27. A Made Decision, Another Problem
Clarke felt like she was drowning. All her worries and problems were pulling her down in attempt to drown her and make her unable to breathe. While trying to wrap around what she was supposed to do about the Grounders and the war, her latest problems had shifted towards the fact that the Ark was coming down, but it wasn't the Ark itself that concerned her. It was rather her mother she was going to have to meet face to face after a year of no contact between each other that concerned her. She tried to talk with her mother, she really did whenever she radioed the Ark, but she was unable to forgive and forget what she had done to her and her father. The betrayal was still to fresh and hurtful for her to ignore and pretend nothing had happened, but it wasn't only her mother's betrayal that made the bridge between mother and daughter unreachable. No, it was the fact that they both had changed so much during the year apart that they had great difficulty to get along and agree on something, whether it was regarding the 100 or it was regarding a personal matter. Their relationship was too strained at this moment and she was sure that it was going to become even more strained once her mother learned about her and Bellamy's relationship.
It was no surprise to her that her mother couldn't stand Bellamy and she had several reasons to be doubtful and overly concerned about his involvement at all. Even if he were pardoned for his crimes, her mother would always see the man who shot Chancellor Jaha, the one who had kept his sister's existence a secret from the Ark for sixteen years before she was discovered, and the one who was in charge of the kids on the ground and had more influence than she or the other council members liked him to have.
Anyways she was lying in Bellamy's tent, unable to sleep due to her overworking mind and was simply staring into thin space. Bellamy had fallen asleep a while ago and was breathing with an even and almost relaxed tempo. She turned to look at him in attempt to forget her problems. His eyes were closed and his hair was even messier and curlier than it was during the day, but it made him appear younger and more innocent than he really was. Careful about not waking him up, she slowly moved one of the loose curls away from his face and simply got lost in his appearance. What had she done to deserve such a wonderful man by her side? Clarke wasn't sure, but she didn't care either way since she was simply too thankful and too happy to give a damn. Bellamy had his faults, but even with those faults it didn't ruin her image of him the slightest. He was incredible in every way, even when he annoyed the crap out of her and challenged her like no one else he was one of the greatest people she had ever met. And she was never going to regret meeting him, even if something were to happened to either one of them, she was grateful for meeting Bellamy Blake and truly showed her the importance of what love is.
"You are so beautiful," Clarke whispered absentminded. "I'm happy being with you, and I hope that will never change."
She wasn't sure at first if he had heard her or not, because once those words were out in the open he smiled a warm smile, but still didn't open his eyes and his breathing didn't change either. So he was still most likely asleep, but his unconscious mind must have heard her and was truly happy to hear her say that regardless if he was awake or not. She smiled by the fact and closed her eyes, trying once again to fall asleep. The difference this time was that her mind weren't filled with her worry and problems, instead it was filled with the warmth she felt every time she thought about Bellamy or was close to him. And slowly the darkness surrounded her, but she wasn't afraid of it because she knew that Bellamy was always by her side to fight away her fears and nightmares.
The next morning they continued their work like always, however Bellamy was more or less worried about Clarke, who was still concerned as well as unsure what to do about the situation. He had never once seen her so insecure about what was the right thing to do and how they were supposed to handle it. Clarke wanted to do the right thing, but what exactly was the right thing to do when it came to the issues at hand? He didn't want to help or participate in the war against the Mountain Men for the Grounders sake, it was their own problem and they shouldn't have to be dragged into something that was nothing of their concern, but that wasn't what was Clarke's problem. It was rather the fact that she didn't want to make decisions that went against everything she believed in. However who they are and who they have to be are two different things and was irrelevant in the matter of survival.
And he told her that when he came to check up on her at the medical bay. She stared at him for a moment before she sighed deeply and said, "Yeah, you are right. I need to make a decision, not wasting time thinking what-if because either way I need to make it and live with what I have decided."
He nodded his head and took short strides to her side before he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She laid her right her right hand over his and they both felt this empowerment by feeling each other close.
"It is not easy to be in charge, is it?" Bellamy said tiredly, knowing that she would truly understand the meaning behind his words.
"No, it isn't," Clarke said bluntly and turned around to look at him. "Which is why I have decided to not accept the peace treaty conditions hence not participating in the war."
His eyes dilated in shock. He had not expected her to make the decision so quickly and right out of the blue, because honestly she was the person who thought things through while he jumped on it and asked questions later.
"Are you sure?" Bellamy said surprised. "I mean, this is such a huge decision. Wouldn't you want more time to think it through?"
"No, I have been thinking enough about this," Clarke shook her head. "My main priority is to do what is best for our people and keep them safe and alive. Joining the war would lead to exact opposite of that. They are only kids who has enough to worry about, getting themselves involved in a war they had no part on in the first place would be cruel to expect from them. And besides I don't want them to go through the traumatic events I had to go through being in the war as well being inside that damn mountain."
Bellamy understood her assessment, and was frankly glad that she had decided to put her people above the Grounders and some peace treaty, but he could also understand that her decision had been hard on her. She was an idealist and believed in sparing lives, but her decision went her own beliefs and she did it for the sake of the people she loved and cared about instead out of a possible debt she had to the Grounders, who had spared her life in the beginning.
"I just want to make sure you are certain with your decision and that you are ready to live it despite the consequences that might occur because of it," Bellamy whispered. Then he began playing with her blonde locks and making small braids in her hair, like he used to do with Octavia when they were younger. Whenever she had been upset about having to hide or anything else, playing with her always calmed her down somehow and he had eventually become quite good at making braids. And he was thankful that it seemed to be working on Clarke as well.
"I know," Clarke replied reassuringly. "But I'm certain about my decision. So don't worry about me."
"I will always worry about you," Bellamy said quickly. "I worry because I care about you. That isn't going to change. Just ask Octavia if you have any doubts, I'm sure she will tell you how overprotective and possessive I am."
"Oh, believe she told me, she told me all about it," Clarke said with a lighter, almost joking tone. "We have had our talk about you and your overprotective tendencies."
"You make it sound like it is a bad thing," Bellamy replied sort of hurt, but not hurt enough that he thought that she was seriously disliking that side of him.
"It isn't a bad thing," She said with a small grin on her face. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and slightly pulling him down to look at her. "At least until you start being too protective and drive me insane because of it."
"I'm protective towards the ones I love and care about," Bellamy pointed out, starting to grow a little annoyed by this silly argument. "I'm willing to do anything to keep them safe and alive, even if that person will find my methods overbearing and annoying to handle."
Clarke only shrugged her shoulders and sighed deeply, figuring out that it was useless trying to argue about this. So instead she stepped on her toes and kissed him gently on the lips, something he responded to immediately and kissed her back with the same gentleness. They kept on kissing for a while until he pulled away since he was needed to help the hunting party and Clarke had patients to deal with. So he left the medical bay quietly with this huge grin on his face, while she waved her hand for moment before she turned her back on him and went back to work.
Lexa was riding her horse in silence while her entourage was taking cautious looks at her once in a while, wondering what was going on with their great leader. It was unlike her to drop everything while the battle with the Mountain Men was still on going and she was needed to lead her people. What could be possibly be so important about the Sky-girl and her people that their Commander was in need of their help?
Anya couldn't understand it either. Sure, Clarke had her people and they could really use more people in their battle, but they still had some useable warriors left. So they really didn't need their help. Other than people and more modern weapons, what other use did they have of them anyway?
Anya found the courage to ask Lexa, once she was tired by wondering what was going on in Lexa's mind to make her make such a rash decision out of the blue. Lexa didn't answer her at first, simply staring on the road ahead before she mumbled quietly, "Because it is Clarke, that's why. And besides I owe it to her for saving us the last time, even though she most likely wouldn't want to hear my thanks."
And without anything else to say, Lexa sped up the pace and her horse began galloping towards the Sky People camp. Leaving Anya and the others behind with more questions than before, because due to her words it sounded like it was something more going on with Lexa. However they figured they would find out the truth soon enough, so they quickened the pace of their horses and followed after Lexa.
"Are you sure about this?" Clarke said with a low voice. She had been in the medical bay and had just finished patching up one injured kid when Octavia came and informed her that Lincoln wanted to talk with her. Finding it odd that Lincoln had not come to retrieve her himself, she left the medical bay and ventured into the woods where she knew he would be. The other kids still didn't trust him fully, so maybe that was the reason why he asked to see her outside the camp, but she quickly learned it was a whole other reason for his discretion.
"Yes, I just received the news," Lincoln said quietly. "She is coming and she will soon be here at your camp."
"But, I have already decided not to help," Clarke shook her head. "Why would she come her to see us personally?"
"I don't know," Lincoln shrugged his shoulders. "All I know is that Lexa is going to be here soon, and she is definitely going to want to see you."
Clarke clenched her teeth together and sneered over the recent development. How was it that every time she solved one problem, another one problem just shows up out of the blue and makes the whole situation more complicated?
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Thanks again for the amazing response. I should have released a chapter yesterday, but I spent most of the day catching up with one of my close friends, who I have been to busy to see these last couple of months. And when I got home I was too tired and unmotivated to write the chapter, but I got to it today so hope you guys like it.
Please continue giving me reviews, favorite and/or followings, and the next installment will be out as soon as its done.
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