Sorry..I am having writers block with this, but I am not forgetting it. School also started and I am distracted with many things...I can never focus.
New summery: Kyle died. Simple as that. Sure he missed Rhea, but he could not really go and see her again now can her? Especially not after being reborn into a different world. The universe is mixed up and right now, he could care less. He is a girl now, there is magic, and WW2 is happening. The worst of it all is that right in the middle- is him.
Emil did not want to think about the camp. She did not want to think back for even a minute. If she did not live in the present, then she might join some of the other girls that voluntarily got shot. She learned what the horrible smell was when she first arrived at the camp, but she did not want to talk about it. Just barely touching the memory of it made her want to throw up and remain in the void. All she wanted to do was keep standing straight in her roll call line, and not think about anything that was going to happen or had happened. She had lost track of time, and did not want to try and chase it anymore.
After roll call, the bodies that were lying around were taken away. What was new today, was that the guards were going to let them take a shower for the first time. Usually they went to breakfast after role call; it was really not that much of a meal, but it was something. Emil refused to grow anything herself with so many around her and after what happened last time she was caught making life. She needed to stop thinking, Frau Ann was walking beside Emil to the shower slowly. They both were skeletons by this point, though they were more fat than most of those alongside them. Frau Ann was all that kept Emil from joining the girls that gave up. She kept her mind occupied from dangerous thoughts, horrible hunger, and painful days. Emil would not last in the camp without Frau Ann.
As she walked on with many others, they finally reached what was assumed to be the shower. Emil clung onto Frau Ann as they were shoved into the changing area and told to take everything off. Emil did not waste any time and did as they said, not wanting to face any punishment. They were then told to go into the showering area, everyone at once. It was cramped and reminded Emil of the train ride to the camp so long ago, before she shut it out. There was no airflow in the room. No window or anything really. Emil suddenly felt something cold settle into her stomach as everyone was crammed into the room, leaving her feeling slightly claustrophobic. It was not long before the only door that lead into the room was closed and sealed. She was feeling nauseated and frozen over as she saw heard the door shut tight, and the quiet voices of those around her echo in the room.
It was not long before there was no light in the chamber. People started to get tense. Within minutes Emil started to feel something creep into her lungs, taking away her oxygen and strangling her. Before to long, people started to struggle and push others out of the way to head to where they knew was the door. The weaker, younger, and older were all shoved to the floor in the haste of others. There was people shouting and crying, snapping, bodies thrown out of the way. Someone had pushed Emil to the floor, and Frau Ann was the last thing on her mind. She felt people crawl over her to get their way to the only exit. She was going to die. She was bloodied and could not breathe.
"Hilfe!"
"Öffnen Sie diese Tür!"
There was so much happening. They were all going to die. Emil did not want to die though, and the life-creatures that were always around her were screaming at her to get out. There was so much noise that it was hard to think anymore. There was a passing thought of feeling like she had been suffocated before, but that left as she went into deep seeded panic. She did not have long to live, but she needed to. She had to. She was seconds away from dying, from blood loss, broken bones, and no oxygen before she cried and strongly wished and pulled at anything to make it stop and to get her out of there. Before she knew what was going on, there was a loud crack and then there was air and light all around her. She breathed and breathed, crying all the while loudly. Her body was shaking and did not look like it was going to stop anytime soon. It was too much. It was all too much. With an exhausted breathe, Emil became unconscious.
"Wir haben Glück. To find another Magie so soon. Holen Sie ihm, dass seine Anwesenheit wird innerhalb eines Monats erforderlich." It was so hard to focus on the Deutsch being spoken. Her lungs and throat hurt. Her head was pounding and her limbs were killing her. Her mind was blank from the pain and refused to start up again. What was happening?
"Jawohl!" Her eyes refused to open, but she did not really want to open them in the first place. She finally gave up and decided to go deep within herself. To her core. It still felt fractured and pained at times, but she was getting over it. She was getting better. She could feel that a large piece was missing, she would never forget, but she was getting used to it. She wrapped herself around her core. She could not feel the pain from her body here. It was a relief to get away from all of the confusion and pain.
She did not know how long she stayed like that, content. Time was long deemed unimportant, but she knew that she could not stay like this for much longer. It was almost impossible to convince herself to leave, though. It was a long time before she could, and when she did leave she almost went right back. Pain was what met her, dull pain all over her body. She quietly opened her eyes to look out into a dimly lit room. She seemed to be on an old bed, but it was better than before…
What happened before? She started to think, twisting her face into concentration. She was somewhere dark and...and...She was Emil. She had been taken to a 'shower' with the rest of her group. Frau Ann. What happened to her? Emil started to shake. Water pooled into her eyes as they widened, before slipping down the side of her face.
"Nein, bitte," she barely spoke out as her throat clenched up painfully. She was frozen in her spot, not willing to move or make it real. Those 'showers' were not meant to wash people. They were...Emil let a choked sob escape her. She felt the wrongness that had been plaguing her since she was forced away from Tante, weigh down on her chest heavily. She forgot to breathe, refused to breathe. It was so much, so so much.
'Emil! Emil! Calm down.' Who was that? What was happening? 'Emil! It is me, Fa. Des is here as well.' Fa? Des? There were creatures floating and swimming around her, two in particular were near her face. What?
'You're fine, Emil.' But Frau Ann was not, and neither were anyone else. Bodies were burning, being gassed, starved, worked, so many things were happening. It was so wrong. It hurt her core; it weighed down on her, pushing her so far beneath. This was so wrong. So wrong. So wrong. Too wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
'Emil! Come on, come back to us. Focus on me. Focus, come on. I know you can do it.' There was that voice again. It was from… Who was it from? She started to hyperventilate. She knew who it was from! Why could she not remember!
'Emil. You need to calm down. Do not worry about anything but my voice. Focus on my voice.' That voice. Just the voice. Nothing else, but the voice. Emil's breathing started to calm down. Her mind blanked, but tears continued to fall down. Just stay calm. Do not think.
'There you go. Easy breathes. Just focus on what I am saying.' Emil opened her eyes after blinking out some of the tears and looked at the glowing thing that was floating around her. It was calming and familiar. 'Focus on me.' It was talking to her. It was safe and familiar. Emil started to calm down to only sniffle and slight shivering. She pushed back the feeling of wrongness.
'That's it! Keep doing what you are doing, Emil!' F...a? It was Fa...or Des, but she knew it. Slowly she allowed herself to think about what had happened. She had been in a 'shower'. She had been suffocating and slowly dieing with many others. She did something. She got out. She lived. Emil did not let herself think of anything else but those facts. What was happening? Had she been dreaming that she was in the 'shower'? Was it another hallucination? It had been a while since she had had a hallucination like that before. Was Frau Ann just apart of it or was she real and still alive?
"War es wirklich?" Emil forgot for a minute what she was saying, she was just staring detachedly at one of the walls in what seemed to be a small room. Creatures were floating all around the room, and it took her a minute to remember that they were the life-creatures. Her constant companions. They were not hallucinations. Were they? No, they were not. Her mind struggled for a while to convince herself that all of it was not another hallucination. It was not. Everything was real. The only question was, what was not? It did not make sense to her, but it did. She just barely made it out of her mind. Her breathing was harsh and her eyes were unfocused. It was a long time before she responded to Fa and Des; she was just having a hard time pulling herself out of her mind. She did not want to get out of it, but she had to.
"Was-" Emil swallowed, trying to wet her dry throat. "Where am I?" Des looked relieved to see that she could speak now, even sighing. Fa seemed to purr a little as it twirled near her head.
'You were taken.' Emil frowned her brows lightly at nothing.
"What do you mean, exactly?" Her throat hurt and the dryness made it hard to take, but Emil still did it anyway. She watched Fa as her eyes seemed to go a little distant.
'You had somehow gotten out of the shower trap and were taken by some men to a facility. They put you into this room before talking and going off. We have not seen them for a while. Maybe a week, but a woman comes in to feed you water and a broth once every two days it seems.' Emil remained quiet. Her mind was blank and her throat hurt as it clenched. Her eyes remained on Fa, distant and becoming more wet as time passed on.
"Bitte…" Her voice was cracked and barely heard. Her vision blurred before tears leaked down the side of her face. She Forcibly kept herself out of her own mind. She could not go back in...but it was hard. She wanted to scream. Shout. Disappear. Be nothing…
'Emil...Please stay with us.' Fa came close to her face while Des lazily floated a foot above her. She could not stop the tears from flowing, but she could force herself to stay out of her mind.
"I...am. I'm not..going back...in." Emil evened out her breathing as she continued to watch Fa and Des. It was not long before she fell back asleep from all the stress, anyway. Des and Fa left her like that, with them circling above her in protection.