I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.
Watch What you Say
Ruffnut sat on the edge of her bed, watching as her brother once more unleashed the contents of his stomachs into the wooden bucket propped by his head. The boy was pale and very sick, but it just a violent case of the stomach bug. The girl had played her brother's sickness off as something he had eaten and her father had believed her.
She still wasn't sure how to break the news of his missing boot (of which he was still searching). But she figured it could wait to a later day.
"Dude, soon you'll be barfing up your stomach." Ruffnut remarked.
Tuffnut squeezed his eyes shut against the gross mental image and collapsed against his pillow, breathing heavily. "Shut it, Butt-Elf. Or else I'll vomit all over your bed."
Ruffnut screwed her nose up and didn't comment. She wouldn't put it past her brother to do something like that.
"Oh, will Astrid pay." Tuffnut said suddenly. "She will pay dearly!"
"You're going to have to wait next round for that, bud." Ruffnut reminded him. "There are no dare-backs."
"Who made up that stupid rule?" Tuffnut growled.
Ruffnut arched an eyebrow. "I did."
"It's inhuman to punch a sick person." Tuffnut said instantly.
"Oh, please." Ruffnut scoffed. "We're Vikings. Speaking of inhumane Vikings, what are you going to dare Snotlout to do?"
"I dunno." Tuffnut mumbled. "I'm too sick to come up with anything good."
"You've been in bed for three days. I don't think you're getting out anytime soon and I don't want this dare war to fizzle out."
"Ugh..."Tuffnut moaned. "Fine. I dare Snotlout to put up an offensive banner in the Great Hall. There. Go rely the message."
"You're forgetting something." Ruffnut said dangerously.
"Please." Tuffnut added hastily.
Ruffnut nodded in approval and got up. She left her house and entered the chilly afternoon air. Across the way she spotted Snotlout sitting on his front stoop, eyeing the sky. "What's up?" She called, making her way over to him.
"Hookfang took off and I have no idea where he is." Snotlout muttered, worried and annoyed at the same time. "I really wish he'd stop doing that."
"He'll be back." Ruffnut assured him. "They always come back. I think I have something that'll make you feel worse though."
Snotlout glanced up at her with an incredulous expression. "That's not how the phrase is supposed to go."
"Well, I don't think a dare from Tuffnut would make you feel any better so I decided to be blunt."
The boy groaned and buried his face in his hands. "What is it?"
"He dares you to hang an offensive banner in the Great Hall." Ruffnut recited.
Snotlout cautiously peered between his fingers. "That's it?"
"That's it." Ruffnut confirmed. "Being ill has taken away his creativity. I'm sure it will come back when the opportunity comes for him to dare Astrid."
"I've no doubt." Snotlout agreed. "Alright. I'll get right on that."
"I can't wait to see what you come up with." Ruffnut grinned and headed back home. Snotlout watched her go and rested his chin in his hands.
"Offensive, huh?" He mused. "Hmm..."
...
Hiccup was in the middle of sharpening an axe when someone rapped on the wooden doorframe leading to his workplace. He glanced up and was surprised to see his cousin standing in the doorway. "What's up?"
"Do you know where I can find some paint?"
Hiccup arched an eyebrow. After a moment of deliberation he asked, "Why?"
"I need it to write something offensive on a banner." Snotlout replied. "I managed to get a large piece of fabric from one of the sewers in the village. All I need is paint-and maybe a hammer and some nails."
"I think there's some leftover paint in the cupboard over there." Hiccup gestured towards the bank of wooden cubbies behind his head. Sure enough, dented metal cans glinted in the afternoon light. "The hammer and nails are in the box on the shelf."
Snotlout grabbed the desired items, thanked Hiccup and left. The small boy stared after him for a moment before shaking his head and getting back to work. "This will be interesting."
...
It took Snotlout the rest of the day to finish up his banner, but by the following morning he had finished it. Ruffnut had the nasty job of emptying her brother's bucket out and so she was there to witness Snotlout sneaking for the Great Hall ten minutes before breakfast, a piece of fabric clutched in his arms. The girl tossed the contents of the bucket in a random direction and ran inside. "Tuffnut! He finished it!"
"Lemme know what it says." Tuffnut mumbled into his pillow.
Ruffnut rolled her eyes and forcibly pulled him out of bed. Tuffnut's stomach jerked but he managed to keep it together. "Do you really want to miss this?"
"...no." Tuffnut admitted.
Ruffnut smirked and the twins left the house. Tuffnut held his stomach gingerly as they went. When they approached the doors they spotted Hiccup, Astrid and Fishlegs waiting for them on the stone steps.
"I told them what was going on." Hiccup informed. "Snotlout hasn't told us what he had written."
"I didn't even know he could write." Astrid remarked.
"Not much."
They all glanced up at the familiar voice. Snotlout rounded the corner of the hall and dropped next to them. "I can only write some words and the words I can write I have difficulty spelling. I did my best."
"What does it say?" Astrid asked curiously.
"You'll find out soon." Snotlout gestured towards the crowd of Vikings that were filing towards the hall. "How are you feeling, Tuff?"
"Like crap." Tuffnut glowered at Astrid. "Vengeance shall me mine."
"I'll be waiting for the day." Astrid drawled.
"What slander!"
The first, angered shout echoed from inside the hall and soon many more followed (most filled with expletives). The teens entered the hall and stood behind the group of Vikings that were staring, gobsmacked, at the banner hanging from the rafters.
Home of the Outcasts! Boo Berkians!
"Whoa," Fishlegs breathed. "Now that's offensive."
"Who wrote this?"
The kids jumped at the furious voice of Stoick the Vast. They glanced at him with innocent expressions, trying very hard not to laugh at his mangled beard. "I have no idea." Hiccup replied. "But this is an outrage!"
"It's disgusting!" Tuffnut added.
"Completely unforgivable." Astrid said seriously.
"In fact, it's so horrible I can't bear to stay here any longer." Snotlout said dramatically. He left the hall with his friends trailing behind, keeping their laughter at bay until they were a good distance away.
"Your dad looked ready to blow a gasket." Astrid giggled. "His face was priceless."
Hiccup smirked. "He's going to murder you if he finds out you did it."
"He'll never find out."
"Did you get rid of the evidence? Also known as the paint and tools?"
Snotlout blinked. "Oh, crap!"
Dare suggested by SnowFlower Frost :)
Next chapter: In which Snotlout dares Fishlegs.