Maybe I overreacted. I did kind of freak out. The previous night's events had Kodo's nerves shot. School, club, work and worrying about the company, and having to deal with a harboring crush on her fiancee put her under a heavy amount of stress. It's not like I'm not ready for this- for- he and I to move forward in that direction. In fact, it would probably help in calming my anxiety. So why did she panic?

Trudging into the living room, she stared blankly at the decaying bouquets of flowers that still littered the house. Many of the flowers had wilted and their petals had fallen to the floor. She'd have to clean that up eventually. A buzzing from her pocket alerted her to the invention of the cellular phone. Pulling it out quickly, she had to stare at it for a moment to register what was happening it it.

"Oh, the alarm." She muttered to herself before turning it off. That's right, she'd woken up early for no apparent reason. It was quiet in the house this morning. Was her father not there? Grabbing the remote, she turned on the TV for some sort of company as the ringing in her ears was deafening today. Afterward she wandered through the main hall and into the dining room to the kitchen to make a cup of noodles. She really needed to learn to cook one day.

Staring at the kettle while waiting for it to heat the water, she let her mind wander to last night. She was a pushover if it meant getting something she wanted, so why did she react how she did? The idea of rape was a scary one and something she was afraid of, but not to the point of flipping out on Kyouya. In fact, she wanted sex. Was it because she still had trust issues with him? Or because he was an imposing figure in her life?

"...accusing Ohtori Kyouya of unwanted sexual acts while under the influence of alcohol."

What?

Leaving the kettle, she half jogged into the living room, her senses suddenly at full capacity. She'd not told anyone about what happened- in fact, she'd not spoken to anyone since the incident- so how did the news of all things find out about-

The image of an attractive young woman appeared on screen, cutting off her thought process. "Shijun Inamoto, the head of the Shijun industrial industries has filed an official complaint toward the youngest son of the Ohtori family for acts of sexual assault and underrage drinking." Images were flashing of Kyouya along with the woman. "We have a short interview with Shijun ahead. Stay tuned." It switched to commercials and all Kodo could do was shake in her house slippers as the kettle whistled loudly from the kitchen.

What?!

So he couldn't have her, he went to some other woman. And a really attractive native looking one, too. She had a high status and a lot of money, by the sound of it. Maybe I should have just let him have his way with me! I would have given in sooner or later, knowing me. Pursing her lips, Kodo stamped back into the kitchen and turned off the fire under the kettle with such a force that the knob twisted in such a way it popped off the stick and ricocheted off her hand, hit the cabinet side and bounced upward to hit her in the chin before clattering on the floor. "OW!" Rubbing her face, she seethed before kicking the knob across the floor where it slid under the fridge. "And stay there!" She screeched, tears building already.

So many thoughts ran through her head. What was this feeling? Her chest hurt, and she struggled to breathe. Upset, sure. Embarrassed? No, that wasn't right. Betrayed. Yes. He'd betrayed her. This was what it was like to feel when you couldn't trust anyone any more. She'd understood the concept, and understood it completely, but to feel it, in your body and your chest and your eyes are so close to shedding tears; it was so unpleasant.

Wiping her face, she finished preparing her noodles in a robotic fashion before returning to the living room to finish watching the news. The reputation of the Ohtori family was practically destroyed, Shijun was the 'victim', and the woman only talked about how 'she felt violated just being in his presence'.

"He can have that effect on you if you don't know how to talk to him." Kodo muttered to the TV as she stabbed her chopsticks into the cup of noodles. "Though why he didn't try to host you is beyond me."

"What's all this about?" Her father's voice caught her by surprise.

"Apparently Kyouya went and got himself a new girlfriend!" Kodo picked up the remote and threw it at the wall by the television.

"Calm down!" Iwao stood, listening long enough to figure out what happened. "Pumpkin. I don't think this is a good idea."

"That what isn't? Marrying him?"

"Yes."

She was silent a long time before looking to the side. "I'm not going to school today." The last thing she needed was dealing with Kyouya, or worse, the host club.

"Pumpkin! Your education is-"

"My education can be put on hold for a day while I avoid that cheating scoundrel!" Slamming down the cup of noodles on the side table, Kodo had to wince as warm water splashed up in her face. "Augh.." Wiping her cheek, she turned on her heel and headed toward her room. "I'm going back to bed." Unintentionally her voice cracked in the middle of her sentence, and her throat cleared in attempt to cover it.

"Pumpkin!"

She paused, one foot already on the bottom stair.

"Respond to me when I speak to you."

"What is it dad?!" Turning her head, she stared at him hard, jaw clenched and brows together.

"Tomorrow- is your birthday. Your mother's will, it-"

"I know, dad! I- I know." Shaking her head, she realized she had two options. Technically three, but she didn't want to speak to Kyouya. Either not get married before midnight and have nothing for the rest of her life, or get married to the man her father had traveled those few days to see and get her inheritance then. "I'll-" Swallowing hard, she shakily nodded. "I'll do it."

"Do what?"

"I'll.. marry that man you went to see. You owe his family a debt, right? It's fine."

"Pumpkin, you don't have to-"

Gripping her fists tightly, she stared hard at the floor. "You'd better call him soon, I think it's a long trip from there to here." She heard him sigh heavily, her peripherals showing him nod slightly.

"Alright. But only if you want."

"Yea, it's fine." About then she heard her phone ringing in her pocket. "I gotta get that." Spinning on her heel, she jogged up the stairs to her room and slammed the door shut. Staring at her phone that sat in her hand, she saw Tamaki's picture show up on the screen. Opening it, she pushed the green button before sighing heavily. "Hey Tamaki."

"Kodo, Kodo! Did you see the news?!"

"Yes I saw it."

"Why aren't you upset? I just saw you two last night, and- I didn't expect Kyouya to do something like that!"

"Yea, me either."

"You sound so calm. Are you okay?"

"No." She tried to hide her voice breaking.

"I tried calling him, but he didn't answer!"

"Do you think he would? He probably doesn't want to face any of us out of shame. I don't blame him."

"This is so unlike him. I mean, they have pictures of him and her exiting the hotel, too!"

"Uhm. I'm not.. I'm not coming to school today."

"I'm canceling today's club activities, but the school party is still tonight, if that's what you're worried about."

"No. I'd rather not receive any more people's pity. I've heard enough after mom's funeral. I don't need to hear it over this matter too."

"Don't worry! We'll get to the bottom of this and expose him for what he is!"

"A hormonal teenager who can't keep his pants on?"

"No. Innocent, of course!"

"Hah!" She laughed, but it was fake. "Wow, I can't believe you'd take his side in this! He cheated on me, and you want to prove his innocence? How blind can you be, Tamaki?"

"Kodo, I've known him a long time. He wouldn't do something like that if it put someone he cared about in jeopardy!"

"Whatever, Tamaki. Be as optimistic as you like, but I'm not marrying him."

"What! Kodo, you have to by tonight-"

"Yes, I know! I'm just not marrying him!"

"Then who-"

She sighed loud enough to cut him off. "Someone my father owes a debt to. I don't even care at this point."

"You can't think illogically here, Kodo! After Kyouya, and maybe Haruhi, you're the most logical person I know!"

That made her sinuses tingle enough to make her nose run and her eyes water. "I can't keep doing that, Tamaki. I might be logical, but I'm still a girl controlled by emotions. And when someone does something as illogical as what he did, I can't keep up with logics." She sniffed, her voice becoming higher as she tried to hold back tears.

"You can't give up yet. At least-"

Her phone buzzing in her hand cut off what he was saying. "I've got to go, I have another call coming in." She didn't wait for him to respond before switching the line over. It was Hani this time, also concerned over the whole matter. It was another round of having to feel like she had to defend her actions of marrying someone else. She was doing the right thing after all. Right? Kaoru called next, he and his brother speaking at the same time and making it practically impossible to understand them. At this point she was just repeating herself. After hanging up with them, she half expected Haruhi to call. But as her phone sat there, silent, she realized that wasn't happening. Haruhi wasn't one to keep up with tabloids and things like that. Unless it centered around friends, right? Should she call her instead? Vent to her? Was it something she should even bother Haruhi with? She was one to listen after all. But Tamaki was right, she was logical, too. The last thing Kodo wanted to hear was more logics. Couldn't someone feel bad for her? Support her emotionally? Wiping her face with her sleeve, she picked herself up from her chair and dragged her feet over to her bed where she landed face first into her pillow to cry. Only this time it wasn't just for feeling betrayed by Kyouya. Her mother's death was catching up, big time. How much more was she going to lose before she'd get a break?

-x-

A knocking at her door woke her up, slowly. At first, it was peaceful and her mind forgot about the events that transpired. But the knocking repeated, louder, and her father's voice brought her back to a reality that crashed her spirit in the ground.

"Pumpkin?" His tone was quieter, perhaps a little solemn. "I'm coming in."

She didn't even bother responding as her door opened, the figure of her father a blur as he stepped inside. "Is he here?" She asked, her throat feeling hoarse.

"No."

"Why?" Slowly she sat up, brushing her fingers through her hair as she glanced up at him.

"Because you're not marrying him."

Rolling her eyes, she slapped her hands on the bed beside her as she laid back down. "Again telling me what I can and can't do. Typically you, dad." She was becoming her old self again, and she didn't care. Spiteful, rude, and more ass than bad.

"You aren't marrying someone you don't want to."

"And I don't get my inheritance. So I'll be broke and loveless. And jobless, too. Wonderful!" Rolling over, she faced the wall to stare at it, hard. Her chest hurt.

"Your money or wealth doesn't define you. It's what actions you take to carry out your ideals."

"At this point I don't even know what that is."

"Pumpkin."

She ignored him.

"Kodo."

Curling up, she shook her head, whispering. "Don't call me that."

"Let me take you somewhere nice, just father and daughter."

"Why? I'm sick of people's pity."

"For fuck's sake Pumpkin, it's not pity! Can't I do something nice for my daughter?

"What, like waste away your money?" She sat up quickly. "Steal from me? Leave me no cash while you go traveling suddenly? Make plans regarding my life for your benefit? I'm not an asset, dad! I'm a human being!" As she spoke she saw his fists clench while his jaw tightened. He was getting angry, but good! Let the whole world be angry!

"Yes, you are! And that is why I want to try and make things right!"

"Make.. make things right? It's a little too late for that! Mom's dead! You should have tried to 'make things right' with her! Don't think you can try to get retribution with her through me!"

"You blame me for that, don't you?" Sadness filled his eyes as his hand went to cover his chin.

"I blame you for everything! You're the most inconsiderate human being I've ever met, and you deserve to die in the hole you're digging for yourself!" She was sure he was about to hit her, but instead he turned and walked out of the room, almost hesitating on closing the door before deciding against it. He was half way down the stairs before she could mutter anything else. "Close the door."

"What!"

"Close the door!" She shrieked.

"Close it yourself, if you're so damned independent!" After a moment the front door opened and slammed so hard the house shook.

Bursting into tears she couldn't stop, Kodo brought her knees to her chin and cried. Now she'd pushed her father away, too. She had no one, and nothing. No one she could call even if she wanted to, and nothing she could find comfort in. Her things were just that- things. Material objects that only brought a temporary happiness. So what was it she wanted? What was this feeling of need and desire? It wasn't sexual. Comfort. She wanted comforted. Wiping her face and feeling her cheeks sting from the repeated action of doing so, she slowly dragged her body out of bed and stood in her doorway, a toe's width away from stepping out of her room. Logic told her she wanted a hug, someone to rest against. Even for a moment, that's what she wanted. Emotion told her she didn't need anyone or anything. But emotion started doing something else. It began messing with her vulnerable mind. Why not go masturbate? It'll make you feel better. But why stop there? That's lonely. You could go outside and grab the first guy on the street you see and have sex with them. You're not bound to anyone any more. You can do whatever you want. Why not grab the first girl you see? That could be fun. Or better yet, a guy and a girl, together. Or two guys. However, logic argued back. Masturbating isn't going to solve your problems. Why involve more people into your issues? Calm down. You need to figure out your next course of action.

Shaking her head, she realized she'd been standing there for at least an hour. Her feet were starting to hurt. Taking a step forward, she stared down the stairs, the idea of pulling someone in and having her way with them was certainly something that was appealing. But if she did, would that make her just as bad as Kyouya? What if she invited Hikaru and Kaoru over and tie them up? But that'd be like rape! Stupid logics. That would be rape. Exhaling hard, she ran down the stairs and stood in the living room, panting softly as she stared at the clock. Noon. She could still catch the rest of school if she wanted. If she wanted. Hah. How about no.

Blrrng blrrng.

Her phone ringing again caught her attention, and she turned to jog back up the stairs. Doing all this moving hurt, but it woke her up and got her blood pumping. Swiping it off the desk, she popped it open to see Kyouya's picture. WHY WAS HE CALLING HER. "NO!" Tossing the phone on the bed, she screeched as she gripped her hands by her side. But, argued logic, maybe he's calling to apologize. "Apologize my ass! After what he did, he deserves no forgiveness!" Seething in the direction of her bed, she realized the phone had stopped ringing. He only let it ring twice? Unless.. "No.." Taking a few quick steps forward, she noticed the phone was open, and the call was connected. Whoever was on the other end, heard her. Not only that, they were talking. It did sound like Kyouya. Reaching out, she grabbed the phone to hold it to her ear.

"...understand. I intended to come see you, but I fell asleep in the car."

"No? There are pictures of you with her!"

"I didn't sleep with her, Kodo."

"Well you sure have one hell of a doppleganger!" She was switching languages again.

"A what?"

"Someone who looks like you!"

"I didn't-"

"I don't want to hear your excuses, Kyouya! I'm sick of people lying to me and treating me like I'm a little kid!"

"Kodo-"

"You said you weren't ready for marriage because of the responsibilities it comes with? Well I'm not ready to deal with you!" With that, she hung up the phone and tossed it on her desk, feeling herself cry again. There she went, pushing others away. Sinking to the floor, she wrapped her arms around her knees and rocked back and forth as she wept.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, you're just a wimp!

I think I'm allowed to feel like this once in awhile!

You're worried about them treating you like a child? You're acting like one!

I think I have good reason!

You never have a reason to act childish.

Inwardly she fought the battle of immaturity vs. maturity. As much as she wanted to rip her hair out and scream, the stress of everything finally having caught up, she could only sit and stare at the wall, eyes puffy and finally dried up. After sitting there for so long, she attempted to move, only to find her legs had fallen asleep. Maybe a walk will do me some good. She thought to herself. I need some fresh air.

-x-

It was chilly out, and one thing she noticed compared to Germany, was a lack of Halloween decorations for this time of year. There were some here and there, but not nearly as much as back home. She'd almost forgotten that the Host Club was having a Halloween party. Was that tonight? Indeed it was. Groaning inwardly, she continued on her walk, contemplating costume ideas. A cat? Too cliche. An animal of any sort? If she were an animal, she decided, it would probably be something equine. What about-

"Pumpkins! Sweet imported pumpkins! All the way from America!"

You have GOT to be joking. She just couldn't escape the curse of the gourds.

"That's right! On sale now, only a few left! Get your ripe orange pumpkins right here!"

Pausing at the stall, she had to glance back the direction she'd come to ponder how long she'd been walking. But that didn't matter at the moment.

"Tell me, madam." The stall keeper noticed she'd stopped, unfortunately. "Do you like pumpkin pie?"

Her mouth opened to reply with something rude and insulting, but she thought better of it. "Sor-ry." She attempted a tourist approach. "No under-stand you."

"Ah, a foreigner! What language do you speak?" He switched to English, as broken as her "Japanese", then French, Chinese, then Vietnamese. She had to hand it to him, he was versed in his tourism speech. Although, he was only saying things like, "Where is the bathroom?" and "Two for the price of one!" She wanted to laugh but had to keep a straight face.

"Deutschland. Spreken sie deutsch?"

He looked apologetic as he shook his head. But, he was determined. "Here!" He said a little loudly and slowly as though doing so would suddenly make her understand. "Two! How do you say two? In de-you-cha-rand-u?" He held up two fingers, trying to sound like he was asking a question as best he could. "Two! Two!"

"Zwei?"

"Zzz.." He made a face as he tried to repeat her, before seeing someone he recognized, dragging them over as well. "Do you speak German? This tourist walked up, and these are the last pumpkins I'm trying to get rid of! I need to her buy at least like three or four!"

"I don't, but we can at least try to get what she's worth."

Oh, this was very entertaining, and, it helped her calm her nerves a little. "Zz-vai!" he held up two fingers, and she inwardly mocked the stall owner. He wanted to rip her off? He didn't know who he was dealing with.

They both looked over at her and stared a moment before nodding at the same time. The stall owner stepped forward, smiling. "Ze-fa-i?"

Nodding, she repeated herself.

"Ze-va-i for one! Good deal!" He made hand gestures to go with his words, pushing the pumpkins forward on the surface his stall.

Tapping her chin, she examined the pumpkins like they were fine china sets out on display in a high end retail store. Reaching for one, she inspected it and turned it over and over, running her hands over the surface like she was looking for something embedded into it. It was heavy, but she didn't let that phase her movements. Memories returned from when she was little, her father putting a carved pumpkin on her head and chased her around the house. As it played out, she remembered she was wasn't upset about having the pumpkin on her head. In fact, she recalled laughing and giggling as he chased her. So why did the memory of that make her so upset? Why was it hurtful? That's right. Her mother had come in to see what the commotion was, mistakingly thinking Kodo's screeches were cries, and Kodo had ran directly into her mother with her father close behind. Without a second thought, Kotaphira yelled at Iwao, loudly, and Kodo had never heard that tone from her; it was that which had scared her, along with the scare of falling backward. It was that which had made her upset. But even at that young age she felt closer to her mother and subconsciously took her side in the matter even though she'd been having a good time before that. She'd ended up blaming her father in the incident when it wasn't his fault.

Placing the pumpkin back on the surface of the stall, she shook her head as the seller continued his talking. "No thank you." She responded before walking away, ignoring his calls for her to come back. All she could think was what else was she wrong about? What else about her childhood was a lie? Even her mother had retold the incident as though Iwao was at fault. What else did she blame him for? Was most of this blame pushed on to Kodo as she got older? It made her feel terrible. If she was going to start trying to act her age, she needed to start thinking for herself and not let others influence her. Or become biased in the process. Turning on to a street she recognized in the small shopping area by her house, she jogged toward a stall that sold incense and small altars. She considered herself Protestant, not Buddhist, but as they say, 'when in Rome..' Uhg, Tamaki was rubbing off in her. After buying what she thought was close enough to the stuff Haruhi had in her living room for her mother, Kodo started back home. She got it now. Why Haruhi and the others stood in silence at her mother's grave. They were talking to Mama-Haruhi as though she were still there, for a peace of mind, as though she were still around. To keep her close to their hearts, so they wouldn't have to give her up. In the same way, Kodo wasn't ready to give up her mother. She was physically gone, but certainly not spiritually from her mind and heart. She needed her mother now more than ever.

A/N: Sorry for the delay, I accidentally closed the tab I had been working on the chapter and lost half my work ; n; had to rewrite it! Anyway, enjoy, and hopefully I'll have a new chapter up sooner than a week!