I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.

Snake in an Outhouse

Snotlout limped up the slop leading the Thorston household, his backside burning. "Stupid Hiccup." He grumbled. "Sending his dang Night Fury on my butt for embarrassing him in front of the whole village. Who does he think he is?"

"I thought I smelt something burning. For a minute, I thought it was your brain."

Snotlout craned his head upwards and squinted at the twins, who were peering down at him from their roof. "Ha ha. Very funny. I'll have you know I can't sit for a week."

Ruffnut shrugged, a smirk playing across her lips. "Better Toothless than Chief."

"She's got a point." Tuffnut nodded. "So what brings you to our humble abode?"

The Jorgenson boy arched an eyebrow. He glanced at the crooked stable and droopy roof before giving a soft snort. "It's humble alright."

"At least our dragon doesn't blow our roof up every month." Ruffnut retorted.

"She's got you there." Tuffnut agreed.

Annoyed, sore and in the mood to see one of his friends perform embarrassing and possibly life-threatening tasks, Snotlout declared, "I dare Tuffnut to dump some spiders and snakes in the outhouse when Chief is using it."

Tuffnut gaped as Ruffnut burst into laughter. "Why are you daring me? She's the reason Hiccup sent Toothless on you!"

"No dare backs." Snotlout cast the female twin a frown. "But her time will come."

"Hasn't it come already?" Ruffnut asked, her mirth quickly evaporating as she ran her fingers through her choppy blonde locks.

"It'll come again." Snotlout corrected himself. "You got by tonight, Tuffnut. Or else you forfeit a pass."

Tuffnut groaned as Snotlout hobbled off. "Great. This isn't going to end well."

"For me it is." A dreamy smile crossed Ruffnut's face and she rested her chin in her hands. "I'll finally be an only child."

Scowling, Tuffnut shoved his sibling off of the roof. Ruffnut shrieked in shock as she tumbled into the hay bales below. "Whoops," Tuffnut drawled. "Didn't see you there."

Ruffnut screamed expletives and Tuffnut took his cue to leave, stumbling down the side of the roof and jumping to the long grass below. Cackling, the boy ran all the way to the grazing fields, which was often a home for snakes and spiders.

"Come out, come out, come out wherever you are." Tuffnut cooed, picking his way through the field and poking around with a stick. "Come on little snakey…I just want to use you to scare the Thor out of someone."

Someone who will probably banish me if I'm caught.

"Hiss!"

A long, green-brown snake darted out, catching Tuffnut by the ankle. Tuffnut yelped in pain and pried the snake off of his skin, holding the thrashing reptile out at arm's length. "Oh, I am hurt. I am very much hurt."

Gingerly, Tuffnut put weight on his ankle and was relieved when he could still walk. Two small bits of blood slid down his exposed skin before disappearing into his boot. Tuffnut looked around and spotted a basket resting against the barn. He put the snake inside the shut the lid firmly.

"Okay, got the snake. Now for the spiders."

Tuffnut left the basket by the edge of the barn and opened the massive wooden doors. It was dark, musty and smelled absolutely disgusting.

"If this is what smelling like a barn is, then maybe I'll do people a favour and take a bath." Tuffnut gagged, pinching his nose with one hand. He checked the deepest corners of the barn and, when there was no arachnid in sight, he checked the loft. "Pay dirt!"

A nest of dozens of black spiders scuttled around the wooden beams. Tuffnut grabbed a metal bucket hanging from a rusted nail and started shoving handfuls of spiders in, being careful not to squish them.

Satisfied, Tuffnut raced out of the barn and grabbed the basket containing the snake. The boy ran to the wooden outhouse that was nearest to the Haddock household. He parked himself behind the stall, placed the bucket and basket beside him, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

When darkness fell Tuffnut grew annoyed. "What kind of guy goes this long without using the bathroom?" He hissed to himself. "I don't want to stay here all night. My foot is going numb! And-I'm talking to myself. Great. I'm turning into Hiccup-a lunatic."

The sound of crunching twigs caught his attention and Tuffnut clamped his mouth shut. He peeked out from behind the outhouse and watched as a hulking figure opened the door and entered. Tuffnut quickly grabbed the snake and spiders and heaved them over the side of the stall.

"AAAGGH! Thor almighty! What's going-? OUCH! AAAGGGH!"

Tuffnut paled. He knew that scream very well-it wasn't Stoick.

It was Gobber.

Tuffnut turned to run. But instead of taking off like a shot like he normally did in such situations he crumpled to the ground. Surprised, he glanced over his shoulder to see that his ankle had not simply fallen asleep. It had gone numb.

It had gone numb because his ankle had swollen to twice its size and turned into a blue-purple colour. It was the same ankle the snake had bitten.

Tuffnut was allergic to the snake bite.

But as a deadly growl cut through the night air, Tuffnut glanced up at the spider-bite covered Gobber and could not help but think that his damaged ankle was his biggest problem that evening.

"You have one chance to give me a good, solid reason as to why you did this." Gobber said in a dangerously soft voice, holding the now-dead snake in his meaty hands.

Tuffnut swallowed thickly, unable to come up with a response.

"I'm. Waiting." Gobber growled, bending closer to the Thorston boy.

It were these moments in life, where Tuffnut was backed into a corner with no means of escape, with no reasonable excuse or a route of denial, that he used the last weapon in his arsenal.

"Um…it's Ruffnut's fault?"

Dare idea by EmmerzK.

Next chapter: In which Tuffnut dares Fishlegs.