How long did we sleep? I see the sunlight between the curtains, but I feel like I didn't sleep at all. I'm sore. I'm incredibly sore. I'm cold. I'm naked with no blanket on me. Plus, it feels lonely in the wide bed like that... when we sleep so far away. It reminds me of all the empty mornings where Erwin left me in a bed too big for me. And, let's be honest, it happened way too often to my liking even though I was fine with the low amount of cuddles we got. I was never the type to cuddle... or so I thought, since Petra and I didn't cuddle much either. Yet, right now, at this exact moment when I wake up; I need cuddling a lot more than I ever did. I just didn't have the right person for it until now, I guess... because when I find the mass of blankets on the bed, I sneak up to it until I can touch the warm body under it. I could very well lie to myself and say something like: I just felt cold and wanted to get under the blanket too. It would be a possible explanation, but it's not the right one. I sneak under the blanket for him. For Eren Jaeger. He hums sleepily when I wrap my arm around him as much as I can considering the foetus position he's in.

He gently brings my hand to his lips to kiss it. I feel a smile against my skin and it feels great to be kind of a big spoon to his little spoon, even if he's more of a big spoon than a little one, but whatever. He says: "...Morning, Levi."

The way he says it; it's sweet and loving. I drop a light kiss on his back at the nape of his neck as an answer, because I don't feel like talking and waking up fully yet, but then he has to break the peaceful moment because of his stupid hormones. Yeah, because there wasn't anything sexual in the way I kissed him or snuggled behind him... well, save for the fact that my dick was pretty close to his naked ass. Still. It wasn't sexual at all, but grinding against my groin for a few seconds made it quite sexual easily.

Did I say something about how he fucked the moment up? Never mind that.

"I thought you would give in..." He starts very low... I have to pay attention to actually get every word he says shyly. "And I thought you'd take me at least once. I wanted you to do it... And I thought if I pushed you far enough you would, but you didn't even wander there..."

That's true; I didn't and it's not because I didn't want to. I was haunted by the memories of Levi actually topping Eren and I felt the overwhelming urge to do it... and he might have been so fucking insatiable because he couldn't feel quite satisfied either. Maybe. I wouldn't know.

"Stop it, Eren... " I groan because he isn't stopping his teasing movement and I know him better than that; I know he won't stop. It's Eren Jaeger we're talking about here.

''I wanted you to do it...'' He repeats with something pleading in his voice like he's asking for it right fucking now and... I guess I fail at fighting back with a negative answer. Let's be honest, it's not like I don't want to and I can't make the words come out with assurance, so I just back up in the bed to get out of it; out of his reach. I hear him groan and peek outside the comforter to look at me. His intense green eyes on my naked self... and, more importantly, on my hardening member. He smiles like a little kid getting exactly what he wants and throws the comforter on the floor with his legs as he reaches out to me before I get too far away from him... and then, when I'm standing close to the edge of the bed, when he gets a good view of my face; he says:

''You look so tired... You look like shit.''

"What the... " fuck!?

I can feel the giggle in his voice, but it doesn't change what he just said. What the actual... fuck? I've let him see me in a bunch of very unflattering angles and expressions... and he's going to tell me now that I look like shit? What was that thing about considering I just didn't have the right person before? Fuck that. No one ever told me I looked like shit in the morning. He looks at me with mischief written all over his face and I'm really not in the mood for this kind of thing right now. It's too early in the morning and I'm too tired for this, but he laughs and it's a sound I can't get out of my mind... the way he laughs like a little kid and reaches out to get a kiss out of my lips. It's pure and innocent... and he stops laughing to ask; seriously:

"Can we die if I have sex with you too much?"

Fuck you and your little kiss... you can kiss my ass, that you can. I'm done.

"First, you insult me and now this... Where did that even come from?" Pause. He doesn't even find something to say back to me. He just holds my gaze with a little smile showing at the corner of his lips. "Heart Attack, maybe? But you're young and healthy, so it would be very surprising... I don't know. I'm not sick, if that's what you wanted to know."

...which is kind of insulting if that's what he really meant and the harshness shows in my voice when I speak. Truth be told, I should be worried about it a lot more than you after knowing where they picked you up... and what possibly happened to you. And I didn't even start to think about it yet... It didn't even cross my mind when he was inside me, which is kind of surprising considering how I'm so focused on everything being clean. He had a nice cock with a good size and a healthy pink color, the rest went to hell.

''That's not what I meant...'' He starts, but I'm not staying for it.

I'm getting away from the bed again, away from him, but he grabs my wrist once more and pulls me along with him onto the bed again... The position is familiar from the one we were in when it all started with me on top, and I'm ready to get off before he says more fucking nonsense, but he cuts it all short by locking me between his legs ... He raises his upper body with his elbows and he says looking straight to my face:

''That's not what I meant...'' He repeats with confidence, but then the confidence crumbles when he continues at an overwhelming speed, like he's trying to end it before he can stop himself from saying it: ''More like; Fuck! I'm wondering if we can die from exhaustion!... because I want you bad and... I sure as hell want to do it again.''

He smiles, but it still doesn't hide the flustered look he wears when he looks down and I find myself following his gaze to his stomach and to the 'nice cock with a good size and a healthy pink color'... add hard to that too.

''And you make me excited whatever you look like.'' he adds with a little smile and a hand wandering down his own stomach... Urgh!

I say : ''You're crazy and we don't have time for this... We should be preparing to leave,'' to which he answers with a knowing smile... and he reaches for my own member to give it a half-assed tug. His smile widens, of course, because, let's be honest; I'm more than ready for this.

-X-

"Shit." And here it goes, I'm swearing again. He pushes his head back against the mattress as he bites his lips, but he still looks at me through his eyelids... His naked chest rises on inhales and my hands are on his hips, to hold the position. It is quite the sight to be honest. With the way he spreads his legs and keeps one of them resting on my shoulder to let me have better access, he is quite the sight to take in... And I do take him in while we both get over the discomfort. Yeah, because I succumbed to his advances and this position is what you think it is, I am literally in him right now. I have been for just a minute and I really don't know how this is going to be because this isn't exactly fun right now, but still. He is incredibly tense and every muscle is rigid... from his jaw set at biting on his lips to the leg next to my head passing by the muscle on his stomach. And, of course, he is tight as fuck. I don't even know how I managed to put it in.

His grip on my arm is quite intense and I actually wonder if he is ever going to let go a little... I mean; I understand that it is this body's first time, but we've been fooling around a lot to prepare him before and he was doing fine with my fingers... If he's waiting for it to feel good right away just because I'm in; he's going to wait forever.

"Eren... Calm the fuck down, I feel like you'll crush my dick."

He smiles... No, he laughs and it gets even tighter when he does. It's not that I dislike it, but when we're not moving; it's just a tightness that's kind of uncomfortable. Yet, Eren doesn't relax. Not one bit. So, I draw circles on his skin and I kiss whatever I can reach in this position to take his mind somewhere else... and it works, but takes a few minutes of light touches, of kisses and of sweet talking him into relaxing a little.

He pushes on my stomach to make me move and to emphasize his statement. "I'm good... Move." That's all it takes really. I pull back... almost entirely out and I push back in carefully to let him get used to it. 1st time; he breaths out loudly when I'm fully in. 2nd time; it gets louder, but his face keeps that expression where he looks not quite comfortable... and I'm kind of impatient I guess, because I want to make him feel good sooner than later. I grab his hips softly to change the angle... just a little by lifting his hips up. 3rd time; it seems to be better. I think I catch a little choked moan in his inhale. 4th time; I guess this one does it. He finally let out a little moan and he tells me to go faster somewhere between a few heavy breaths. And, of course, I hear his request.

Well, I hear his request for like 10 seconds, before I stop abruptly to a loud ringtone coming from my phone on the nightstand. Eren. Cellphone. Eren. Cellphone. My eyes keep going between them and I admit that it is quite tempting to just continue what we were doing until I get my fill of his breathless moans, his pretty eyes on me, his body bouncing on the bed and his tanned body under my white hands... And yet I keep looking to the phone, because I know it's either Mikasa or Petra. I can't disregard this and he knows what I'm thinking because he looks like he's going to kill me if I dare stop to answer.

-X-

In the end, Eren doesn't kill me... but he makes it quite clear that he came without me while I was on the phone, which is kind of killing me in its own way.

Let's say I'm not in a really good mood.

-X-

''And yet... You look so fucking good.'' he mumbles suddenly from his passenger seat and I can't really help but turn my head to give him a look. I... I look good?

What the fuck is going on in his head this morning?

''Wait... What?'' You seriously need to open your eyes or see yourself in the mirror because you look good. I'm average. Hell, some might even say I look kind of bad. Short. Pale. Sharp features. Thin lips. Straight nose. Little eyes. I almost don't have any facial hair... and I look like I'm just an angry guy. In french, they call girls like that: ''Une fille mal baisée'' and the most literal translation would be something like: ''A girl who had no good fuck in a while.'' Considering how I was turned into a mess by Eren in the last few hours, I'd like to think that's not my case.

...but I'm still a grumpy average looking guy.

''Earlier, when I said you looked like shit... and then, just now, because you look upset... I look at you and I still think you do..."

There's a little smile on his lips and he looks down at his hands on his knees... and he looks sweet. Very sweet. Kind of endearing. And, of course, very cute... The usual.

''...and I like you a lot.''

And, me, I don't need to answer that. I don't have any answer for that. I know already. I know he wants to say love, but he doesn't say it because he knows it's too much for now. It feels like a regression, because I've heard him say: ''I love you.'' before. I just never took it seriously. I didn't want to see it as something serious. This isn't a regression. To me, at least, it isn't. It's progression; because I accept his 'I like you'. I reach for his hand on his knee and I hold his hand tightly in my hand to let him know... I know. I know and I accept it. I know, I accept it and I return the feeling... It's just that I can't manage to say it out loud. It's been a while, but let me be honest; I like you too. You know already.

We've never been good with words and we never said those three words...

Two lifetimes later, I find myself unable to say it out loud, unwilling to make it real... with no more coming back. I can't, but I hold his hand in mine through most of the ride. While the first ride was quiet, this one is more lively. The car is filled with Eren's voice over the music playing in the background and I realize I don't mind at all. More than that, I realize I don't want him to leave when I park the car in front of the apartment. I'd bring him upstairs and I'd touch him again... and again. I'd kiss his tanned chest. I'd follow the light trail of hair down into his pants with kisses. I'd bite his thigh. I'd leave marks on the flesh at his hips. I'd love the feeling of his fingers in my undercut. I'd let him push my head further down when he wants more and I'd stop myself from choking, but I wouldn't complain... because I wouldn't mind doing it and hearing all the dirty little sounds he lets out of his pretty mouth. Yeah. Definitely wouldn't mind.

... and maybe I'd finish it all by taking him.

That'd be cool, but I should probably tell Petra I'm home now. It's late, but she can still drop Mikasa and I'll spend the evening with my little girl... as a responsible person. There's one thing we do in the car though. Fuck the old woman living next door and her report to Petra. Unbuckled and leaning across, Eren smiles under my lips when I kiss him. He exhales sharply when he moves out to breathe and I can only assume he'd be down to go upstairs as well, but he comes back to my lips and it stays that; a kiss. A normal kiss. As in, let's not take this too far. And honestly, I just feel like kissing him some more when I move my head back again... when he speaks against my lips, bashful:

''See you in one week...''

I nod and I almost lose myself in his eyes, but there's something in the background, outside the car, by the door to the building to protect themselves of the rain falling down... and my eyes linger. No, that's an understatement, they stop there and all I can find myself saying is: ''Fuck!''

There's a rush in my blood and I panic. I push Eren and I get out the car as fast as I possibly can. I almost strangle myself with the belt, but whatever... because I know who that is by the door. Golden hair... and eyes. Short. Next to a black haired teenager almost as tall as her. She crosses the distance between us with that walking pace; the one she has when she's upset. I vaguely hear Eren leave the car behind me, but my eyes are stuck on her, because I know. Oh Fuck, yes I know. I imagine their conversation going like : ''Who's that in Papa's car?'' ''Oh... It's a friend. It's Eren.'' And then... they witnessed it; how I kissed Eren, how I ran my fingers through his fluffy hair, how I kept him close to me and how I looked in his pretty eyes like some goddamned love story. They saw. They fucking saw it.

''Listen Petra.. '' I start, but she doesn't have any of my shit right now... She stops a few meters from me and she points a finger to Eren in an accusatory fashion... ''What the fuck is going on here, Rivaille!? You make me wait here and you're not even here when you said you would be... And I find you making out in your car with a teenager.''

''This can hardly be called making out...'' I object, but she doesn't let me place a single word. She cuts me right away and dismisses whatever I was trying to say by waving her hand.

''...with our little girl's friend!''

''Damn it, Petra! This isn't what you think is it!''

''Whatever it is, you are out of your mind if you think you can go out with our daughter's friend!''

''We're not going ou-'' I start in an attempt to speak again. And, of course, I'm interrupted once more. Although this time it's not Petra's voice ringing in my head because it is so loud... so overwhelmed with wrath. It's his... He screams.

He fucking snaps.

''SHUT THE FUCK UP!''

Wait... what? Did you seriously scream, brat? This isn't helping at all. Petra stares at him and suddenly her expression changes from frustrated to... I don't know; something like concerned. I want to ask what's wrong, but I don't get the chance to... she neither. She starts with : ''You...'' but the words get lost on her lips when he speaks again.

''Fuck you, Levi... Fuck you!'' He keeps going... and going with his finger switching from pointing at me... to Petra. ''And you; You don't understand anything at all. Stop talking shit about Levi when you hardly know what's going on... when it doesn't even concern you anyway!''

Stop... Stop... Stop. You don't even know either. This might be my ex-wife, but I like her... and she's right. Stop yelling. Stop being so loud and imperative, like you know better than anyone else. Just... ''Stop, Eren.''

''What!? I am not stopping! You're being a freaking asshole to me again...''

''I'm not...'' Ok. Maybe I did deny quite furiously our 'relationship', but we will talk about it later. Just you and I. ''Anyway, I told you to stop... just go home, I'll take care of this.''

It seems to me like he almost jumps on me... touching me, shaking me lightly and still incredibly obstinate and loud: ''No way!''

''Eren... '' I start and I really try to keep my voice even and cold, to be the mature guy in here... because he's not. ''Give me space... I told you to go home; Go home already!''

I don't like what I see, trust me. I think I'd have the same expression if I had pointed a gun at him and shot. He walks back slowly and he looks like I've let him down, like I've destroyed him... and maybe I did. Probably, but I can't have him here to deal with this when he's so explosive. He backs off slowly and he fucking throws my bag at my head like he doesn't care if I take it in the face (which doesn't happen because I catch it before). Then he yells some more: ''Fuck you, Levi!''... before running away and I can't tell if he was crying or if it was just rain on his face.

I feel like it lasted forever. In this lifetime and the previous one, we always liked each other. Even I did. And yet, my relationship with Eren... assuming we can say we had a relationship starting last night, it all lasted less than 24 hours. Less than fucking 24 hours. I fucked up in 24 hours.

I notice Mikasa's eyes following Eren as he runs off to the bus stop probably... and the way she looks at me, like she's getting upset with me, but it surprises me anyway when she stomps right in front of me to tell me; straight to my face:

''You suck!''

Let's be honest, it's not the first time it's happened... She said I sucked numerous times when she was upset because I wouldn't give her what she wanted. I kind of always dismissed it like every father when your kid becomes incredibly upset and screams at you. I don't accept disrespect, but I understand the frustration. I always tried to give her more appropriate ways to express her objection. Right now, I feel like... Maybe, just maybe, I really suck. I fucked up with her. I fucked up with Petra. I fucked up with Eren. I fucked up everything.

...Everything with a big E, because when we finally move inside; we realize Mikasa is gone.