A/N I am back at last! Yippee! I am truly sorry that it took me so long to update, but it was unavoidable. Life happening and whatnot …

Thanks as always for still following my story and reviewing. I am so very thrilled about all the responses I've gotten so far. We are at 400 already. Wow!

Many of you have requested that Bella should just drop the towel. To be honest I've actually toyed around with that idea myself (many naughty, and yummy thoughts) … before I've finally decided to drop it. As fun as it would have been it didn't really fit into my storyline. My Bella might be a little more confident but not that straight forward when it comes to sexual advances … not yet anyway. Remember, she is still a virgin, and therefore inexperienced.

This is the first part of the information sharing between Bella and Jasper. Jasper has to make a few difficult decisions what to share with her and what to keep a secret for the time being … the same goes for Bella.

Enjoy!!!

Previously …

I felt a little naughty … well a lot actually.

"Go ahead." I replied with a smirk, waving my hand, signaling her to proceed.

Chapter 16 Ready to talk, or not?

Jasper POV

Bella stood frozen in place with her mouth hanging slightly open. Even with this stupid look on her face, she still was breathtakingly beautiful. If anything it made her look even more adorable. But maybe I only thought so because my mind was … for the most part … on one thing at the moment.

SEX. No surprising response on my part though, considering that I was confronted with the image of my beautiful angel half naked. I swallowed down a groan that threatened to escape my throat.

It was quite reasonable that Bella was taken aback by my blunt suggestion to dress with me right there, watching her very closely. This whole thing between us was still new, and I knew that it was way too soon for her to take this part of our blooming relationship to the next level. I knew I had to be patient, even though patience wasn't definitely one of my strongest points, especially when it came to all things sex. But I also knew I had to give her the time she needed, letting her make all the decisions on that particular matter. Except, she was making it very hard for me (no pun intended) every time I was close to her, to keep my own promise with taking it slow. Right now, even more than ever before.

She really should get dressed, before I do something I might regret later …

Although my focal point was still on Bella's eyes, thanks to my vampiric abilities I was able to see every detail of her exposed body in my peripheral vision. The towel hid everything from the top of her breasts to a few inches above her knees from my view, but there was still enough to catch my attention.

I could see every freckle on her skin; I even would be able to count every hair on her body. Her skin was pale, almost as colorless as mine. It wasn't unusual for humans around here not having a tan, due to the lack of sunny days in this place. But then again Bella did grow up in Arizona, and she was already this pale the time she'd moved here. I knew she preferred the sun, but apparently she wasn't much into taking prolonged, extensive sunbaths, which was fine, because her skin looked more creamy than unhealthy. Delicious even. I couldn't wait to taste every inch of it, curious to find out if she tasted as good as she smelled.

All in due time …

There was a scare right underneath her right kneecap, shaped like a question mark. I was pretty sure it wasn't the only scare on her body, but certainly the biggest and most interesting one I could see. I wasn't surprised to discover such marks on her body. She was known to be a clumsy girl.

The funny thing was that I just realized that she hadn't tripped even once in the last two days, which made me think that she wasn't really as prune to accidents as Edward had made us all believe.

But seeing that she was marked like me, also gave me some hope. True, her scars were nothing compared to mine, in number or texture. But still, disgust was the last thing on my mind when I thought of her body. She was simply amazing, in every sense of the word. If anything, the little flaws on her body made her even more perfect in my eyes.

Would she be able to share my point of view on this matter? And even if she didn't think of me as repulsive, would she be able to deal with the reasons behind my scars' origin?

Bella didn't comment on my earlier request. She didn't make a move either, but she blushed furiously under my intense scrutiny.

Typical Bella behavior … My grin grew wider, when I saw her clutching the towel even more tightly then before. She was probably afraid that it might slip accidentally, and thus showing me the goods underneath.

Well, there is hoping …

Bella still stood in the same spot, almost like she was waiting for me to make a move. I could hear her heartbeat pick up pace, and as always her breathing got accelerated as well. She was definitely nervous, but even though I still couldn't tap into her emotions I was certain that she was a little excited too. I truly enjoyed that I had that effect on her, making her squirm uncomfortably in this way. Okay, maybe I enjoyed it a little too much. But at least her discomfort distracted me a little from my growing desire to get the best of me in the end. I really tried to remain on the bed, but it became harder with each passing moment, especially with her smelling even better after taking a shower. I was one step away from pouncing on her and taking what was rightfully mine.

Wow, hold your horses, Major. This is not the time to demonstrate your possessive side … I cautioned myself.

Bella's eyes were still glued to mine, almost unwavering. As much as I enjoyed this staring contest, I knew we had a lot to talk about before the night was over. And she was the one who was in need of sleep at night, not me. Time was running out.

At last I got up from the bed, moving very slowly, almost stealthily towards her, trying my best not to scare her by moving too fast. But despite my effort I closed the distance between us much quicker than I'd intended to. It felt like she was unconsciously pulling me towards her, or I wasn't strong enough to withstand her draw under the circumstances. The reason really didn't matter at the moment, because I could sense a change in the atmosphere around us.

I noticed Bella taking a small step away from me, lightly bumping into the door. First I smiled at her futile attempt to get away from me, but then I realized the alarmed look on her face. I quickly understood what I looked like to her.

A predator hunting his prey … shit … mayor fuck up …

"Bella." I called her name lovingly, reaching out with my hand. To my utter surprise she flinched away. I could smell her fear now. I dropped my hand at once and took a few steps away from her, thus showing her that I didn't mean her any harm. How did this happen? She knew I wouldn't hurt her. But something must have set her off. What have I done wrong now?

"I am sorry, darlin'. It wasn't my intention to scare you. I will never hurt you. You know that, right?" I spoke softly, hoping to reassure her a little bit more with my words. She has visibly relaxed when I've given her some space, and my words seemed to do the rest to appease her further. But she still had that confused look on her face.

"But your eyes are black." She stated, her voice shaking slightly. I could tell that her emotions were all over the place, even though I still wasn't able to get a read on them with my ability. One look at her face and into her eyes told me everything I needed to know. Well, almost everything.

I frowned at her answer for a second, before I understood the meaning behind her words. She thought I was hungry, which wasn't the case of course, but apparently she didn't realize that.

"Yes, I guess they are." I replied calmly. "But I am not hungry, if that's what you have been afraid of." To prove my point I put even more distance between us. I sat down in the rocking chair in the far corner of her room.

"I don't understand." Bella mumbled, taking a cautious step away from the door, but she didn't move any further into the room. I couldn't pick up any trace of adrenaline in her blood any more. This was a good sign. At least she was no longer afraid of me. That's a start.

"Hunger … or shall I say thirst isn't the only reason for our eyes to change color." I began to explain. I guess Edward hasn't told her about that.

Hmmm, I wonder why not … I mused. But now was not the time to ponder over this. I could see that Bella was really starting to freeze. And to be honest I couldn't take the sight of her standing half naked in front of me any longer either.

"Why don't you change into your pj's and then we can talk?" I proposed in earnest. She arched an eyebrow at me, and I couldn't suppress a chuckle this time. "Honestly, Bella. I only have your wellbeing in mind. You are freezing, and I couldn't have that. I promise I will keep my eyes closed the whole time … even if it will take every bit of strength I have." I winked at her, but shut my eyes at once. To show I wasn't playing any games with her this time I even covered my eyes with my hand. I smiled when I heard her giggle at my actions.

Bella POV

Jasper was right with his assessment. I felt a little chilly, even though the room was quite warm. But to be honest, being a little cold wasn't the only reason why I appreciated his suggestion to get dressed ... again. Actually, there was a more pressing reason at the moment. I couldn't stand being half naked in Jasper's presence any longer.

What had been just a convenient choice (and a totally innocent one I might add) at the time had turned out to be a terrible idea after all. Soon after I'd walked back into my room, I began to regret my decision. How could I have been so stupid? Even with the towel covering most of my body I felt utterly exposed. I was just glad that x-ray vision wasn't part of the vampire skill set.

Jasper just sat there on my bed, staying immobile as only a vampire could, his eyes clued to mine. But somehow I knew that he was observing my entire body … well at least the parts he could see. And the longer Jasper stared at me, the stronger my feelings of embarrassment and inadequacy became. To make things harder, I couldn't move or speak, feeling utterly trapped in his intense gaze, reminding me of the helpless rabbit being caught in the eyes of the snake, just before she would make her move to strike … in order to kill. I dismissed this disturbing thought at once, because I knew in my heart that Jasper wouldn't hurt me, otherwise I would have been dead a long time ago.

But then Jasper got up from my bed and walked over to where I was still standing frozen in place, stopping right in front of me. At last I was able to see his eyes clearly. Of course, my mind only came up with one explanation at the sight of his black orbs. Thirst. Thirst for my blood. Shying back from him was just a natural response. Funny thing though because this was a first for me, the girl who seemed to have no sense of self-preservation according to Edward and probably every other vampire who'd met me. Apparently I was missing a certain kind of gen in my genetic make-up.

I truly hated to admit that there was a moment when the thought I might be wrong about my assessment of being completely safe in Jasper's presence crossed my mind. It was just a fleeting thought, but it was there. My instinct fought with my mind and heart for the upper hand. But then I realized that I wasn't really afraid for my own safety, but afraid for him. I remembered how hard it always had been for Edward, and although Jasper hadn't shown any sign of weakness so far in the last two days, I knew that he couldn't be immune to the scent of my blood. It might not be calling to him, but he was a vampire after all. Being drawn to human blood came with the territory.

Jasper must have sensed my anxiety right away, even though I was still keeping all my emotions to myself. Or at least I thought I was. Anyhow, my behavior was probably easy to interpret under the circumstances even without the aid of his special gift.

Hearing his apology for scaring me and seeing him retreat quickly, thereby giving me the needed space to calm down, reassured me at once that he didn't mean me any harm. Of course I believed his words. I knew I really shouldn't have doubted him. But even though, I still didn't understand, and apparently neither did Jasper, what had gone wrong in the first place. I was sure the concerned and confused look on his face mirrored my own.

But how could I have known that there was another reason for his black eyes? Nobody has ever handed me a guidebook on all things vampire. Having something like that would come in handy in situations like this, would make things a lot easier for me to understand their strange behavior and react accordingly, but maybe it would be a little less exciting too. Who knew …?

However, it seemed like that Jasper wasn't as reluctant as Edward always had been in giving me answers. Somehow I was certain that Jasper would answer any question I'd ask … even the hard ones … well at least in time. I was more than grateful for that.

Jasper sat in my rocking chair, with one hand covering his already closed eyes. I laughed at his antics, although I appreciated the gesture immensely. I turned my back on him, knowing I could trust him not to peek. I opened the drawer of my vanity and pulled out some gray sweatpants, a dark red tank top and some panties. I dropped the towel and quickly got dressed. I picked up my brush from the vanity and tried to get knots out of my hair. When I was finished, I picked up the towel from the floor, and hung it over the backrest of my chair to dry.

Then I turned around again, and I noticed that Jasper was still sitting in same position, like he hadn't moved even an inch. He hadn't made a sound either, the whole time it took me to get changed and comb my hair, which couldn't have been more than three minutes.

I stood there in the middle of my room, a few feet away from the blond vampire, just watching him in silence for another minute or two. The only noises I could hear were the faint snoring sound of my father sleeping in the other room, and the wind rustling through the trees outside.

I wasn't stalling or anything, but once again I got enthralled by Jasper's mere presence. His blond locks hung around his face, slightly out of order, sort of begging me to run my fingers through them, feeling the silky texture. Jasper was dressed in tight, worn out dark jeans and a simple long-sleeved, black shirt. His entire outfit stood in stark contrast to his pale complexion, making him look even more otherworldly. I could remember that he'd used to dress very differently, more like Edward. But honestly, this looked more like his style. Especially the cowboy boots. To put it in one word, he looked hot.

Even though he wasn't able to see me at the moment I was sure that his other senses were telling him exactly where I was and what I was doing. To prove my point a small smile appeared on his face. I cocked my head to the side and bit my lower lip, trying to keep myself from laughing. I finally couldn't wait any longer and I walked over to him. I dropped on my knees right in front of him.

"I am decent now. You can open your eyes, if you want to." I said in a soft voice, barely more than a whisper. But of course he could hear me just fine. He dropped his hand and reopened his eyes.

"Thanks." Jasper said, exhaling theatrically. His eyes found mine at once. I was glad to see that they were back to their usual golden color. It didn't escape my notice that he took a quick glance at my new attire, nodding approvingly, before his eyes went back to mine. Apparently he took just as much comfort in the fact that I'd changed my outfit as I did. I smiled warmly at him.

Now that the nervous tension had left my body and my mind, I remembered again how much I've craved Jasper's touch only minutes ago. I laid my hands on his knees, feeling the same electric current running through my body just like every time we've touched. I shuddered slightly from the pleasure. Without any hesitation Jasper grabbed my upper arms, easily pulling me into his lap. I went willingly.

"I am sorry, my darlin'." He said again, slightly caressing my arms with his hands, only leaving me yearning for more. "If I had any idea … I really don't want to scare you … ever. I hope you can forgive me." His eyes were pleading with me. He truly seemed to be mortified by his earlier behavior. But it wasn't his fault that I'd reacted the way I did.

"Of course, Jasper. There is nothing to forgive. You did nothing wrong. I was just a little freaked out for a moment there I guess … that's all." I reassured him with words and a quick access to my emotional state. He smiled, pulling me into a tight embrace. "I am okay now." I whispered into his hair. I couldn't help myself but breathed him in, and he did the same to me, which made me realize something.

I pulled back. "Maybe I should be the one to apologize to you." I began awkwardly.

He frowned at my words. "And why is that?"

"Well, I should have remembered that my scent is stronger after a shower … at least that's what Edward always used to tell me. It must be hard enough to control your natural urges around me without the extra boost." I said.

Jasper cradled my face in both of his hands, very gently running his thumps over my cheeks. His touch was more than just soothing.

"You do smell better after a shower." He stated clearly, like he was in total agreement with my assessment. But his facial expression didn't match his tone of voice. I didn't like what I saw. The frown was back. He looked sort of … disappointed? "I've told you before, that thirst hasn't been the reason for my change in behavior … not today anyway. Apparently I have to elaborate on my explanation in order for you to understand." He said. I looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

"It's true that thirst is one of the reasons, maybe the most likely and definitely the most dangerous one. But the way you've reacted was only natural, and I will never hold it against you … ever. Your safety is the most important thing to me … and if you feel threatened in any way don't hesitate to say something or retreat. You know how easily things can run out of control in my world." He spoke very calmly, but the significance behind his words cut deep. I realized I must have hurt him, by falsely assuming that he has been tempted by my blood, and therefore implying that he was weak. I could kick myself for even thinking anything along that line. Tears welt up in my eyes.

"Oh, no Bella, darlin', please don't cry. You didn't do anything wrong." He said quickly, leaning in, only to kiss away the tears that escaped, while caressing my backside in soothing circles. When he pulled back, he looked deep into my eyes again, almost like he was trying to reach my soul.

"Breathe, sweetheart." I hadn't noticed that I was holding my breath. I inhaled sharply, trying hard to calm myself down. Jasper kept up with his gentle ministrations, which was very helpful … but also a bit distracting to say the least.

"Like I said, I don't blame you for your behavior and you've made it very clear that you are feeling the same about me. So, let's just say that we both have made the wrong assumptions, but now we are even. We forgave each other and can move on from here. Okay? We only need some more time. I believe eventually we will be able to read and understand each other better." He gave me a pointed look.

I nodded in agreement, smiling through my tears. I used the backside of my hand to get rid of them. "You are amazing, do you know that? Thank you for being so understanding and patient with me."

"Says the woman who forgave me right away … for trying to eat her." He chuckled, before he leaned in again, this time to kiss my lips. I quickly reciprocated, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my hands in his hair. I tried to pull him closer, but sadly he broke our connection far sooner than necessary. True I did need to breathe, but I wasn't out of air … yet. I pouted.

Jasper laughed at my expression. "Sorry to frustrate you, my sweet darlin'. Believe me; it won't happen often … or ever again. But I have one more thing to say on the matter, to finally close the subject." I took in a deep breath, crossing my arms, settling in for his final words. His smirk was replaced by a more serious expression, wiping the defiant stare of my face.

"Okay, I'm listening." I said solemnly.

"Even though I cannot say that I am immune to the temptation of your blood, I know for certain that I am far more interested in something else. Don't get me wrong, you do smell mouthwatering, but I don't want your blood … at least not as much as I want you." He explained, looking pointedly at me.

I blushed at his declaration. "That's … that's good." I stuttered.

"I would say so." A flicker of a smile crossed his features, but it disappeared just as quickly. It was obvious that he wasn't finished yet. "But even though I don't feel the urge to sink my teeth into your soft, beautiful skin all the time, you need to remember what I am. A vampire, whose natural food source is blood, don't you ever forget that."

"So no open wounds in your company if I value my life. Is that what you are trying to tell me?" I mocked. He rolled his eyes at my poor attempt to joke about such a serious matter, and chuckled darkly. I simply couldn't resist, especially when he sounded awfully close like his brother used to. Of course, I knew that being around vampires wasn't exactly trouble-free for a helpless human like me. I'd learned that the hard way. But I definitely wasn't looking for a replacement … one controlling boyfriend was enough.

"That would probably wise." Jasper muttered, before he dropped his gaze to his lap.

God, was he actually thinking that I would do something that foolish … on purpose? I wasn't a complete idiot. And I was definitely not suicidal. He should know me better by now. Or maybe he was still deeming himself as weak? Whatever the reason, I couldn't stand him acting like that.

I reached over, gently putting my hand on his cheek. He leaned into my touch, sighing. "Hmmm." I loved that sound, it almost sounded like a purr. He seemed utterly at peace whenever our skin touched, just like me.

"I know that you will never hurt me." I whispered softly. He locked his eyes with mine again. I hoped he could see the truth in them too. "You are doing so well … I don't know, how else I could explain it. But whenever you are with me … around me, it does seem to be … natural for you, almost making me forget what you are. Almost. Of course, I will always remember your true nature, but nevertheless … I feel totally safe with you, Jasper."

It looked like he was going to say something, but instead he cupped my face very gently, almost reverently, and pulled me towards him. His lips only brushed over mine, soft as a whisper. This gesture said more than thousand words. I am trying … and I am happy. I smiled. Small steps … give him time …

Our faces were close enough that I could see the color of his eyes very clearly despite the dim light in my room. They were mostly golden, but I could see little black spots in them too. My curiosity was back again.

"So, what did you want to tell me earlier … about the reason for your black eyes?" I asked.

"Ah, yes. I've never gotten to finish this train of thought." He replied at once. A small smile played around the corners of his mouth. "Well, better late than never, right? Our eye color also tends to change when certain emotions run high. Anxiety, fear, hate, rage … lust." He didn't say anything else, just sparing me a pointed look.

"Lust … Hmmm." I mumbled incoherently. I didn't know what else to say. I clearly needed more time to come to terms with this piece of information. But for now, it would explain some things … Jasper's sudden change in attitude shortly after our reunion at the Cullen mansion and his equally sudden escape yesterday at my house.

Well better lust than thirst … right?

Edward has told me that vampires were ruled by their natural urges time and time again, but I couldn't remember him responding to my presence in the same way as Jasper … not even once, at least not that strongly. Well, I shouldn't be surprised; he has made it very clear five months ago in the woods that he didn't want me. So apparently there has never been a reason for Edward to behave in this way. The only thing he has ever wanted was my blood. I understood that now.

Sure, I was more than happy that Jasper wasn't ruled by his desire for my blood, but realizing that his other urges were that strong … well let's just say as much as it pleased me to hear that I had a certain kind of effect on his body, it made me very nervous at the same time, probably only because I wasn't used to this kind of reaction in a man when it came to me.

"I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable again, but let's hope that will always be the only reason for my eyes to change color in your presence." He said, pulling my out of my reverie. I met his eyes, and couldn't help but laugh at the naughty look on his face.

"Come on, darlin', let's get you to bed." Jasper announced, already standing up with me still in his arms. I didn't protest. I saw no reason whatsoever why I should. A moment later I was lying on my bed and he was hovering over me. I pulled him down for another kiss, moaning when his tongue caressed my lower lip, begging for entrance. I eagerly complied. Too soon he pulled away from my mouth again.

"As much as I would like to continue this, and believe me I do, very much in fact." Jasper whispered into my ear, nibbling at my earlobe very gently with his teeth. "You have no idea who hard you make it for me … dressed like this … smelling like you do …" To prove his point he pressed his lower body into mine, causing me to buck my hips in response. It was very easy to tell how hard it was for him. A loud moan escaped my mouth. Jasper chuckled, before disentangling himself from my embrace. Why was he tormenting me like that, when it was obvious that he wanted me as much as I wanted him?

"But I think we have some other … equally important issues to talk about tonight." He pointed out, giving me a rueful smile. Seeing that, made it a little easier to forgive him for his constant teasing tonight. He moved us both into a sitting position, but keeping one of my hands trapped his. I didn't mind, quite the contrary. Touching him, even ever so slightly has become essential for me. "I promise I will make it up to you. How about I take you out for a real date?"

I smiled. "A date?" I liked the thought of that.

"Isn't that the normal way to do this? Dating, I mean? First taking the girl out to see a movie or something and then come back to her house to make out?" He tried to sound at a loss, but I knew that he was just playing with me.

I sniggered. "Normal? Yeah, right. Like there is anything normal about us." I scoffed, but smiled at the same time. "But sure, I would love to go out on a date with you, Jasper. A movie sounds good actually … it has been ages since I've been to the movies. And it will be better than taking me out for dinner." The double meaning behind my last words wasn't lost to both of us. And after the conversation we've just had and the understanding we've reached, we both were able to laugh about it without any fear of consequence. He kissed me once more, not as passionately as before but he put all his feelings of love and happiness into it which made the kiss that much more profound.

"Okay, that's settled then." He said, sounding all business all of the sudden. "Now, why don't you tell me more about your encounter with that Sam Uley guy?" Of course, I should have expected this kind of request, but I was still a little taken aback by the sudden change of subject.

I crossed my legs and straightened my back, this way settling in for a long and probably uncomfortable conversation. Jasper mirrored my posture across from me. We still kept skin contact through our entwined hands. I didn't know if he was doing it on purpose, but the gentle circles he was running with his thumps over the backside of my hands, were actually soothing my nerves. He looked at me expectantly, patiently waiting for me to begin my tale. I could tell that he was a little tense despite his calm façade. All the previous joy had left his eyes. They weren't exactly vacant but a little colder, guarded.

A/N Sorry, to leave you hanging there … again … well not really. Evil me! But the chapter was getting to long, so I had to split it. But don't worry the next chapter is almost finished, and it will be up in the next few days (not weeks this time). Promise!

Well was it worth the wait? As always I am eager to find out what you are thinking.