A long chapter. The final chapter.
MEGOLOVANIA.
If I could see that smile,
Just one more time,
It would all be worth it.
But where is my worth, now? Where has it run to?
My hands were burrowed into my pockets.
Usually, this simple act was calming. My breathing would become steady, my emotions, my feelings would be contained by these pathetic pieces of fabric. Any foreboding actions seducing me, forced into submission by merely keeping my hands inside my pockets. Something an old friend taught me, whenever I'd get out of control as a child.
As a child.
The words hit me in the stomach like a wrecking ball, racking my body with silent cries. I didn't know why. Maybe because, as a child, I wasn't here. I was Home. Home, wherever it is, now. Deserted, most likely. Destroyed. Ruthlessly torn to shreds. I'm going to kill them.
I stood for a moment, waiting for that insistent plea, constantly in the back of my mind, begging me to be just. Telling me to be wise, telling me to stay under control. Whenever the malice grew powerful, it'd fight back tirelessly, all the while imploring me to stay strong, to not forget who I was, who I wanted to be. It wasn't here, today. My mind was silent, as well as the entirety of the Underground. There was nothing left to oppose. Nobody left to see me as the monster I am.
The church built up around me, grand and holy, was entirely ironic. The walls were a shimmering gold, perfectly chiseled columns formed the foundation for this building. The windows, stained glass, formed mesmerizing pictures I couldn't begin to explain. Detailing the war between the humans and the monsters, the lost Asriel, the king and the queen. It was so beautiful. Too beautiful. They did not belong to be in the presence of the evil about to unfold.
Whether I'm speaking of the child or myself, I do not know anymore.
The bells struck above my head, powerful and mighty. I took a deep breath, retreating behind one of the columns, I closed my eyes. One ring for every death. I have to remember.
The monotonous tone continued for minutes, eerie and unending. 10 times. 20 times. 50 times... So many souls.
My brother. My brother, Papyrus.
He's only a single toll of a bell, now. He is not an individual anymore. He is just a faceless victim. One whom nobody will be alive to remember. Not even his name...
And suddenly, the unmistakable sound of clacking footsteps filled the air. Small ones, intertwining with the tones of the bell. Not even an ounce of hesitation. My throat was fire, my eye, that painful burn I'd avoided for so long. It was here. And I was not going to run from it again.
I stepped out from behind the column, confronting that little, emotionless face once again. That face I knew was bad news when I first saw it. I could have prevented all of it, if I'd just gone with my gut. Little slip of the foot before anyone else noticed them, and this psychopath would be dead, their bones shattered, their throats gushing with blood, in the bottom of a chasm. Nobody'd even notice. It's happened before, hasn't it?
I was the one that let it come to this. I... I couldn't let this happen.
No.
"Heya." The grin was pasted on my face, my hands furrowed into my pocket. Just like always. "You've been busy, huh?"
The bell rang, consistent and slow, as they stared at me. That vile, baby face. I wanted to... I wanted to kill it.
"So, I've got a question for ya," I continued, smiling. "Do you think even the worst person can change? That everyone can be a good person, if they just try?"
I watched, amused, as they took a small step towards me. I could see, now, the knife clutched in their hands. The red stained on their clothing. Smeared upon their face, the lack of an attempt to hide it. As if they were championing it around like a medal they'd won. Not the slightest change in expression.
I chuckled, shaking my head. "Well, here's a better question."
"Do you wanna have a bad time?"
"Cause, if you take another step," I beamed, "you're really not going to like what happens next."
And yet, another step. Still, no emotion.
I remembered that lady behind the door. Her jokes, the way she always laughed at mine, even when they weren't my best. Like I was the first chance at joy she'd found for a long, long time. And the promise I made to her. But there was no one left to hold me accountable. No one left to care for. No one left to see who I am. Absolutely nothing left to lose.
It was just me and the human.
I grinned, and shrugged. "Welp, sorry, old lady. This is why I never make promises."
The battle began.
...
I am Sans the skeleton. My brother, my best friend, was Papyrus.
He is gone, now. I soon will be, too.
I am only a host.
The power inside of me. It's not me, I promise.
I promise.
I'm... sorry.
...
"It's a beautiful day outside," I say, closing my eyes, taking a deep, tranquil breath. "Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like these, kids like you..."
My eyes open. I see only black. Only darkness. "SHOULD BE BURNING IN HELL."
I am hardly aware of the moves I make. Only that it's barbaric, it's monstrous. It's worse than inhumane. I am a monster. I jerk the child back and forth, their heart turns blue, their shirt is stained with their own blood. Their knife is wrenched from their frail hand, skittered across the church floor.
They cannot attack, I am everywhere but where they hit. When they hit everywhere, I am nowhere.
I am only mildly aware of the heat in my eye, now, but I know it's there. I know that, as each turn passes, it brightens, it darkens, it turns every shade in and outside of the rainbow. It's beautiful. It's terrifying. It's mystifying. It's HELL ITSELF.
And suddenly... it's over. Their body lay on the ground. Beaten. Torn to shreds. Pitiful to see. There's a lump in my throat. All that, and it's over already...?
...
No, no, it's not over.
Because their save files. Their save files, they're still there. They're always going to be there. Whatever is inside of me, it will defeat them, it will continue to demolish this child until they are unrecognizable.
BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER
BECAUSE THE CHILD WILL ALWAYS WIN
BECAUSE THEY ARE THE PLAYERS
AND I AM ONLY A CHARACTER HERE
MEANT FOR ONE PURPOSE
TO PLAY UNTIL I LOSE
I WILL KEEP ON PLAYING
UNTIL I CAN'T GO ON
AND
I
HAVE
NO
CHOICE.
.
.
.
"So, uh, I've decided, it's not gonna be your turn. Ever."
I smile, breathing heavily. The child stares at me, bewildered. Emotion. Yes, there it is.
"I'm just gonna keep on having my turn until you give up."
It fills me with the utmost joy to see the astonishment finally arriving on their face. Like I've actually accomplished something by doing the complete opposite. Literally, nothing. I chuckle, my legs shaking underneath me. This came at the best time. Because I will not be able to escape another shot. Another attempt with their knife, and I will be nothing. I will be with Papyrus. I will be with Undyne. I will be just a dream.
I close my eyes, bury my hands into my pocket. I know the child will refuse to give up. They'll sit here for hours, days. They want to win. They need to win. This Satan does not give up.
But two can play at that game.
I can see them through my eyes, barely opened. They are wandering across the church, searching for some kind of escape. Utterly dumbfounded. Stupid. Stupid, hell-bound kid. I can't wait to wave at you from up there soon enough.
Suddenly, they stop. They freeze, directly in front of me. Of course, they think I'm asleep. Stupid, knife-wielding kid. They'll aim a swipe at me, but they just don't know. They don't know that they won't be able to do it. It's my turn. I can't die.
Surely enough, I anticipate their attack. Futile. We'll just keep waiting here, kid. Forever. It'd be better if you'd just-
The sound of a knife hitting something. Something hard, something... bony. CLANK!
Me.
I don't feel the ache. But I feel the energy immediately sapping out of me. The power that was inside of me is leeching out. Going somewhere else. Maybe to someone more worthy. The red begins to pour, surrounding me in a pool, from my mouth, from the single, long cut across my chest.
I glance up at the child. They look satisfied.
"So. Guess that's it, huh?" The labor it takes to cough out these words was worse than I thought it would be. "Just don't say I didn't warn you."
My defiance acts up. Sans, still inside of me. He was still there. "I'm going to Grillby's." My walking is more like sliding. The ground is slick with blood, so there's not much else I can do. I leave, out of the child's vision, but their eyes don't follow. They don't wait to see if I've really died. I'm just an obstacle. Just a mini-boss to them. What would you expect?
The last I see of the child is their back as they left the room. Heading... heading for ASGORE. For the barrier...
I trip.
I fall.
My bones feel so weak...
"Papyrus, do you want anything?"
...
It is not just a bad dream anymore. I have left.
And the bells are still tolling.
Wow. So, this was kind of a roller coaster to write.
I really didn't mean for it to be this long, but it turned out this way. Lots of spaces to heighten the drama, I suppose. Just writing this made me emotional.
Anyways, whoever reads this, if anyone does, thank you so much for your support. It means so much to me when people enjoy my writing, you have no idea. So thank you for whatever contribution you've done, whether you've followed or favorited, or you simply clicked on the story.
(Also, for context, "Megalovania" is the song used in San's battle. It's pretty kick ass.)