Chapter 2
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As I watched him being driven off in the back of the police car, I finished my sentence, "I'm pregnant" I whispered as the tears rolled down my cheeks and I realised how truly alone I was.
I stayed where I was on that cold concrete step for hours just stroking my stomach and even when it started to rain I still couldn't bring myself to move, I felt like I was stuck there just waiting for him to come back to me. I heard footsteps behind me and I spun round hoping it was Cameron but it wasn't, it was my dad, he soothed me as he got closer "shush Lee, its ok it's just me, I was worried about you sat here in this rain, it's not good for you or the baby, please just come home with me sweetie?" I felt him wrap his arms round me, pick me up and place me in the car like I was still a baby myself and the whole time I remained un-moving un-speaking, just stuck in that same moment over and over again, we were so close, me and Cam to running off and starting a life together and now what, he's in prison, I'm 13 and I'm pregnant with his baby.
As we pulled up at home I started to tense up thinking of the horrible exchange between me and my mum earlier and preparing myself for another one when my dad spoke up, "she's calmed down now Leela, she was shocked before that's all, she just doesn't want to see you throw your like away, come on lets go and talk about this, all three of us, as a family, okay?" I looked up at him with tears in my eyes, he was always saving me, I just nodded and answered with a simple "okay". My dad led me through the door and my mum was sat on the sofa waiting for us, she took in my rain sodden state, opened her arms and whispered "I'm sorry, come here baby" I felt like I was 4years old in that moment as I felt my shoulders heave with fresh sobs while I ran to her and she wrapped me in her arms, rocking me to calm me, just like she did when I was younger.
When I was back to some semblance of normality, I turned and looked her in the eyes and said "I'm keeping my baby, it's my choice, my body, my baby and my life." My mum just looked at me with pity in her eyes as she asked, "do you know what happened with Cameron?" I shook my head no as she continued, "honey, he's been arrested for assisting in an armed robbery, he's not coming out of prison any time soon, you can't raise this child on your own." I looked at my mum, bewilderment in my eyes as I asked "but you'll help me won't you?" she shook her head no, "Leela, your dad and I have been talking and we've decided on two options, you can have the baby yes, but as soon as you have given birth, you will either place the child up for adoption or allow your father and I to raise him or her as our own, you will still get to see the child but as its older sister, not its mum, understand?" I nodded, stood up and walked upstairs to my room, I collapsed on my bed just as a whole new wave of tears consumed me.
How can she say I had two options, it was crystal clear that I only had one, if I wanted to see my baby grow it had to be as a big sister not as a mother, what sort of choice is that? I felt defeated, I knew what I had to do, I had to allow my mum and dad to raise my baby, that was the only way I would ever get to see and love mine and Cameron's child and still have some impact in its life.. There was no point fighting my mum, she always got what she wanted, I had no other choice anyway, I couldn't run away, I was 13, I couldn't look after myself, never mind a baby as well, no, I had to let my mum and dad take control and have my baby. On the plus side I was guaranteed my baby was going to have a good life, my mum and dad could provide for it much better than I could they could give him or her a stable life, whereas what could I provide, a teenage mum with no money, no qualifications and no hope. At least this way there was a chance I could turn my life around and maybe one day be fit enough to be a mum myself, however I had some terms that I needed to be agreed to first.
Two hours later I heard my name being called for tea, so I ambled down the stairs with my new speech fresh in my mind, as soon as me and my mum locked eyes, I held her gaze and said "I have decided to let you raise my child if that is the only way that I can be a part of his/her life, however I have some conditions" my mum just looked at me and nodded so I continued "I am to be told about all important decisions, I'm not saying you have to ask my permission but I need to know what's going on, I also would like to be there on all special occasions, first day of nursery, school, birthdays etc. but most of all I want you to allow me to be a big part of his or her life, I know that it's going to be hard to be around the baby to start with but I can manage, I can do this mum, I can, if this is the only way I can have and still see my child then it's going to be a lot easier than giving him or her up completely." I turned around and was just about to walk up the stairs when I heard my mum sigh and whisper "ok Leela, if that's what you want, but it is not going to be easy, I promise you that".