Chapter Five
Imprinting is a strange supernatural affect. It ties one person to another for the rest of their lives. Yet it is determined by one single decision. The answer is supposed to be simple. It's a yes or no type of question. Do you accept the imprint? Yes or no? Do you want to be a sister or a lover? Do you want to live or die?
That is the question. Life or death? If the imprintee denies the wolf, both will die. It will be a painful, prolonged death. One that is full of convincing debates, weighted questions, begging, and crying. There's a pull. You feel the tug and the weight of it on your shoulders. Sometimes it draws you to your imprint in your sleep. You can find yourself in your car or walking down the middle of the street in the middle of the night. Desire to be in the arms of your lover will be so strong that you will want to burst. But then there is that question. Do you accept?
If an imprintee does not accept and dies before the wolf, the wolf continues to live. He or she will continue to live on without the imprintee, the pain of the pull dimming over time. Yes, the imprintee will be gone, would have passed. But the main thing is…is that the wolf would continue to live. He would continue to protect the people and to live on and be the amazing person that he is. He would live.
If an imprintee does accept the imprint and then dies, the wolf follows. He would pass in a matter of days or a matter of weeks. He would no longer be able to protect his people or watch his family grow. He would no longer be able to breathe or see or hear or smell. He would no longer be alive.
I cannot bear the weight of his death. He is so young and strong and kind. He is a good person, a caring person. I cannot take that kind of person away from this world. I would be creating a disservice. It should be a crime for taking such an amazing man away from this world. A world that is cruel and has so many evils. To take a person who has so much potential to better a world that is so awful is unfair. But to also put him through so much pain is unfair too. For him to witness my deterioration from a decision that I made about him with ruin everything. He would blame himself. He would try to convince me to change my mind, to change my heart. He would beg me to fight and to try to live on. He would say that I am the only one that is worthy of his heart. He would say that we were matches, that we were soul mates. He would try to change my heart.
So how can I be so evil as to say yes to such a man? How can I be so cruel as to let a man suffer along with his loved one? I can't be that type of person. He's already been through so much. He's already lost so much. I cannot let him lose me too.
So now I am faced with a question.
Life or death?
"He's waiting outside, you know," Leah says, opening the curtains. I close my eyes against the sudden light, pulling the covers over my head.
"He's been waiting outside all night," I yawn out, throwing the covers off of me. My teeth start to chatter against the sudden cold, and Leah comes over to the bed. She pulls the blankets back over me, tucking them closer.
"This chemo is going to tear you apart," she mutters, going to the closet and grabbing another blanket. She throws it over me before continuing to clean the room. I stare at her as she moves about the room, trying to understand her.
"How was Europe?" I ask, sitting up.
"It was beautiful. Next time I go, I'm taking you with me. We can travel the streets of Paris and ride in boats down the Venice rivers. It really was beautiful. You would enjoy it. Now, what are you going to do about Embry? He's pacing now," she opens a window. I can hear Embry muttering, so my guess is that he's close.
"Close the window! I don't want him to hear us!" I whisper yell. Embry laughs out.
"I'll be able to hear you regardless!" I scowl at the window.
"Fine, keep it open then," I say quietly, feeling tired. Rubbing my eyes, I say, "I don't know. It should be such a simple answer, but it's not. I don't want him to be alone after I'm gone."
"Bella, don't say that. He will fight with you. He will support you, take care of you, and be very kind. You haven't even given him an answer yet and he's already pacing outside the window!" Leah practically shouts. I wince. "Sorry."
"Leah, what happens if I don't survive the cancer? He will die. He's too young to die. He's also a great asset to the pack," I say, rubbing my stomach. I feel nuatious all of a sudden.
"If he is too young to die, then so are you. Now here is your tea. Peppermint," Leah answers my unasked question. I take the hot cup into my cold hands, breathing in the minty aroma. It comforts me, and eases the unsettlement in my stomach.
"Is he still out there?" I ask, taking a small sip.
Leah looks out the window, her eyebrows furrowing. Walking forward, she leans her head out. "No, he's not. Where'd he-?"
"If you die before accepting the imprint, I will take my own life," Embry says. I jump, causing the tea to spill over the blankets. Leah, on the other hand, hits the back of her head on the open window.
"Ouch! By Taha Aki! Embry, make more noise!" Leah shouts, rubbing her head.
"If you die before accepting the imprint, I will take my own life," Embry repeats, walking slowly forward.
"Embry, you can't," I protest.
"I don't care. I heard amazing things about you before I set eyes on you. How kind you are and caring and intelligent and beautiful. How relatable you are and how you are such a family type of woman. You are strong and creative. I fell in love with you before I even knew you."
Slowly, I set the cup down onto my lap. He sounds genuinely concerned and completely serious. He's just standing in the doorway, looking at me. I glance over at Leah, who looks slightly uncomfortable. She's inching toward the door, but seems hesitant because of Embry. He's in a state where he could do anything.
"Leah, can you get me a new blanket? This one is soaked." I haven't taken my eyes away from Embry's. I can see a thin line circle of yellow around his irises, meaning his wolf is close to the surface. I have to try and keep Embry calm before he completely loses it.
"Oh, definitely. I'll get you a new cup of tea too," Leah says, replacing the wet blanket with a dry one; it's still warm from the dryer. After Leah leaves the room with the cup and blanket, I take a deep breath.
"Will you sit with me?" I ask Embry, patting the empty side of my bed. Embry nods, but instead of sitting on the bed, he chooses to sit in the chair next to the bed. My mom, Sue, was sitting there all night because, well, it wasn't a good night for me. Embry was outside the whole time in his wolf form, so I guess it could have been worse.
"Always the respectful one," I laugh, ending in a cough. Embry rubs my back soothingly; one of his hands find my own. Once my coughing fit is over, I lean back against the pillows.
"It's like you said, we have only just met. I don't want to have your dad kick me out when I just got in," Embry whispers, his thumb making circlers on my palm.
"True," I whisper back, wincing.
"Is it supposed to be this bad?" Embry asks me.
"The chemo reaction? Well, it's my first round. The oncologist said that it would be bad the first couple of times because my body is trying to get used to it," I say, squeezing his hand. He squeezes back and his lips tilt up slightly.
"Well, I'll be here through it all. You never have to be alone again," Embry replies, engulfing one of my hands into both of his. He brings them up to his lips and presses them together. I smile, my eyes growing heavy.
"You're tired. Go to sleep, Bella. I'll stay here with you," Embry whispers, his fingers rubbing against my cheek. I mumble something unintelligible before I nod off to dreamland.