Sandy stood over Ryan's sleeping body. How many times had he watched Seth and Rosie sleep over the years? Too many times to count. That was his job as their father: to watch over them and make sure they were safe, even while they were sleeping. Sandy never had the chance to do that with Ryan, until now. This may have been the safest Ryan had ever been.
As much as Sandy's brain wanted to focus on and worry about all of the terrible things Ryan had been through up to this point, he knew he couldn't let it. He just had to focus on the now. Ryan was with him now. Ryan was safe now. Ryan could relax and be a kid now. But could he? Would Sandy ever be able to convince him that he was safe to just be a kid? What kind of future did he have ahead of him if he couldn't? What kind of future did he think he had before Sandy? Getting arrested with his brother… Was he smart enough to get into college? Even a state school? Had he thought about it? Kirsten and Sandy had already been preparing to help Seth out when the time came for him to start applying to schools. It was just what parents did. Did Ryan have anyone else in his life who would help him make major decisions like that?
Ryan woke up and lay perfectly still. He wanted to stretch, but he didn't. He had no idea where he was. He needed to get his bearings before moving, in case it wasn't safe. Where was he? Home? The detention center? His toe twitched, only slightly. There was something to his left. The back of a couch. He was lying on a couch. In his new father's house. He had been watching movies with his new brother. The thoughts and images of the last few days felt more like a dream to him than any dreams he had actually had. It seemed ridiculous thinking that he had a new dad and a new family, maybe even a family of genuinely nice and not crazy people. But the idea itself was crazy. There was still plenty of time for something to go wrong.
Maybe they really were nice people. But in that case, Ryan would mess it up eventually. Probably sooner rather than later. Maybe they were just a different kind of crazy than he was used to, or just better at covering it up. He was pretty sure it was the latter, but he still wasn't completely sure. It didn't really matter. Either way, it was just a part of Ryan's life. It was never going to change.
As Sandy watched his son open his eyes, he realized that it may not have been a great idea to hover over his sleeping body. The second their eyes met, the boy jumped and practically fell off the couch.
"Hey! Hey. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I was just checking on you." He watched Ryan mumble 'sorry' and struggle to sit up. Sandy resisted the urge to help him. He was still injured, for God's sake and Sandy, as his father, couldn't even reach out to him to help. It was infuriating. He decided the best way to diffuse the situation would be to focus on something else. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."
Ryan's heart dropped. Sandy had startled him. Why had he been standing over him while he was sleeping? Ryan guessed it didn't really matter anymore. It was obvious that he had already messed up. He had been trying so hard to be good, he had no idea what could have pushed Sandy to kick him out so soon. But it didn't matter.
"I talked to the social worker. And a few other people..."
Sandy wasn't really sure how to tell Ryan that he was never leaving. Well, not never leaving. He could leave to go to college. If he wanted. But Sandy hoped he would come back. Should he phrase it as a question? Or make it a demand? Ryan had been pushed around for so much of his life, Sandy should probably ask him how he felt about the situation before forcing it on him. But what if he asked Ryan if he wanted to stay and Ryan said no? Saying 'Oh well, it doesn't matter what you want. You're staying here' wouldn't be a great start. Sandy was surprised that Ryan speaking was what pulled him away from his thoughts.
"Should I… um… go pack my things?"
"What? No! No! Kid, you're not leaving. Actually I wanted to talk to you about the exact opposite of that!" Sandy couldn't believe he had just let the poor kid sit there while he thought of the best way to tell him he was staying. Obviously, just telling him instead of letting him worry was best.
Sandy rubbed his face. Ryan looked confused. At least from the angle Sandy could see. His face was turned away. Sandy's thoughts began to mull over what a horrible person he was before he realized that he was torturing the kid again. He sighed.
"I wanted to tell you, well ask you really… how you would feel if you stayed here with us."
"I uh I don't have to." He looked confused. What did he have to be confused about? Maybe Sandy wasn't clear.
"I, we actually, want you to stay here. For good. We want this to be a permanent place for you. Would you be okay with that? And I really hope you don't say 'no' because I honestly don't see any other options at this point. And I would really love it if you stayed here."
Ryan had never been more confused in his entire life. Had he really heard the man correctly? But he wasn't just a man. He was his father. And what did that really mean? His real father had spent his life beating and yelling at him. But that wasn't his real father. Was that it? Was that the secret behind Ryan's entire life of shit? He hadn't had his real father around? With the solution to that problem in front of him, it seemed too good to be true. No, his problems weren't all gone. They couldn't be. But he couldn't find the bad in this situation. He was sure it was somewhere, but it was hidden.
"Yeah. Sure."