you were working all day today. But you lied. You were at the clinic."

"Who the fuck told you that?"

"Ryan."

"He's a dead man."

"You're going to commit me aren't you?"

"What? No. I was getting information. I want to know more information about bi-bi what the fuck ever it is." Mickey looks down at the pamphlet in his hand, "Bipolar Disorder."

"I. AM. NOT. BIPOLAR."

I leave. I don't want to be around Mickey. I can't look at him. I take Yevgeny with me. Mickey chases after me like he always does but I don't pay attention to him. I can't pay attention to him. I'm not talking to him.

Mickey chases me all the way home. I start throwing my clothes into a bag. Mickey takes the baby from me and hands him off to Ryan so that we can talk about this. Mickey talks. I pretend to listen. I don't bother to fold anything.

"You're overreacting." I don't listen. I start humming to tune him out. "If you fucking think I'm letting you leave you've got the wrong idea." I could get the rest of my clothes later. I try to get out of the room but Mickey won't let me. I want to get past without using force. "Will you stop? I want to talk." I don't. I push Mickey out of my way. He grabs me by the hand and drags me, with great force, back into his room and shuts the door. "You're not fucking leaving me."

I don't talk. Mickey doesn't seem to care that I won't talk to him. We sit in the room and stare at each other. One of us is going to crack and it's not going to be me. I sit on the bed and turn to face the wall. Mickey leans against the door.

"Mickey, Svetlana wants to know if you're coming back to the Alibi," says Ryan from the other side.

"Fuck off," Mickey says.

"I'll tell her no."

Mickey and I stay this way for several hours. We eat dinner with my family without talking to each other. We sit on opposite ends of the table. No one comments, but I know they all notice. I start talking to Debbie about her boy problems and Carl asks Mickey to teach him about guns.

"He's so cute," says Debbie about the latest boy that she likes.

"Is he older than you?" I ask her.

"Ian, could you pass the bread?" Mickey asks.

I ignore him and continue talking to Debbie. Lip gives Mickey what he wants. I ignore him. Even after dinner I offer to help Fiona with the dishes and ignore Mickey completely. He is waiting for me to go back to his house with him, but I take my time.

"Why are you fighting?" Fiona asks.

"He's an asshole."

"What did he do?"

"He betrayed me."

"Did he cheat?"

"No. I don't want to talk about it."

Fiona rubs my shoulders and kisses me on the cheek. I finish the dishes and finally decide to leave. Mickey walks with me smoking a cigarette. We don't talk, we don't hold hands, and we don't look at each other. He just walks in pace with me.

I grab a pillow off Mickey's bed and a thin blanket from the closet. I am going to sleep on the couch. Mickey can have the bed. Sometime during the night I feel the couch shift as Mickey crawls in with me. He spoons me from behind and buries his face in my hair.

"I'm sorry," Mickey mumbles into my hair. He kisses the back of my neck. "I am worried about you. I just wanted more information."

"You don't want to send me away?"

"Fuck no. I want to figure out what's wrong with you."

"Nothing's wrong with me," I tell him. I roll over so we're face to face. I peck Mickey on the lips. He seems to like it. He nuzzles into me and kisses my neck.

"Something is off," Mickey says.

"I disagree," I say, kissing his nose.

"I won't ever let anyone take you away," Mickey says before pulling me into a deep kiss. We make out for a long time before going to sleep. Mickey's laying on top of my chest when we both wake up. When he lifts his head there is a big wet spot on my shirt. Mickey drooled in his sleep.

"You drooled all over me," I tell him.

"Marking my territory," Mickey jokes.

I tackle Mickey and we wrestle in the middle of the living room. He pins me and stares into my eyes. I get free and we continue to wrestle. I gain the upper hand, but he still manages to pin me. He's stronger than he looks.

"Fuck me," I whisper.

"Right here?" Mickey asks.

Mickey and I get out of our clothes quickly. We engage in a different type of wrestling match. I only pray no one walks in on us in the middle of the living room. Mickey wants to try topping. I let him. But we end up with our old positions. It seems to work for us that way.

We dress quickly when there is movement in the house. Mickey and I snuggle on the couch; he's laying between my legs with his stomach against mine. He looks up and I kiss him gently.

"You make me sick," says Svetlana.

"Hey, will you go for a run with me?" I ask Mickey.

"Fuck no. I have plans today."

"What are you doing?" I ask.

Mickey doesn't answer. He sits up. I take his hand. He kisses me before walking to the bathroom. I follow him. "Look, it's just something I got to do."

"Why can't you tell me?"

Mickey doesn't respond. He just dresses his clothes and leaves me behind. I want to follow him. I think it might be a good idea to do so. I convince Mandy and Ryan to come with me by telling them that I think Mickey might be cheating. Which I don't believe, but they don't need to know that.

Mickey is inside a jewelry shop. I can't see what he's looking at, but I feel my heart tighten in my chest. What if he's looking at something for me? I can't stop the smile from forming on my face. I put my hand over my heart to settle it down.

"Satisfied?" Ryan asks.

"Is he buying me a ring?" I ask Ryan.

"How the fuck should I know?"

"He could be pawning off some jewelry he stole," Mandy says.

That's true. I hadn't considered that. Mickey walks over to a glass display in the store and points at something. The associate helping him follows him and begins gesturing about it. No. He's not pawning anything.

"What the fuck is he doing?" Mandy asks.

"I'd like to know. I'm his best friend and I don't even know," says Ryan.

I look at Ryan. "No. I'm his best friend," I correct him.

"No, you're his boyfriend. There's a difference."

"Don't fight over this like a bunch of girls," says Mandy. She smacks me in the ass. I nudge her with my elbow. "Besides, you were my best friend before you were Mickey's. I still call dibs."

I kiss her on the cheek. Mandy smacks my ass again then playfully kicks at me. Mandy is the only girl outside my family that I have ever loved, I am considering V part of the family. Mandy's more than a friend to me. She's part of me, not in the way Mickey is, but she has a firm grasp on my heart.

"Whatever Mickey is doing, it looks like he's done and we should probably move before he spots us," says Mandy.

We scatter. Mandy stays. Ryan and I hide to eavesdrop. Mickey is not a soft person. The only other person he's soft with besides me is Mandy. I can hear in his voice just how much she means to him.

"You didn't rob the place did you?" Mandy asks.

"Fuck no. In broad daylight? I ain't that fucking stupid," says Mickey.

"So what were you doing there?"

"I pawned my wedding ring."

"Why?" Mandy asks.

"I don't feel married to that bitch anymore, and I am no longer hiding. People know now that the marriage is a fucking joke, so why should I keep it?"

"Oh, I thought you were buying a ring for Ian," Mandy says.

They stop talking, or they lower their voices so Ryan and I can no longer hear them. Their footsteps change direction. What the fuck is going on? Ryan and I come out of our hiding place and see that Mickey and Mandy have gone into the jewelry store. They are standing above the same display Mickey was looking at.

They start to come this way so we hide again. Mandy is talking this time. "I think that's great, Mick."

"Keep your fucking mouth shut."

"I'm a Milkovich, aren't I?"

A/N: Mickey and Mandy in the jewelry store has NOTHING to do with the synopsis of the episodes. I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea. Also, Ian's chapters are going to tie in with what's supposed to happen. I'm not looking forward to writing certain spoilers from season 5. But in the meantime, what is Mickey up to?