23. Trip Down Memory Lane - Part 1
The soft yet flaming orange-pink color appeared on the sky and most of the kids around the camp were starting to prepare supper over the fire. Octavia gaze was focused on the gate entrance that lead to the forest where Clarke and Bellamy had disappeared into a few hours ago without explanation. Honestly, she was worried about them, but she was more worried about Clarke than her older brother at the moment due to Clarke's state of mind. Her friend had been extremely distraught back at the bridge and she didn't know the real reason behind it.
"Worried?" Lincoln said with a low voice. Octavia turned around to look at her boyfriend with a small smile, who had somehow been allowed to enter the camp although she had a distinct feeling that he was only allowed to be inside the camp as long as the kids kept a close eye on him. It didn't matter if he was a close friend to Clarke and good ally to them or not, since they simply didn't trust him or the other Grounders. However she didn't care about any of that as long as he was by her side nothing else seems to matter.
"Yeah, I mean, they have been gone for hours," Octavia replied softly. She took a seat on one of the logs and was accompanied by Lincoln almost immediately. "They should have been back by now."
Lincoln nodded with an expression of concern on his face, but remained calm and thoughtful. His hands was tangled inside one another and looked completely lost in thought until she asked carefully, "Lincoln, is something the matter?"
"No," He denied, but his expression didn't light up. "Don't worry, Clarke and your brother is fine. I assume they are taking so long is because they have some issues they need to talk about."
Issues? Octavia wondered to herself. If it were the normal discussions about the camp then they wouldn't be discussing it alone in the forest without telling anyone where they were. Could it be that they were out there to talk about their relationship?
The thought was warm and happy since she truly wanted the two of them to be happy, and apparently it seemed like being with each other did exactly that, so she was more than pleased that those two finally did something about what everyone else seemed to know about the atmosphere between the two co-leaders.
"I can only assume how hard it is for her right now," Lincoln said sadly. "The memories are bad enough, but for her to relive and explain it again…"
"Huh?" Octavia's eyebrow rose. "What are you talking about? Did something happen with Clarke?"
She was sincerely confused. Although she knew some things about Clarke's past back on the Ark, the blonde had been pretty locked about what had happened during her time on the ground before they all arrived. Of course, it didn't take a genius to figure out that something bad had happened, but what could have happened that was so secret and painful for Clarke that she needed to keep it locked inside?
"It may not come as a surprise to you," Lincoln said seriously. "Clarke wasn't always the strong girl she appears to be here nor does she appear to be the person she used to be back in the space station. She would never admit it out loud, but she was afraid and lonely when she first came down here."
Octavia's interest was peaked and waited for him to continue the story and asked curiously, "So what happened that made her change?"
Lincoln sighed heavily, like he was lifting heavy weights. His eyes were strong and serious, but they also seemed haunted like he reliving the memory.
"The first time Clarke encountered our people was the same day her friend and companion was killed."
"You remember what I told you about Wells's death?" Clarke said, not shifting or turning to face him. Instead her eyes was rested on the water that resembled nothing he had ever seen before outside the few books he managed to get a hold of during his upbringing.
Bellamy nodded silently and waited for her to continue her story.
"After Well's was killed, the Grounders brought me back to their village and held me captive there for what seemed like months," Clarke explained. "You see, the Grounders value life and is cautious about taking a life, at least if they aren't provoked, but they have also values about keeping their people safe from any treat. So they weren't exactly sure what to do with me at the time, so they held me prisoner inside the village. Only later on they allowed me to walk a little more freely once they learned about my healing abilities. Of course, they didn't trust me very much whenever I helped out, but they lived with it since I was escorted around and never had a moment for myself."
"And let me guess, your personal escort was that Grounder friend of yours," Bellamy said with a slight amused tone.
Clarke smirked as a response and nodded her head before she continued saying, "Yeah, our relationship began with him being my personal babysitter, making sure I didn't try to run or place a treat to his people, however over time we grew very close and despite all odds our relationship turned into that of two siblings.
Back on the Ark I used to wish that I had a sibling, didn't matter if it was an older or a younger sibling, just a sibling because then I wouldn't be so alone anymore. Silly thought, I know, considering the circumstances and compare it to what you and your family went through."
Bellamy was astonished how Clarke opened up and revealed something so personal she probably never once spoke out loud about despite her wish and desires to do so.
"You and the other kids might assume that because of my social status back on the Ark I was happy," Clarke said dejected. "But that's far from the truth. The golden world might seem shiny and beautiful, but it is in reality a sad and lonely world."
He never really thought of it like that before, but when he really thought about it he came to realize how true her words were. When he remembered back on his life on the Ark during the times he patrolled, never once had he seen or heard any rumors that Clarke or Wells hung out with people other than themselves. Originally he thought it was because they thought they were better than others, but was it possible it was more over the fact that they didn't have anyone else who would look past their social class and truly wanted to be friends with either of them?
"So what happened that lead to you joining this war Anya spoke of?" Bellamy asked.
The tension in the air grew even heavier now and Clarke leaned back with his arms supporting her from falling to the ground.
"After a couple of months living with the Grounders, the on-going treat with the Mountain Men had grown more serious and warriors from the village I resided in was called to join in the battle," Her voice was serious and at the brick of anger, but she kept it hidden as she continued her story. "Lincoln had been called upon joining the battle, so it was only natural that I came along too. Besides it wasn't like they wanted me around and be responsible for me either, not that I wanted them to, so it was worked out fine for both parts. Anyway the Grounders clans met up and prepared for what they were going to do in order to take down Mount Weather. It was during this meeting I for the first time met the Commander of the 12 Grounder Clans."
"Both you and Anya mentioned it before, but who is this Commander exactly and what is the relationship between the two of you?"
Clarke didn't answer the question and appeared as stoic as ever, however when he looked deeply into her eyes he saw the burning fire inside them. Clearly, something had happened with the Commander and it most likely ended up with Clarke being unforgiving and angry enough to shut this Commander out of her life. The question was what exactly had this person done in order to make the Princess all riled up?
She was debating it over and over in her mind what she exactly was going to tell him. Clarke didn't really want to get into details about her relationship with the Commander or Lexa. It was a memory from the past, didn't even last long enough to be anything, but it had hurt so much that it could last for centuries before she even would consider thinking about making amends with Lexa. No, hurt was the wrong word to describe what happened with Lexa. Destroyed was a better word for it, since her involvement with Lexa and the war had broken her and left her with just pieces to restore what was left of her heart and conscience. Any way it didn't really matter right now what her previous relationship with the Commander was, the most important thing was to explain her past with the Grounders and the war with the Mountain people, not her romantic problems with someone he most likely was never going to see or meet. So she wouldn't give him the finer details of the relationship, but would keep it to the truth as far as that went.
"The Commander is the most powerful Grounder you will ever face upon. That person is respected a great deal by her people and is reasonable and merciful, but that person is also far too different from yourself as she detach from people emotionally and view love as a weakness."
"She?" Bellamy looked surprised, obviously didn't think that the leader of all the Grounder clan was a woman, but he didn't state such as he waited on her explanation.
"Lexa," Clarke said bluntly. "Anyways back to the story, when I met Lexa I was surprised to see how willing she was to accept me despite my background being a Sky person. And as the strategy meeting went on we became close of sorts and we talked with each other at great ease. Then she came up with the perfect plan in order to defeat the Mountain Men."
Bellamy tilted his head slightly to the left in questionable manner, wondering what exactly this Grounder leader had decided to do.
"What exactly did she decide to do?" Bellamy asked carefully. He must have noticed how tense she suddenly became and didn't want to aggravate her more. Clarke was starting to feel exhausted. The mere thought of what resulted with her own stupidity and Lexa's plan brought angry flames, but she needed to get it out in the open.
"She came up with the idea of someone infiltrating the mountain from the inside, someone who could work as an informant and get back with their plans," Clarke said with a dead serious tone. "It was a great plan, no doubt about it, but it wasn't exactly doable due to the fact that the enemy already recognized most of the Grounders and wouldn't be so gullible to let them inside without hurting them."
Clarke stopped for a second to take a breath before her tone switch to angry sarcasm and said, "So with no one to go the plan was about to shatter before it was even executed, so stupid as I was I volunteered to be the inside-man or inside-woman in this case."
Bellamy's eyes grew big and croaked out a shocked, "What?"
"You heard me," Clarke huffed. Her gaze was turned away from him. "I volunteered to be the inside-man…"
She was planning on continuing the sentence, but was loudly interrupted by Bellamy, who was looking like he wanted to kill her.
"You can't be serious," Bellamy exclaimed. "Do you know how stupid and dangerous that was? You could have gotten yourself killed!"
Her eyes became dark by his accusation. He had no right to yell at her like that. She knew far too well how stupid and dangerous it was and he wasn't aware how close she had been to death, so he should be lecturing her over a mistake she regretted with all her heart.
"Yes, I'm very aware of that fact, Blake!" Clarke yelled. "I don't need to be told about that fact."
This time she was glaring at him and he glared at her with the same angry intensity. How in the world had the moment shifted from her explaining her past into a screaming match between them? And she wasn't even halfway through her story yet.
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Thanks again for the amazing response I have been receiving from all of you. Okay, first some not so fun news. My next and finally exam is on Wednesday, so I wouldn't be able to update this story before Thursday. So please be understanding and patient in the meantime.
I decided to split the whole Clarke's past to at least two parts, because I wouldn't have the time to write that long. So I hope you guys like it.
Please continue giving me reviews, favorite and followings. And the next chapter will come as soon as I'm done with my exam.
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