AN: Thank you so much for all the feedback on the last chapter - lots of people seem to have different opinions about what they want to happen next, LOL. All I can do is repeat what I said last time - nothing is certain!
Chapter Twenty: Aftermath
True to his word, Hiram Berry called Quinn's cell phone shortly after ten a.m. to check up on the girls. He and Leroy were planning to visit Shelby and Beth's apartment that afternoon to see if they could find details of Shelby's lawyer and they wanted to know if they should pick up anything for Beth, or if Quinn and Santana wanted to meet them there.
"I think it would be too confusing for Beth to bring her over there," Quinn said, keeping her voice low as she glanced over at the little girl who was sitting on the couch with her knees pulled up to her chest. "But we do need to get some of her things – her clothes and her toys mostly."
"I'll go." Santana was standing close to Quinn, her arm securely around Quinn's waist, so that she could hear both sides of the conversation and Quinn threw her a grateful smile.
"Did you hear that?" Quinn asked Hiram, as she leant against her fiancée, Santana stretching her neck to plant a tiny kiss on her temple.
"I did," Hiram confirmed. "I'll text you the address when I get off the phone. How did Beth take the news?" he asked sympathetically.
"I'm not sure," Quinn admitted, dropping her voice even further. The little girl had barely spoken since her initial outburst, she'd withdrawn from them and made little attempt to communicate, but her eyes followed them reproachfully as they moved around the apartment. "She's quiet and subdued, but I think she understands. I thought she'd have more questions."
"Give her time," Hiram advised sagely.
"How's Rachel doing?" Quinn wanted to know and Hiram sighed.
"She's taking it pretty hard," he explained. "I don't think Leroy or myself have fully gotten through to her that this wasn't her fault. And it's bringing back memories of Finn."
"Well, tell her we love her, okay?" Quinn said softly. Hiram promised that he would and told Quinn to take care and he'd be in touch again soon.
By the time Santana left to go meet the Berry men, Beth still had not spoken. She mutely refused all attempts to get her to eat something and shied away from Quinn's repeated efforts to give her comfort. She retreated inside her shell, curled up on the couch, seeming to grow even younger and smaller under Quinn's worried scrutiny.
Santana hugged Quinn goodbye and promised not to be too long as Quinn pressed the hurriedly written lists of items to pick up into the brunette's palm. Then, it was just the two of them, and as Beth was still dismissing any and all interaction, Quinn started to clean up the apartment just for something to do. She paused mid-afternoon to call her mom and update her, taking the phone into the bathroom in case her emotions got the better of her.
When she emerged, Beth was not where Quinn had left her on the couch. Instead, she was standing by the window looking up at the tiny sliver of sky that could be seen between the apartment block and the neighboring building.
"Beth? Are you okay sweetie? Can I get you anything?" Quinn said softly, her heart breaking even more than she'd thought possible.
Beth turned slowly, looking up at Quinn with a puckered brow and watery eyes.
"Why didn't she take me with her?" Beth asked plaintively. Her voice was croaky from lack of use.
"You mean Santana?" Quinn was confused. "She'll be back soon, she's only gone out for a little while." Her answer seemed to frustrate the four year old who shook her head emphatically.
"No, my mommy," she said earnestly. "Why didn't Mommy take me to Heaven with her? Does she not want me anymore? Did I do something bad?"
"Oh, honey, no!" Quinn cried, hurrying over to the little girl and dropping to her knees so that she was eye to eye with Beth. "Your mommy loved you with all her heart, but Heaven's not the kind of place you can take people to."
"But she didn't say goodbye," Beth sniffled. "And I want to see her. She always kisses me goodbye." She paused and chewed on her lip, looking like she wanted to say more but didn't know how. Instinct told Quinn to simply wait and after a few moments the little girl started to speak again. "But I must have done something bad," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper, "because Santa didn't come and he only comes to see good boys and girls. Mommy told me that if I went to sleep like a good girl, Santa would come in the night but he didn't."
Realization flooded over Quinn as she finally understood what had been going through Beth's mind. Placing her hands on Beth's skinny shoulders, Quinn looked her straight in the eye. Twin hazel orbs flecked with shades of grey, green, and gold, so similar to her own, stared forlornly back at her.
"Beth, you did not do anything bad," Quinn said insistently. "You have to believe me." She racked her brains for a way to get through to the four year old. "How do you know Santa didn't visit your apartment after you went to the hospital?" she asked, and a flicker of intrigue flashed over Beth's anguished face. "It was still dark when you left your apartment, right? And Santa has lots of boys and girls to visit – maybe he came after Maggie brought you to Rachel?"
"Maybe." Beth didn't sound convinced. "But, I still don't know why Mommy didn't kiss me goodbye." Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled down her soft cheeks.
"Oh honey, there wasn't time," Quinn said, stumbling over her words as she tried to think on her feet. She was deeply afraid of saying the wrong thing and traumatizing the little girl further. She was barely keeping a handle on her own grief and she didn't know how to be strong for Beth. "But you could never do anything that would stop your mommy from loving you," she said, enveloping Beth in her arms and drawing strength from her warm little body. "You know how I know that?" She felt rather than saw Beth shake her head. "Because I love you so much," she said. "I love you and Santana loves you, and we could never stop. And your mommy? She loved you more than anything in this world. She asked me to take care of you for her. I'm so sorry that your mommy died, Beth, and I'd give anything to change that if I could, but I can't. But I love you and I promise you that I'll be here for you, no matter what."
Pulling the little girl into her lap, Quinn rocked Beth gently as she cried. Eventually, Beth went limp in Quinn's arms – she had cried herself to sleep. Wincing, Quinn gingerly staggered to her feet, trying not to wake the sleeping child. She laid Beth down on the bed, pulling the comforter over her and reached out to tenderly stroke her damp brow. When she was sure that Beth wasn't going to stir, Quinn hurried to her cell phone to call Santana.
"San, it's me," she said urgently when her fiancée answered. "Are you still at Shelby's? Because I need you to do something for me…"
When Beth awoke from her nap, she was irascible and tearful, but she seemed a little brighter than she had earlier in the day. She nibbled at the grilled cheese sandwich Quinn made her, and even managed a tiny smile when Quinn produced some chocolate from Santana's secret stash.
By the time Santana arrived home, laden down with bags of Beth's belongings, night had fallen and Quinn and Beth were curled up on the couch reading together using Quinn's iPad.
"Hey, squirt," Santana greeted Beth, rumpling the little girl's hair as she leaned over the back of the couch to kiss her fiancée hello.
"Hi, Tana," Beth responded shyly and Santana smiled to see that Beth had gotten her voice back.
"I brought you some of your clothes and toys," Santana explained, as Beth knelt on the couch to eye the bags curiously.
"You went to my 'partment?" Beth asked, frowning slightly. She turned to Quinn expectantly. "When can I go home?"
Quinn sighed. It seemed like they wouldn't be done with Beth's questions for a while. Every time she thought that the four year old understood what was happening, Beth raised a new query.
"You're going to be staying here with us, remember?" she said softly. Beth looked dejected but she nodded almost imperceptibly and climbed over the arm of the couch to look at what Santana had brought her.
"I thought you might be missing this little guy," Santana told Beth as she pulled a well-loved, worn pink rabbit holding a fluffy blanket out of the nearest bag.
"My bunny!" Beth squealed, hugging the rabbit to her small chest. Then she fixed a stern expression on her face. "But, her's not a boy rabbit, her's a girl."
"My mistake." Santana attempted to look suitably contrite but she couldn't help but be amused by Beth's confused use of pronouns. Beth looked appeased as she padded over to explore the contents of the other bags. Suddenly, she let out a high pitched squeak.
"Quinn! Look!" She picked up a canvsas bag with great difficulty, still clutching her bunny, and hauled it over to Quinn. The bag was filled to the brim with brightly wrapped parcels. "Look, Quinn," Beth said again, her hazel eyes sparkling with wonder. "Santa didn't forget me. He did come!"
"I told you he would," Quinn said, fighting a sudden urge to cry. Santana's jaw was twitching and Quinn knew her fiancée was struggling with the same flood of emotions. "Do you want to open them?" Quinn asked, trying to keep her voice light.
Beth thought about it for a moment, but then shook her head sadly. "Can I open them tomorrow?" she asked in a tiny voice. Clearly, Quinn and Santana were not the only ones struggling with a maelstrom of confusing and conflicting emotions.
"Of course you can, baby," Quinn told her, wrapping her arms around the little girl. "Whenever you're ready. There's no rush. We'll keep them safe." She kissed Beth on the top of the head, and closed her eyes for a moment to gather herself together. "So," she said with forced brightness as she let go of Beth and unfurled her legs from beneath her, "what are we going to do with all of your things? We can't keep them here on the floor. Shall we keep them… in the bath tub?"
Beth giggled. "No," she said slowly.
"On the fire escape?" Santana asked, cottoning on to the game.
"No!" This time Beth laughed out loud.
"Um, how about the refrigerator?" Quinn suggested.
"Quinn!" squealed Beth, momentarily forgetting her sadness. "You're being silly!"
"Well, where should we put everything?" Quinn asked her with an exaggerated shrug.
"In the closet!" Beth cried, rolling her eyes indulgently.
"Of course," Quinn said with a chuckle. "Why didn't I think of that? Well, come on then, Ms. Corcoran – you can help me get everything unpacked!" And with that, she handed Beth one of the smaller bags and marched her off in the direction of the closet.
It wasn't until Beth was asleep that night that Quinn and Santana finally got chance to talk properly. They sat on the bathroom floor with the door slightly ajar so that they were less likely to disturb Beth but would hear her if she stirred. An open bottle of red wine sat between them, and they kept their hands lightly clasped, Santana's thumb tracing gentle circles over the sensitive skin on Quinn's palm.
"How are you doing?" Santana asked anxiously, her dark eyes full of concern. Quinn sighed.
"Honestly? I'm just taking it minute by minute," she admitted. "I don't know if I'm saying or doing the right things. I just wish I could make it better for her. She's so tiny, San. She's just a baby and she doesn't deserve any of this."
"You're doing fine," Santana assured her, affording her a small smile. She exhaled loudly. "This is all just crazy, isn't it? I feel like we're on some sort of sick carnival ride that's never ending."
"How are you doing?" Quinn demanded suddenly. "San, you've been amazing, through all of this, and I just… I don't know how I can ever make it up to you." She scooted across the floor to cuddle up to her fiancée, and Santana opened her arms willingly.
"There's nothing to make up," she dismissed as Quinn settled into her embrace.
"But I just foisted Beth onto you," Quinn said uncertainly. "I didn't even ask you what you thought about it. San, just a couple of weeks ago, I was so mad at you for quitting school without talking to me, and now I've done something even more major without consulting you."
"Hey," Santana said softly, placing her thumb and forefinger under Quinn's chin and tilting her head so that she could meet her gaze. "This is totally different – there was never any choice here. Q, I love Beth, you know that. I couldn't see her go into foster care any more than you could. I want her here, with us." She paused and seemed to be choosing her next words carefully. "But Q," she said softly, after a long pause, "I don't want you to get your hopes up that this arrangement is for good. Mr Berry found contact details for Shelby's lawyer. He's going to call him tomorrow to find out if she had a will and to try and locate any next of kin."
"It's okay," Quinn said, even as her stomach churned at the mere thought of losing Beth. "It's not like the thought hasn't occurred to me. I called my mom this afternoon and talked it through with her a little."
"You did?" Santana seemed pleased that Quinn had opened up to her mother, her face lighting up in a wide smile.
"I did," Quinn confirmed. "She was surprisingly great about it all. She thinks we ought to get some legal advice of our own. She offered to pay and everything. She's even going to research to find a good lawyer for us."
"That's great," Santana said, planting a soft kiss on Quinn's lips.
"Hi," said Quinn with a low chuckle, as Santana's right hand slipped under the hem of her top to stroke the soft skin of her torso, just below her breast.
"Hi yourself." Santana nipped at Quinn's lower lip with her teeth and Quinn squealed. She gently lowered Santana down until the brunette was lying on the bathroom floor, then she swung her right leg over Santana's hips so that she was straddling her. Their kisses deepened and Santana's left hand joined her right, palming Quinn's breasts through the lacy fabric of her bra. Quinn moaned appreciatively into her fiancée's mouth.
"Quinn!" Both girls leapt to their feet at the shriek that came from the living room. They were by Beth's side in seconds, and the little girl flung herself into Quinn's arms, hyperventilating and sobbing.
"What's wrong, baby?" Quinn asked her in alarm, as Santana rubbed soothing circles between the four year old's tense shoulder blades.
"I couldn't find you," wailed Beth, her voice muffled by Quinn's hair. "It was dark and I was calling you but you didn't come! Where did you go?"
"Ssh, baby, it was a bad dream, that's all," Quinn comforted. "I'm right here. I've got you."
"Can I sleep in your bed tonight?" Beth asked tearfully. Quinn exchanged a worried look with Santana who nodded.
Wordlessly, Quinn scooped up Beth in her arms and carried her over to the bed. Fully clothed, she lay down, spooning the little girl against her body. Without hesitation, Santana switched off the lamp on the nightstand and settled herself behind Quinn, moulding herself to her fiancée's back and pulling the blankets over all three of them.
Two days passed in the same disjointed fashion. Quinn and Santana tried to keep a semblance of normality for Beth's sake, but it was hard without knowing her routine. It was easier now that Beth had her toys to keep her occupied, but she still experienced long spells of taciturn, withdrawn behaviour, and she continued to have nightmares. She still didn't want to open her Christmas gifts. On the third morning, Beth was almost inconsolable when she woke to discover she'd wet the bed, even though Quinn and Santana swore to her that it didn't matter. It took almost two hours for Quinn to settle her down enough to get her occupied with coloring so that she could start to think about calling the lawyers her mom had found for them.
Santana had gone to the market to get groceries for lunch, so when there was a knock on the door, Quinn assumed that Santana had simply forgotten her key.
"That was qui…" she started to say as she opened the door but it wasn't Santana. It was an unfamiliar dark haired man of around forty wearing a designer-looking suit. "I'm sorry," Quinn said, blushing as she surreptitiously tried to smooth down the hair she hadn't had chance to brush yet that morning. She was highly self-conscious that she was still dressed in the shorts and old Cheerios shirt she'd slept in. "I assumed you were someone else."
The stranger studied her imperiously. He looked vaguely familiar but Quinn couldn't place him.
"I find it best never to assume anything, young lady," the man said, in a calm, even tone. He held out a hand to her, and Quinn caught a whiff of expensive cologne. "My name is Oliver Corcoran," he explained, offering a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, "and I am here to see my niece, Beth."