[A/N: You guys are so great! All your feedback makes my day and makes me write faster! I have lifted the rating to M for language and future themes (hello smut). I will always warn you of future scenes that involve that kind of content, so if you're not into that, you will know in advance! This chapter has some language and trigging scene if you suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. Let me know what you think of this chapter, I love hearing from you. Also, come and find me on Tumblr: bellarkeymia !]

His car smelled vaguely of lavender as he parked back in front of Monty's. He couldn't tell if he liked or hated the smell.

The smell stayed with him as he entered the small house, grabbed a beer and danced with some girl Monty claimed was "super fine and legal". He would have been annoyed but he didn't want to think and he didn't want to care.

He had a shitty day at work. For one, he had to work at the auto-shop and barely had time to make it to his shift at The Ark. And when he did get to work, he realized he had forgotten his dress shoes at home. He also didn't realize half of his face was covered in grease until after his shift.

All he wanted was to have a good night.

A night where he could forget about everything. Forget that he had to the shittiest day. Forget that his sister was ignoring him. Forget like he was barely making this month's rent, even with two full-time jobs.

Then she appeared, as if out of nowhere.

He spotted her once he got out of his car. A sad look filled her features and he was almost going to just walk right by her until she started to fall toward the ground. It was weird how he reacted because he reacted without thinking about it. He reached out his arms and there they stood, wrapped up in another like a vine.

She was stubborn and it annoyed him. Especially because she thought she could prance around in his neck of the woods like nothing would happen to her (he wouldn't admit that the thought made him feel a bit concerned because that would be stupid).

So, he drove her home and he would be lying if he said he didn't feel self-conscious in his old piece of shit Buick. (And he would be lying if he said he didn't stare at her backside when she walked up to her house.)

Fuck it. He didn't want to think about it anymore.

He shook his head at his thoughts and started to smirk when he felt the brunette in front of him rub against him to the beat. It was Sunday night, so that meant he didn't have to work anywhere tomorrow. Monday was his day off and he knew exactly how he wanted to start it.

"Bellamy." He bit his lip and turned his head to see Jasper Jordan standing a few feet away from him. The boy was scrawny as hell but he made up for it. Jasper had his back plenty of times and although he appreciated it, it only served to annoy him now. "It's –ugh- it's Octavia."

He dropped his hands from the slim waist they were gripping and he followed Jasper between the moving bodies.

The music was loud but he couldn't hear a single thing. He felt the vibrations in his chest and he felt the lights pounding on his skin.

When it came to Octavia, he dropped everything. He dropped school, he dropped work, he dropped friends and he dropped girls. Everything was dropped because nothing mattered without her.

His pulse grew as he headed toward the small hallway that lead toward the bedrooms. His skin was on fire.

Thoughts rushed into his brain.

He walked into the small bedroom and saw his sister, his baby sister, huddled in a corner clutching her ears and rocking. She looked like a small fallen fawn. His pulse ignited and he pushed past Jasper to get to her. Get to her. Get to her. Get to her.

He tried to pull on her arms but they wouldn't budge. She was clutching her ears so tightly and he didn't want to hurt her or have her hurt herself. The thought made him sick.

As he pressed his forehead lightly to hers, he hummed a song he always did when she would wake up screaming in the middle of the night. Images of their childhood haunted her. They haunted him but he wouldn't let that show. He had to be the strong one. He had to be the one to hold them together.

It was as if time had stopped. As he continued to hum, her hands slowly fell from her ears. He saw the small stains of blood on her fingernails and clutched them loosely but firm between his own. "Talk to me." It came out in a whisper, like it always did. He felt like he was eight years old again, whispering in the dark to his four-year-old sister.

It was then that he heard the shuffling of another pair of feet. He lifted up his head and saw his sister's stupid boyfriend standing on the side of the bed with a strange look on his face. He would have been fine if the stupid douchebag had kept his mouth shut.

"Fucking freak."

He dropped Octavia's hands slowly.

It was a strange feeling for all of his senses coming in at once. He could vividly see Atom Myers before him. He could hear Jasper telling him to get out. He could feel Octavia pull lightly on his shoulder. He could smell lavenders and he could taste blood.

The room was in slow motion again. It was like he was being brought back to life. Feeling everything and nothing all at once. His pulse was vibrating and his skin was tingling as his fist connected with Atom's jaw. (It was strange to think that they were almost in this same position last week.)

He felt his back thrown against the floor but he reacted quickly because that's how he was raised.

His mouth was bleeding but he quickly jabbed his fist into Atom's neck. It was as if he was a wild animal set loose.

He felt Atom's weight being lifted off of him and another pair of arms string around him. His breathing was coming out in harsh pants and his adrenaline was swimming around in his veins.

It took him a minute before he shrugged Monty off. He saw Atom's face, covered in blood and a few bruises he was sure matched his own.

With a strangled pant for air, he spit out a chunk of blood before stepping closer to Atom. "You come near her again and I will fucking kill you." No one said a word. He watched someone as scrawny as Jasper pull someone as bulky and rigid as Atom out of the small bedroom.

He took a deep breath before he headed toward Octavia, offer her his hand and pull her to her feet.

Taking her away from it all.

…

They were sitting in a run down diner a block from their apartment around one in the morning. He tried not to think about the bruise on his face. It ached and he saw Octavia wince every time she looked at him.

She looked so much younger across from him. His old leather jacket wrapper around her shoulders, making her look smaller than usual. Her hair falling around her shoulders like it did when she was younger. He thought about an eleven year old Octavia who cried because she couldn't have nice things like all the other girls had. He imagined an even younger Octavia begging and asking him why their parents didn't want her.

She suffered from panic attacks. She had since she was little and it always caused him to feel helpless. Small rooms caused her to grow claustrophobic which spurred a panic attack. Large amount of stress caused her to have a panic attack.

He should have just sucked it up and apologized for being an asshole to the boy he liked. He could have saved her from all this suffering.

It ate away at him.

"I'm sorry." She said softly as she poured syrup over her waffles. She liked her waffles to be swimming in it. "I'm just -." She paused. "I'm sure you didn't want to deal with that."

This stunned him. His eyes grew wide and he sat up straighter. "Don't apologize to me. Ever. Especially for who you are, alright?" He stared directly at her and watched her nod. Her green eyes were rimmed in red. "I would do anything for you, Octavia."

"I know." Her voice was soft adding to how young she looked. "It's just you do so much for me and I was so awful to you for someone who-." She shook her head and swallowed a cry in her throat. "Someone who didn't even care about me."

He reached out to grab her hand. Her fingernails were still stained red. "We're in this together, O." He tried to smile but he was certain it came out as strained as it felt.

For as long as he remembered, it was just the two of them. He had raised his little sister. He helped her with homework, walked her to school, sewed her Girl Scout costumers and made sure she never went to sleep hungry. He put all of her needs before his own. Some nights he never ate. Some nights he never got around to his own homework. Sometimes it took him three years to buy a new shirt.

Their father bailed when he was no older than eleven and his mother was so stricken over the loss, she lived as if she didn't have children at home. And by the time he was almost sixteen, she left.

He wasn't going to pity himself. He had a rough start at life but he was still here and Octavia was still here.

He watched her eat her waffle. It was programmed in him to always make sure she ate before he had. He smiled at her briefly before glancing down at his own waffle. He wasn't hungry. He was tired and his bones ached. He wanted to get them home and sleep knowing his sister was talking to him again. To be able to go to sleep knowing his sister was safe.

"Bell." He glanced up at her. There was syrup stuck to her lip and her green eyes were bright. "You're a good guy."

He stared at her, even after she turned her attention back toward her food.

If only he believed that.

…

Two days later, he was wiping the sweat from his brow as he watched Jasper toss at salad at The Ark. He owed it to his friend for getting him a job but he hated that while he had to go out and deal with rich snobs, Jasper got to hide in the kitchen making salads.

It was an even hotter day than most so the kitchen was stifling. His white collar was sticking to his neck and he couldn't wait for the next four hours to pass by.

"How's O?" Jasper asked as he cut softly into a rich red tomato. He hated tomatoes.

He sighed and thought about his sister. After they finished at the diner, they drove home and camped out in the living room without a word. He spent the entire day lying on the couch watching stupid sitcoms with Octavia. Though it annoyed him, being around his sister and laughing with her, caused the pain in his chest to lessen. He wished he could say the same about the bruise on his face.

"She's fine." He mumbled as he glanced down at his bruised knuckles. "Sorry about what happened, man."

Jasper shook his head. "I would have been pissed if you didn't do anything." Jasper glanced up at him. "But knowing you that would be unlikely."

He smirked. He was always the one who got into trouble. He always defended the things he cared about. It was like it was written in his bones and embedded into his blood. It was entirely who he was.

"Well, that's not something you see everyday."

He glanced up at Jasper but Jasper was looking away toward the kitchen doors. He turned his head and saw her standing there. Her hair was braided and hanging over her shoulder. She wore a navy blue dress with pearls on her wrists. She clutched a small white bag and glanced around the kitchen anxiously with her teeth sunken into her bottom lip.

He quickly walked away from Jasper and headed toward her. "You have a fine way of being in places you shouldn't." He crossed his arms across his chest. "Lost again, princess?"

Her eyes snapped onto him and he saw a sense of relief. She stared at the bruise on his face before looking down at the ground. "I'm-um-actually looking for you." She glanced at the bag in her hands before thrusting it into him.

He dropped his arms and took the bag from her (not that he wanted too but she basically threw it at him). He sensed the brief smell of lavender again. "What's this?"

She glanced around the kitchen once more before focusing back onto his face. He watched her eyes trace over the darkened bruise that covered his skin. If he ever regretted hitting Atom Myers it would be for the split second right now. "Just um." She fidgeted. "Just a thank you. So, thank you." She mumbled before spinning around and heading back out the kitchen doors.

He glanced behind him to see Jasper giving him a curious look and then back toward the small bag in his hands. He frowned before following her out the doors. "Clarke."

She was almost to the main dining room before she spun around on her heels. Her eyes were wide at the use of her real name. It had surprised him at how easily it rolled off his tongue. It surprised him even more how good it felt. "Yes?"

He shook his head at his thoughts before thrusting the bag back into her hands. "I don't need your charity."

Her eyes grew wide before they narrowed. "That's not what this is." She stood up straighter and looked at him in the eye. "It's a thank you." She spoke slowly as if she was speaking to a five year old. She threw him the bag once more.

"Well I don't-."

She cut him off. "Bellamy. Just take it, alright? It's me saying thank you for driving me home." She cleared her throat and her voice was soft again. "Please just, take it."

He nodded and stared at her before looking down toward the bag. He reached into it and pulled out a leather box. He glanced up at her and watched her face grow red. He quickly unlatched the box and came face to face with a clean leather watch. His hands grew clammy. "I can't accept this."

"Yes you can." She hesitated for a moment before she took a step toward him and pointed to the thin watch hanging by a thread around his wrist. "I noticed it had a crack in it." It had been cracked for quite some time but he never had the spare money to replace it. "It's really not that big of a deal."

"Clarke."

"Bellamy." She kept a straight face for a few seconds before it broke out into a small genuine smile. It was a beautiful smile. She looked like something that wasn't even from this world. It was breathtaking.

He glanced back down at the watch before turning his head and glancing up at her. No one besides Octavia gave him a gift before. It struck him in a strange way. "Thank you."

She shrugged, still with a smile on her face before turning back around and leaving him there with a watch.

And a smile of his own.