Chapter 17

"I know you're really mad," Luke ventured.

Mara slowly looked up from the pilot's console on the bridge of Incident Alley and turned towards Luke. At least he'd waited until they made hyperspace on their way to rescue Ghent. "Picked up on that did you?"

Faughn snickered from the passenger bench in the back of the bridge. Her hands were still bound, but she was otherwise unrestrained. The binders were just for show anyway, Faughn had nowhere to go. Mara would have to take them off soon; she would need all the help she could get once they found Ghent. Especially since the rest of her crew was currently on the Starry Ice. But for now Mara was content to continue the mild annoyance the binders gave Faughn.

Luke continued. "I'm sorry I had to do what I did, but I was afraid—"

"You had to do what you did?" Mara cut in. "My actions, whether you like them or not, are none of your concern."

"When there are lives at stake, it is always my concern."

"Remind me again—who died and made you divine arbiter of all justice in the galaxy?"

Luke stood up and took a step toward Mara. His eyes narrowed and he stared hard at her as he spoke. "As a Jedi I am obliged to intervene if I can prevent bloodshed." He took a breath and added, "I suppose that's probably a difficult concept for someone who's never cared about another person for a moment of her life."

Mara had been trying to control her temper up to this point, but now she longer cared. If Luke wanted to have it out, they were going to have it out. "And how's this Jedi obligation nonsense working out for you? Aside from the dead wife and a son you don't even know?"

She braced herself for a scathing retort. But it never came.

For several moments Luke was silent. Mara had probably crossed a line with that last comment. When Luke finally replied, he'd dropped his gaze to the floor and his voice was quiet. "Just because you know exactly where it hurts the most, do you always have to go there?"

"You push my buttons, I push yours back. That's the way this relationship works," Mara replied. Her voice was subdued, her tone matter-of fact.

Luke nodded. "You're right." He sank against the console and after a moment he looked up at Mara. "But is that the way it has to be?"

Mara's check twitched. Sith, she hated to apologize. She took a deep breath, but hadn't quite found the words before Luke spoke again.

"Never mind," he growled. "Someday I'll learn to just stop trying with you."

Mara swallowed her apology. "You lost interest in me fifteen years ago."

"Me? Lose interest in you? You made it pretty clear you didn't want anything to do with me. I finally took the hint and let you go. And never heard from you again"

Mara stared hard at Luke. Her instinct was to deny any responsibility, to turn the accusation back on him. It would be easy, natural, to tell him it was his fault, to make him feel bad for their fractured relationship. But then again, it wasn't like she had any pride left to lose at this point. Why not just tell the truth?

"I never thought you would give up on me," Mara said quietly into the growing silence. Luke narrowed his eyes but Mara continued before he could interrupt. "I don't blame you. I would have done the same. Stang, I would have given up on me the first time I bolted from your academy. But you didn't. You

kept inviting me back, kept telling me I could be Jedi. I'd tell you I wasn't interested and a few months later you'd be back again, like I hadn't already rejected you a hundred times. It was annoying as hell." Mara tried to summon a smile, or at least a softening of her features. She couldn't, so she pressed on.

"But I got used to it. To you. Always being there. And it was sorta nice, having someone with so much blind faith in me. Then Nirauna happened and I finally found a way to push you away for good."

"Mara, I . . ." Luke began, then stopped. "Do you really believe that?" His voice was filled with the earnestness only a farmboy could muster. Mara gave a vague sort of nod and turned her face away from him.

"You had Callista. You had a million other things going on. I was stupid to think you might have time for a lost cause like me."

"But, Corran . . ." Luke trailed off.

Mara could sense his mind churning, trying to fit together pieces that didn't match. "What does Corran have to do with this?" Mara couldn't help but snarl the name, just a little.

"He says he's been all but begging you to join us and you won't give him the time of day."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't going to go anywhere for Corran."

Luke placed a gentle hand on Mara's shoulder and pulled her around to face him. The obvious question was on his lips, she could read it in his eyes: What if I had asked? Would you have come for me?

Yet somehow, miraculously, he didn't ask it. "I never gave up on you Mara." Luke must have mistaken her relief for skepticism because he continued, "Corran kept telling me it was no use, you just weren't interested. I told him to keep trying. And trying. So you would always know you had a place among the Jedi. I didn't approach you because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I knew it was my fault things were weird between us. I never stopped believing in you, not for a second."

Mara's eyes flicked to Faughn, who had been sitting quietly by throughout the conversation. Mara wanted to believe Luke, but she couldn't. He may have intended to tell her the truth, he may even have believed his own words. But the fact was a few hours ago he'd knocked her unconscious rather than let her deal with her own problems her own way. "I'm happy to hear that," Mara lied. Luke was still recovering from the loss of Callista and a million other things. He didn't need to worry about trivialities like Mara's hurt feelings. "I need to check on the engines," she said, dismissing herself from the bridge.

Luke stared blankly after Mara. He knew that wasn't the proper end to the conversation.

He turned to Faughn. " ' A son you don't even know.' What did she mean by that?"

Faughn held her hands out in front of her and looked away. "I am not getting in the middle of this." She bolted for the doorway before Luke could stop her.

Luke scowled as a memory bubbled to the surface. Many years ago, he had asked his nephew Jacen to train Benji. Jacen had flatly refused. So then Luke ordered Kyp Durron to train him. Kyp too refused.

"Please, Master. Try to understand. I don't want Benji to get hurt."

"I don't want him to be hurt either; that's why I need you to train him, to teach him the ways of the Force."

Kyp had shaken his head slowly in response. "You still don't see it, do you?"

"No, I don't see why my oldest student would refuse what I ask of him! If you can't follow my orders, I may have to rethink your position within the Order."

There was pain in Kyp's eyes when he replied, "Very well." But there was a seething frustration when he turned and muttered under his breath, "It must be hell not knowing your own son."

How could Kyp and Mara, two people who had never in their natural lives agreed on anything, turn the same damning accusation on him?