Author Note: So, while a few of you have said that you like the last chapter, I have to admit that it was a bit rushed in the end because this chapter was actually originally attached to the last one and the last one actually stopped after Joker and Shepard called each other various kinds of asses. But, since this is so long, I decided to make it it's own chapter. So, enjoy.
Kaidan leaned heavily against the wall, looking out the window. He knew that he wasn't supposed to stand without either Adria or Dr. Michel in the room, but he didn't much care. The news from the other day still played in his mind.
"This is Diana Allers from the Battle Space. Today, I am joined by the Alliance's very own Commander Shepard," the perky newscaster had introduced.
The camera panned over to Shepard looking uncomfortable (Kaidan doubted that anyone watching would notice her discomfort, but he did). She plastered on a grin that was as fake as Allers' boobs. "It's nice to be here."
"So," Diana said, an intrigued look on her face, "What can you tell us about your latest mission?"
Shepard gave her an easy smile. "I'm sorry to say that a majority of the details is classified, but I'm willing to share what isn't."
"Go ahead," Allers prompted.
The camera focused on Shepard, something that, under normal circumstances would never happen, and she appeared pensive (and Kaidan knew that she was going to choose her words carefully). "Well, my team and I rescued a Krogan female," she finally said. "She was being held in a classified location for treatment," Kaidan knew, just from the look in her eyes, that there was more to the story, "when Cerberus attacked the facility."
"Now, there were rumors that, last year, you worked for the pro-human terrorist group."
Shepard's nose twitched in agitation at Allers' chosen wording. "Once again, my mission last year is classified, but, rest assured, had I actually been working for Cerberus, I would not being wearing an Alliance uniform today."
No, she hadn't worked for Cerberus, the better word would be with, or possibly used, Cerberus.
"Major," a voice commanded as the door to his room opened. As Kaidan struggled to straighten himself and give a salute, the other man waved his hand dismissively. "At ease," he said as he made his way to the window.
"Admiral Hackett, sir," Kaidan greeted him, wondering why the Admiral was visiting him.
They both stared out the window silently for a few minutes silently.
"I lived on Arcturus for a while- after the First Contact War," Hackett said suddenly. "Most career men and women did- with their families if they had them, or alone if they didn't.
"I was on leave for about a month or so- this was back when I was a Captain, I think- and I remember walking the halls of Arcturus. Even three years after First Contact, it was all humans.
"There was this little six-year-old staring out an observation window. She stood ramrod straight, her hands behind her back, and her chin slightly raised." Hackett had a small smile on his lips.
"Sounds like a perfect parade rest," Kaidan noted, wondering why Hackett was telling him the story.
Hackett nodded. "There was a little girl standing there doing what takes cadet's months to learn," he chuckled. "She looked thoughtful and, at the same time, decisive as she looked out at the stars- not in awe.
"'What're you thinking so hard about, marine?" I asked her jokingly.
"The little girl did an about face and threw up a salute that would make even the hardest drill instructor proud. 'Captain Hackett,' she said in greeting.
"I saluted her back as I said, 'At ease, soldier.' Had I not told her to stand at ease, she probably would have stood there at attention until she collapsed.
"She gave me a nod- really just a sharp bob of her head. 'I'm thinking about space,' she informed me as she turned back to look at the stars.
"'Anything specific?'
"'I'm going to join the Alliance," she informed me matter-of-factly with no uncertainty- sounding every inch the marine she wanted to become.
"I smiled, only half taking her serious- she was only six, after all. 'You're a little young.'
"She gave me a look that made me raise my eyebrows- it was a look that said, Don't talk down to me, I'll kick your ass if you don't stop." Hackett looked over at Kaidan and gave him a small smile. "Imagine getting a look like that from a six-year-old when you're twenty-six...and feeling pretty sure that it was a possibility."
Kaidan chuckled. "Sounds like someone you wouldn't want to cross when she got older."
Hackett gave a quick smirk. "'When I'm eighteen.' She looked up at me with large blue eyes that were caught between laughter and seriousness. 'Then I'm going to go through N training- just like Lieutenant Anderson.'"
"Some girls want to be princesses when they grow up, others want to be N7 operatives," Kaidan said dryly, thinking of Shepard.
"'Are you?' I asked, keeping my voice merely curious- she might've done something rash, otherwise.
"She nodded, her long red hair swaying with her. 'I am, then I'm going to reach N7 status.' When I asked why, she explained, 'Because N7s get the best, most hardest missions.' The way she said it, it was like I was the child, not her. 'Plus, I'm going to be in your fleet when I serve and you become Admiral.'
"'You wouldn't want to be in your dad's fleet?' Keep in mind that he and I were both Captains, neither of us lobbying for a promotion.
"'Nope, daddy'll need a break from bossing me around by then.' She smiled up at me, revealing a missing front tooth. 'You'll be Admiral Hackett and I'll be Commander Shepard.'
"I chuckled, but I didn't really believe her. Every time she does something amazing- like rescuing a female Krogan from a STG base on Sur'Kesh in order to cure the Genophage-, I think back to that conversation with that little girl."
Kaidan thought about it for a long moment before saying, "It doesn't sound like she's changed much."
Hackett shook his head. "Only difference is that, now, it's not only a possibility that she can kick someone's ass, it's pretty much a guarantee."
"How long have you known her, if you don't mind my asking?"
"I went to school with her father- Nathaniel's actually the reason why I enlisted at all." Hackett smiled- "I was in the room when Hannah had her- Nathaniel was on duty. They almost lost her, but she ended up coming into the galaxy raising hell."
"And she hasn't stopped," Kaidan snorted.
They stood silently, looking out the window. "I've made a career of protecting that little girl- hard as hell when she's N7 and is constantly putting her life in danger.
"I curbed a majority of the fall about sacrificing the human fleet at the Battle of the Citadel, tried to lessen the blow after her resurrection, the Alpha Relay incident...and the only thing I've truly been able to keep secret and protect her from is her breaking the rules against Fraternization."
Kaidan felt his eyes open wide and his mouth open a little- trying to figure out what to say. Finally, all he could manage was, "Sir?"
Hackett chuckled- that completely blew Kaidan's mind. "When you've known someone as long as I've known the Commander, you can tell little things like that." When Kaidan just continued to stare, Hackett nodded. "When I knew that Anderson had requested her, I placed you."
"Why?" Kaidan chocked out, finding it increasingly difficult to breathe.
"Various reasons. Mostly because you're a biotic- I don't believe she'd ever worked with one before."
"She hadn't," he said without even thinking.
Nodding, Hackett continued, "And she needed someone to lean on- someone she could relate to. I didn't assign you to the Normandy as an Admiral assigns a soldier- I assigned you as a concerned family member pushes someone at the younger family member."
"Does she..."
"No," Hackett assured him. "I did nothing more than give her the option- she still thinks that Anderson was behind your placement."
"You still haven't answered me- why me? Why then?"
Hackett fell silent, looking thoughtful. "Because you could understand her dedication to her career and you were just like her- unwilling to take easy shortcuts to avoid the hard decisions?
"Why then? Hannah and Nathaniel watched as their daughter hardened herself against everyone- save for her parents, Anderson, and me. Ever since Elysium, she focused on nothing more than the mission."
"Shore leave?" Kaidan inquired, fighting the urge to shuffle to his bed and collapse.
Hackett gave a harsh, humorless laugh. "Preparation for the next mission or, if she didn't know what her next mission was, she'd do research- on aliens and their culture, weapons and mods, or newly discovered planets.
"It wasn't until the Normandy that she began to connect with her crew- began to make friends and consider the crew as more than just crew."
"It wasn't just my doing, sir. It was all of us- it was mostly her. She was the glue- between cultures and species," Kaidan pointed out.
Hackett sighed tiredly. "She's pretty persuasive- almost with no effort.
"Have you ever noticed her ability to deflect a question about her past by twisting it so you talk about yourself and your past?"
"I-" Kaidan stopped. What did he really know about her- that she had told him? She was a Navy brat, raised on ships, led the battle on Elysium- the details she gave him were sketchy at best. "I guess I never really thought about it. She manages to do it without anyone noticing."
Straightening his posture, Hackett looked over the bruised Major studiously. "You've hurt her before, Major. She doesn't know that I know, but her reports after Horizon and Mars are far more telling than anything she could say. You're lucky that you haven't been shot- not just by her, but by those loyal to her."
"I did receive a few threats," Kaidan admitted sheepishly.
Hackett made to leave, but stopped, his shoulders tense. "One last thing, Major." Kaidan straightened himself as Hackett slowly turned around. "You've already admitted that you've hurt her." Hackett stared hard at Kaidan. "You need to make a decision soon."
"Sir?"
"She'll never tell you to stay away- no matter how many times you spit on her honor and loyalty," Kaidan winced at Hackett's harsh words, "so you need to make a decision.
"If you don't think you can get past your distrust and your own confusion, then you need to walk away from her and stay away. I'll come up with a post for you if that's your decision. It'll hurt her, but not as much as you already have."
Again, Hackett's words left Kaidan's mouth gaping. "And if I decide otherwise?" Kaidan finally managed to ask.
Hackett gave Kaidan another hard stare. "Then don't hurt her again," he warned. "As I've said, I've known her since she was born. There is no way that she is- or ever was- loyal to Cerberus."
"You never doubted that she is who she says she is?"
"Of course," Hackett admitted, "but then I talked to her, read her mission reports that she filed and sent to me after every mission- despite the patch on her uniform-, and I met her face-to-face." He shook his head. "She is still the same woman, Major."
Kaidan thought about that for a second. "You've given me a lot to think about, sir," he admitted. "It's just...I know so little about her- I don't even know her full name."
Hackett chuckled. "It's pretty ironic," he admitted as he gave a small smile. "Hope Ann Shepard."
Kaidan laughed. "It's no wonder she cringes when people say she's the hope of the galaxy."
Hackett nodded and looked down at him omni-tool. "Think about what I've said, Major. This is my only warning to you."
"Yes, sir," Kaidan said, giving him a salute. "I'll let you know what I decide."
Hackett gave him a sharp salute and left Kaidan- who stumbled to his bed and laid down. Sighing, he turned on the TV monitor and an image of an exhausted, bloody Shepard filled the screen. Soon, a teenager appeared on the screen in place of the picture of Shepard.
"She saved us- her and her team."
He stared expressionlessly at the screen, unconsciously massaging the area around his amp.
"Who saved you?" the newscaster gently promoted the teenager.
"Commander Shepard," the girl explained, tears of relief flowing down her pale, freckled face. "She had a Turian and a big human guy with her." She wiped her eyes and stared straight into the camera. "I don't care what anyone says, she's a hero and she's definitely not with Cerberus."
Kaidan swallowed hard. It seemed like it was one of those days that his past mistakes were going to haunt him.
The camera panned back to the newscaster. "There you have it, folks. Commander Shepard is out here fighting to save as many as she can- whether it be from Reapers, Cerberus, or anyone else. Until next time, this is-"
He snapped off the TV. Of course she was out there fighting the good fight- that's what she did. It didn't even matter if that fight made her look crazy or even seem like a traitor.
She had people like Joker, Chakwas, Garrus, and Tali who supported her no matter what.
Adria walked into the room with a bright, cheery smile. "That was Admiral Hackett, wasn't it?"
Kaidan nodded and sighed as Adria read his vitals. "Give it about a week and you'll be out of here," she informed him.
A part of him wanted to grab Adria by the arm and pull her to him and kiss her. He had to know- how else could he make a decision if not by using trial and error?
With a forced smile, he said, "That's a relief- I've had enough of the hospital to last me a lifetime."
Adria leaned forward and gave Kaidan a small kiss on the cheek.
Sometimes Kaidan hated his life.
Author's Note: This was almost not going to be put in, but, I just couldn't let it go. I just felt that Hackett and Shep might've known each other as she was growing up.
Also, I almost wasn't going to give Shep a first name, but it spilled out.
Feel free to tell me what you think- positive or negative!