Rose couldn't believe how well Alec seemed to be taking all this. She just hoped Pete and her mother would take the news she was splitting up with James just as well because she knew now she had to and that she had seen the Doctor in James and fallen for him because of it and she knew she didn't feel the same about Alec, not just because he was ill but because he was just the opposite of James and the Doctor.
Her mother had tried to make her take notice that she was using James and of course she hadn't wanted to listen but following James around the country? Surely that should have been a dead give-away? Using the excuse of wanting to be with him to the extent she went where he was filming until she had been prevented from doing so for only the second time and this time, James hadn't even protested. The first time, he hadn't known how the screen-test was going to go and nothing had ever come of it but this time, he had already been ear-marked for the role and he'd grabbed it without discussion or asking how she felt about him spending months on location for a relatively small part.
That should have been another sign but she had been too caught up in him and he'd promised to come home when he could but this time she'd had to ask him to come back even though he was probably sitting around doing nothing for hours on end, he was so intent on making it over there. Maybe this was a wake-up call for both of them.
Alec was waiting for her in his bedroom as Rose had an internal debate with herself in the bathroom, she just wished she had brought her phone in with her and dared to wake her mother but this late at night was not the right time to tell Jackie Tyler she was breaking up with her fiancé, she wasn't that brave. Alec was getting concerned Rose was taking so long. After he had asked her what he would do with two hearts and he'd settle for one that actually worked properly, they had kissed and he'd asked if she was going to join him or sleep on her own.
Rose had asked for time to think about it so he had got undressed to his t-shirt and shorts and gone to wait for her but that was almost fifteen minutes ago and he was trying to decide just to leave her or check on her. He heard the bathroom door going since he had left his room door open and listened for her footsteps, trying to determine which direction she was heading. Then she appeared in the doorway as she turned out the room light.
''Thought I was gonna back out?'' she asked as she told him to move over.
''No, I just thought maybe it was too much to hope for, that you'd join me voluntarily without me calling out at two in the morning.''
''Well if you do, I won't have far to go, will I? Seriously Alec, you have to let me help you get over it.''
''I can't Rose, I have to live with it, I don't think it will ever go away as such, just as you still see yourself falling into the gap between worlds, I still see Pippa in that river and I'm carrying her out. Sometimes I can feel myself getting dragged down by her weight and no-one is reaching out for me then I'm lying on a cliff top and water is pouring out of me. That's when I wake up gasping for breath. I know what wakes you up, no-one was there to stop you falling.''
''Yeah, sounds like we're both as bad as each other. The gap between worlds, it's call The Void, it contains nothing Alec, nothing but machines can survive in there but I never got to ask if anyone were to fall into it, if they would know where they were or not and sometimes it worries me because he had to watch me Alec, he had to watch me heading for the void and he was screaming my name, then Pete came back for me just as I was about to get pulled in and the look on the Doctor's face is one I can never forget.''
Alec leaned over and held her tightly. ''It's ok Rose, you don't have to talk about it if it's too painful. You're the only person I've ever shared my nightmare with and I suspect apart from your mother and stepfather, you've never shared that, not even with James, have you?''
Rose looked up at him. There was some light coming in from outside since he preferred to slant the blinds so light could filter in but no-one could see through if they were to bother, which now Ashworth had been for a visit, seemed highly likely he would try again to catch the couple out and get Alec to confess he wasn't really James Smith.
''I know the Doctor saw Pete rescuing me but it doesn't alter the facts. He must have known what was in there, besides five million or more Cybermen and another race called Daleks and please don't ask me about them, believe me, you don't want to know about them. I told you, he got a message to me, a hologram and I was able to talk to him for a few moments but after I told him I loved him, he faded away before he could reply. When I met James and he told me he loved me, I let myself believe I had found him again, that James was the Doctor but he isn't, I know that now.''
''Then forget about it and concentrate on this Rose. I'm here, I'm not the Doctor and I do love you.''
''Alec, I know why I couldn't tell James, I thought he already knew it all, that he'd just admit one day who he really was and he'd found his way back to me and wanted to live a normal life but I know that's never gonna happen and that was the reason I thought I loved him. It's you I love Alec because I've just told you about my past though you did guess some of it, James never asked me about anything, not like that and I used to wake up but he never woke with me.''
''Well if you wake again, I'm here and we'll help each other, ok?''
''Yeah. Can we just cuddle until I go to sleep? I really need it right now.''
''Oh Rose, I can do that, come here though if you take your vest top off, it would be much better.''
''Ok but you'd best take your t-shirt off then, if you want?''
''Do you trust me?''
''Yeah, I trust you.''
The next morning, neither of them having woken from their nightmares and having to face reality, Rose made some breakfast and went to call Pete first, telling him about the press and to prepare for yet another statement then said she was breaking things off with James when he got back.
''Well since you've been down there and the last few days, I'm not really surprised. When are you telling him?''
''He'll be here on Saturday at some point, I'll have to clear my stuff out and leave it in my old room for now, until I decide what to do. Most of my clothes I'll bring back to Broadchurch but the press are going to go crazy on this but I'm gonna go to the local paper and let them release it, I can't let the big papers get hold of it and I don't want your press department handling it either, I have to do this myself unless it gets out of hand. I should tell you I've got involved with Alec but we've done nothing about it yet, not until I end it properly with James.''
''Well your mother will be disappointed love but I think under the circumstances, you've done the right thing, it wouldn't be proper to do it on the phone with James though it's a long way for him to come back but he'll have more respect for you if you end it properly rather than dump him by phone.''
''It's the least I can do, it's not his fault, I know he wants to make something of himself over there and I don't blame him but it's not going to be the same once he does come back and I don't think I could cope. It might work for some showbiz couples but it's not me. I told him Dad, I told Alec my worst nightmare and he's still here.''
''You took my advice then and told the man you love? I had a feeling you would, since you could never bring yourself to tell James. He knows everything then?''
''He guessed most of it and there are a few minor details to fill in but yeah, he's accepted it but he has nightmares too, that's why he understands. We have a lot to do, I'm putting off another interview until I've seen James though I might go warn the newspaper editor I have a big juicy story and I offered to give a large donation if she played along that Alec was James, don't suppose you want to help me out with that do you? Only I promised Alec if he had to wait too long for his surgery that I'd pay for it, not that he likes the idea but I can appease him.''
''Just contact the accountants, on both, they'll deal with it. Now you'd best call your mother, she's already got this morning's paper, I'm surprised she didn't call you but she's learned not to believe everything and you did warn her.''
''There is just one more thing, I could do with a visit from Jake or Mickey, to take care of something to do with an old case of Alec's, someone has started bothering him.''
''Email me the details and I'll see what I can do but Alec might not like anyone interfering.''
''Leave that to me.''
Rose went to join Alec out on the decking, he had been trying to call the hospital number he had been given and been told they could fit him at four that afternoon to see the consultant so when Rose sat opposite him at the picnic table, she reached for his hand.
''Shall we go visit the newspaper office? I'll tell her I'm putting it off for now but I'll have a big story for her but to put it off until after the hearing, I don't want it getting over-shadowed by my problems. What do you think?''
''I can call her if you want? What are you planning today, besides taking me to the hospital at four?''
''That's good news Alec, well why don't we go over early and have a look around first? We'll park near the hospital and get there in time for lunch then you can get some t-shirts and things, I could do with a few bits and pieces until I go collect my things. You do know I'll have to leave on Friday afternoon?''
''Don't remind me but what if they can do my surgery? Will you still go?''
''If they do it on Friday, I won't leave until early on Saturday morning and I'll be back as soon as I can. You know I have to go and end it with James, so I can be with you, don't you? It's the only way Alec. I told Pete you knew about my nightmares, he wants to meet you but when all this dies down, my mother won't be pleased, I'm waiting for her to call me.''
Jackie did indeed call and didn't Rose know about it? She got away finally by saying as soon as Alec had the hearing over with, she would get to meet him. Jackie knew under no circumstances was she to say that both James and Alec looked like the Doctor but Rose suspected Alec knew though she hadn't actually admitted it to him but it was plain since she had said James had been mistaken for him and Alec was passing as James that it was quite obvious and he seemed to have taken it well, considering.
Alec had gone back inside and brought out some tea, sitting beside her with his legs stuck out. This is what Rose wanted, doing ordinary things like sit outside on the decking by the river and drink tea, talking about going for surgery and making real plans that didn't include what events they would be going to and what projects were coming up. Yes, Alec had yet to go back to work but she was sure he would as soon as he felt well enough and she wouldn't interfere with that, she would let him do that on his own merits, unless he asked for help if they really were going to have a relationship but until then, she had to keep her offers of help to a minimum and hope he'd get the operation on his own.
They found the department Alec had to attend. They'd had lunch and Alec had called the newspaper editor, saying they were putting it off and would come back with an even bigger story and the paper would be receiving a nice donation for their troubles once it was published but that wasn't to be until after Joe Miller's hearing, which Alec was relieved about but since he had got to know Rose, he wasn't surprised.
The consultant had been surprised to see Alec had been added to her list of patients to be seen that day and thought the woman with him looked vaguely familiar but was more concerned he had finally come to his senses so if some woman had dragged him kicking and screaming there, she wasn't going to object. It went better than either Rose or Alec could imagine, Rose didn't have to offer to pay, the consultant called admissions and it was arranged for him to go on Thursday afternoon at two.
''So will he have to stay in?'' Rose asked casually, hoping she could safely leave him on his own if she left Friday night but not really wanting to though.
''Well if he has someone with him, he can leave after the medical staff says he's ok to travel. You'll have some pain Alec but we'll give you something for it and you'll have to take it easy for a few days so don't be in a hurry to get back to work.''
''I don't have to go to work, I have a hearing to attend to on Monday morning, that's the only reason I'm doing this, well that and one other reason.''
Rose didn't quite know if the reason was her or finishing his old case, she just hoped it was her, since she had offered to help him with the case.
They went for a drink and something to eat when they got back to Broadchurch, Alec saying they had something to celebrate.
''Alec, you said you had two reasons, to go ahead with the surgery, the hearing was one. Was the other reason me or your old case?''
''Rose, I'm doing it for us, not just you because once you've come back, I want you to stay with me, will you?''
''Yeah, I just want to be normal again Alec, with you and talk about what you've been doing at work, where we'll go on holiday and where we'll live.''
''You want to move?'' he smiled.
''Well maybe not just yet but you've no idea how much stuff I'll be bringing back with me, you should see my wardrobe, it's bigger on the inside,'' she joked.
''I just bet it is Rose Tyler, little miss rich girl. I want you to know, I don't want you paying for everything and now you don't have to pay for my operation, don't think I'm letting you off the hook.''
''Oh I know you won't, DI Alec Hardy and you can get your own job back, I'm not helping you with that one.''
''Good because I can get my own job back thank you very much. What are going to do tomorrow?''
''Let's just go out for the day, up to Lyme Regis or somewhere and forget everything, yeah?''
TBC