Forever Young
Normally I would have waited a couple of days to post again but my best friend was insistent that I post. Normally I'm the kinda person who drags out a cliffy as much as possible. So here you go. Remember incoming trauma.
Chapter 14: Calm Before the Storm
Sirius's POV:
When her hand touched my cheek my heart speed up. When her lips touched mine I'm almost positive it stopped beating. But only for a moment. As soon as I processed what was happening I began to engage in kissing her back. I entangle my fingers in her hair and she does the same to me. I push her back up against a wall and lift her so her legs wrap around my waist. We come up gasping for air after a minute or so.
I stared into icy blue orbs and she stared back at my steely gray ones. I lightly kissed her again but it turned into something more passionate. We kissed and kissed for what seemed like years we only stopped when we heard a voice.
"What the bloody hell?"
Our lips disconnected immediately and we both turned to see James and Spencer standing there with disapproving looks on their faces. Cassidy closed her eyes and I slowly lowered her to the ground. She hung her head and I looked anywhere but at James and Spencer.
"Care to explain?" James asked crossing his arms. I didn't dare look him in the eye. I could hear Cassidy begin to sniffle next to me.
"I'm sorry," she whispered before running in the direction of the common room.
"Cassidy!" Spencer called running after "Cassidy stop!" Leaving just me and James. I leaned against the wall and slid down it placing my head in between my knees.
"I screwed up didn't I?" I asked. I felt James slid down next to me and place a hand on my knee.
"Big time,"
Cassidy's POV:
I kept running until I got all the way to the portrait of the Fat Lady. But to my displeasure she was asleep.
"Wake up!" I hissed at the portrait "I said wake up you bloody portrait!"
"Cassidy!" I heard Spencer call. I groaned and sunk to the ground.
"Just leave me alone," I cried.
"Do you want to tell me what that was back there?" He asked angrily. I shrugged my shoulders and cried some more.
"Moment of weakness?" I answered softly hoping it would get a laugh out of him. I took a peak between my fingers. No luck.
"I'm being serious Cassidy, why the hell where you kissing him when you have a boyfriend." He asked a bit softer this time sitting down next to me. I only shrugged my shoulders again and cried harder.
"It just happened!" I gasped between sobs "I didn't mean for it to happen." Spencer wrapped his arm around me.
"I know Cass, I know." He said "You're gonna have to tell Andrew though, it's the right thing to do."
"I know," I sighed.
When I went to bed that night my eyes had been bloodshot and tears streaked my face. I went to bed before Lily or Marlene could see me so they didn't ask questions. I was the first person up that morning so I quietly went into the bathroom. My eyes were still a little bit red and I could see the tears staining my face. I quickly showered and dried my hair placing it in a two small french braids with only eyeliner and mascara on. I put on my glasses, pulled on high waisted shorts and a white t-shirt turned into a tank top that read 'Vogue' in black lettering. I laced up my black converse and went back into the room to pack.
As I entered the room Lily and Marlene were beginning to rise. They both had bed head and were rubbing the sleep from their eyes.
"Rise and shine!" I chirped as I ripped the curtains open letting sunlight enter the room. They both groaned and went back under the covers. Once I reminded them that summer was beginning they hopped out of bed immediately. I rolled my eyes and finished packing my bags. When they were both ready we placed our bags outside the door and went down for breakfast.
"Is it just me or is Talia Richardson giving me the death glare?" I asked as I ate my strawberries that morning. They both turned around to stare at the glaring red head.
"Nope she is definitely giving you a death glare," Marlene said as she went back to her breakfast.
"Do you have any idea why," Lily asked looking backward again.
I shrugged my shoulders, "Not a clue." But deep down inside I had an inkling of why. We finished breakfast then checked with McGonagall before leaving the castle for the summer and heading down to the train station. The train trip was quiet we opted for sitting by ourselves this time instead of with the boys. Mainly because I had made it a point to sit in a different compartment than usual.
When we arrived in London I bid my friends farewell and we made plans to meet in Diagon Alley later this summer. I maneuvered my way through the crowd and found Grace Potter talking to Marlene's mother.
"Cassidy! How wonderful to see you!" she exclaimed hugging me. I smiled and hugged her back.
"It's good to see you as well Mrs. McKinnon!" I told her. We talked for a while before Andrew came over to say good-bye. He pulled me over to a secluded corner so we could say good-bye.
"I'm going to miss you," I told him as he kissed me good-bye. He smiled and kissed me again.
"I'll miss you too," He said slowly "A lot." I smiled but felt a guilty feeling on the inside. I hugged him and watched him go towards his friends. I sighed and made my way back to Grace.
"Are they still not back?" I asked
"No they just floo'd home." She said pointing at the fireplace. I nodded my head as we made our way over. We waited in line and when it was my turn I grabbed a handful of powder and yelled out 'Potter Mansion'. When I got there my bag was waiting for me by the couch. I grabbed it and made my way up the stairs. As I got to the hallway. I quickly made my way to my room. As soon as I enter my room a door down the hall opened. I looked over but suddenly wish I hadn't. It was Sirius. I tried to get in my room and shut the door as fast as possible but Sirius barged in before I could.
"Knock much?" I snapped as I placed my trunk on my bed and began to sort out clothes.
"Seriously?" He asked "You're not gonna talk about it?
"About what?" I asked through gritted teeth.
"Enough with the bullshit Cassidy!" he hissed "Why won't you talk about that kiss?" I froze when he mentioned it. I knew it was coming but it still hit me like a plunge into the ocean in the dead of winter.
"Can't we just forget about it and move on?" I asked moving to separate out my clothes in my trunk.
"No Cassidy we can't." He exclaimed. I refused to talk as I continued to unpack my bag. He grabbed my hand and turned me towards him.
"Look at me," He said. I did and I immediately wanted to turn away. Looking into his gorgeous gray orbs just made me sad and upset at what we had done.
"Sirius," I sighed "I'd rather just forget about it. Can't we do that? Please, for me." I asked looking at him with a soft expression.
"I just don't see why," He said letting go of my hands and walking around.
"Because," I started "You are dating Talia and I am dating Andrew. I don't want to hurt them."
"Well you won't be hurting Talia because I broke up with her this morning," He told me. I stared at him dumbfound.
"Did you tell her what we did?" I hissed in a low voice. He shook his head. "Then why was she glaring at me this morning?" I asked myself. I shook my head and got back on track.
"Well I can't hurt Andrew," I said "He's good for me."
"He's pathetic and boring," Sirius scoffed "He's terrible for you,"
"No he's not he's perfect for me!" I exclaim "He's nice and sweet and gorgeous. He'll listen to me complain about my shitty life for hours and I'll listen to his. He's good and he's safe for me and-"
"Safe? What the bloody hell does that mean?" Sirius asked.
I took a deep breath before speaking again, "It means, he won't hurt me. Like I know you would if we were together." I spoke softly.
"I would never hurt you Cassidy! Don't you know that?" He asked with a hurt expression on his face.
"Not intentionally no," I said folding my hands "But you would unintentionally. That's how you are, that's who you are. And I don't want to be one of your play things. I need a relationship with someone who can keep me whole and balanced. I need sanity and security. And you can't give me that Sirius." I said. He nodded his head before storming over to the door and exiting the room. As he left he slammed to door shut. I slid down to the ground as tears sipped out of my eyes.
A week passed by and I was getting ready to meet Lily and Marlene in Diagon Alley for lunch and some shopping. I had just gotten out of the shower and had begun to dry my hair when there was a knock on my door.
"Just a second!" I shouted as I reached for my robe. I slipped it on and answered the door. Spencer stood in front of me with an urgent look on his face.
"What's up Spence?" I asked. He opened his mouth then closed it. He entered the room and closed the door and sat down on the bed.
"We have to talk," He said patting the seat next to him. I gave him a questioning look then complied and sat down next to him.
"As you know dad wrote in his will that we were to stay here until we graduated from Hogwarts." I nod my head and he continues "Well since I've graduated I've decided to start looking for a flat of my own."
"What?" I exclaimed jumping up.
"I'm sorry Cass, but if I'm gonna start Auror Training I'm gonna need a place of my own." He told me guiding me back to my seat "Some friends and I are going flat hunting the day after tomorrow." I'm silent for a moment before I begin to nod my head.
"If that's what you want then I sure as hell can't stop you," I said standing up to go into the bathroom.
"Cassidy," Spencer sighed.
"Don't you even care that dad is gone?" I shrieked whipping around "Don't you even care that I'm going mental trying to keep myself together? You can't move out, you can't join the Aurors! Spencer I need you here with me!" I shouted. I was breathing heavy on the brink of tears. Spencer moved forward and wrapped his arms around me.
"I have to do what's best for me Cass," he told me "The Potters are here for you and will be taking care of you. I have to start acting like an adult now that I'm no longer in school." I sighed into his chest and nodded.
"Ok, but promise you'll visit?" I said stepping back. He smiled and nodded.
"You got it sassy," He smirked. I laughed as he kissed my temple and left the room. I let out a deep breath and finished getting ready. I dried my hair and curled it into messy curls. I pulled on a pair of floral high waisted shorts, ruffled white tank top, and a cropped jean jacket. I then hesitated then clasped on the necklace Sirius had given to me last Christmas. I strapped on white wedges with a blue trim to match my shorts. I pulled on my glasses and grabbed a cross body bag. I put my wallet and any other essentials in the bag and made my way down stairs. Grace was in the living room so I stopped to say good-bye.
"I'm leaving now Grace," I said placing my bag down to hug her "I should be back before dinner,"
"Alright dear," she said hugging me as well "Be careful now,"
"Always," I said a gleam in my eye.
Several hours later Lily, Marlene, and I sat at a table outside the ice cream parlor in Diagon Alley. We were laughing and having a great time.
"Did James actually do that?" Lily giggled. I nod my head and take a spoonful of my peppermint ice cream.
"I swear to Merlin," I laughed. "Funniest thing I've seen in years."
"So Cassidy," Marlene started. "How's the Sirius thing going?" I had told them on the train ride home about what had happened between us. I had also mentioned earlier today what had happened after I got home.
I sighed, "It's not, he's barely looked at me since we've been home." I grumbled. He barely comes out of his and James room and when he does he avoids me as much as possible.
"Did you try apologizing?" Lily asked. I looked down at my ice cream and mumbled out an answer. "What was that?" she asked again. I let out a deep sigh.
"I said, no I haven't." I admitted "But he hasn't made any try to talk to me."
"Cassidy," Marlene started. "You basically told him he wasn't good enough for you. I'd be pretty upset if someone said that to me." I groaned and banged my head on the table.
"What do I do?" I moaned.
"What's wrong with her?" I heard a familiar voice ask. I looked up and my stomach swooped. There stood James with Remus and Sirius behind him. Remus had moved towards Marlene and kissed her cheek. They started dating right after the Easter dance. James as behind Lily's chair, the two of them had gotten rather close as well. Sirius stood to the side of James next to Remus. I could see the uncomfortable look on his face matching how I felt.
"Nothing is wrong with me," I heard myself saying. "I'm just tired." I lied. Now normally I'm a pretty decent liar. But even I knew what I had just said was complete and utter bullshit.
"Sure tired," James teased. I rolled my eyes and continued to eat my ice cream.
"Well Marlene we best be going now." Remus said after a considerably long awkward silence. I gave Marlene a look and she suddenly looked apologetic.
"Right I forgot," she said throwing away her ice cream. "Remus and I are having dinner with his parents tonight. Sorry girls I'm gonna have to cut this short."
"Have fun Marls." I said hugging her as she leaned down to hug me. She hugged Lily then her and Remus went down the lane back to The Leaky Cauldron.
"You know what I have to go down to Flourish and Blotts for a new Quidditch book I've been meaning to get." James said after they had left. I could see him give Lily a look through his glasses. She nodded her head.
"You know what I'll come with. I have a book I need to pick up as well." She said standing up and throwing away her ice cream. She reached down and hugged me.
"I'll owl you later alright?" she told me. I nodded and watched her and James retreating forms leaving Sirius and me by ourselves.
"And then there were two," I laughed taking a bite of ice cream to ease the awkwardness. Sirius only rolled his eyes and started to leave as well. I sighed and stood up throwing away my ice cream and went down the street after him.
"Sirius wait," I called catching up to him. "Please can we talk?" He stopped and sighed. He didn't say anything for a while but then he finally nodded his head.
"Not here," He said. He continued to walk and I followed him. We went all the way to The Leaky Cauldron and left Diagon Alley. We walked in muggle London for a while until he stopped at a little Café. We entered and sat down. I opened my mouth to begin talking but he held up a finger and went to the counter. Moments later he reappeared with two to-go cups of what looked like iced tea and lemonade.
"So," he said taking a sip of the lemonade "Talk." I took a sip of the iced tea before begin to speak.
"I'm sorry," I said "I'm sorry for what I said to you, and I'm sorry for the way I acted. I wish things didn't have to be the way they are but they do. I can't hurt Andrew, but I don't want to lose you." I took a deep breath and another sip of tea. We were both silent for a while occasionally taking sips from our drinks. Finally he spoke.
"You're wearing the necklace." He stated pointing at my neck. I looked down and smiled forgetting that I had it on.
"I am," I nodded. He looked at me, I looked at him. We smiled. Just by those few sentences exchanged and gestures made, I knew we were ok again.
Kinda like the chapter say's this is just the calm before the storm. There is defiantly more hellish things to come within the next few chapters. Have a fabulous Sunday my friends.
XOXO,
SophieElizabeth630