There was a defiant glint in her eyes when she told him she would go with him to King's Landing after all. He could not understand it at first. He had not said anything, or done anything, to suggest to her that he did not want her to come.
Or perhaps, he thought later, it was defiance towards her own true wishes. She was going despite herself, despite her own wish. For his sake?
"You don't have to go. If you don't want to," he finally said to her, two days before they were due to depart. Preparations had been made, arrangements had been finalized, yet it took him that long to get those words out.
She had been looking out the window, staring at the sea that was looking calm and untroubled for once. She turned around to look at him. "What did you say? I'm sorry, I was …distracted for a minute."
She had been distracted for days. Since the letter came.
"I said, you don't have to go. To King's Landing. If you don't want to."
Her brow creased. She stared at him for a long while, before asking, "Would you prefer me not to go?"
"No. Of course not. I mean … that is, I don't prefer that you go either."
"I would like to see my father. And Brandon, Ned and Benjen. To tell them the news myself. About the baby."
He had forgotten that they would be there too. "Of course. I thought …"
She waited for him to finish his sentence. When he did not, she stood up and walked towards him, her hands taking hold of his. "You thought what?"
"Nothing. It's …"
only a silly thought I had
"… not important."
"I'm coming with you. To King's Landing," Renly suddenly announced at dinner that night.
"No, you're not. Now stop fidgeting and finish your dinner," Stannis replied without looking up from his own plate.
"Yes, I am!" The sound of a spoon being bashed repeatedly on the table grated on Stannis' nerves, but he resolved to ignore the childish tantrum. Paying attention to it would only encourage Renly.
"Tell him, Lya. Tell him I can go with you. Tell him!" Renly finally turned his effort to his sister-in-law, once he realized his brother was determined to ignore him. But she was lost in her own thoughts and did not seem to hear him.
Lya. That was her brothers' name for her. And Robert's. But never Stannis. And certainly not Renly. Where had Renly heard of that? He must have remembered Robert using it. And who said he could call her that?
"I said no! You're not going, and that's that."
Lyanna glared at him. Do you have to yell at him? He's only a child, her expression was clearly saying.
"I want to go!" It was Renly's hand hitting the table repeatedly now, instead of the spoon.
"Renly." A word from Lyanna was all it took for him to stop, however. Renly took his hands off the table immediately.
"We'll be back soon. We won't be gone for long," Lyanna said, smoothing back Renly's unruly hair. He needs a haircut, Stannis thought.
"What if you don't come back? Robert went away and he didn't come back. Mother and father went away and they didn't come back."
"Of course we'll be back. It's only King's Landing, it's not that far," Lyanna replied.
"Do you promise?"
It was Stannis who replied. "You always want people to promise things. It's not always possible for people to keep their promises. You're growing older now. You need to know that some things are out of our control." He recalled Robert's promise to Renly before he left for the Vale for the last time. "And people shouldn't make promises they don't know they can keep," he snapped.
Renly started crying. Lyanna was hugging him, telling him that he must stay at Storm's End while his brother was away. "There must always be a Baratheon at Storm's End."
Renly perked up listening to that. "Like there must always be a Stark at Winterfell?"
"Yes. How did you know that?" Lyanna smiled.
"Robert told me. I'll stay. I'll take care of things here while Stannis is gone."
Just what we need, Stannis thought. Renly playing at being Lord of Storm's End.
They argued afterwards, husband and wife.
"He's only a boy, you don't have to be so harsh with him."
"And you shouldn't make promises you cannot keep."
"I didn't promise him anything."
It was the first time they had raised their voices to each other. Shocked recognition filled their faces.
"Forgive me," he said, "I should not have raised my voice."
She laughed. "Our very first fight."
"Hardly a fight, we're just disagreeing," he replied.
"A fight," she insisted.
He accepted that. "Strange that it's about Renly."
"Not so strange. That's what parents usually fight about, their children."
"Renly is not our child. He's my brother."
"No, but we are raising him. Together."
He had never thought of it that way before. Renly was his younger brother, his responsibility since the death of their parents and Robert decamping back to the Vale where he had been fostered.
"As we will raise this child together, when he, or she, comes," she continued, her hand touching her still-flat belly.
Our child, he thought.
"You disapprove of my ways with Renly. And you're afraid I will be the same with … with our child. Harsh. Unloving." It was a statement, not a question.
"You love him. I know that you love him. But children, well, they cannot read our minds. I just wish ... you would show him more affection."
"Robert showed him plenty of affection. When he was home, that is. The rare times that he was here. Then he went back to the Vale and forgot all about Renly."
About us.
"This is not about Robert. Renly is a boy who lost his mother and father before he ever knew them."
He knew that, knew that better than anyone. But Renly had been spoilt and cosseted by everyone in the castle since the death of Steffon and Cassana Baratheon. Someone had to be the one laying down the law, or his little brother would grow up to be a selfish man thinking of nothing but his own wants and needs. He had never felt the need to explain this to anyone before, but he desperately needed his wife to understand now. And yet words failed him. Inexplicably, and completely unfairly, he knew, he was crossed with her.
Why don't you know this already? You with your gift, with your eyes that always see more than I want you to see. Why don't you see this? Why don't you understand this?
Or has your understanding failed you, because someone else is in your mind?
He recalled that she had not actually promised Renly that they would be back. She had told him that they would be back, but she had not promised him.