I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.

Don't Mess with a Man's Weapons

"Look who's still alive!"

Ruffnut's dramatic exclamation caused Snotlout to scowl. He sat gingerly on the wooden bench beside Tuffnut. "Very funny. I got my butt beat and I didn't even pass the dare."

"That's how these things go, I'm afraid." Ruffnut smirked.

"Just you wait until I get the chance to dare you," Snotlout warned. "Then we'll see who'll be laughing."

"This is a dangerous game you play," Fishlegs warned.

Ruffnut rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, you've said that tons of times. Give it a break."

"Alright. You're going to be sorry you didn't listen to me when Stoick comes at you with his battle axe."

Hiccup shivered at the mental image. "Let's not think about that. Please."

"Hiccup's right." Snotlout leaned against the table with a devious smirk. "He's got his own dare to think about."

"Thor help me." His head hit the tabletop with a solid thump. "What is it this time? Eat a snake? Jump off a roof? Dye my hair green?"

"All excellent dares," his cousin mused. "But not the ones I had in mind right now. I dare you to ransack Gobber's forge-mess the place up."

Hiccup's head snapped up, his eyes growing wide with horror. "I can't do that! Gobber loves his forge and weapons! He'd hate me forever!"

"Does that really matter?" Snotlout snorted.

"Yes, it does," he replied softly. Gobber had been his mentor ever since he was a toddler. In the days where Stoick was distant and awkward, Gobber had been like a second father. The very idea of intentionally messing with something the man treasured so much made him feel sick to his stomach.

"Hey," Astrid said gently, touching his hand. "You don't have to do this."

"I know. But if I don't, he'll dare you, and I know you don't want to take a pass."

The blonde squeezed his hand. "If it means this much to you, I'll take a pass as well."

"Seriously?" Snotlout cried, frustrated.

"Well…what if we changed the dare up a bit?" Tuffnut piped up. "Hiccup can just do a bit of redecorating in the forge-nothing too serious. Then, he can paint that stupid catapult Gobber loves so much pink."

"Yeah," Ruffnut agreed. "Paint washes off."

Hiccup thought it over. He still didn't feel too comfortable with the idea. But he also didn't want to make Astrid take a pass just for his sake. He knew she took competitions seriously and she was most likely aiming to finish the contest with all her passes intact. "Alright," he finally agreed. "I accept the dare."

"Um, don't I have to approve this new dare?" Snotlout asked, slightly annoyed.

"Shut up." Astrid cast him a quick glare before focussing on Hiccup. "You sure?"

"Yeah. I mean, it won't be as bad as completely ransacking the place. And I'll totally wash the paint off the catapult once I put it on, regardless if he knows it's me or not."

"Okay." Astrid nodded. "Whatever you want. But remember, you're the only kid on Berk that Gobber doesn't despise completely. He could never hate you. That I'm positive of."

Hiccup shot her a grateful smile.

But he still hoped that Gobber didn't catch him in the act.

…

Night fell upon the island, the sky an inky black with a full moon shining brightly. Hiccup climbed downstairs, a bucket of paint in his grasp. Toothless glanced up from where he'd been resting by the fireplace. Upon spotting the metal can, he gave a hiss and glared at his human warningly. It does not matter how much I love you. You try to slap that stuff on me and your butt will be smoking for a week.

"Relax," he soothed. "This isn't for you."

Okay then. We're still cool. Toothless calmed down and rested his head against his paws. If you don't die due to your stupidity, I'll see you when you get back.

"You want to come?"

Toothless let out a bark of laughter. Hiccup could not help but smile. "Wise choice. Later, bud."

The lanky teen slipped out of the house and stole across the village. He reached the forge and hesitantly poked his head inside. Despite knowing that Gobber was at the Great Hall, he couldn't help but be paranoid.

"Redecorate a little bit," he echoed Tuffnut's earlier words. "Definitely no paint in the forge."

Studying the collection of swords, axes and clubs, he came up with an idea. He snagged the weapons off of their hooks and walked to the storage in the back. He kicked open the door with his foot and stacked the weapons inside. They wobbled precariously when he finished building the sharp and spikey tower and he shut the door before the collection could fall and crush him. Using the paint, he scrawled a quick message that read, Danger inside. Open only if desire impalement.

He took a quick look around the now-empty forge and hurried outside. Bertha, Gobber's beloved catapult, rested at the back of the building. Heart pounding, he dunked his brush into the paint and slathered it over the wooden structure. Pink drops splattered to the ground and his frantic swiping caused some to land in his hair.

"Phew," he finally breathed, taking a step back and studying his work. "Done."

"What in Thor's name happened here?!"

Heart freezing in his chest, Hiccup stood stock still for only a second before hightailing towards the barrels that lined against the hut next to the forge. He yanked open the lid and jumped inside the empty barrel, replacing the lid as he snuggled into the tight confines.

A great clattering sound echoed in the night, followed by Gobber's swearing. Hiccup pressed his hands over his aching chest, wishing desperately that he was a fast runner. If he had been, then he wouldn't be fearing for his life in a barrel. He'd be at home, safe under his covers.

The back door slammed open and the boy cowered as Gobber's enraged swearing increased in frequency as the man discovered his vandalized catapult.

Then, without warning, the cries stopped.

Hiccup bit down on his knuckle to keep from whimpering in fear. For a moment, nothing happened. There was only silence.

The lid to the barrel was then wrenched off, with such force that the container flipped over. Hiccup gave a yelp as he tumbled from his hiding place and to the dirt. Gobber's furious expression quickly melted into one of shock.

"Hiccup?"

Duh dun da, I'm dead.

A short chapter, but at least it's something.

Next chapter: In which Hiccup dares Ruffnut.