I do not own HOBBIT. I only own my OC.

Easton POV

I watch Bofur fiddling with some wood. What does he do for a living? Oh that's right toy maker! "Hey, Bofur." I tried to get his attention. "Yeah, lass!" He said not looking at me. But kept his eyes on the wood. "What you making?" He laughed at my curiousity. He shrugged. "I don't know yet. Maybe a fairy. Or a princess." I took a look what he was doing. He was going a figurine."That's so cool!" I smiled as he laughed. "When I'm finished you can have it." My eyes must went wide as I gave him the biggest hug. "Thank you! You're amazing." He laughed once more. "It's alright, lass." I gave him a cheeky smile.

I move to get something out of my bag. Don't even ask how I can fit my swords in there. It's like the bloody TARDIS. Until Fili and Kili come back running. "Trolls! They've got two ponies! Bilbo is gone to get them!" They both rushed to say. Everyone literally dropped what ever they were doing and grabbed their weapons. I was about to charge with them but was dragged away by someone. "Huh?" I asked and turned. And see Gandalf." Oh hello." I said.

"I need to talk to you." He said. "But! But the dwarves!" I said. "Do not worry they are fighting. It will last for an hour." I sighed. "Alright what do ya want?" I asked. "I know that you are a fan of the writings of Tolkien." My eyes widen. How does one simply know him? He doesn't live in our world! I nodded slowly. "You know how it ends?" I gulped. Of course I do! I have read Hobbit so many times. "Yes." I breath out. "You can change that." I shook my here it is a fucking prophecy! Like nearly every fucking book has one. "What is the prophecy." He eyed me before telling me it...

"A girl dress in black,brown and green.

Sword in hand and lean on her lover's chest.

She not only saved the Durin Line but her friends.

She is a mess.

She dies, he lives, She laughs as he cries.

May this all change."

I furrowed my eyebrows in ? What did I just fucking hear? Oh yeah I FUCKING DIE?! Well at lease I am saving the Durin Line. Which is more important than me. "You can change the whole journey." Gandalf said. "Please, I am already playing a game with one of the dwarves. Does not effect the journey?" He smiles. "A lot." He replied. I looked down with sword in hand. "Can I please think over this?" He nods. I see the dwarves fighting still. I ran up next to Fili. "Sup." I greeted. "Sup?" He replied. "What does that mean?" I mentally facepalm. Damn my tongue!

"I'll explain it later!" I said as I cut the trolls leg. What was his name? Oh yeah Tom or Will? Nope it was Bert. The head of the three. "If we survive! It looks like we are going to be dinner!" Fili replied. I scowled at him as soon as I knew it. I was next to Thorin with a pile of some of the dwarves. I glared at the fire as if it had done something to me."East, are you alright?" Thorin asked. I nodded in Respond. Everyone was either over the fire or in the pile. I groaned.

"This is not normal." I hissed, as I rolled over to my stomach and lied my head on the leafie floor. I don't even think leafie is an actual word. I hate this part other than the ending. I see Fili trying to mouth words to me. I wish I knew but I don't. Come on Bilbo do something! You're turn to shine. As if I had a time to shine.

"Why bother cooking them? Let's just sit on them and squash them into jelly." Will said. If I recall they did have normal names For a troll. What was Tolken thinking about? "They should be sautéed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage." I think it was Bert... The leader, mostly likely. If it is based on the book mostly likely to happen. I don't remember ther movie. I preferred the book. "Ooh, that does sound quite nice." Hmm. I wonder what human taste like? Now I sound like Hannibal. Will, was the stupid one. Quite obvious.

"Never mind the seasoning; we ain't got all night! Dawn ain't far away, so let's get a move on. I don't fancy being turned to stone." Or was it Tom? Was Tom the leader? I give up on trolls! I hoped it would be like Harry Potter! They were kinda , hearing what Tom said, perked up. I smirked and kicked him. I nodded as he spoke."Wait! You are making a terrible mistake." A Terrible one? More likely A fucked up mistake.

"You can't reason with them, they're half-wits!" Dori shouted. "Half-wits? What does that make us?" Bofur said offenened. "Complete idiots with a brain size as a pea?" I shouted back the offer as most the dwarves glared at me as the others smiled. Hay! Just trying to lift up the manages to stand up, although still tied up in a sack. He faces the trolls."I meant with the, uh, with the seasoning." I stared at him. How can I help? I mean... Gandalf told me I can change the story any time.

"What about the seasoning?" Bert turned to Bilbo. I stopped myself from laughing seeing one of the biggest creature in Middle Earth going against the smallest creatures in Middle Earth. "Well have you smelt them? You're going to need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up." I growled. Then realised. "We haven't washed in days. I don't think we'll taste good!" Thorin glared at me as the dwarves yelled at Bilbo and I, calling him a traitor. The Others send their threats at me.

I rolled my eyes. The dwarves in the pile with me kicked me hard. Shit mate. I am going to have a bruise there! Not only I know I am not going to get sleep. But I'll be limping because of the dwarves' kicks. Where is their respect for women? Oh wait, they respect dwarf women since they are rare. "Ow, that hurts." Thorin eyed me. "Mate, leave me alone." Forgetting my manners. "Sorry, I am just in a prissy mood." As he nodded understandingly.

"What do you know about cooking dwarf?" Yes what do you know about cooking dwarves,Bilbo? Good question Tom."Shut up. Let the, uh, flurgaburburrahobbit talk." Dori was right, half wits. "Uh, the secret to cooking dwarf is, um-" Bilbo shot me a look."Yes? Come on, tell us the secret." One of them said, bert. "Um, yes, I'm telling you, the secret is … to skin them first!" I laughed as Thorin shot me a glare. Major objections from the dwarves. They threaten to beat and kill Bilbo.

"Tom, get me the filleting knife."I scoffed as Tom snarled."What a load of rubbish! I've eaten plenty with their skins on. Scuff them, I say, boots and all."Bilbo sees Gandalf slipping behind some trees nearby. I could see him as well. Man, Balin wasn't joking dwarves aren't intelligent "He's right! Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf! Nice and crunchy." It grabs Bombur, who is in a sack, and dangles him upside down over his mouth, about to eat him.

"NO!" I shouted. They stopped. "Look! Women flesh!" As William flings Bombur back and grabbed me. I shot Bilbo a look. "Not that one, she's infected!" I nodded in agreement. "You what?" I glared at Tom. "I AM BLOODY INFECTED! DIDN'T YOU BLOODY HEAR?" The dwarves stopped their complains as they were shock at my outburst. Man, I need sleep. "She's got worms in her … tubes." I smiled at the Troll as he threw me back to the pile. I landed on Thorin. "Hola!" I greeted. Then whine. Thorin looked at me, it was a concern look.

"In fact they all have it, they're all infested with parasites. It's a terrible business; I wouldn't risk it, I really wouldn't." Bilbo reasoned, I smirked. GO BILBO GO! "Parasites, did he say parasites?" Well, that backfired. Thanks Oin, no wonder dwarves are dim."We don't have parasites! You have parasites!" Of course you don't you stupid toe-rag. I shouldn't be saying that should I?

The rest of the dwarves chime in about how they don't have parasites and how Bilbo is a fool. Bilbo rolls his eyes as the dwarves mess up his plan. "Shut the fuck you will you?" i asked but the complains were too , understand Bilbo's plan, kicks the others. I chuckled as they send me then understand and go along with it. "I've got parasites as big as my arm." That doesn't sound completely right. Believeable I must say. Oin you got a wild mind.

"Mine are the biggest parasites, I've got huge parasites!" Okay, Kili no need to over do that All the dwarves begin proclaiming about how they're "riddled" with parasites. "I have the worst!" I shouted. "What would you have us do, then, let 'em all go?" Tom asked of course he didn't want to asked that question. "Yes!"I shouted while Bilbo said "Well..."

"You think I don't know what you're up to? This little ferret is taking us for fools!" Damn Tom, you went too far."Ferret?" Bilbo questioned. "I believe he is more of a meerkat than a ferret." I spoke up as Bilbo glared at me."Sorry." I mouthed to him. "Fools?" Bert asked. "More like idiots with a brain size of a pea." I coughed out as Kili sends me a crazy look.

Gandalf appears on top of a large rock above the clearing. I smiled. "The dawn will take you all!" Gandalf being Gandalf, has to make an entrance. "Who's that?" Bert asked. "Wizard!" I responded. But they seem not to hear."No idea." Tom said. "Can we eat him too?" William asked. "Don't they fucking think about it, he is the only choice to save us." I grumbled. He, Gandalf, cracked the rock to show daylight.

The Trolls started to scream in pain. "Now they fucking know, how it is to feel pain." I grumbled once more. Soon they turned to stone. We got out of the bags or off the pole thingy. "Hey sunshine, you okay?" Fili asked as he grabbed my side to keep me stable. "I think so." I replied. He frowned in my dismay.