Rini was crying. Violet and Raine were asleep. I think she meant to wait until the three of us were safely unconscious before starting to sob. I'd gone quiet and still, trying my best and failing to fall asleep, so she thought the coast was clear. I heard her tiny sobs and didn't make a sound. Maybe I should have, but I was more scared of trying and messing it up than of doing nothing. That realization made me uncomfortable. I listened to her cry, paralyzed, until her cries grew quiet and her body finally just shut down. I wallowed in my guilt until I fell asleep.

I woke up after a nightmare. It took me a second to remember where I was. I wanted to get up and maybe do something productive on the computer, but I was stuck. Violet was on one side of me, Raine on the other, and Rini was nestled in my hair. I didn't even remember her getting up there. I sighed. I wasn't getting up for a while. I tried my best not to move. It was early enough that the sun wasn't up, and I didn't want to disturb anyone. I might as well be the only one with insomnia. I let my mind wander and hoped I'd fall asleep soon.

I thought about the pokemon around me and smiled a little. To greater or lesser extents, they all wanted to be here with me. No-one was boss and we were all equal.

I felt Rini shift in her sleep, interupting my train of thought. I was lying to myself. She hadn't wanted to come. She saw me as the least bad option, not as a good one. I frowned. Even ignoring that, the main premise was wrong. As long as they were all in pokeballs, things would never be equal between us. I tried to reassure myself, to tell myself that I would break their pokeballs in a heartbeat if they told me they wanted to go, but I hoped that would never have to happen. They were - I wanted them to be - my tiny little chosen family and I didn't want anything to happen to them.

I couldn't fall back asleep. I couldn't reach my phone or pokedex, so I couldn't see what time it was. At some point after sunrise, I decided that I would just get up and not care who I woke doing so. Raine mumbled something but managed to stay asleep. Rini was woken up by me lifting my head to get up, and I accidentally pushed Violet off the bed.

She looked at me, irritated. I shrugged back at her. You were on the edge of the bed. I couldn't have not woken you up.

She shook her head, like she wanted to say something but just didn't feel it was worth it. What time is it, anyway?

Half past six, I said.

Another one? She was trying to give me her best 'caring' voice. I really didn't want to talk about it. I nodded curtly. They've been coming more often the past few weeks. I wanted this conversation to be over. I nodded again. Would you like to talk about it? I shook my head. Okay. I'll be here if you change your mind, she said. She curled up on the bed and closed her eyes. She was asleep again in about a minute.

As I grabbed my laptop, I noticed that Rini sat and looked morosely out the window. It wasn't a very good view; there was a building directly in front of us, blocking anything else that could have been in our sight. I didn't want to tell her the window wasn't even facing in the direction of her to look at her pond. It was the intent that mattered more than anything else.

I looked up from the computer every few minutes to check on her. She didn't move. She didn't make a sound. I wanted to say something, to show that I cared, but the nightmare had left me too shaken to communicate clearly without Violet's telepathy. I hoped that she'd get me if she needed something.

The next few hours passed quickly. I read the internet and Rini alternately slept or looked out the window. Raine and Violet properly woke up at about eleven.

Let's go get some food, I told Violet. I put on slippers and helped Violet put on her service vest. She grumbled all the while. I attached the leash to her collar apologetically and we head out. We went to the dining room on the bottom floor. People stared, though I'm not sure if it was because of my pajamas or because of Violet; I hoped it was the former. I waited in a short line to get food from one of the pokemon center nurses.

"So, you're still here," she said as I walked over to her. Her nametag said 'Mary'. I kept forgetting her name, even though she was here every weekday. I nodded. "I was hoping I'd come back after the weekend and you'd be gone." I didn't know how to respond to that. "There's a whole big region beyond Santalune, you know. What's keeping you here?"

I tried to make myself look small and shrugged. I hadn't been expecting a conversation. "Just haven't gotten around to it, I guess." I wanted to leave the city, but every time I thought about it, there seemed to be another reason stopping me: I had to train Raine, I had to get Viola's badge, I had to wait for the crowds to die down, I had to make sure Rini was stable.

"You beat Viola, right?" I nodded. "Well, if you beat her, you can beat the rest of them. You don't have to be scared."

I raised an eyebrow, suspicious of anyone who gave me praise for no reason. "What makes you say that?"

"I don't know. Just, everyone at the center is rooting for you. We don't get many trainers like you." 'Disabled', the word no-one wanted to speak around me, like it was dirty and not just a fact of life. "Make sure you don't stop pushing yourself. You have so much more in front of you." I gave a small nod, unsure of what to say anymore. I didn't know why people seemed so certain I'd backslide without their encouragement, as if I didn't have goals of my own. She placed three bowls of food on the counter. "Well, here you go. Food for you two and your Cyndaquil."

"Oh." I felt like kicking myself. "I forgot to mention. We have a new teammate. An Azurill. She needs food too."

She gave me an annoyed look. I blushed and looked down. She grabbed another bowl and started to head for the container with the right kind of food. She kept trying to do small-talk in the meantime. "When did you catch her? She's your first, right?"

I nodded before realizing her back was to me. "Saturday, and yeah, she is."

"Did anyone give you the pamphlet?"

I gave her a confused look. Her back was still facing me. I sighed. "No, no-one did. I don't know what it is."

"In the front lobby, and maybe in the dormitory lobby, the league has a few informational pamphlets. One of them is for new trainers who catch a pokemon for their first time. Maybe look through it. You might learn something." She came back to the counter and placed the fourth bowl of food down. "Here you go, then."

"Thank you," I said. "Let's go back, Violet." Violet lifted all four bowls of food with telekinesis and I saw a few people try not to flinch. I gripped Violet's leash tight because that was the kind of action that reassured other people that Violet was "under control". Even with her service vest, most people feared her. We walked back to our room as quickly as we could.

We ate. Raine made a mess as she tore into her food, which I resolved to clean up later. She came up to me when she was almost done, nudged at my food, and gave me the cutest look she could.

Violet's been teaching you, hasn't she? Violet giggled as I gave Raine a bit of toast to play with. I'm going to regret having done that in the future, aren't I?

You can have some of mine if you'd like! Raine said. Violet giggled even harder. I wanted to say something snarky, but she was just so earnest. I couldn't say anything. I just shook my head and smiled and pet Raine softly.

Rini walked over from her bowl shyly. I gave her my full attention. She didn't interact with us very much of her own volition. C-Can I have some too? I want to know what it tastes like, if that's okay.

Go ahead. Take anything you want. I put my bowl in front of her. She took small bites of my egg, toast, and oatmeal. She didn't seem to hate them. Rini went back to finish her own food. Thank you, she said softly.

I nodded. I wanted to pet her like I did Raine, but I was scared. I didn't know her as well, or as long, and I wasn't sure yet if that was something she wanted.

I put the bowls over to the side and grabbed my computer. Would you like to watch something?

Violet and Raine nodded. I put the computer down at the foot of the bed and the three of us piled together to get a clear view. Rini stayed near the window and looked at us confused. What are we watching?

Technology is still a mystery to her, I reminded myself. I didn't quite know how to explain 'watching a movie'. It seemed so natural to me. I bit my lower lip as I took a few seconds to figure out an explanation. We can watch some people tell a story. It looks like it's actually happening, but it's not. It's not real. It's a way to spend time together. That didn't seem to help. It'll be more obvious once we do it.

Rini came over and sat on the edge of the bed. She was far enough away that she didn't feel fully part of the group, but close enough that it didn't feel like she was ignoring us. It made me uneasy. I chose the a not-too-long movie, turned on the subtitles, and let it start playing.

A few minutes later, Raine said, What's so special about this? I don't understand what's going on. I tried to summarize the plot so far, but she interrupted me. No, no. There are sounds coming out but I don't know what they mean.

I frowned and paused the playback. I tried something. "Can you understand this?"

You just did it too! I don't know what that means.

I frowned more. Raine nudged into my arm and said, I don't think she knows how to speak human. I learned from the people in the lab who took care of me.

I learned from the breeder who trained me, and then from living with you, Violet said. She didn't have anyone to learn it from.

I turned to Rini again. I'm sorry, dear. We can stop watching if you want me to.

Rini had small tears in her eyes. No, I want to know what's going on.

I thought for a while. Violet then said, Can you start the movie up again? I want to try something.

I hit 'play'. When there was dialogue, Violet read the subtitles 'aloud' in the telepathic link. I paused after a scene finished and asked, Were you able to understand better?

Rini tried to bounce a little on the bed. I kept my arm ready to catch her, in case she flew off; the bed was not the most stable surface. That was fun. Can we keep going?

Violet said, Yes, as long as Kira helps me translate. I don't think I can do the whole movie. I nodded. I don't know much about it, but this'll hopefully let you learn the language easier: hearing how the words and sentences sound and are structured, and knowing what they mean from telepathy.

I nodded and hit play again. I read the subtitles aloud until the next big scene change. Violet and I alternated that way until the end. When the movie ended, Rini started to bounce excitedly again, higher and higher.

I got a bit nervous. Be careful! Don't fall on the floor!

She kept bouncing and giggling. That was so much fun. Can we watch another?

I thought for a second. Do the rest of you want another? Violet and Raine nodded.

Privately to Violet I said, Would you mind translating alone for a while?

Are you going somewhere?

Do you remember the pamphlet the nurse mentioned earlier? I think I'm going to go look it up in the lobby. I want to see what it says.

Can't it wait?

I've never seen Rini be happy like that. I want her to look like that all the time. It hurts that she doesn't. Maybe if I read what the pamphlet says, it'll help.

Okay, she said, unconvinced. I can handle it, but come back quickly.

I put on the first episode of a tv show I'd already watched. I grabbed my phone and set an alarm for twenty minutes from now, so I'd be back by the time the episode ended. I'll be back soon, I said before stepping out of the room.

I checked the dormitory lobby first, because it was closer. The less I had to walk the better. It was close to deserted; there was only one other person here. On one of the walls was a bulletin board plastered with sheets of paper of all different colors. It almost seemed to scream. "Lost Abra", "Looking for a Trade," "Train Your Pokeball Throwing Skills" - there were advertisements for everything.

On a table below it, there were some pamphlets. I found the one I was looking for, chose a chair, and sat down to read it.

If you've caught a pokemon and intend to use it in your party, remember these few things:

- A pokemon's first few days with you may be difficult. Be prepared for your pokemon to be angry or depressed. Return it to its pokeball until the episodes pass.

- Initially, your pokemon will likely not understand your requests and commands. Give it time to get used to human speech and learn a bit of our vocabulary and grammar.

- It is dangerous and irresponsible to use a newly-caught pokemon in battle. It can be disobedient, unstable, and a danger to yourself and other trainers.

- Let your party interact with each other as much as possible. Let the newly-caught pokemon see your team dynamic and give it many opportunities participate.

- Be firm. Wild pokemon are used to a certain degree of freedom. Don't be afraid of disciplining your new capture. The pokeball is your greatest asset.

- Remember to let pokemon center nurses inspect every new capture for infections or parasites. Your journey and training may be delayed if your pokemon needs treatment.

- If your pokemon's temperament is too rough or unstable, the best thing for everyone may be to release it back into the wild.

- Psychic and Dark types require special care to assimilate into a pokemon team. Do not capture them from the wild unless under the supervision of a skilled type specialist.

I put the pamphlet down. "She's not an it," I said out loud. I tried to focus on the rest of the advice - she's out of her pokeball as much as she can be, we've started to teach her to understand speech - but I kept focusing on that one essential point: she's not an it.

I crumpled up the pamphlet and threw it at the garbage can. I missed. I checked how much time I had left. Fifteen minutes. I might as well get back to them. Reading that was a waste of time.

I grabbed my cane and was about to get up when the other trainer in the room started walking toward me. He had a belt of six pokeballs on his waist and a backpack that looked completely stuffed. He had a small beard and I wondered how old he was. He looked older than he really was, but I had no concrete reason to think that. I checked my phone quickly. It was about 2pm. I tried not to be too embarrassed about still wearing pajamas and failed.

"You dropped this. 'You've Caught a Pokemon. Now What?' Are you the one with the Litleo keeping the whole third floor awake at night?"

"What? No, no, I'm not." I took the crumpled ball of paper from him.

"Shame. I was hoping to give them a piece of my mind before I left. Guess I won't have the chance." I didn't know what to say and I didn't know what he wanted. Was that a joke? Should I have laughed? I kept quiet. "Look, I need to go soon, but you're still a newbie, right? Do you want some advice?"

I nodded. I tried to get the words out, but they sounded soft and meek. "She cries at night. I don't know how to stop it."

"If you get in the habit of catching your pokemon wild, it's something you have to get used to. Everyone goes through that night when your new pokemon is crying, or trying to get away when she thinks you're not looking. No matter how good you are, no matter how kind you are, it happens. They learn to accept you, and then you have a friend for life. I caught all my pokemon wild, and they're my best friends. Pokemon learn fast, and recover fast. It'll be okay."

He checked his watch. "Well, the train to Lumiose leaves in half an hour. I've got to go. Good luck, kiddo!" He practically yelled those last few words as he rushed out the door. I checked my timer again. Thirteen minutes left. I sighed and started walking back to my room.

I took over translation duties from a tired Violet and watched the rest of the show with my team. When it was over, I grunted, shut the laptop lid, and sprawled out on the bed. My team surrounded me and I head three different variations of "what's wrong?"

I don't know what to do. The last few days, I've seen you crying. You cry in the morning, and you cry at night, and I feel awful. I want to help and I don't know how. I want you to be happy.

Rini was uncomfortable and I wondered if I should just have stayed quiet. I gave her time. I waited and waited until she finally spoke. I want to go back home. I want to go back home and scream and cry.

I really hadn't wanted to hear that. You could. If you'd prefer not to be with us, you can go back and I won't be angry. None of us will.

I want to go and scream and cry and then leave. They don't want me anymore, so I don't want them anymore. It hurts.

I mean it. The idea of going back scares me, but I can take you there.

Rini pressed herself into my side. Let's just go. Far away.

I pet her softly. Okay, dear. We'll leave Santalune tomorrow.