AN: This was originally going to be tacked onto the last chapter, but I kept tweaking it and I wasn't thrilled with it by the time the last chapter went out. This is the final chapter that'll be of them still at dock on the Citadel after the Coup attempt- I promise!

Shepard leaned tiredly on the wall in the airlock, anxiously awaiting laying down in her bed for a long nights rest- or, at least, a nap- after plotting a course to…well…she'd have to check her messages to see if there was anything absolutely dire that needed immediate attention.

While she appreciated the Council's gratitude in revealing Udina's plot, they could have cut their gratitude short by a few hours. As it was, it was closing in on, around, 2200 hours (and she had arrived at the Council Chambers at about 1700 hours).

As soon as the doors opened, James gave her a wide grin that let her know that he had been waiting for her. She straightened up and replaced her exhausted look with one of flirtation- she couldn't help herself, it was just something she did automatically with James.

"You waiting for someone, James?" she taunted, giving him a look that screamed predatory.

He looked her up and down with a hungry expression that said it all. "Yeah, and she finally arrived," he smirked, letting his eyes linger on her chest and then moved up to linger on her lips.

Had it been another time or had he been someone else, she might have reprimanded him, but, it wasn't another time and he wasn't someone else. Who was really going to enforce fraternization rules (not that she was going to go that far…maybe)?

Plus, she wasn't in a relationship with anyone.

He was like a nice place to breathe. He had the utmost respect for her, but he didn't treat her different just because of her name, rank, and history. To him (when they weren't in battle) she was just Lola.

She walked slowly to him, letting her hips sashay in a way that had his eyes moving down to them. She stopped right in front of him and tilted her head back with a small smile. "Oh yeah?"

James placed a large hand on her hip and another on the side of her neck and smirked. "Pretty little thing," he murmured. "Looks like she could be broken in half, but her looks are deceptive. She's been known to put Krogan in their place."

"Sounds like a real hardass," she laughed, leaning in closer to him.

James lowered his voice where it seemed like nothing more than a rumble. "You looked pretty hot with a bebé in your arms, Lola"

Shepard felt her face light up bright red as she floundered for a response. Finally, she decided on a smartass response. "Oh yeah? You wanna help me make my own?" she purred.

Flustered, James turned red and stuttered, trying to find the right words. With a laugh, she patted him on the arm and made her way to her terminal so she could get that over with and she could get to bed.

She was exhausted.

Kaidan felt his nails digging into his palms as he watched the surveillance vid of the airlock. He had half a mind to throw Vega out the damn airlock once they were in space. What right did that man have to look at Hope like that?

To speak to her like that?

To touch her like that?

She was so much more than a toy to be flirted with.

Kaidan heard the shattering of glass and looked over to see coffee running down the wall across the room. Apparently he had inadvertently, biotically thrown his cup of coffee.

Why was he so pissed?

Was it because he wished that he could be like that with her? Because he had never been that open and forward with her? Was it because she had flirted back? Because she had that look of fire in her eyes that he had missed seeing?

Was it because he just didn't like any other man being so close to her?

What right did he have to think that?

He had yet to decide what he was going to do about them.

Yeah.

Right.

Gritting his teeth, he cleaned up his mess, throwing the glass in the non-composting bin in his room. He stared at the stain with contempt- as though it was at fault for all of the problems in his life.

Of course, Vega had been right…to a degree.

She had looked good with a baby in her arms.

Kaidan would never have said that she looked hot. No, she had looked radiant, stunning, maternal. She had looked the part of a mother.

Of course, given her place and interactions with the crew on the Normandy (at least the original one, he hadn't seen much of her interactions on the SR-2 yet), she was already, very much, like a mother.

She went out of her way to protect and provide what she could for her crew and squad. She would always stop whatever she was doing if someone needed an ear and she was always available when someone needed some advice and, if she didn't have it, she was perfectly willing to find someone who had it so that she could pass it along.

Yeah.

He was a goner.

She woke up, her chest heaving and tears threatening to escape. It felt as though she couldn't breathe. It was always the same after a nightmare starring the little boy from Earth.

Rolling out of bed, she checked to make sure she was decent (she didn't quite remember what she had put on before falling into bed at midnight), and was pleased that she had, at least, managed to pull on a pair of N7 lounge pants and a N7 tank-top.

She, however, was no please when she glanced over at her alarm clock and saw that it was a little after 0100 hours; meaning she had gotten a little less than an hour's worth of sleep.

Grabbing her N7 jacket and slipping on her combat boots (she didn't bother tying them), she decided to head down to the Mess to get a cup of coffee and completely read the mission brief for Eden Prime before they arrived in six hours.

Groaning, Kaidan looked at his omni-tool to tell him the time.

Closing in on 0200 hours.

And he was awake.

With a sigh, Kaidan slipped on a pair of workout pants and an old Alliance training shirt and made his way to the Mess (wasn't any point in getting completely dressed in his BDUs since the nightshift personnel were the only ones up and they would all be at their posts). He needed a cup of hot tea and maybe a small snack so that he could get back to sleep.

As per his usual way, he scanned the area and spotted someone with their head half buried in their arms with a datapad in their hand in a dark corner of the mess. Straightening his shoulders, he put on his Major Face and marched over to the person, planning on giving them a good dress down for falling asleep while on duty. If they had been so tired, they should never have sat down to do their reading.

When he got close enough to realize it was Shepard, he felt himself drop any semblance of Alliance formality. He had known that she looked exhausted, but he had assumed that she had gone up to her cabin after she boarded the Normandy. Her cup of tea was still pretty warm, so she had been awake relatively recently, looking over some kind of mission report, or another.

Kaidan pulled the datapad from her hand and laid it aside. She murmured something in her sleep and her eyes fluttered. He gently reached out and cupped the side of her face and she turned her face into it. He could feel her slow, warm breaths on his palm. He could feel the sleep-induced words on his hand but didn't bother to try to figure out what she was saying.

Those were her secrets and he had no right to them.

Not anymore.

That thought had his heart clenching and his stomach revolting. He pushed back some of the short red hair (it felt no different than it had aboard the SR-1) that had fallen in her face and smiled at her frown and the seemingly, angrier mutters. After a few moments, she relaxed again, not moving her face from his hand.

He had been an ass.

He nodded and carefully picked her up, holding her cradled in his arms like one might expect someone to hold a newborn. She was so light in his arms and he realized that, if anything, she had lost weight since their tour together on the SR-1. Whether in armor or not, she had never been so light and that worried Kaidan (she had never been heavy). She buried her face in his arm and again murmured something that he didn't quite catch.

"Come on, Hope, let's take you to bed," he murmured quietly as he took the elevator up to her quarters.

As he walked in, he marveled at all of her model ships and even at the size of her aquarium. He carried her gently over to her huge bed and laid her down as carefully as he could. She frowned and muttered something again.

He wished that they were still close enough that he might have been able to stay with her. A part of him told him to stay anyway- she looked like she was having nightmares. He watched as she twitched anxiously in her sleep and her hands clenched into tight fists.

He couldn't stay.

Kaidan walked back up to exit and then hesitated and turned around. She was practically crying out from her nightmare. He felt his own fists clench and looked over at her desk when one of her holos activated.

His heart might as well have stopped.

There was a holo of him from years ago…back on the SR-1. It wasn't a particularly good picture of him- he had had so many better ones…but it had been taken after the Battle of the Citadel.

He picked it up and felt his jaw clench.

Yeah. He had been….was being an ass.

Kaidan made his way down to her living area again and carefully (fearfully) sat down so his back was against the headboard and his feet were on the bed and gently touched her arm. She struggled for a few minutes before relaxing. It wasn't long before she was peacefully asleep. He sat there for a long time before getting up, making sure she was still peaceful, and headed back down to his room.

He had decided.

Shepard woke up and was surprised to find herself in her bed. She was pretty sure that she had fallen asleep in the Mess while reading the mission brief on the Prothean Artifact on Eden Prime. She was pretty sure that she hadn't even made it half way through her cup of tea before her exhaustion had finally overtaken her again.

There was no memory that she had that explained how she had ended up back in her bed.

Also, for a while, there had been no nightmares.

Her dreams had been of a certain Major that she had every intention of ignoring or, at the very least, not spend a lot of time around. But, her dreams had conjured him up and included him murmuring apologies and calling her by her dreaded name.

She slowly got out of bed and slipped on her usual, casual, outfit on pants, a tank, and her N7 jacket with her combat boots and headed down to the mess. Maybe there was a clue as to what happened down there.

He hadn't gotten very much sleep. He had stayed with Shepard for, maybe, three hours, and then finally went back to his room and had gotten maybe another hour asleep. The entire time, though, both his thoughts and dreams, had been full of her.

Sighing, he made his way to the mess hall and literally ran right into Shepard as she walked out of the elevator and to the memorial wall. He gripped her waist to steady her and felt her breath hitch.

"Kaidan," she greeted him, sounding surprised.

"Shepard," he murmured, looking down at her, his eyes looking over the entirety of her face- searching for…something.

Her right hand rested on his bicep as she looked at him, her eyes seemingly pale due to her tiredness (though not nearly to the extent that she had been the previous night). He realized that he still gripped her hips and let her go (as much as he hated to), and was surprised when she didn't let go of him. She looked at the memorial wall and seemed to shrink even further. Had he been anyone else (and had she been more rested) she would never have allowed this side of her to be seen.

"You need to get some more sleep," Kaidan said sternly.

She refused to look away from the memorial wall. "I have to put his name on the wall. He deserves to be given something. He died to save Valern."

Without thinking, Kaidan rested his hand on her own (the one that was on his bicep) and shook his head when she looked at him. "No. Thane didn't die to save Valern- he died to save you."

Shepard looked up at him with eyes that screamed that she was lost. He realized that that fire he had seen in her eyes when she was talking with Vega was as fake as Udina had been. Garrus had been right.

She was exhausted and needed someone to lean on- someone to help take the burden of the galaxy off of her shoulder. Someone to hold her when she needed it, to fight her, and to love her.

And he wanted it to be him.

"Second person lost in as many missions," she murmured, running her fingers over the engraving of Thane's name. "How many more will be lost because I'm not good enough?"

It was clear that she didn't expect (or want) an answer, but he had one to give.

"You're more than good enough- you're one of the best." He ignored her scoff. "You are the single person in the galaxy who has the ability to unite the galaxy."

"I'm not worth the death of those who are my friends and who've served under me."

"You've already saved trillions of lives- how many more will survive because you live? The simple cold, hard truth is that some lives are worth more than others…and you're one of those lives," he murmured. "Any single person on this ship would give their lives to save yours so that you might accomplish what no other could," he explained, feeling as though the words were ripped right from his soul.

She squeezed his bicep and gave him a small smile. "I don't agree with you and I don't believe you, but thank you."

As she made to let go, he tightened his grip on her hand slightly. "None of this is your fault."

Her eyes studied his face and she nodded her head. After he let go, she placed the plaque on the Memorial Wall. She bowed her head and brought her hands together. Kaidan knew that she wasn't particularly religious, but he believed that she said a silent prayer to Thane's gods…or maybe she was just sending a silent apology out into the universe in the hopes that Thane's soul might hear.

After her moment of silence, she straightened her spine and most of the evidence of her sadness disappeared. She was in her Commander mode.

It was time for her to get back to work.

AN: A little more feels, just like the last chapter. Thanks for everyone who favorited, followed, and commented! I love getting them (it makes my day a whole lot brighter)! I'm always open to suggestions and criticism! Let me know!