"Can I ask you something?" I asked my brother as he chomped away on some eggs benedict.
He looked up, a mouth full of food and nodded.
My brother's a year younger than me and has his own set of friends so we don't really hang out at school, but if we're each not hanging with our friends, then we're probably together, hanging out. It's always been like this. Since we're only a year apart, we get along really well and stuff. We talk to each other.
And I'd say he knows me better than any one else. Besides my parents. Oh, and I guess my friends, too.
How do I word this? Hmm. "Do you think I have a problem of holding on to guys?"
"A problem?" he asks once he swallows his food, "um no, maybe you can, but you get bored. You're really picky. Ryan was the exception and I actually can't believe you guys as long as you did."
What? Okay, yes, I've always known that I'm picky, but I wouldn't say I get bored. They just don't all peak my interested. Wait. Ahhh, maybe he's right. Ryan and I started dating mid November and we broke up in June. That's about seven months. But before then, every guy I seemed to go out with, after two or three dates, I'd be done with them. And it wasn't just so I could have a new guy. It was just because I wasn't interested.
I mean, this one guy had the worst texting habit. This other guy was way too affectionate for my liking and... oh my gosh. Listen to me think.
"Do you think I need to maybe change or what?"
"Change?" Why is he repeating everything?! "I mean, not necessarily. You have your shit together. You're allowed to be picky, I just think can sometimes stick it out a little longer instead of just bailing after one bad moment, you know? That's my opinion."
Okay, yeah, I get what he's saying.
"Why are you asking?"
Oh, umm. Maybe because of Stacy last night. I am interested in Troy. Am I going to pursue him? Fuck no. If he shows interest in me, I'll let him and I'll show interest back, but I am definitely not making the first move. Nope.
I shrug as I grab some fruit from my plate, "No, just someone told me not to hurt someone and it really got me thinking. They were making it seem like I do it intentionally or something, which I definitely don't. And so, I don't know. Maybe I need to change. Or maybe not. I wanted to just have your opinion."
"You made a move on Troy?"
What? "What? Josh, no, why would you say that?"
He laughed and cut up some more of his eggs Benedict, "oh please. You're so interested in him. I see the way you stare at him.
"What are you talking about? I don't, I don't stare at him."
"You do," he laughs, "when he's over and he's looking down at your paper, I've seen you, you stare at him and the second he's about to life his head, you look away or you look down at your paper. Don't try to deny it. You're into him."
"So what?"
He shrugged, "It's not a bad thing."
Well, maybe now it is. Stacy doesn't want me to hurt him and according to her, I hurt guys, essentially. And you know what? I don't think I really ever feel bad about it because I know these guys don't necessarily care, either. They're rich and hot and jump from girl to girl. But Troy. I guess he's different. I don't know him very well obviously, but I'm getting to know him and he just gives off this vibe that he's different. So I definitely don't want to do what I always do.
Dammit. What's a girl to do? "I guess." But I'm not sure if it is or not.
And that's what I need to figure out. Ugh.
"I'm pretty sure we can finish this project in like two more sessions, don't you think?" I asked Troy the following Wednesday afternoon.
He nodded as he continued writing, "Yeah, I think so. Wanna get together tomorrow or something and then maybe this weekend if you don't want to work on it during the week and be stress free. It's up to you."
I thought about it for a second. When's it due again? Friday? "No, yeah, that works. I don't think I have anything going on."
We were pretty much done for the day. We've been working on it for close to an hour. It's not a hard project. It's just super demanding. Like most people spend maybe 20-30 minutes on it every day, but we spread it out and just work on it for two hours so we don't have to touch it everyday of the week.
He started putting some papers into his folder when I heard the ding of the elevator. My parents were home.
And they were going to meet Troy for the first time. Oh fuuuck.
I panicked just a little bit because I knew they had a long day so I don't know if my dad was going to be grouchy or not. He was meeting with some potential clients and usually if it doesn't go as planned or if it was stressful, he'll come home grumpy and just go and watch some TV by himself.
My mom turned the corner, entered the kitchen and put some bags on the counter, but then she immediately looked back at us. "Oh, hi."
"Hey, mom," I smiled at her.
She smiled, noticing Troy, and came towards us, "I didn't know we were having company."
Yeah, I didn't either. We changed it from his place to mine last minute because my brother ended up coming with us. "Yeah, um, this is Troy," I introduce them, "and Troy, this is my mom... Elizabeth."
Troy stood up and put his hand out for her to shake, "nice to meet you Mrs. Montez."
My mom smiled at him and I immediately knew by that smile that she found him very attractive. She giggled for no reason whatsoever and shook his hand, "nice to meet you. You guys still aren't done with your project?"
"No," I told her as I put some papers away and closed my book, "almost."
"Yeah," Troy agreed, "well, we're done for the day."
"Oh perfect!" My mom clapped her hands together, "just in time for some dinner. My husband and I grabbed some Chinese take out from the best Chinese place in town and we have a whole lot of food so you should stay for dinner. Unless of course you have plans."
Troy looked at me and I think he might have silently been asking for permission, but I honestly did not mind at all. So I just smiled at him.
And I think he got it. "Sure, thank you."
She smiled at him and then turned on her heels and went back to the kitchen.
And less than a minute later, my dad came into the kitchen, dressed in some sweats and a t shirt with no shoes on yelling at my brother. "Josh, dinner!"
"Hey, dad."
My dad turned around at the sound of my voice and looked like he was going to come over and give me a hug and say hi to me, but he kind of stopped in his tracks when he saw Troy. Oh right, a guy in our house without my parents being there is not really that cool with my dad even if I am almost 18 years old.
And Lupe was off for the day because she had a dentist appointment and a doctor's one.
"Hi," he finally tells me, "who's this young man?"
"I'm Troy," Troy tells him before I even have a chance to introduce him.
They shake hands, my dad gives him an obligatory smile, but I know he's probably wondering what the hell he's doing here and if this guy is someone I'm dating. He thinks this with every single guy I've ever brought home. And most of the time, they're just friends.
I get up and gather my notebook and textbook and hold them against my chest, "we're working on an English project together."
"Oh, right, right," he says, sounding less concerned now, "well then, welcome to the Montez house."
"Thank you," Troy politely says.
And then he follows me out of the kitchen with his stuff and puts it in the front by the elevator so he doesn't forget it when I leave. He heads to the bathroom and I head to my room to put my stuff away. And on the way out, I swing by Josh's room and tell him to come out for dinner.
And the three of us, Troy, Josh, and I head back into the kitchen where my parents are already sitting around the table with all the food on the table.
Once we all get situated and have some food on our plate, my mom gets right to the questions.
"Where did you move from Troy?" she grabbed a couple of egg roles from the center, "you're new here, right?"
"Yes," Troy covered his mouth so he could finish chewing, "I actually lived her until I was about 7 and then I moved to Chicago and lived there til now, but during the summer, I moved back. My dad got a job here so yeah."
"Are you liking it?'
He nodded, "Yeah, yeah, I do. It's sort of like Chicago, but I mean, I obviously miss Chicago, I basically grew up there. But New York's great."
My dad swallowed some of his orange chicken and grabbed his glass of wine my mom just poured for him and washed it down with that. "I actually grew up in Chicago for the first 18 years of my life."
"You did?" Troy turned to him, "isn't it the best? The food. I miss the food a lot."
"Oh yeah," my dad nods as he puts some more orange chicken on his fork, "the food is my favorite part. Whenever I go back, I have to go to Lou Malnati's. Hands down the best pizza I have ever had in my entire life. So good."
"Oh man," Troy agrees with my dad, "seriously the best pizza of my life. I go all the time with my family. How often do you get out there?"
"I try to go often. I mean, my mom moved out here, so did my brother and my sister. I still have my sister out there so I do visit her and some old friends, but not as often as I'd like. We went this past April, though, and it was so great. I miss the food so much, though," my dad laughed.
Troy nodded his head, almost laughing, "yeah, I think that's the part I miss the most, though. The food."
Okay, um, so far so good. They're getting along just fine.