Author's Note: Thank you all for the comments, the followings, and the favorites! Those always make me smile like an idiot for a while. Well, here is the second one this week (since Valentine's Day was yesterday). Enjoy!

There was one way that Shepard knew that would help her bury the memory of the last visit to the Citadel.

That was shooting bad guys.

Kaidan had insisted that it wasn't goodbye, but…well...he wasn't aboard the Normandy was he? Doctor Michel had sent her a message when she released Kaidan. He wasn't on the Normandy- that was all that mattered.

Of course, she wasn't either.

No, she was on Tuchanka- feeling the tremors from the mother of all Thresher Maws. The damn thing had to be massive in order to shake the ground like it did. Normal Thresher Maws were a bitch to deal with, but this…this was a whole 'nother scale.

She cursed herself. Kaidan had said that the first time the Normandy had landed on the Citadel…when he implied that she was a beautiful woman.

Damn.

"Shepard, look," Garrus said in surprise, pointing ahead of them.

"It's…it's green," Shepard whispered, walking towards it.

"I didn't think there was any left on Tuchanka," Garrus said in wonder as he reached out to touch a leaf.

"What you're seeing," Eve explained through the comm, "Is hope- hope for Tuchanka and for the Krogan.

Shepard said nothing as she looked over all the plant life. She was in awe at Eve's outlook on something so trivial- something as simple as a plant.

"How can something that you haven't seen give you hope?" she asked after a minute.

"Because it exists- it has been seen. The fact that it remains, despite the nuclear was, is cause for a belief that things can turn around.

"Things that have been seen, touched, heard, or tasted can all lend themselves to hope, Commander," Even explained.

James asked the question that Shepard refused to voice: "How do you tell the difference between hope and delusion?"

The comms were silent for a long minute. "It's a feeling you get in your heart- in your soul-…despite what your mind tries to tell you," Shepard said, surprising herself.

James looked at her in surprise, Garrus in understanding, and asked, "You speaking from experience, Lola?"

She shifted uncomfortably and shrugged. Garrus took pity on her as he said, "Sure she does. She hoped she'd beat Saren and stop Sovereign a few years ago; it was a delusion to think that the Council would pull their heads out of their asses and prepare.

As James chuckled, Shepard remained expressionless. "If you think about it, you really can't blame them, Garrus- it is pretty difficult to believe."

Garrus snorted. "We've dismissed those claims."

James, understandably, looked confused and shook his head. "D'you ever hope that you were wrong?"

Shepard gestured for them to move on. "Yeah. Problem was that I've been to Ilos, I saw Sovereign, and the Collector's blew up my ship and killed me."

"I guess that it was more of a delusion than hope then," James pointed out.

"Sometimes believing in a delusion is easier than accepting facts," Shepard murmured, again causing James to look at her in experience.

"Another experience?"

She gave him a forced smile that was believable enough for him (but not for Garrus) and joked, "Sure. I've deluded myself that you're a good marine- useful for more than flexing your big muscles."

"You wound me," James chuckled, pressing a hand to his heart in mock pain.

Shepard threw a sweet smile over at him that made him stumble. Apparently it was her goal of the day to keep him unbalanced.

"Not quite yet," she all but purred.

Garrus watched the scene unfold- unsure if he disapproved or not.

On one hand, Kaidan was a selfish bastard that had hurt Shepard more than once. If anything, the small woman (who carried the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders) in front of him deserved to be happy.

On the other hand, he knew that she still loved Kaidan. If anything, this was nothing more than battlefield flirting mixed with desperation.

She was losing hope.

"If you keep this up, Lola, I'll have to show you all the things my muscles are good at besides looking good," James growled back flirtatiously.

Garrus knew that he should interrupt- if only for her sake (of course, if Kaidan caught wind of this, James my end up dying)- but it was just so fascinating. Shepard and Kaidan had never spoken like this while groundside. There had been almost no way to tell that they were more than superior and subordinate.

"Again with the promises, James. What're you going to do when I come down to the cargo bay and order you to show me?"

Garrus coughed uncomfortably. "Shepard. Reapers. Maw. Krogan?" he finally managed to choke out.

She visibly snapped back into her Commander stance and gave a sharp nod. "Right. James, we'll continue this conversation aboard the Normandy."

"Promises, promises," James teased as he fell into formation behind Shepard.

Garrus tuned into her private comm channel and demanded, "What the hell was that?"

"I'm sorry?"

A group of cannibals came into sight and they all rolled into cover and began to take them out.

"Do you just have a thing for your lieutenants or are you just trying to get back at Kaidan?"

Shepard unloaded a clip into a marauder before saying, "Neither."

"You're still so far gone for him that his not coming back is killing you. You'll just end up hurting yourself more if you keep messing around with James."

Shepard finished off the last cannibal and snapped her attention to Garrus.

Part of her wanted to slug him. She was so pissed that he was able to read her so well. She didn't want- didn't need someone looking out for her. And, damn it, he was right.

The second part of her, the one she chose, was to ignore him.

Back aboard the Normandy, Shepard sat in her quarters and wondered if she could have doomed the Krogan to infertility- would she have been able to take the Dalatrass' offer?

Maybe if Wreav was in charge, she thought seriously.

Problem was that no species deserved to be fertile- to never have children if they wanted them.

She fiddled with a spare datapad on her desk that rested next to her necklace. She didn't know if she could have kids. What if she couldn't- what man would want her then?

No way in hell was Adria infertile.

Shepard threw the datapad and was on her feet in an instant. She stormed to a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of tequila, opened it, and drank straight from the bottle.

"EDI," she snapped once she lowered the bottle (which had been full, but was reduced to half).

"Yes, Shepard?"

"Please send Lieutenant Vega up to my cabin," she instructed, taking another drink of tequila.

All she could think of was him (Kaidan) and her (Adria)…together.

"He's on his way," EDI informed her.

"That'll be all."

"Logging you off."

Shepard sighed and put the tequila back and relaxed back on her couch. She was giddy.

Probably a result of drinking tequila from the bottle without any kind of chaser.

The door to her quarters opened to reveal a stunned looking James with his hand hovering over the call button.

"You going to come in or are you just going to stand there and look confused?" she demanded playfully.

James straightened his shoulders and dropped his hand. He strutted into her quarters and stood in front of the couch. Even standing still, his muscles practically throbbed- begging to be touched.

"What d'you need, Lola?" he asked, the slight accent in his voice sent a shiver of anticipation down her spine.

She stood up and stretched, loving the feel of his eyes on her while she slowly relaxed. Giving him a smile, she inquired, "Who says that I need anything? Maybe I want you to show me?"

His face betrayed his confusion at her words for a few moments while he processed that. Once he got it, he looked at her in surprise. "Commander-"

"James," she whispered, walking slowly up to him and placed her hands on his sizable chest, "don't call me that right now."

His hands rested on her small hips almost on their own accord as she tilted her head and gave him a seductive half smile that turned his stomach into butterflies.

This small, powerful woman was so far beyond his league.

Hell, she was so far beyond any man's league.

Her hands slowly made their way up his chest until she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her eyes were a contradiction to her actions. Her eyes screamed of a desperate need to be desired…but not necessarily by him.

But that didn't matter in that matter.

His hands moved up to bury themselves in her short, crimson hair. He had always known that her hair would be wonderfully soft beneath his large, calloused fingers.

Her lips were parted as she looked up at him with her large, baby blues. "James," she murmured through trembling lips.

He pulled lightly on her hair- forcing her head back so that he could have easier access to her lips. "Callado, Lola," he ordered, slowly lowering his face to hers.

James wanted to savor the moment.

When their lips were only a breath apart, Joker's voice broke over the comm.

"Don't mean to interrupt, Commander, but you have a high priority call from the Salarian Councilor," he informed her.

Shepard broke from James' arms and made her way to the elevator, saying, "I'll take it in the comm room," as the doors closed.

"Stay away from her, man," Joker warned.

"What? You jealous, flyboy? I thought you were happy with your robot?"

"I'm not jealous," Joker assured him, "but a certain biotic Major might get that way pretty quick."

James snorted as he made his way to the elevator. "Lola and the Major? Give me a break."

"Leave her alone, Vega- for her sake, if not for your own."

Author's Note: Okay, I admit that James would have been a fun, interesting LI in-game (it kinda made me salty when he wasn't even an option- FEMSHEP got screwed...just saying). Feel free to comment!

Next week, as should be obvious, will be the invasion of the Citadel.