Beta-ed by: TheRimmerConnection

"What's two plus two?"

"Four."

Hamish couldn't believe that Mum and Dad would make him stay with Anderson while they went inside Uncle Greg's office to debrief him on their latest findings. Donovan deemed the case too confidential for Hamish to sit in on it. She had sent him out to "play" with Anderson for the time being.

"What colour is the grass?"

Hamish rolled his eyes and continued to pace back and forth, not wanting to sit and be comfortable around this inhuman specimen.

"Depends."

Anderson looked confused, "On what?"

"Its condition," Hamish replied, "If it is healthy, it's green. If unhealthy, yellow. If there is drought, brown. If it was burned for farming purposes or whatever reason, black."

"Oh." Anderson looked uncomfortable "Let's stick with green, shall we?"

Hamish sighed and remembered what Mum told him: "People expect you to say what the majority thinks is right."

"What year are you in, Hamish?"

"Nursery."

"Did they teach you how to subtract yet?"

Hamish shook his head.

Anderson smiled. Finally he could teach Hamish something that he would most definitely need in the future. Sherlock could thank him for it later.

"It's quite easy actually. You just have to take away-"

At this point Hamish was getting fed up with Anderson and decided to tune him out. Mum said that it was not polite, but Dad said otherwise.

"Let's start with something easy, okay?" Anderson said "Three minus two?"

"One." He would love not to answer him, but that would be rude. Mummy said so.

This went on for another minute, and Hamish was getting more irritated by the second. Couldn't Anderson take the hint from Hamish's one-word answers that he didn't want to talk?

Time to pull out the big guns. He tried to play the child-throwing-a-tantrum card to make him stop. Seriously, another minute with Anderson and he would definitely combust.

Hamish wobbled his lower lip, "Where's Mummy and Daddy?"

Anderson started to panic, "They're still not done talking with your Uncle Greg, but they should be out any minute now."

"But I want them out now!" Hamish stomped his foot.

A few co-workers glanced at Anderson and shrugged at him when he glanced their way. Not one of them knew how to handle an upset Holmes boy.

"If we just wait for-"

"Now!"

Then Hamish went in for the kill.

"I want Mummy and Daddy out now!" He willed his eyes to produce tears, which they did, and kept stomping his foot to emphasize his irritation.

He started to sniff and hiccup, which made Anderson panic even more. Mummy would be so proud of his acting skills.

The staff at the Yard stopped what they were doing and watched to see how Anderson would handle the situation and figure out how to make the young Holmes stop crying; because they certainly couldn't interrupt the meeting.

"Okay, I'll go and see if they're done." Anderson tried to calm him.

He saw Sally Donovan exiting the room.

"Sally!" he called, "Are they done yet?"

"No, not yet. Why?"

"Could you watch Hamish for me?"

~o~

"So what are you saying?" Lestrade asked "That it was all a practical joke?"

"Sir," Anderson interrupted, having entered the room.

"We're in the middle of-"

"Sir, Hamish is throwing a fit. He wants his parents out now."

"What's the matter, Anderson?" Sherlock snorts, "Can't handle a five-year-old?"

"Anderson, please tell Hamish that we'll be out in five minutes." Irene smiled sweetly at him.

"Nooooow! Mummeeeh!" To Irene and Sherlock's ears, it was clear that Hamish was just acting but to everyone else...

"Oh dear," Lestrade looked as terrified as Anderson "Let's finish this tomorrow-"

"No," Sherlock said, "Let him cry for the time being. It's a good work-out for his lungs."

Hamish's wails could be heard in the background, and Sherlock saw Lestrade flinch.

"I'll go and talk to him." Irene said as she got up to leave.

~o~

"Shh, Hamish," Sally tried to coo the boy "Would you like me to get you some sweets?"

"Mummy!" And the crocodile tears kept pouring out.

"Hamish." Sally and Hamish saw Irene gracefully walking towards them.

"Mummy." Hamish's bottom lip wobbled as Mummy got closer.

'Yes!' he thought internally.

"Thank you for taking care of him, Sally." Irene nodded at her. Superficially it looked as though it was a gesture of thanks, but with Irene Adler's stance it looked more like it was a signal for Sally to leave.

"Anytime," Sally smiled awkwardly and left to process some files.

"Hamish," Irene knelt in front of the boy so that they were at the same height, "I know you don't like being with Anderson for that long, but your father and I really had an important meeting with Uncle Greg and you, of all people, should know that we shouldn't be disturbed."

"But Anderson thinks I'm stupid," he countered.

Irene wiped away the false tears, "He doesn't know, Sweetie."

"Why can't I go in with you and Daddy?"

"We have already talked about this," Irene said.

Hamish's bottom lip wobbled again, but this time he wasn't faking it.

"I won't tell anyone what you talked about," he said in a small voice.

"I know you wouldn't, Sweetie. But the meeting is for adults only. Children are not allowed inside. Although you may have an intellect far more advanced than a normal adult, you're still considered a child." Irene reasoned with him, "And by the way, I really like how well you can act.

Hamish tried to wipe his tears away with his arm as inconspicuously as he could so his mum wouldn't notice that he actually was crying.

Irene's eyes softened.

"Sweetheart," she cooed.

"What on earth has Anderson done now?" Sherlock said as he exited Lestrade's office.

"What do you mean-" Anderson was immediately silenced when three pairs of eyes stared him down.

"I just wanted to be in the meeting," Hamish said while looking down.

"Well I don't blame you," Sherlock said, "I would also weep if I were forced to spend more than fifteen minutes with Anderson. Will you be okay spending time with John, while your mother and I try to sort things out with Lestrade?"

Hamish's face lit up when he heard Uncle John's name.

Irene smiled at her son's change of attitude; she smoothed Hamish's hair while Sherlock contacted John.

Scotland Yard. Come at once if convenient. SH

Sherlock scrunched his nose, noticing his error.

If inconvenient, come anyway. SH