Jasper asked, "So why is she your favorite?"

He and I had been traveling together for a few hours now. We ran out of the usual introductory questions really quickly — 'So, where did you go to school? What are some of your favorite foods?' — and had moved on from there. We'd spent the last two hours talking about our different tv shows.

I hmmed and tried to figure out the best words for my answer. I wanted to be precise. "I always thought she was the most honest out of all of them. She's loud, and she's witty, and I love her for that, but what I really love is that she's so honest. She puts herself forward all the time with so much earnestness."

It was going to be close to sundown soon and we still weren't at the next town. Jasper brought basically no food with him, and I had to share some of what I packed. I didn't bring enough for an extra human and an extra pokemon, so we were completely out of food, and we were almost out of water. I wanted to arrive, collapse on a bed in the pokemon center, and finally think clearly about how to prepare for tomorrow, especially if he stuck around.

I didn't know what to think about Jasper. He was still a stranger, but he was pleasant. His hands were always occupied, playing with whatever was on hand, and he laughed at his own jokes. He was earnest too, and I appreciated that. If nothing else, conversations with him filled the time — hiking the routes was even more boring than I'd anticipated.

"That makes sense," he said. He put his hand to his chin. "I think my favorite is Mar—"

We were interrupted by a scream. I couldn't tell what direction it came from, but it was close.

I jumped and gripped my cane so tight I almost overbalanced. It was embarrassing enough doing that at the pond; I didn't want to face-plant on the ground with someone else watching. The fire on Raine's back flared up to a height I'd never seen before and the air to my right side got uncomfortably hot. Jasper let out a grunt.

"What was that?"

I tried to get my breathing under control before I answered. "It sounded like someone screaming. I don't know why."

He looked at me, scared. "D-Do you think we should go help?"

I bit my lower lip. I wanted to say no. I very emphatically wanted to say no, and hurry on to the town, and forget this ever happened. It could be someone else's problem. We lived in a world where a twelve year old could demolish any arbitrary neighborhood if they really wanted to; it didn't seem too far-fetched to assume that some other cocky kid would leap into danger without even thinking about it. Let someone else get in trouble, get hurt.

At the same time, I also didn't want to lose Jasper's respect. He was a stranger, and we'd only known each other for a few hours, but I didn't want to disappoint him. I pictured the look of scorn he might give me if I said 'no' and a cold shiver ran up my spine.

Against my better judgment, I said, "Maybe Violet or Eru can tell how many people there are in the area? There might be others around who can take care of it more capably than us."

Violet softly headbutted my thigh. Are you okay? I can tell you're worried.

I want someone else to take care of this. I don't want to run in without thinking, and I want to make sure he doesn't do it either. I don't want to be alone again if I make him angry, though.

You're never alone, dear.

Violet's voice sounded a little sad. I looked at Violet and didn't know what to say. Of course I'm not alone when I'm with her. She and Raine and Rini are just as much people as Jasper is. I just... I don't know. I had to think about it more, but now was not the time. I pet Violet softly and tried to push the thoughts out of my head.

Is something wrong? Raine's voice was quieter than usual. It wasn't curious or excited like it normally was; she sounded more meek and hesitant, like she did that first day we met, before her inhibitions faded away.

Violet licked Raine very slightly. We don't know. I'm going to try to find out. It'll be okay, though, because we'll be together. Please be quiet for a second, all of you. I need to concentrate.

Violet sat down and closed her eyes. Eru was already nestled into Jasper's shoulder and their horns were glowing. They were already searching, and I really hoped they'd find other people we could shunt responsibility off to.

Jasper and I stood there in silence as we waited for our pokemon to finish scanning the area. I wanted to sit down so I could hold Raine and Rini close, but I couldn't just sit down and get up at will without pain, especially after a full day of walking. I stood still and tried to smile at them as they got up close to my feet.

You're not going to like what I found, Violet said after a bit of time.

My heart sank. It sank further when Jasper said, "There's no one else around, not for miles, I don't know and there's a powerful pokemon close by. He's going to die if we don't help. We have to go help."

"He?"

"That's what Eru said."

He paused. I think he was looking for validation. He rocked back and forth like he was anxious. I tried to stall for time. Jasper might have thought this was the right thing to do — and it might actually be the right thing to do — but I was still scared. "I'm sure you've asked Eru for consent" — he flinched — "but I haven't talked to my team about it. I need to make sure they're okay with it."

What's going on? Rini said. She sounded scared and confused. I realized that all my talk about consent was meaningless if they didn't have enough time to think and react to the situation.

Violet looked at Rini. Would you like to jump back on my back, dear? It feels safe for you there, I think?

Rini didn't answer. She just got on her tail and bounced a few times to get to a good height before landing on Violet's back. She nuzzled Violet with her tail. It does. She sounded a bit better. What's going on?

Raine nuzzled my leg and looked up at me, like I had all the answers. I sighed and said, Someone's in trouble. That's what that sound was. We could help. We don't have to.

Why wouldn't we help? Raine asks, as if it's the most natural thing in the world. To her it probably is.

Noted. Violet?

Violet took a second before answering. She flicked her tail and said, The pokemon threatening that trainer is a Gardevoir. I don't know why she's upset, but an angry, possessive Gardevoir is one of the most dangerous pokemon to deal with. I want to help, but I care more about keeping you safe.

That didn't sound right. I'd met a Gardevoir in the past and that sounded nothing like him. I was confused and I fumbled for my pokedex to double-check what Violet said. I flipped to Gardevoir's entry and started reading. "Gardevoir have the ability to see the future. They are intensely protective of their families; they will attack with all of their telekinetic power to protect their partners, their young, or their trainer. For this reason, they are incredibly dangerous and it is heavily advised never to attempt to capture any member of this evolutionary line in the wild or to disturb their habitats."

What's going to happen to him?

Do you really want to know? I glared at her until she continued. I could feel he had some occupied pokeballs, though I have no idea what's in them. If they could fight the Gardevoir off, they'd probably have done so already.

So Jasper wasn't overreacting. I finished. They'll probably die if we don't help them.

We'll probably die if we do help them.

Everything seemed more complicated. I knew it wasn't, really. I was just catching up, and slowly at that. All of my justifications were slowly falling away. I tried to think about leaving anyway and my mind just showed me a bloody mess on the ground surrounded by broken pokeballs. I tried to change the view and my brain showed me a silhouetted image of two adults crying. I resented it; I didn't even like parents to begin with. I tried again to change the image again and I saw two bloody streaks on the ground and barely recognizable limbs strewn along with the pokeballs, because Jasper might die too if the Gardevoir was that dangerous.

I looked at Rini, hoping for some reason she'd say something delightfully insightful and we could all come out of this safe. She paced back and forth on Violet's back. I stood there silent, waiting for her to respond. Time moved so slowly, and with every second that went by all I could think of was that bloody smear on the ground. The image wasn't even real and I was angry at myself for being so affected.

Rini faced away from me when she spoke. I don't know. I don't want to make a decision. This is too scary. Please choose something.

After a second or two, I nodded. I wanted her to pick, I wanted her to say something, because maybe that'd save me from doing it. She was bowing out, though, and I couldn't be angry since I was trying to defer my decision too. I wanted to think more about it, but a voice in the back of my head kept screaming "deliberation is not a free action!" I tried to keep it short. I realized that Violet was here offering me a way out, and I wasn't immediately taking it. It felt repulsive; whenever I tried to think about walking away, my brain would call up all these gruesome images and yell at me why it was wrong and cowardly.

I looked at Violet. Would you really object if I went with Jasper?

I'd try to talk you out of it, vehemently. I'm talking with Eru, and they're trying to convince Jasper.

I'm not any better than that trainer is. There's no reason I deserve to live and he doesn't.

One trainer death is an accident. Two or three is a tragedy.

You talk about it like it's inevitable!

It is, but yours isn't!

My hands were shaking and my eyes were closed tight to keep the tears in. Here was a life and death situation and I was still worried about not looking pathetic in front of my traveling companion, however long that was going to last. It was pathetic. I fought off those thoughts while searching for something to say to Violet.

My thoughts were interrupted by Jasper. "You're taking too long. I'm going to go help him." I opened my eyes. Jasper clutched Eru tight to his chest and looked directly at me with a look I couldn't parse. I couldn't go with him — not yet, not before Violet agreed. He sighed and took off running.

Please, Violet, we have to go help. I need your consent to do this. "Consent under duress is not consent," the sensible part of my brain reminded me, and I needed it to shut up quickly.

No. If it'll keep you safe, no.

I fell to the ground, trembling a little. What kind of a person am I to let them go?

Violet didn't answer. She came up close and nuzzled me. Raine and Rini followed her lead. I didn't even know if they could hear the conversation between me and Violet. The weight and the warmth should have felt pleasant, but I was sticky from sweat and my eyes were burning.

I pushed them off. I want to be alone for a while, I said, picking myself up. I looked at Violet and clarified, Actually alone.

Violet started, Don't go—

I won't. I promise. You know I'm bound by my promises.

Violet didn't respond. None of them said anything. I returned them to their pokeballs, Violet last.

I sat there, wondering what to do. The next pokemon center was a mile away. I wanted to throw my cane away and walk the last mile without it. I wanted it to hurt. It took me a few minutes to stamp down the thought. I started walking.