Chapter 26: Levi

"Do you think the girl was pregnant?" asks a quiet voice... very quiet. I almost miss it. I almost think I'm dreaming, because I was slowly falling asleep. Our proximity lets me hear the question. For an instant, I don't really know what he's talking about. For an instant, I try to go over what was said previously, but we weren't really talking... There were a few words, of course. There was swearing. There was Eren's name. There was... hum... well... other kinds of sounds too. There was sex and then silent time spent spooning. And then, there was this question. So, yeah, of course, I'm not sure what it is about.

I sigh. I kiss the nape of his neck because that's where I can reach from my big spoon spot behind him. Is it me or am I always the big spoon lately? Not that I mind. I like it. I like that I get to big spoon Eren even though I'm the smallest and our bodies don't exactly fit together. I like how he always relaxes against me when I wrap my arms around his middle. I wouldn't sleep like that all night.., but when I'm too tired to care or just relaxing comfortably against him, I don't mind.

And, just like that, I get it. I know now. I know what he is talking about. The girl. The one girl Eren had. No, not Mikasa. The girl he fucked... or is it the other way around? Whatever. The girl working for Hanji. Of course, it's her. I sigh. For an instant, I almost feel like letting go and turning around in bed. Does it really matter, now?

"Who cares...It doesn't seem like there were any repercussions."

I don't really want to think about that either, please.

"Yeah... but... was she..."

Goddammit! Just get the hint and drop the subject, Jesus! But, of course, Eren Jaeger doesn't get it. Not at all. He continues. Maybe, he gets it. Maybe he knows I don't like this subject. Maybe he knows this is the one thing about what happened in his past that is actually... a sensitive subject.

"Yes, Eren, probably. You did put your penis into her vagina and came right in it... and Hanji probably had her see you when she was most likely to get pregnant. So, yeah, she was probably pregnant with your kid..." I say it all coldly. I say it like it doesn't concern me, but we both know it's not like that. I try to make this subject as 'casual' as possible because it's not a subject for me. It doesn't feel real... Eren Jeager had a baby at one point? No way. I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it.

And maybe, he tries to do the same. It's just that he doesn't just throw it somewhere in the back of his mind and forget it like I do... more like try to do. He talks about it. He tries to make it less important than it already is by talking about it with me.

"I guess... It makes us equal... kind of."

"Equal? What do you mean? Because we both had a kid?"

"...yeah," he starts shyly and then tries to excuse himself fast as if he slowly realizes this might not be the best way to say it. That I do not consider this kid part of his life like Mikasa is part of mine... and it's true. It's not just because it doesn't exist anymore. It's because it never existed for me. It never existed for him either. So, no, in my opinion, it's not really his kid. He was just... a donor, pretty much. "I mean... I know it's not like with Mikasa..."

It's not, but it's fine, really. I don't even get why he gets nervous over this. I hum. I raise one hand to run it through his hair gently.

"Nah... you're right. It was different, of course, but it's the same ultimately." Pause. "Not that I care though..."

Well, I don't care about the baby that's for sure... I care about the part where you had sex with her because they shared something intimate with you. Something too intimate. Something that was mine. That's all. And that's the part we have in common. And that's the part you're talking about here. Yes, Eren, both of us had sex with a woman and got her pregnant... but the pregnancy doesn't matter. It really doesn't. To me, it's not yours. It shouldn't feel like yours to you either... and you really should stop bringing this subject up and reminding me of her legs around your hips. Really.

"...but, maybe I should make sure to erase her from your mind and replace it with me," I start playfully. I say start, because I know... I know he isn't going to let me slide my hand down his stomach and under his boxers without following through. He gasps. He shifts a little under my hand to give me access... and the way he says, voice thick with arousal:

"Yeah, you should do that."

I'm more than happy to comply.

-X-

It's been a while since I last bottomed with Eren... or anyone else for that matter. It makes the perfect excuse to explain my laziness the next morning... and why I'm still in bed even though Eren isn't there anymore. When I reach out to him, I'm met with nothing but the covers in a bundle on his spot. I just know the bed is a mess and I really don't feel like getting up yet. Blame it on the soreness I feel all the way down to my toes, I guess. I don't even know what day it is... but that's probably because I've lost track of it since I still haven't started to work anywhere yet. It's easy to forget which day it is in that situation, but it all comes back to me when I hear the voices coming from the kitchen... because that voice isn't Eren's or Mikasa's.

''What's that?''

Armin Arlet is in my damn apartment at... hum... let me take a look at the clock... What the fuck! It's eleven A.M. I need to get out of bed. This only means one thing and I know which day it is suddenly. We're on Sunday. It's been a about a week since the Replayer and... Today is the day I drop Mikasa off at her mother's place. Today is the day Eren goes out with Armin for breakfast... and, hopefully, it'll be good for him to see his friend.

And talk to Armin about what happened... instead of me.

I hear Eren ask what Armin is talking about as I get myself presentable by putting some clothes on. I slept naked... I don't even remember falling asleep naked. It's not like me at all. I find myself even more sore than I initially thought I was, but I still walk my way through the hallway until I see them in front of the fridge. Mikasa sits at the table eating her cereal and I'm assuming Eren prepared her bowl because... Fuck! I doubt she'll eat all that. She's the first to see me... and she greets me first, too. It makes them turn around to see me, but I still get to hear the rest of their conversation.

''It's something Levi drew...''

''What is it... Is it on fire?''

Oh my god, Arlet. I hate you.

I still get to hear Eren getting flustered as he tries to explain that it is NOT on fire... and even worse when he realizes I'm right there... just there leaning against the wall. I knew it wasn't a good idea for him to put this drawing on the fridge, but he insisted like a little kid. It was bad enough to have Mikasa laughing the next day... and now it's Armin's turn to join the fun. Fuck off.

''Can't you see it's a fucking layout for a house, Arlet?''

And he totally has to answer with: ''...not really, to be honest.''

''Whatever.'' I groan. It's too early for me to deal with his attitude. I get it, we don't really like each other. I respect him to some extent, but it doesn't make me want to be friends with him... That's for sure. As long as he doesn't get anywhere near Eren's dick again, I have nothing against him and I'll let him be there.

Plus, I'm starting to feel bad for him... because if he really liked Erwin in the past, then he is stuck watching him live his life with Mike... same as with Eren. So, yeah, I guess I can give him some credit.

I feel their eyes on me as I walk over to the coffee machine... probably for different reasons though. I feel Armin silently asking what my shitty drawing of a house is about. I'm sure that's the thing going through his head right now. On the other hand, Eren just wraps his hands around me from behind and kisses my cheek softly.

''You really slept for a long time...'' he comments playfully and I definitely hope I am the only one who notices this... or knows what he actually is implying by that like a proud little brat. I sigh and I push him off me. It's not that I don't want your affection, Eren, but... this is not exactly the time.

''Come on, Capt'n Obvious. Armin's waiting for you.''

He smiles... and gives me another kiss. This time, it's on the lips. I don't really get it, because my breath is probably awful, but Eren never really seemed to mind these things that much. Kissing me seems to be more important than the breath. Oh well. One kiss. One small and fast peck on the lips, but I feel his smile on his lips when he does.

And, he's gone.

-X-

''Why... Why are you here?'' is the first thing I ask upon entering Petra's house... and I'm not talking to her or Auruo. I'm talking to the big blonde sitting at the dining table. It's barely past noon on a Sunday, a day both Mike and him have off. So, yes, I ask him why the hell he is here. My next question would have been about why he looks like shit, but I am stopped by Petra coming out of the kitchen with french toast... and looking at me while silently telling me to shut the fuck up.

''Erwin spent the night''

''... You spent the night? Where's Mike?''

The answer I received turned my day around... The eyes he lifted to me and the way he said the words chilled me. It wasn't because Erwin Smith blamed me. He didn't even know. For once in his whole life... his many lives... He didn't know anything. He was an innocent bystander. He was an innocent friend. I froze in place because I knew. I froze in place because I felt it in my gut... It was close enough to fear and I wanted to call Eren. I wanted to find him right away... to hide him. Erwin Smith didn't need to say anything else, but he did. He repeated it because he probably thought I hadn't heard it correctly the first time.

''Mike hasn't come home in two days.''

Two days can be a lot of time... or a short amount of time, but two days is way too long. I realize I took my cell phone out of my pocket... and I realize I'm ready to call Eren, but decide against it for the moment.

''Call the police,'' I say.

''I did.''

''What did they say?''

''They asked me if we argued... or if he might have slept somewhere else, but this isn't like Mike.'' And I do think so too... and I know this isn't like Mike. I know Mike and Erwin do not argue. When they do, they talk about it like mature people and make up instantly. They're that kind of couple where it always seems like everything is perfect... almost too perfect. It's kind of annoying at times, but that's how they are. So, yes, this isn't like Mike... Yes, this is incredibly odd and I can't help myself from thinking about the worst... and about what we saw when Eren was in the Replayer. Eren is the Eren. One wrong move... and she could find him. One wrong move and she could have known about Mike, too.

''Call them again,'' I insist strongly and I know this isn't the way to go about this. This isn't helping my friend... or anyone. So, Petra stops me from saying it again when no one answers or moves.

''They said we needed to wait a while longer,'' she says.

And I'm glad she is there for Erwin, because I can't be here. There's somewhere else where I need to go right now... and it's important. Really important.

''I need to find, Eren.'' I say quietly... more to myself than to them.

''Eren?'' asks Petra. She follows me around the house as I get to the door. I'm glad I can leave Mikasa in her care right now, because I wouldn't want Mikasa to come with me... if something ever happens. And Petra stops me right before I get to the door, forcing me to turn around and to look at them all. I didn't even notice they followed me here. I was focused on Eren, on texting him and asking him where he is. ''Rivaille... Do you know anything?''

I look at them... one after the other. Petra. Erwin. Auruo. Back to Petra. ''I'm not sure...''

I put my boots back on and my coat. I don't even bother buttoning my coat. It's on my shoulders, it's enough. Petra's hand leaves my arm and I open the front door. It feels like it takes me an eternity. My phone vibrates in my pocket, telling me Eren answered. I have to go, now.

''I'll keep in touch... and tell you if I learn anything. Keep me updated.''

I don't need to ask if they tried Mike's parents or if they tried his cellphone... even his work. I know they did everything they could to reach Mike. I know these two days must have been weird for Erwin... and I know he probably knows this is linked to the night Mike took Eren and I to his work, but I can't apologize right now. I have this feeling... this fucking feeling.

Next thing I know, I'm in my car reading his text message.

Eren: I just got back to your place.

-X-

Levi: Stay there.

Levi: Lock the door.

Levi: Do not answer the door for anyone.

Eren: W T F?

Levi: Call me if someone shows up at the door.

-X-

"Eren!?" I shout out to him the moment I get into the apartment. I shout it again and again nervously until he finally gives me a goddamned answer and shows his face at the end of the hallway. I can tell, just from the way he looks at me, that none of this makes sense to him... but it's starting to worry him.

"What's up? Why did you tell me to lock the door and call you if someone came... but not to

answer?"

But I can't ease him right now.

"Get your things, we're leaving" is the only thing I say when I walk past him. He walks behind me... so close, we keep bumping into one another.

"Leaving?... Where?"

"Just do it, Eren... I don't want to hang around here to wait for it to happen."

"What is going to happen?"

"Where's Armin?"

"He just left, but you didn't ans-"

I throw clothes in my bag. I don't even check if they're mine or his... or both. I throw them in and move on to the bathroom. I bump into Eren the moment I turn around and my eyes meet with his worried green orbs... probably as worried as mine. I interrupt his sentence. I do not answer to him... again.

"Damn it, Eren." I sigh and pass right by him again. "Make yourself useful. Get some food and snacks in the kitchen while I call Armin."

And that's exactly the next thing I do once he leaves for the kitchen. I search for Armin Arlet through my contact list while I throw a toothbrush and the rest of the necessities into my bag. I'm glad the blond answers the moment it rings... because I don't think I could've dealt with waiting.

"Hey, Levi..." he says, and I feel the question under the greeting. I never call Armin Arlet just to chat. Never.

"Mike is missing..." I start, and I know my voice is betraying me because he immediately asks:

"Do you think they..."

"Maybe?... it's a possibility. Leaving like that and not talking to Erwin for days isn't like him."

And, of course, the next question comes: "Where's Eren?"

"He's..." And then... just then... it hits me. The silence in the apartment. I could hear him moving stuff in the kitchen just a second ago, but there's nothing right now. Nothing at all.

So I call out to him... and I hear Armin asking me again that same question. Eren is... Eren is...

"Eren?"

No answer... I don't even realize my phone slips from my hand until I hear the sound it makes upon hitting the floor. I stop calling Eren's name... I find myself walking into the kitchen and taking a simple broom in my hand. Eren. Eren. Eren... Eren is...

I don't realize what's happening, really. It comes off as a blur because it happens incredibly fast and I'm not like I used to be back when we were all fighting titans. I come out of the hallway with my improvised weapon before I even see them. I hear muffled sounds and moving around. I'm surprised they managed to stop Eren from thrashing too much, but I realize they're holding him against the floor in a way that really doesn't give him much freedom to move around. It takes a maximum of ten seconds before the broom is out of my hand and I don't even get to see how many people are in my fucking apartment. I glance at Eren. I glance at the open door... that I didn't lock again after entering the apartment. That was silly of me. And then, my face meets with my fucking countertop so hard... I'm amazed I don't hear my nose breaking. Must have been the angle. I'm bleeding... I know I'm bleeding from somewhere above my eyes, because there's blood right in front of me when I open my eyes again. I hear giggles... I am pulled back up and I feel like a ragdoll. Fuck. I'm dizzy. So dizzy. I can't even make out Eren among everyone else. They pull him back up and it takes me a while to register that they are taking him toward the door.

I scream. Wait. No. Don't take him... Fuck! Let me go! But, the moment I start to thrash around, I feel him drag me back toward the counter. At least, it's cold against my swollen face... and I'm back to not seeing anything except the counter and my hair sticking to my face. Their conversation takes a while to actually register in my brain and Eren's screaming doesn't help me focus on anything... except his voice as he calls my name.

''LEVI!''

Loud and panicked.

''What do we do with him?''

''Levi!... GET AWAY FROM HIM!''

''Only the boy is mentioned. I'm assuming he doesn't matter.''

''NO! LET LEVI GO! PLEASE! JUST...!''

''Make him shut up for fuck's sake...''

''LEVI!''

Wait! I try to speak... I find myself coughing and speaking so weakly; it really doesn't reach anyone. I hadn't realized they had landed a few hits on me. I was too focused on my face... that's where it hurts the most. I hear Eren thrashing. I hear them telling him to keep quiet.

''Stay quiet or I'll shoot him...'' someone says and I hear the familiar 'click' I thought I'd never hear outside of a movie. The sound of a gun. Loaded. Ready. Probably right by my head. I swallow. It's difficult.

It grows quiet.

I hear the door close and footsteps... I hear my labored breath and it fills the silence, but the gun doesn't move. I can feel it against the back of my head now... Hard and cold. If I was a fucking believer, this would probably be my cue to pray to whatever God I believe in to spare me or something.

Please, just let Eren go somehow... is my last thought before I hear the gunshot behind me and Eren screaming even louder somewhere in the building... so desperate, it hurts.