Chapter 5

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this story. I really appreciate hearing from you too! To Barbara, you should sign up so I can PM you! The hospitals and doctor's offices I have been to, they don't seem to be so strict with a dress code as far as color or design of scrubs. I just went to my doctor and she was wearing one with pretty flowers on it. I think it's a matter of taste. As for the speed of appointments, let's just call that creative licensing. I don't think they'd happen quite as fast as I have had them. I know when my doctor suspected something, it took a week to get the first mammogram, but after that, the second one was within a couple of days, the sonogram the same day as the second one. I'm trying to be true to the story line, characters, and human emotion, but at the same time, not drag it out.

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Ten minutes passed and Sue was still sobbing onto her best friend's shoulder. Lucy was hurting too. The thought of her best friend having to go through something like this, and the possibility of losing her best friend scared her to death.

"Honey, you can't think like that. Those things will fall into place for you." Lucy said.

"Before Tuesday?" Sue spat back angrier than Lucy was sure she meant for her.

"It won't have to be before Tuesday." Lucy reassured her.

"It will if…" Sue began, but Lucy cut her off.

"You know, if this is a real issue, and you really want to experience all you say you do, there is another solution." Lucy said smiling coyly at her.

"What's that?" Sue asked.

"You could ask Jack." Lucy said straight forward and with no slyness in her voice to make Sue think she was kidding with her.

"Lucy!" Sue exclaimed.

"What?" Lucy asked. "You said, you want to experience the, and I quote 'longing hands' of a man. He's a man- a good looking one at that. You and he are friends, you can trust him. You and Jack care for each other, and if I had to guess, probably more than that. You could ask Jack…" Lucy began.

"Lucy! I couldn't ask Jack. Not for this." Sue said slightly uncomfortable.

"I'm sure he'd help…" Lucy said in a lightly teasing voice.

"Luce, I can't." Sue said very seriously. Lucy looked at her curiously. "My promise." Sue said simply.

"You promised not to have sex before you got married, right?" Lucy asked, Sue nodded her head, her cheeks filling with color. "You tell Jack what you want, and stop him when it gets to be more than you want. If you explain it to him…" Lucy explained in a very serious tone.

"Luce…" Sue began. "You know how I feel about him. I-I just couldn't." Sue whispered. Lucy smiled at her best friend's admission, it was a first. "If he did agree, how could I ever separate the two again?" She asked. Tears were on the edge of her lids when she noticed a familiar car pull up outside the restaurant. "Did you call Jack?" Sue asked.

"I texted him, yes. I thought you needed another friend to talk to. And before you say anything, it has nothing to do with what we were just talking about." Lucy said. She took her best friend's hands in hers, but it was again too late, the tears flowed.

"What did you tell him?" Sue asked. "I'm not sure I'm ready to talk to him- anyone- about this." She insisted.

"I told him you need a friend. And, you do." She said.

Jack walked to the front of the small family diner spotting his friends, only to find Sue with her back to him, and Lucy staring in his direction.

"Sue…talk to Jack." Lucy said as she stood up and walked away so Jack could take over.

"I'm going to be in my car. If you need anything, if she needs anything…" Lucy said as she walked away.

"Luce, what's going on?" Jack asked. She patted him on his upper arm. "Talk to her. She needs you right now Jack. I'll be here, but she needs you. Take her home with you…" She said as she continued walking.

"Hi." Jack said as he walked around to sit on the bench next to Sue. When he finally faced her, he could see her cheeks were tear soaked. "Sue? What is it?" He asked softly as he knelt at her side, his heart ached for her. She started to try to speak, but it all came out as blubbering mumbles. The tears began to flow harder. Jack did the only thing he could. He pulled her into his embrace, and held her tight against his chest. She sobbed.

Jack felt her regain her composure a little and backed away enough to again sit next to her facing her, holding her hands in his. His right hand went to her face, his thumb brushed away some of the tears that were still falling on her delicate skin. All the while, Jack unconsciously whispered to her. "Shhh… it's OK. It'll be OK." He said over and over again, as he had done while he held her.

"Come on." He said, putting his hand on her elbow, helping her to her feet nearly carrying Sue. He carefully placed her in his car, secured her then called Lucy.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"About a half a block down, across the street. Why?" Lucy asked.

"Go home. I'm taking Sue with me." He said.

"Call me if you need me." Lucy said, her voice breaking from the tears falling on her cheeks.

"I will." He said, closing his phone as he got in and drove Sue home.

Jack sat her on the couch and got two bottles of water and a box of tissues. Sue sat there quietly, trying to suffocate the sobs that were finally subsiding. Jack pulled a footstool up in front of Sue and sat. He opened a bottle and handed it to her. Gratefully, she took a sip. Jack brushed the hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. She took another sip of the cold water. It helped she thought.

"Thank you." Sue signed, still not sure of her voice. Jack smiled. The pair sat in silence for a long while. Sue's breathing finally became normal. The tears had dried, but she was still lost.

"Better?" He asked.

"Some." She shrugged. "I'm sorry Lucy called you." She said apologizing.

"I'm not." He said, flashing a bit of that dimpled smile. "You know, if you ever need me- I'm here." He said. She smiled appreciatively.

"I do know." She said softly looking down at her bottle of water. Jack stared at her, trying to make eye contact with her again.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" He asked, lifting her chin. She shook her head and put her head back down. "OK." He said as he rubbed her arm, shoulder to elbow, over and over. They sat with each other for what seemed like hours. Jack moved to the side of Sue on the couch, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, holding her tight. It was nearly eight before Jack's stomach growled loudly.

"Hungry?" He asked. Sue shrugged and finally nodded her head. "Pizza?" He asked. She nodded and smiled at him, finally making eye contact.

Jack grabbed his cell phone and dialed their favorite pizza place. His order of Pepperoni, mushroom pizza with a side of garlic cheese bread, and mozzarella sticks would be delivered within an hour. Jack jumped up and grabbed another bottle of water for her and a beer for himself. He took a step away from the fridge before thinking about it, and grabbing another beer. He popped the top on one, handing it to Sue.

"Why not." She said softly, taking the bottle and taking a sip. Jack watched as her nose scrunched up.

"I didn't realize you liked beer."He said, half mockingly.

"I don't." She said. "I just need a drink."

"Oh." Jack said. He reached for her bottle and took it from her. He replaced it with the water bottle. He lifted it to his lips and drank down a long swallow. Sue looked at him curiously. "When you want a drink, you let me know. I've always thought, if you need a drink, you probably shouldn't have one." He said, swallowing more of her beer.

"Then I guess I'm sticking to water." She said smiling.

"So, what do you want to do? Movie? We can find something good to read… the deaf club across town you've gone to before?" He suggested. She shook her head.

"Do you mind? I really don't want to go anywhere… or really do anything." She answered with a melancholy look on her face.

"Not at all." He answered. "Eat, that's what I really want to do!" He said laughing. There was silence for a long moment between them. His mouth opened to ask a question when the door bell rang. "Pizza." He said and walked to the door.

The pair sat eating in near silence. Sue noticed Jack's coffee table, and saw there were two tickets to the game which was about to start.

"Jack? Why aren't you at the game?" She asked.

"They're for tomorrow, and Crash is coming by to grab them in the morning." He answered.

"No. You should go, you've been looking forward to it." She argued.

"There will always be basketball Sue. You need me right now and I need to be here for you." He answered. "How's the pizza?" He asked.

"Yummy, as always." She answered.

"Good." He said, again they sat in silence. Jack stared at her, trying to encourage a few words out of her. "Would you like a soda or something?" He offered.

"No, thanks. With all the crying I've been doing, I think I need to replenish the supply." She joked. Again, there was an uncomfortable silence. Sue played with a bread stick, and finally whispered.

"I have cancer Jack." She said in soft, matter of fact words that stopped Jack, literally in his tracks. He managed to stop his jaw from dropping, but not his eyes from becoming wide. They lifted to meet hers. With obvious effort, he closed his mouth, and blinked his eyes. A lump formed in his throat which he forced down with a hard swallow. Jack noticed his mouth had gone dry, and when he tried to speak, his voice cracked.

"C-cancer?" He asked.

Sue nodded. "Uh- umm."

He swallowed hard once more, trying to keep his own emotions in check. Too many thoughts were racing through his mind to form a full sentence. "Uh- how, how are you?" He asked stumbling over his words.

"Emotionally, a wreck. Physically… it could be worse." She said softly. Jack stared at her listening as intently as he could. "I'm supposed to call the doctor back tonight because she doesn't think I comprehended what she was saying today. I did though. Every word." Sue said.

"Why don't you call her? At least let her know that you understood everything. And, who knows, you might think of something you need to ask her." Jack said, trying to be supportive.

"I should." Sue said softly. She took a gulp of her water. Sue reached into her purse and pulled out her Black Berry. Three missed calls flashed across her screen. She quickly glanced, her mom "just checking in", Lucy "Seeing how she was doing" and Dr. Kerswell. She quickly hit the call back option for Dr. Kerswell.

"Hi Dr. Kerswell, it's Sue Thomas…" Sue began. Their conversation was nearly a half hour, the whole while Jack sat next to her, holding her hand. The test results were in, and positive. The cancer seemed to be only in the breast, and her blood counts were normal. These were good signs. Sue suddenly felt a surge of energy and had to pace. She had taken in what the doctor had said to her earlier in the day, but as Jack had suspected, had some questions for her.

In the mean time Jack texted Lucy:

"Sue has cancer and you didn't think you should tell me that?!" Jack wrote.

"She wasn't ready for you to know, it had to be on her terms." Lucy answered. She felt bad for not telling Jack the truth, but it was more important to keep Sue's secret. "How is she?"

"Holding her own. TTYL she's on the phone with the doctor now." Jack answered and slammed his phone shut.

When Sue finally hung up the phone, she was visibly tired. The stress was taking its toll. Jack was still sitting next to her, trying to be supportive. He turned toward her, putting her hands in his. "You OK?" He asked.

"Yeah." She said, taking a deep cleansing breath. "I guess now that my self-pity party is done, I have to really start thinking about what I'm going to do about this." She said matter-of-factly.

"Sue, you have every right to feel the way you do about this. It's a shock. You're scared." He said.

"Yeah, that's for sure." Sue admitted. "You OK?" She asked.

"Me? Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." He said. She looked at him as if to say that wasn't her question. "I'm scared." He admitted and paused. "But I'm not going anywhere." He said smiling at her. He took a deep cleansing breath. "So, do you want to talk it through?" He asked.

"She needs an answer by Monday. She wants to do the surgery on Wednesday." Sue said.

"Wednesday? That's kinda quick isn't it?" He asked, trying to be cautious about being too nervous.

"She said the earlier the better. I can just ignore it, but it will progress and kill me eventually." Jack shook his head. "I can have a lumpectomy and they'll take the tumor out and then Chemo and radiation treatments follow." Again shook his head, cringing at that possibility. "Or I can have a mastectomy where they take the entire breast, and there's no chemical treatment required." She said finally. Jack raised an eye brow at that possibility.

"Are you leaning toward one more than the other?" He asked cautiously.

"Well, obviously, doing nothing is out of the question." Sue said.

"Obviously." Jack agreed.

"With the lump removal, I keep my breast, but have to endure chemo and radiation." She said.

"Which will do what?" Jack asked.

"Lots of possibilities. Hair loss, vomiting, infertility are just some. I have to read over the pamphlets…" She said in a whisper. Jack could feel her hands begin to shake while in his.

"What about the mastectomy?" Jack asked.

"They take everything off. My lymph nodes need to be tested, so the doctor will take them too. At some point I can decide to have an implant or I can use a prosthesis." She giggled.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"I just never pictured me having breast implants. I always figured be grateful for what God gives you." She said with another giggle. Jack knew it was just her nerves. He laughed along with her for a minute. "They can use fatty tissue from your body to rebuild the breast, but they have to stretch my skin to do that. That just sounds painful." She said.

"If I have the partial, I get to keep my breast, but it will be disfigured, and I have to deal with the side effects of the treatment. My hair will grow back, but I may never be able to have a baby because of it…" Her voice drifted off. "It's kind of ironic." She said.

"What is?" Jack asked, watching her intently.

"If I go with the partial, I could end up not being able to have children. If I go with the whole thing, I'll still be able to have kids, but won't attract someone to have them with!" She said, laughing loudly.

"What makes you say that?" Jack asked.

"Men want a woman with a certain type of body- and I won't have that." She replied with a depressed sound to her voice.

"Then you're attracting the wrong kind of man." Jack said seriously. Sue looked at him curiously. "Sue any man worth his salt wants to be with you for you. Who you are inside. You're being beautiful doesn't hurt, but it's not who you are." Jack said, suddenly aware of what he'd said. "This cancer is a part of you- it's not who you are. Don't let it define you, don't let it destroy you." Jack said.

"Thanks." Sue said, blushing from his compliment. She was quiet for a long moment. "If I was your wi- your sister, what would you tell me to do?" She asked him.

"I can't tell you what to do Sue. This has to be your decision." He paused as she began to tear up once more. "And, you're not my sister. But… if you were my wife, I would tell you to have the radical surgery. To me, it seems like the better choice. You don't have to go through the chemical side effects, and you can still have kids." He said. Sue's face was deep crimson and again, tears had spilled over her eye lids.

"Thanks." She said, leaning into to his embrace. Jack held her for a long time until he realized she was totally relaxed against him, and he could hear baby snores coming from his shoulder. He couldn't help himself as he leaned in and placed a soft caress on the top of her head. Jack slowly lifted her from the couch, and carried her to his bed. He gently laid her on the blanket and smiled down on her. His mind drifted as he took her shoes off, unbuttoned her pants and pulled her shirt from the pants. His sole thought was how he'd dreamt of carrying her to his bed so many times, but the night always ended with him making passionate love to her, not pulling the blanket from the side of the bed over to cover her. Alas, that fantasy was for another place and time. Right now, she needed his support.

Jack turned on a small table lamp so Sue could see if she woke in the night, and then took the pillow from the top of the bed, and walked out to the couch, put the pillow on the arm, and lay his head on it. After what seemed like hours, he drifted off.