Chpt 2: The Maiden Tames The Beast

"Oi Erwin!" Levi stormed into his office and slammed the door shut.

"… And I look forward to seeing you next Thursday." The handsome man hung up.

Erwin turned his attention to Levi. "Just how do you manage to not wreck the doors? Do you have some kind of special skill? Because the last time someone tried slamming that door, he got fired within the next five seconds."

"Don't try to change the topic before I even start. Why the fuck is that shit head still in my office? He even had a mug of that shitty coffee readied on my table." Levi slammed his tiny paws hands onto the table, face shoved an inch too close for Erwin's liking.

Before Erwin could say haven't you heard of personal space, another handsome man burst into his spacious office.

"What's this? Why wasn't I invited to this gathering?" Roy made himself at home, plopping down onto the plush couches in front of Erwin's desk and propping his feet up onto the coffee table, hands folded behind his head.

"Firstly, shoes off. Secondly, this isn't a gathering. Levi showed up abruptly, almost destroying my door in the process. Thirdly, why are you here? Are you trying to escape paperwork again?" Erwin stared at him pointedly.

"Can't I take a well-deserved break? I just spent the past five hours haggl.. I mean, negotiating with the other party." Roy sighed, sinking further into the sofa.

"Really? I can't wait for Hawkeye to show up and bust your ass out." Levi smirked.

Speak of the devil. Hawkeye walked pass in all her glory; pressed navy business suit, polished heels, hair neatly clipped, and her signature expression. Roy was trying his best to be one with the couch, praying with all his luck hoping Riza doesn't see him slacking off in Erwin's office.

.

.

Riza walked in.

Fuck.

"Sorry for barging in, Smith. But I believe Mustang needs to attend to his paperwork rather than trying to sneak away from me. Again." Riza eyed Roy, who was tip-toeing out of devil's range.

Roy froze up. Racking his brains for a believable excuse, his brain decided to malfunction at this point of time, leaving him in the lurch at the devil's hand.

Clearing his throat, Roy regained his posture and turned to address his assistant. "Who said that I was sneaking away?"

"If sending me away to get coffee to replenish your energy and coming back to find a note that says 'gotcha!' isn't certified as sneaking away, I have no idea what to classify that as." Riza deadpanned.

Levi gave a snort; the closest to a laugh he can get.

"I can't believe I was under that moron's charge before." Levi muttered.

"Fine!" Roy huffed, turning and marched back to his gloomy office, slouching with his hands tucked into his pockets.

"Once again, I apologise, Smith. I will try to leash him up next time." Riza bowed a little, made her exit and followed her superior, making sure he doesn't run off to god-knows-where. Again.

Levi turned his attention back to the HR manager after a short silence.

Folding his strong arms together, he continues, "Let's resume business. When are you going to transfer Petra over to my office? If Dawk has a stick up his ass, I will replace it with a cactus."

Erwin gave an uncharacteristic sigh. "Nile is on urgent leave right now. His son got into an accident yesterday evening and has yet to give me a reply regarding this matter."

"That's none of my business and you certainly don't need his permission regarding staff placement. Hell, he doesn't need someone as capable as Petra by his side just to tidy up his moulding files!" he exclaimed.

Another sigh. Why me?

Turning back to his computer, Erwin said, "Go back and do some constructive work. Hound me anymore and I will take it as I've never heard your request before."

Taking it as a dismissal, Levi stormed out of the office, not bothering to close the door this time.

While Levi was hammering Erwin, Roy was having the time of his life (frantically) signing documents away. This is because everytime his pen pauses, he feels the murderous aura emitted by his beloved Riza.

"Aw come on, help me out here." Roy whines, unconsciously pausing.

Riza glared at him from the corner of her amber eyes, turning up her murderous intent a notch or two. Roy scrambled back to signing, not wanting her to add more files onto his ever growing pile as revenge.

"You of all people should know I do not have the authority to sign those documents."

"But you know how to sign my name." The whining continues. Riza was about to retort when Roy interrupted her. "Nobody is gonna find out about it if the two of us keep quiet. Really, I've never seen such forgery skill in my entire life. Do you have.. What's that called again?" he thinks.

"Eidetic memory." Snapping his fingers as he recalled the noun.

Riza restrained a sigh that was threatening to leave her.

"Just do your work, sir." Roy opened his mouth to argue but … "If you think now is the time to negotiate with me, I will say the ball was never in your court since the beginning. But if you insist on doing so, I will dig out papers for you to sign just to prolong your 'suffering' and make sure you finish it before the day ends."

Roy was lightning struck between mortification and betrayal. Resigning to his fate, he turned back to the stack, looking like a kicked dog who still thinks he is a puppy.

Riza resumed her work, mentally shaking her head. Men. Or more specifically, Roy.

—

A/N 1: We all know Roy has no way of escaping from Riza. He's whipped.

A/N 2: Riza has no reason to carry a gun in this AU. So she diverts everything to paperwork which Roy absolutely abhors.

A/N 3: If you noticed, Riza never addressed Roy by his given name. *whispers* It's because it's only for intimate settings (○´3｀)