Seer's Handbook

by lisalilsis

Rose Hathaway is one of the outcasts of the school, looked down and ignored by everyone except her best friend Christian But Rose might not be as ignored as she thought. The new boy, Dimitri, has his eyes trained on her. But Rose has a secret. Her dreams are telling her something. She is seeing someone get killed by the thing she's convinced herself is not real. All human.

11. Chapter 11 Deal

I was out of it for a while. The only coherent word in my mind was Lissa. Why Lissa? Why does he need to be taken to her?

A snapping sound called my attention, and I noticed for the first time in what felt like forever, fingers in front of my vision. It took me a second to connect the fingers with the snapping sound, apparently Christian, was trying to get me out of my head.

I focused on Christian and he seemed to notice that I was actually seeing him this time.

"Oh thank goodness. I thought you were never going to come to." He exhaled, relieved.

I didn't have time to get caught up in Christian's concern for me. I needed answers and he was going to give them to me.

My eyes tightened, "Why do you need to be taken to her?"

He put his hands up in a calm down jester, but I didn't want to. He had already kept too much from me, if he wanted my patience he would have to earn it.

"Christian." I warned.

He looked at me cautiously. "Don't be mad." He said; which instantly made me worry. What could Christian do to make me mad? " Lissa's helping me with my underworld search. Apparently she's as into this whole supernatural thing as I am." He finished sheepishly.

"Lissa, Barbie doll Lissa, is into demons and the underworld?" I said disbelievingly. It just didn't seem plausible. In what universe does Lissa have something in common with Christian.

"Yes, she does. She actually approached me the day before yesterday. Told me if I know what the Rora is, and then the conversation just took off after that."

"Let me get this straight. She approached you." I said carefully. He nodded. "And you're sure we're still talking about the Lissa that goes to our school."

"Yes, Rose, girls actually approach me." He looked annoyed. "I'm not such a loser that I can't attract girls."

"Sorry." I said, quietly.

I mean Christian did look a little scary, but he actually wasn't bad looking. His hair was a messy black, but it went with him. His features were angular and straight, the jaw line hard. He was actually pretty cute. Now if he would just stop dressing in that ridiculously long black coat and didn't button each button from his Adam's apple to his ankle, girl's would actually be all over him.

"It's alright, I guess. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Ro." He smiled, a real smile, one that warmed up his whole face. But there was something deep in his eyes that looked off.

I still wasn't buying the whole Lissa supernatural thing but I let it drop. There were more pressing matters. "Are you going to tell me the rest of your secrets?" I asked. The secret with Lissa was one, but there were so many others he was hiding. I feared I already knew the answer.

"I can't. Not now. I need to fix my fuck up first. It wouldn't be fair if I brought you into this now."

"Christian, stop this. If something's going on just tell me. Maybe I can help."

"I can't tell you."

"But you could tell Lissa." I replied angrily.

"She's different from you." He covered his mouth quickly with his hands but it was too late. The words were already out. "Rose." He looked at me pleadingly. "That's not—"

"I've heard enough." I said before I walked away. I walked down the empty hallway. Going to class was the last thing on my mind. I couldn't go, not in the eve of what just happened.

Christian, my best friend in the world, had done many things. But he had never trusted anyone more than he did me. Who would he trust anyways? We were to lone creeps. We had no one but ourselves. Was that over now? Had we broken up—friend wise.

"Rose, that's not what I meant!" I heard Christian call from behind me. But I didn't listen,I didn't want to hear anymore. I needed to be alone. He seemed to get that because he stopped following me. He let me go off on my own.

I didn't know where to go. I just knew I had to get out of here. I walked to the end of the hallway and went out the big double doors. It felt strange, ditching by myself. I had only ever ditched with Dimitri. It was strange knowing that just yesterday I went out these same doors with him. But yesterday I had Dimitri's car, today I would have to rely on my own two feet.

I walked through the parking lot, before I reached the gates that let me exit out into the sidewalk. I figured I would walk my anger out.

The streets were empty, save for a few passing cars, and the sidewalk was clear of pedestrians. Big Pine trees aligned the sidewalk. The morning air was crisp and cool; the heat of the day still a few hours away.

I walked for too many blocks just thinking. Christian and Lissa. Lissa and Christian. Whichever way I said it, it sounded wrong. In this world Christian and Lissa don't become friends. Maybe in a different world but in ours they're supposed to never talk.

Lissa, the girl was perfection, second only to my sister. How could Christian do that, how could he choose her—the girl that everyone envied—over his best friend. I wanted to scream, to yell. Lissa had everything, beauty, money, popularity, and now she had my best friend. Christian who was the only person who stuck by me when no one else did, and now he was gone, trading me in for someone better. What I couldn't understand was why, why would she be risking her social status by making friends with Christian. Nobody except for me wanted to be friends with Christian. What was Lissa playing at? Was she aiming to change my perfect sweet friend into something unrecognizable? Or was she really into demons and hell?

I tried to rule out the former but I couldn't. Lissa and hell just don't mix.

I stopped walking and took a deep breath, hoping it would calm me down. I didn't need all this melodrama in my life. It was only when I looked around that I realized I was in the same spot Dimitri had picked me up in when I first got into his car. It seemed so long ago. Back then I still thought demons were fake. Christian and I were best friend, and my life sort of made sense. Now, none of those things were true.

The sun was climbing quickly in the sky. I didn't know if time was passing too fast or too slow. The sky was a deep blue, and there was hardly a cloud in it. It looked clean, pure, untouched. I stared at it for a long time until a shadow blocked my vision.

"Rose, what the hell do you think you're doing?" I almost smiled. I'd heard that a lot lately.

"Looking up at the sky."

"I can see that. Why exactly are you doing that when you should be in class."

"I don't know." I stated honestly. "I guess I just needed to get out of there. Besides, what are you doing out here, Mia."

Mia placed her hands on her hips and looked over at me, annoyed. "What do you think I'm doing. I came here because my little sister thinks its ok for her to ditch. Now look here, I was lenient the last two days. I looked the other way because you had never ditched before in your life. But three times in a row is just pushing it."

I looked up, surprised. "You knew about yesterday."

She flipped her hair back. "Of course I knew. You always sit in that weird little table at the back of the cafeteria, and then all of a sudden it's empty. Come on, I'm not stupid." She scoffed.

"Wow, I guess not."

"Don't act so surprised, now."

"Force of habit." I shrugged. Mia rolled her eyes.

"So you going to tell me why you really out here."

"Nope."

"I thought so." She looked over at the empty street before turning her head back towards me. "Let's go back to school."

"Fine." I huffed. "My five seconds of peace are over anyways."

"I wonder why that is." She gave me a sidelong glance and giggled evilly.

I let her lead me back to school. The trip back seemed a lot shorter. As soon as we reached the school Mia quietly tiptoed to the red front doors before peaking her head in.

"Is there anyone there." I whispered from behind Mia.

"Shhh." She said, slapping a hand on my mouth. It smelled like her usual strawberry mango lotion.

"The coast is clear. Let's go." She removed her hand from my mouth, and grabbed my hand instead, pulling me into school.

"What period are we on?" I asked. We were walking quickly through the hallway, passing closed classrooms. I wasn't sure which class I had to go too, yet."

"It's ten thirty, so I say halfway through third period." Damn. Mia seemed determined to get me in class. It was going to be embarrassing, having to walk in halfway through class. As if I didn't get enough weird looks already.

"Do I really have to go in class now? Can't I just go when fourth period starts?"

She snorted. "No. It's your own fault for ditching. Now thanks to you, I have to go to my class late. And if I have to, so do you."

I gave her a pleading look, hoping to get some sympathy. It didn't work.

Ten minutes later, I found myself the center of attention.

I knocked on the door of my physics teacher, hearing her voice vibrate through the door before it abruptly stopped when she heard my knock. The door opened and I caught my teacher's annoyed glance when she realized it was an extremely late student. I felt the stares of all my classmates as I walked in.

I made my way to my seat. The table I sat on was a long rectangular one, big enough to fit boys would sit on either side of me. As soon as I sat down between them, I felt them edge away from me, sitting as far as the limited space allowed them to. I took out the materials from my backpack and began to take down notes, for once enjoying the space the boys were giving me.

I took notes for the remainder of class, scribbling furiously on my paper to make up for being late. The two boys remained tense beside me, but I only noticed it as a side thought. The majority of my mind wasn't even concentrated on the notes. I was writing on autopilot.

No, what was going through my mind was something I should have avoided completely. What should be going through my mind is Christian and the mystery that linked him with Lissa. Only it wasn't. My mind was on something else, seemingly unimportant, yet completely important.

My mind was on Dimitri. Where could he be? I thought. Was he really gone? Impossible, he couldn't just leave. He was still in high school. He couldn't make the decision to just get up and go. His legal guardians would have to make that decision. Still something gnawed at my chest, making me question if he could leave.

The class ended at 11:15. After that class was lunch. My class was close enough to the cafeteria that I ended up being one of the first people there. The line was empty so I quickly got a tray and filled it up with the first plate of food I saw. Lasagna, it didn't look very appetizing. It looked crusty and hard as if it was still frozen, even the cheese was hard. It wasn't melted.

The cafeteria was the same as always—clustered with tables and chairs—but now it felt different. My same table was in the back. It was away from all the others, my little sanctuary in the pits of hell. But I wasn't sure if I was allowed to sit there anymore. What if Christian brings Lissa there? Worse yet, what if Christian doesn't show up. Leaves me for the likes of her.

I walked to the table, clutching my tray for support. I knew if Christian showed up I would have to confront him. This meeting of ours was long overdue. I knew that what we had to discuss could break our friendship. Christian needed to tell me exactly what he was keeping from me. He needed to explain why he lied to me and finally he needed to tell me why he kept the book from me.

I had a feeling that I wasn't going to like what he told me. Christian always kept things from me for a good reason. The only logical reason for me to think why Christian kept something from me was because he knew I wouldn't approve.

Christian always kept me informed about everything he did. Never did I see any dishonesty.

Until…. of course, until that day outside the school. It felt like it happened a hundred years ago, but it was that day that Dimitri first talked to me. Right before I went to class I showed Christian the passage I found. And his eyes, they held something. A spark, a longing for this ritual; I remember his look frightened me. That was the first time I ever felt any distrust towards Christian. He lied to me after that, turned all secretive when I thought the ritual was barbaric.

Yes, I realized, that was when everything changed. We changed after that. We weren't Christian and Rose after that day. We were two solitaires, no longer whole.

I waited the whole hour of lunch on the table. I watched the cafeteria slowly get crowded by students, all rowdy and bunched up. I saw a group of girls in their tight skirts waving over to the football player's. I saw the baseball players wearing there blue and white uniforms. Apparently they had a game today (I was so out of touch with this school). Girls with tight skinny jeans were standing beside there table instead of sitting down (I imagine their pants were so tight that any sitting motion was uncomfortable). I even saw Mia talking with all her friends in the highly dubbed "cool" table. She was smiling and laughing along with a joke one of the guys lingering by her had told. The joker inched closer to her, his platinum blond hair falling into his eyes when he leaned over and whispered in Mia's ear. I watched her laugh again, a carefree laugh that echoed throughout the room. Mia could fit in anywhere.

I watched everyone socialize with their friends, talk to their group of people while I waited on my empty table, and ate my lousy lasagna. I mostly pushed it around with my fork, it tasted awful. Christian never came. My lasagna was cold because I spent most of my time pushing it around.

I couldn't leave fast enough when lunch ended. I went to my fifth period class. I had this class with Lissa, but she wasn't there. She never arrived. She was absent but I couldn't help but wonder, was she with Christian? It was strange that they were both suddenly absent.

I didn't waste my time on my façade of taking notes. I was too over whelmed to even go on auto pilot. The feeling of wanting to get out and run crept up again. I closed my fingers tightly against the edge of the table. Hoping it would keep me grounded, keep me from leaving.

When the day finished I didn't bother waiting the full fifteen minutes. I barged into the car using the spare key my mother had given me a year ago. I hardly used it but I figured today was the exception. I wanted to drive away and leave this horrible place behind, but I couldn't. Mia would worry if she saw the car gone. So I waited. I threw my backpack, carelessly, in the back seat and settled in the passenger side. My eyes were clenched shut, and I exhaled harshly through my nostrils. Today was hellish, but thank god it was Friday.

I ran my fingers against the window, tapped them against the radio, counted down who knows how many minutes. It's funny, when you want time to go faster it goes slower, and when you want it to go slower it goes faster. I never understood why that was; it was as if time itself chose to make you intentionally miserable.

Mia finally came into the car. She took immediate notice of my bad mood when she settled in her seat.

"What is it?" Mia asked.

I didn't know how to tell her that it was everything. Everything was wrong. So I just shrugged my shoulders.

Mia scowled. "It's about Christian, isn't it?" She didn't wait for me to answer. She immediately plunged into her next assessment. "Of course it's Christian, why else would you be sitting by yourself. I knew him spending time with Lissa was a bad sign."

"I think Christian chose Lissa over me." I confessed. I don't know why I did. My insecurity just came flying out of my mouth.

"He what? That bimbo." Mia scrunched up her face in disgust. "I always knew that boy had bad taste. Ever since I saw him in that fashion crime of a coat, I knew. He always did look like someone who trades fine wine for a cheap substitute." She winked. I was pretty sure she was calling me the fine wine.

"Thanks." I smiled. "I needed an ego boost."

"Don't expect me to be giving you those often. I limit myself to one per month. I think you already filled up my quota for two months." She joked before her face became serious. "Back to the Christian problem. I know you're not going to like this." Mia said hesitantly, "but I think you should talk to Christian."

I looked over at her outraged. There was no way I was could talk to him after he ditched me in lunch. Plus, I was pretty sure Christian would need to be hospitalized if I saw him now.

"Look, just listen to me." Mia said quickly."Sooner or later you're going to have to talk to him. Better to catch him now and get it over with."

I was still skeptical but let Mia drive me over to Christian's house.

Christian was sure to be at home by now. His mother picked him up sharply at 2:50 when we were all released.

Christian's house was a fifteen minute drive away from school. I was feeling nervous. This was going to be the first time I really planned on confronting Christian—not counting the time when we were thirteen and he ate my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. That confrontation consisted of mostly me lecturing him about moral conduct and thou shall not steal.

His house looked imposing when we got there. The faded peach color of the house looked unwelcoming. The wooden porch looked cracked, the misuse suddenly more visible in daylight. I didn't want to go in. I had to be nudged out by Mia, and even then it took me a good five minutes to move away from the car.

My strides were awkward as I followed the narrow path that lead to the porch. I had been to this house a million times, I reminded myself. There's no need to feel nervous.

I stepped onto the porch and held my hand out to knock on the large green door when I heard Christian's voice from inside. His voice was raised, he appeared to be discussing something, or maybe arguing with someone. The other voice was muffled; I couldn't make out who he was talking to.

I knew it was bad, but I couldn't help it. Instead of knocking on the door I inched to the window beside the door. There was always a parting in the curtain which allowed you to see inside the house. I learned that when I was twelve and was too embarrassed to go inside. The first time I came alone I peaked in through the window and found a tiny parting in the curtain. Mrs. Ozera apparently never touched this curtain because the parting was the same as it was four years ago.

I could barely make out Christiant's figure. He was hunched over, with his head on his knees. His hair was a wilder mess than usual, as if he had been tugging on it forcefully. His shoulders sagged, and there appeared to be tension in his pathetic stance.

This time when Christian spoke, the sound of his voice sounded almost pleading. I didn't get much of what he was saying but I got the gist that he was trying to reason with the person.

My mind automatically went to Lissa. It made me mad to think that it could be Lissa in there. That my Christian could be in there pleading to Lissa, possibly groveling at her feet.

Christian was facing towards the window, but his face was still bowed down so that I couldn't see it. But I saw something move quickly next to him. It was a person, only I still couldn't see them. The parting in the curtain only allowed me to see an outline of an arm. I knew at once that it wasn't Lissa, this arm was too masculine. Lissa's arm was delicate and slender.

Move closer to the window. Just inch a little more to your left so I can see who you are, I thought.

I wondered if Mia was watching me. She said she was going to wait for me in the car. She is sure to be giving me weird glances if she's seeing me crouched by Christian's window.

Finally the person took a step closer to Christian—which also happened to put him in my line of view—and my breathing stopped. I became completely frozen.

No, no, no. It can't, it wasn't. Only it was. Eddie, it was Eddie.

I watched as Eddie extended his arm out to Christian, and when Christian looked up, I finally saw his face. It looked resigned. Christian reached up, and I looked in horror as he shook hands with Eddie. Only it wasn't merely shaking hands, it was like looking at two business men agreeing to a deal. The handshake was their promise to keep their end of the bargain.

I pushed myself off of the window, and ran back to the car. I fought with my rage the whole way there. I pictured myself barging in and demanding to know what the hell there deal was. But at the same time I couldn't. The image of Christian and Eddie together was too much.

Christian, damn him. He was screwing me over this whole time. He befriended me, and made me trust him to the point that even when everything pointed against him, I still believed him. And now, with the real truth hanging over me, Christian might as well have pissed on my face.

I slammed the door of the car when I went in. Mia looked at me startled, but the look on my face kept her quiet. We drove home in silence.

As soon as we got home I ran up to my room and flung myself on my bed. I hadn't cried in years, but with my face buried into my pillow, the tears came pouring out. Big droplets of sloppy tears came out of my eyes. Snot assembled in my nose. I sobbed chokingly, but managed to keep it low enough for no one in the house to hear.

I must have fallen asleep because next thing I knew my room was in darkness. My face felt swollen. I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot red, and I could see the trail my now dry tears left behind. I was a mess.

I wanted to go lie back down in my bed, and maybe sleep for a thousand years, but I didn't let myself. I knew what I had to do.

Instead of laying with misery, I took out the battered copy of The Seer's Handbook, and began to practice my seeing abilities.

I didn't miss the fact that these past two days I haven't been dreaming of Natalie. I should be relieved, only I wasn't. Those dreams were my only connection to my seeing abilities. Without them I was just some weird kid who didn't even have the excuse of being a seer to justify her weirdness. Plus Natalie needed me. She might be in some mortuary right now, rotting with the rest of the bodies in there, but her spirit was in unrest. I could feel her every time I had a dream about her death. The raw pain I felt made it all so real. It made me know that it was real.

I lighted and incense candle I kept in my room and placed it beside the book so I could see the letters. I decided to keep the lights off. Since my dreams only came at night, I thought the dark would help me get into a vision. I sat cross legged on my carpeted floor and did the suggestion it indicates in the book. The one that said was to help the seer enter a calm stage. It was more of a yoga breathing exercise than anything but I still did it. I took a deep breath for six seconds and held it in for another three. I exhaled it all through my mouth. I repeated the action over and over again. Eventually closing my eyes and just felt the calm enter my body. The scent of my lilac candle helped me further enter my calm stage. It made me feel like I was surrounded by nature. It felt like I was back in the woods with Dimitri next to me. I had tried so hard to concentrate then, to empty my mind of everything and let the feeling of calm sweep through. Only I couldn't, having Dimitri next to me was very distracting.

This time I let it all go. I let everything get out of my mind. My sadness, my remorse, my anger. It all flew out of me. It felt like tiny strips of paper had suddenly separated from my body until all that was left of me was an empty void. A sudden tingly sensation overtook me. It started from the tips of my toes, but it slowly rose throughout my body, till I couldn't feel anything but an extreme sense of peace. I felt wonderful, like I was flying. I could actually see the crystal blue sky, until it started to darken. It turned a color blacker than coal, I couldn't see anything anymore. It was a darkness so thick it seemed to be suffocating me. And then suddenly a voice rang through my ears. It sounded like Mia's only it was different. I had never heard Mia sound like this. There was a fear laced so thick in her voice as she called my name. "Rose!" She called. No not just called, begged. She was crying for help. Her voice died down as a new one appeared. This one was of a man laughing. It took me only a second to realize that it was Eddie's voice.

I tore open my eyes and found myself back in my room. The light from the candle was still shinning, but everything else was darkened. I suddenly didn't want the room to be so dark. I got up and went to the light switch and flicked it on.

My room flooded with light. And it was only then that I realized I was shaking. Goosebumps had settled all over my skin.

What the hell was that? A vision? I didn't see anything, so what do you call that, a hearing. I tried to joke, it wasn't working. I was panicking. One second I was standing erect next to the light switch, and the next my head bowed down towards the floor and I started dry heaving. Nothing came out, but I was steel heaving and gagging. Saliva drooped down my chin before I lifted myself upright again.

"Snap out of it!" I yelled to myself. I wasn't helping anyone by getting sick. And I most definitely was not helping Mia by drooling. I needed to save her. Eddie's words suddenly appeared in my head.

Wouldn't it be a shame if something happened to her, he said. Why, why would he say that? What was he planning on doing? Whatever it was, I had to stop him. Because he was planning on doing it soon, I could feel it.

I inched out of my room and headed across the hall to Mia's. It was later than I thought, the whole house was in darkness, everyone had already gone to sleep. I gently opened the door to her room, hoping that the door didn't creak, and poked my head in. Mia was sleeping on her bed. Her hair was splayed wildly across her pillows. She wore a peaceful smile on her face which to me made her look more beautiful than ever.

This is how I always wanted to see her, with a peaceful smile on her face. I wouldn't let anyone, not even Eddie take it away. With one last glance at my sleeping sister I closed the door and tiptoed back to my room.

I took off my cloths—sleeping in jeans wasn't the most comfortable thing to do—and slipped on my cotton pants. I needed to sleep, I felt exhausted. I had already slept for a couple of hours that day, but now it felt like nowhere near enough. I was completely whiped out. As soon as my head touched my pillow I was out.

And that was when it started. The floodgates opened and suddenly my dreams turned into a frenzy of nightmares going from Natalie's murder to the murder of so many other people I didn't even know.

The scenery would change. At one point I was in this room with grimy brick walls and no windows. I was with a woman who was no older than twenty. I didn't know who she was but I felt drawn to her. Her pale blue eyes were frightened, I wanted to comfort her but she ran away from me. No, not away from me, but away from someone else. She was running towards the door when a man blocked her path and grabbed her forcefully by the arms. I didn't have time to look away when he grabbed her slender neck and twisted it.

The brick walls dematerialized in front of me and were replaced by soft purple ones. I was in a little girl's bedroom, her bed was filled with unicorn teddy bears and she had a big castle play set next to her bed. I watched as a tall woman with strawberry blond hair entered the bedroom.

"Samantha." The woman called. "Where are you Samantha?" The woman searched around the room before her piercing gaze settled on the bed. She crouched down next to it and reached underneath. I watched as she pulled out a screaming little girl from underneath the bed. The little girl was precious, she had wild curly blond hair, and plump pink cheeks. Her whole face turned beet red as she continued to yell.

"Now, now, Samantha." The woman admonished. "That's no way to act in front of a guest." The woman smiled gleefully at Samantha. "Now, I really hate to do this." She said, though not sounding at all sincere. "But I just have to. You see you're going to grow up and be a seer, and I just can't have that now, can I."

"Let me go." Samantha cried, as the woman tightened her grip on her.

"Now Samantha, I just told you I can't do that. You are going to be pretty dangerous to me when your older, so it's better we settle this now before we get into that mess."

I had to look away. I knew what was about to happen. I heard one last scream from Samantha before she became deathly silent. I knew she was dead now.

On and on the dreams came, as soon as one ended the other began. I nearly drove myself crazy watching death after death. They were all younger than twenty. Men, women, children, I watched them all die.

When I woke up the sun was higher in the sky than usual. I noticed my room looked more peaceful when sunlight shined through it. The blue of my walls looked brighter, the room looked more open, welcoming. It was hard to believe how many murders I bore witness to in this very tranquil looking room.

I needed to get out. I stumbled out of my bed and rushed down the stairs. Mia was sitting in the couch watching TV when I passed her. I made a beeline to the kitchen and saw my parents sitting down on the table casually talking to each both looked up when I came in.

My father looked at me sternly. "You didn't by any chance sneak out last night did you?" He asked.

"What?" What kind of question was that?

My mother looked at me apologetically but my dad continued talking. "What do you mean what? Do you realize what time it is?"

I hadn't really thought of it. "No, what time is it."

"It's one pm, Rose. So unless you were asleep for fifteen hours, where did you go?"