I'm going to a concert today! ONE OK ROCK (Japanese rock band, if you don't know them, look them up, there awesome) is in Amsterdam, so of course I'm going. Here's chapter thirteen, hope you'll like it! Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing, it really makes me happy!

This is a bit short, so sorry about that! And again sorry for the typos! :s

Oh, and I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but my OC is all mine.

XxX

Chapter 13

I wasn't sure how it happened, but somehow Sebastian managed to carry me to the kitchen and put me on the kitchen table as he started to prepare breakfast.

'I don't get it. What happened with our 'finished business'?' I asked confused while he got some eggs out of the fridge.

'Hmm,' Sebastian said. 'I thought you would like to eat something first.'

I laughed, but it sounded forced and nervous. 'You know me too well,' I said, though the moment I said it I regretted it.

'I know,' he said, not even trying to deny the fact that he knew how perfect he was. 'Pancakes?'

I didn't know why he had to ask that. 'Pancakes,' I confirmed.

Sebastian's pancakes were the most delicious pancakes on earth. Well, at least I thought so. I only ever tasted pancakes I made myself, so I didn't really have much to compare it with.

I ate two pancakes while sitting on the table, my legs over the edge of the table while I swung them up and down. When I gave the empty plate to Sebastian, he immediately put it away and approached me, trapping me by putting his hands on each side of my body. 'Well then,' he said. 'Time for you to open up.'

'Yeah, about that,' I said hesitant, 'I still have no clue how to do that.' And I rather don't find out how. Whatever I did that kept him out, it was my advantage and I'd rather not give that up.

Sebastian guessed my thoughts. 'But you didn't even try, because you like it,' he said.

'Well, of course. I don't think anyone wants to expose themselves to you,' I said, again trying to distract him.

He chuckled. 'I think the number of people who would do that would surprise you.'

'Mei-Rin,' I immediately said. 'She's obviously attracted to you.'

He chuckled again, but didn't come closer, which confused me. Usually he would have already bend over to breath in my ear or neck, to confuse me more than I already was in his presence. 'Mei-Rin has never been a mystery to me,' Sebastian said. 'That's one of the reasons I choose her.'

'You choose her?' I sighed and rolled my eyes. 'I should have known. You are the one who employed the three idiots.'

'Yes,' he said, smiling amused. 'They may be poor at the jobs they do, but when the house is under attack they can be very useful.'

'Oh,' I said, suddenly getting it. 'They're not just idiots. They're special too.' I frowned. 'But they aren't demons, right?'

Sebastian's smile disappeared. 'No. Everything they are is the fault of humans.' Then he cursed softly. 'You distract me,' he said, sounding pissed, but also a bit impressed.

'Jup,' I said, smiling a devious smile.

'Hmm, you're learning,' he said. 'But right now, it's annoying.'

'Sorry sorry sorry,' I said, because I didn't want to make him angry. 'But this feels really awkward.'

The smile was back on his face. 'Should I comfort you, then?' he said, finally leaning over to drive me crazy.

His gloved hands didn't touch me, but his lips touched my cheek. 'Better?' he said against my skin.

'No,' I said, trying to keep my breath under control. 'Definitely not.'

'Hmm,' he murmured, putting on hand over my head and one around my waist, pulling me into a strange hug. 'Better?' he asked, but his voice didn't sound stable either, as if he was thinking about something else.

'Nope,' I said against his jacket, trying to not smell the familiar smell of his clothes and skin.

He chuckled. 'I don't believe you,' he said, slowly stroking my hair.

It was such a father-like, calming gesture that I felt my eyes close on its own. 'Hmm,' was the only thing I said, not sure what he'd said.

'So pure,' he murmured softly, so soft that I thought he wasn't talking to me. 'So soft. So easy broken. Clarissa,' he said, his mouth somewhere above my head. 'Let me in.'

The moment he said those words I let go of my fear and distrust and it felt like falling asleep. As if I was sinking into a deep sleep. But I could feel that Sebastian had me in his grip, refusing to let me go.

'Got you,' he said, his voice suddenly cold and hungry.

I had to grab his arms to prevent from falling backwards on the table and I thought for a moment that Sebastian would let me go, but he didn't.

Slowly I could feel my confusing emotions leaving my head and heart. All that was left was emptiness. I didn't feel confused and I didn't felt influenced by Sebastian's presence. I was just me and nothing else. And it felt really lonely in my head.

Then the pressure in my head was gone and I knew that I could pull my walls back up. The moment I did I thought Sebastian would release me, but he didn't.

I gave him a small pat on the shoulder, but he didn't move. 'Sebas-'

'Don't,' he said and the way he said it scared me. He sounded as if he was a tiger and if I moved, he would eat me. So I just froze and waited until he release me and looked at me with a look that I didn't understand.

'We are never doing this again,' he told me.

'Er, okay? It wasn't my idea, remember?' I said, not understanding his sudden stern and cold look.

He sighed and looked at the table as if he wanted to kick the thing. 'Do you have any idea what you just did, Clarissa?!'

'Er, I thought I did, but you're reaction gives me the feeling that I didn't…' I jumped of the table, didn't want to stay there any longer.

He cursed again, obviously trying to regain his calm and cool state. 'You just almost willingly gave your soul away. And if I had been anyone else, I would have grabbed the opportunity. I would have killed you.'

I wasn't sure what to say. But when I said something, I was almost certain it was the wrong thing to say. 'Then why didn't you?'

'I don't know!' he said and the moment he said that I realized that that was the thing that had upset him. The fact that he could have had my soul, that he could have killed me, but that he hadn't. That was the thing that had messed him up.

I wasn't sure what to say. Understanding him and helping him were two different things. And I didn't think I could do either of those two completely. 'I'm sorry,' I said. 'It won't happen again,' I assured him.

I wasn't sure if it were my words or his own thoughts, but suddenly he was calm and composed again. 'No, it won't,' he said politely. 'Because the next time something like this happened, I will kill you.'

And I believed him.

XxX

Madame Red came with a truck as big as a house to the mansion that evening. She hugged me to death, promised me a hundred time that she would take excellent care of me while Sebastian was loading the truck with my stuff. I felt really weird to leave the mansion after living there so short. No one very moved after two weeks of living somewhere.

Sebastian didn't really say goodbye, but Ciel and the house staff did. Finnian even gave me flowers from the garden, which resulted in Ciel sighing. Apparently those flowers weren't meant to be given to someone.

It was right there and then that I saw the cat with the red eyes again. He was sitting on the side of the stairs in the garden, staring at me with his red eyes glowing. And since that cat reminded me of Sebastian, I briefly waved at the cat, so that I had the feeling that at least I had said goodbye to Sebastian.

But the cat didn't want the say goodbye to me. He jumped of the stairs and walked towards me, following me with every step I took as I walked towards the truck. It was nice to be followed, it made me feel less lonely since Ciel and the house staff had said their goodbyes inside the house.

But when I got into the truck, the cat didn't follow me anymore. And I didn't blame him. I was leaving, after all. And it seemed that no one cared enough to follow me to wherever I was going.

XxX

Madame Red's house, or Anne's house, since she asked to call her 'Anne', was smaller than Ciel's house, but it was still beautiful and spacious and in the centre of London. The room she had for me was only one room, but I did have my own bathroom at the end of the corridor. She slept downstairs, so I basically had a floor of my own, unless she had to work here, cause her office was upstairs as well as her music room, cause apparently she played piano.

In this room I had a balcony and a lot of candles. I wasn't sure why there were to many candles, but on every flat surface other than the ground a candle was placed.

I opened the window to the balcony and stood there, watching the city as the wind messed up my hair. I sighed as the cold made me shiver, embracing the harshness of the world for once.

And then the cat appeared.

At first I was convinced it was a different cat sitting on the side of the balcony, but when the cat looked at me it had the same red eyes. 'You're not stalking me, aren't you?' I asked, trying to convince myself that this wasn't the same cat, that this was just a coincidence.

But then the cat closed his eyes for a moment and I took that as a 'yes'. 'Great,' I said, officially losing my mind. 'Sebastian is sending a stalker cat. How great. And I thought I was finally free.' But it sounded like a lie. And it kind of was.

Being a girl who had never gotten any attention from no one, I had kind of liked the attention Sebastian had always given me. As if he was interested in my thoughts and cared enough to listen. It was foolish of me to think like that and I knew that, but I still did. Because it was my only happiness.

'You don't say anything, do you?' I asked the cat, petting his head while he started to purr like an idiot.

'Maybe I shouldn't say anything, too,' I said, 'then no one would hear me and I would become invisible.'

When the cat didn't react, I didn't react either. So I just pet the cat while staring at the city, trying to understand why I still cared at all.

XxX

It took three days for Ciel to come and find me during lunch. I hadn't had any contact with him since I moved out and hadn't intend to do so, but when he came to sit at my empty table during lunch, I felt a little bit better. But only for a second.

'I need your help for a case,' was the first thing he told me.

'Not interested,' I said, almost angry because he dared to ask.

'Is this how you thank the boy who has saved you and given you a new home?' he asked me.

'Yes,' I said, looking up at him with the most unkind expression that I could pull. 'Does that bother you?' I asked, copying the words he'd said to me after he and I had been kidnapped.

'Yes, it does,' he said, clearly not getting that I was copying him.

I looked down at my sandwich again and said: 'Well, that's a shame, considering that it is in fact none of your business.'

I could just feel Ciel's eyes narrowing as he got the clue. 'I am very sorry, but this is a case of national importance.' He almost threw the paper in my face. 'There's a serial killer in London and his target are girls. We need you to be the bait.'

I looked at the article for a few seconds and then handed the paper back to him. 'Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not doing it.'

'National importance,' Ciel repeated, getting annoyed.

'I don't care,' I let him known. 'You can dress up as a girl and do it yourself.' Not that he would agree with that idea, but I wasn't going to help him. I was done with helping him for nothing in return. I would only help a friend if he acted like one, which he clearly didn't.

'Alright, fine,' Ciel said, standing up from the table. 'I will.' And he sounded so serious that I believed him.

Wait, he was actually going to dress up as a girl?

Dang it, I really want to see that.

XxX