After a nice day out, they prepared to go to the hospital the next day and had an early night. James hadn't called that night or Monday night, Rose wasn't expecting him to really. She supposed he could have pleaded with her to go over there but that wasn't practical and they both knew it. James knew what was awaiting him when he got to London, Rose would be packing or already cleared everything out of the apartment and would probably stay with her family or go back to that seaside town she had been staying in. He thought about the man who had been pretending to be him, was he the real reason Rose was leaving him? Should he try to persuade her not to leave?

He knew Rose, once she had made up her mind, there really wasn't anything that could stop her and that was what he had loved about her. He thought back to when they had first met, how he had somehow been drawn to her like a magnet and now it was becoming obvious. He hadn't been able to fool her. All the time he had been on his own, trying to get along on his own merits, becoming an actor and waiting for the time when Rose would finally notice him though he had made every attempt not to make it easy for her, she had to actually choose him. Now she was leaving him, for a look-alike but that was what he was after all.

Trust his twin's timing to be off somewhat, leaving him in 2005 and he had to live through the Cybermen, trying to stay out of the way but at least his background had been established for him before the other him had left. Fearing Rose would reject him, he had hidden himself away, became James Smith and very quickly began getting small parts in various things and becoming famous, even throwing in a couple of girlfriends for good measure though he'd never actually got physical with them, not until Rose had finally noticed him. Now he thought she was beginning to suspect who he really was.

His bug for travelling though had got the better of him but now, being stuck in the Nevada desert was not his idea of fun but something was going on there and it had intrigued him to the point when he'd got back from visiting Rose the last time, sure enough, things were starting to go wrong and he was determined to find out why. Sitting in the hot sun though wasn't quite what he had planned, wishing Rose was with him. He knew now he'd made a mistake in going on his own and now it was too late. She was taking up with a sickly detective who was pretending to be him and that was so like her and though he loved her, he knew she had to choose her own destiny.

He however had his destiny set out for him since he was left here all that time ago. The theory that Rose and the Doctor were meant to be together no matter what was never to be and she would never know it. She would never know he and his twin had decided whilst the walls of the universes had still been weak, this world never getting caught up in Davro's grand plan because it ran ahead of everywhere else and had escaped, that after his creation, he should go find Rose and give her the happy ending she had deserved but when he had found out she wasn't yet on this world, he'd had to let events take their course and not interfere until one day, the Cybermen disappeared and he knew she was here.

He had been happy when he knew of her arrival, her mother had got married to this Pete Tyler and Rose had been adopted, then he'd had to plan very carefully how to accidentally meet her and the rest was history. Their whirlwind romance was all over the media, they were followed everywhere and they had loved it, well he had, showing her off everywhere and making a big splash of their engagement and he, James Smith, finally having money instead of getting by using a sonic screwdriver and psychic paper.

Now it was over, he had to resign himself to letting her go, her promise of staying with him forever broken once again but since she didn't know it was really him and he could never tell her, she had to love him for who he was now, half human and half Timelord with one life and one heart, that had been full of love for her. If she discovered the truth, it would break her in two, she would be angry with him and angry with herself and he couldn't allow that.

ooooooooo{silversurfer60}ooooooooo

As Alec let Rose take the lead the night before his surgery, his only thought was of getting back to her after the operation, nothing else mattered to him, not his ex, Sandbrook, maybe his daughter mattered, she was showing signs she wanted to talk to him again but Rose, she had overtaken everything in his life in a very short space of time. From a few days ago of him reluctantly letting her lead him around masquerading as her fiancé and getting annoyed with her to her lying on him, kissing her way across his chest and making him feel wanted. That James Smith was a fool to go off and leave her like that but who was he kidding?

He was going to trust her to go off at the weekend and pack her stuff, break up with the man and come back to him, from a probably large apartment to living in a riverside chalet but she seemed to like it. He thought it must come from her humble beginnings before she had fame and money. He made his mind up while she was gone he would get a taxi up to the rental agency and find them a bigger place to live, it was the least he could do. Then he would call Miller, bring her in on his plan to sort out Claire and hope while Rose was away, Ashworth wouldn't pay him another visit. It would be all he needed fresh out of heart surgery.

Rose was calling his name, never saying she wanted more but he knew she did and she would have it when he was well and she was free. She had said she loved him but that was a sentence, she had not said the three words on their own and he didn't expect she could until she was sure she wouldn't feel guilty. After he thought she had finally fallen asleep, he lay awake thinking about the chances of the operation and the circumstances that had led him to meet Rose, then he realised this was meant to happen, him staying here and not leaving town until the hearing, managing on sick pay and the rent paid on his temporary home but now Claire was bugging him again, then Ashworth, would he still hold up to it all while she was away?

He just wished he could go with her but tomorrow, before he went for the pacemaker, he hoped she would be able to say she loved him.

They made their way back to the hospital and Alec was shown to a bed and told to prepare himself and the surgeon would come and talk to him and he would be prepared for the surgery. From what he could tell, there was very little ceremony about it, it was far too commonplace these days as opposed to how it used to be. Now patients were in and out in a matter of hours and he just hoped they knew what they were doing.

Rose was allowed to see him before the surgeon came in. He was sat up in bed, hooked up to a monitor and Rose tried to ignore it but was fascinated by the irregular pattern and wondered what it had actually been like all this time for him, living as he had been. She felt more sure now than she had ever been about James, Alec needed her to get him through this and if by some very slim chance he didn't make it, they'd had last night together and earlier that morning, both of them reassuring each other it wasn't going to be the last time they would be together even though they had stopped short of having proper sex, they had come close, Rose not wanting to risk making him worse and still feeling some guilt.

Alec took her hand. ''So, I'll see you when I wake up then? Don't worry Rose, I'm coming back to you.''

Rose smiled. ''Me and my friend Mickey once waited five and a half hours for the Doctor to come back.''

''Really? I hope I'm not out that long then. Rose, when I get out of here, will you tell me? Tell me everything you did before you came here, your old life back in London?''

She knew what he meant, her life with the Doctor, travelling and the things they had done together.

''That's gonna take some time Alec, sure you've got the time to spare?'' she teased, squeezing his hand.

He picked hers up and kissed the back of it. ''Follow me to the operating theatre and we can sneak another kiss before they wheel me in eh? When I come round, if I see you here, even though you can't say you love me properly, I'll know you do.''

''I do love you Alec, it's just difficult to actually say it how you want me to say it. When I come back from London, it won't matter, I'll be able to say it without feeling all this guilt and we can really be together.''

''I know Rose but I can say it. I love you darlin'''

Just over ninety minutes later, Rose was back on the same chair, holding his hand and waiting for him to wake up. She'd had plenty of time to think while she had alternated between pacing the corridor, getting a drink from the vending machine and calling Pete to tell him Alec was in surgery and asking him to tell her mother if this didn't work out, she was staying to see Alec got looked after properly and was going to make all the arrangements even after he told her he had a funeral plan with the police and to leave it to them, she was going to see they did it right and he got full honours and tell his ex wife and daughter how brave he was, opting for the operation.

All that was over now though. She had not been looking forward to facing Tess Hardy and telling her she had fallen in love with Alec because she had been using him as a decoy groom. At least she had been spared that and had called Pete back to say she was just waiting for him to wake up before she had been told she could go wait with him.

Pete had told Jackie that her daughter would be devastated if Alec didn't make it and he was preparing to have Jake on standby to go down with him and stay with her while all the arrangements were made since she was determined she was going to take charge but it hadn't come to that thankfully. Now Alec had survived, his next challenge would be to meet Jackie Tyler and for that, he needed to be in good health.

She felt him move and looked up, her chair was facing him so she wouldn't make her neck ache watching him and she smiled at him.

''So, I guess you want to hear all about my past travels then?''

''Why do you think I got through this Rose?'' he smiled.

''Oh I don't know, maybe for you to hear me say I love you?''

''I heard you, saying it to me as the anaesthetic took hold. You did, didn't you?''

''How did you hear me Alec? I only whispered it.''

''Because I already knew Rose, I know you love me.''

Rose had decided not to set off for London until the early evening on Friday night, after making sure Alec had everything he needed and she had got him to agree to let Ellie Miller call in on him at some point on Saturday, to which he'd only agreed because he wanted to ask her to keep an eye on Claire.

''Promise me Alec that if Ashworth comes back, you'll still pretend to be James? Don't go confronting him, at least until I get back?''

''Ok cookie, just for you but if he gets me going, I may just have to break my promise but I won't do it here, I'll make sure we're in a public place, does that make you happy?''

''I suppose I'll just have to trust you, won't I? Now snog me to death so I can get going. I'm gonna stay with my mum tonight and go pack in the morning, I should get everything in my car since most of it belongs to James or stuff we bought together. It's gonna be difficult but tonight I'll decide what to tell the press, I might just get Pete's PR team to handle it after all, it might be easier and James will get his agent to issue a statement.''

''You know I'll miss you while you're gone?''

''I know but it will be so much better when I get back, it will be more than worth it.''

TBC