I know ages ago someone suggested "Titanic" so here it is, I'm sorry I can't remember who it was. :-)

Titanic

"I canee do it captain I just canee do it!" Scotty wailed when Kirk broached the movie for the night with him.

"Scotty why not? It's not that bad a movie!"

"Aye captain. It's a movie I rather like – but I will not watch another movie based on any kind of historic events with that pointy eared – ah, hello there Mr Spock".

"Have to agree with Scotty Jim, he does drive us up the wall with that" Bones chimed in.

"Why would I make you - drive up a wall doctor? That sounds both dangerous, difficult and bordering on non – sensical".

Bones yelled, Scotty rolled his eyes and Kirk patted the Vulcan gently on the shoulder in lieu of explanation.

"Maybe we should give this one a miss."

"Captain – I fear you and the crew misunderstand me and imagine that I dislike movies that are, as Mr Scott says based on historic events. I feel I must rectify this assumption with all due haste."

"But Spock –" Kirk argues, not unreasonably – "Gladiator!"

"Was indeed filled from start to finish with anachronistic detail, yes Captain, that s not to say that there was no enjoyable element in the viewing thereof."

"Gone With the Wind!"

"Was an extremely interesting interpretation of events with an unusual historical bias."

"Troy!"

"Captain –" Spock shook his head almost sadly – "You and I both agreed there was no excuse for Troy."

"Come on Scotty" Kirk sighed – "Let's get this over with."

"If it acts as a consolation Captain I promise to bring up no commentary on the historical accuracy of this movie."

"Here's hoping" Bones rolled his eyes.

"Thank you Spock" Kirk nodded, if somewhat dubiously.

Kirk's doubt was proven valid not long after when Spock leaned over to inquire – most politely – why, given that he had been informed the movie was based on historical event the plot insisted on focusing around these two specific made up characters. It was, Kirk supposed, rather a valid point and one to which he had no answer.

For a while after that it seemed to get better and he caught Spock nodding very slightly at the validity of the technicality involved with the sinking of the ship. It was only later, towards the very end that he saw Spock making the face that meant he was calculating hard in his head.

"Okay Spock what is it?"

"Captain I calculate that it would be as likely for both of these characters to survive by clinging to this floating debris as it would be for one."

Kirk was just frowning this one out when to his immense surprise Bones leaned over to chime in –

"The Vulcan does have a point captain – plus she just said she'd never let go and then promptly let go. It does make a certain lack of sense."

Kirk could have sworn Spock actually looked pleased.

"Damn it Bones don't encourage him!"

Bones shrugged;

"Fair point though."

Before long however all conversation was drowned out by Scotty singing raucously over the end credits and they all filed out that night with their ears ringing to the sounds of –

"NEAR! FAAAAR! WHERE-EEEEVER YOU ARE – I BELIEEEEVE THAT THE HEART DOES GOWAAANN!"

"I am never watching anything with any of you ever again" Bones sighed.

_x_