Chapter 38

Thanks to everyone who is still reading! I don't own any part of STFBE and no profit is being made from any part of this story. I'm fighting to merge a couple of different chapters that I've written, so please hang in there! Also, please keep reviewing, I love hearing what you have to say.

XOXOXOX

The following morning Sue found herself tracking down bits of information given to her by a snitch. So far, she had not found any credible leads.

Jack sat across from her, trying to write a report that was due two days earlier. His mind was not on his work, as he watched Sue over his computer terminal. Sue had caught him staring a few times and gave him a warning look, but he only smiled.

Sue was leaving early for a checkup when Jack bolted toward the elevator to catch up with Sue. The doors were just closing when he slammed the button to request the elevator. Sue was surprised to see Jack's chocolate brown eyes on the other side of the doors when they slid open once more.

"Hi." Sue said, smiling at him.

"Good, I caught you." He replied.

"Caught me? Did you need something?" She asked.

"Ummm, I was just wondering what you were up to." He said. Sue looked at him curiously.

"My doctor's appointment. Remember?" She asked.

"Oh. Yeah." He said scrunching his eye brows together. "Sorry." He said as he stepped inside and the doors closed.

"Jack, something on your mind?" Sue asked.

"Everything OK?" He asked, not making eye contact with her.

"Yeah, this is just routine." She looked at him curiously. "It's not even about my operation…"

"Umm, I meant, is everything OK with us?" His eyes finally met hers.

"Of course, why would you think otherwise?" She asked. Jack reached for the control panel for the elevator and hit the stop button. "Jack? What are you doing? I have to go."

"Sue… Last night… I just wanted to make sure things were OK between us. That's all." Jack explained.

"Yes, Jack. Things are fine." Sue said in a soothing voice.

"What did you mean last night when you said it was you, not me?" Jack asked, terror filling his eyes.

"Just that." She paused. "Jack. My going home was about me. It was about me trying to stick with my upbringing. It was about me trying to stay true to my beliefs. Can you understand that?" Sue asked.

"Yes. I was just concerned because you left so abruptly." He said softly. Sue leaned in and kissed him sweetly, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him to her. Their lips met with anticipation and need. Jack instantly pressed forward, licking Sue's bottom lip silently asking for permission to increase their passion and deepen their kiss. She granted the silent request, but quickly ended it. She reached forward and pressed the button to start the elevator once more. "I have an appointment." She scolded. He smiled, slightly blushing.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He offered.

"No. Thank you though. I'll talk to you later, ok?" Sue smiled at him, giving him a quick peck as the doors parted.

"Dinner tonight?" He asked. Sue smiled as she exited the elevator and disappeared into the crowded hall of the Hoover building.

XOXOXOX

Sue sat in the waiting area of Dr. Kerswell's office checking messages. She was still receiving emails from students about her appearance at their school. It made her feel good that she had touched so many of them. She wondered how many had even told anyone that they were being bullied, mocked or ridiculed. The thought that so many students were still at the mercy of others who were either oblivious to the results of their actions or uncaring of those end results saddened her.

A pregnant woman came in nearly chasing a little dark haired girl with a head full of banana curls that dangled uncontrolled from the top of her head. Her big brown eyes sparkled with the sheer joy of being three. She was very animated and very excited.

"Mary Ellen, come here and sit with me please." The mother called. But, little Mary Ellen had other ideas once she spotted Levi at Sue's feet.

"Doggie!" She called and bolted right for the golden retriever.

"Mary Ellen, no!" The mother called out. "Don't bother him!"

"I want to pet him mommy." She said with a soft voice.

"No… no, leave them alone." The mom said again. "He's a service dog, which means he's working."

"Working? Lady, is he a doctor too?" She asked. Sue couldn't help but chuckle at the innocent question.

"No, he's not a doctor, he's my hearing dog." Sue explained.

"He hears for you?" She asked.

"Sweetie, don't bother the lady. Come here. Don't be rude." The mother said.

"It's OK, I don't mind. After all, how else do children learn if they don't ask questions?" Sue said. "Yes, he hears for me."

"How?" She asked.

"Well, he lets me know when my phone rings, or when someone is at my door, or when someone calls my name." Sue explained.

"Why?" Mary Ellen asked, sitting in the chair between Sue and her mother.

"Because I can't hear." Sue said.

"Oh. Your ears are broken? Is that why you're at the doctor?" the little brunette asked.

"Yes and no. My ears don't work, but the doctor can't fix them. That's why I have Levi." Sue said.

"Oh. Why don't your ears work?" She asked Sue completely interested in this new revelation.

"No one really knows." Sue answered.

"Come on honey, come play with your doll." Her mother called.

"Can I pet your dog?" She asked.

"Do you know how to approach a strange dog? One who doesn't know you?" Sue asked. The little girl shook her head.

"You hold out your hand flat and put it toward him so he can sniff you." Sue said.

"Why?" Mary Ellen asked.

"So he can tell if you're nice or not." Sue answered. "Is it OK with your mom?"

Mary Ellen turned to her mother who nodded. Her curls bounced as she leaned forward, nearly tipping off the chair, trying to get Levi to sniff her hand. Levi put his nose on her palm which made her giggle, then licked her.

"He likes me!" She shouted.

"Yes, he does." She began to pet Levi's head.

"Hey… if you can't hear, how do you know what I'm saying?" She asked, her head cocked to the side. "Does Levi talk?!" She asked excitedly. Sue giggled. Her eyes grew big as beach balls. "Do you talk dog?!" Sue out right laughed.

"No. Levi can't speak, English anyway. And, I certainly do not understand dog…" She said with a scrunched nose. "Although there are days I would love to know what he is thinking." She took a second to smile once more. "No, Honey I can read your lips." Sue said smiling, watching as Mary Ellen's mouth dropped open.

"Wow!" She said. "You can?"

"I can also talk with my hands, it's called sign language." Sue explained. The young girl stared at Sue in amazement the whole time stroking Levi's back.

"Levi's a super doggie, isn't he?" She asked. Sue giggled.

"I've never thought about it that way, but yes, I guess he is. He loves to play too though. We go to the dog park sometimes and play with his ball." Sue explained.

"Grandpa's dog doesn't like to play. Grammie says he's old. I think he's just bored with his old toys." Mary Ellen said explaining her thoughts on things.

"Oh, well, maybe it's both?" Sue suggested.

"Sue?" came the nurse's voice. Levi suddenly sat up and pawed at Sue's knee making her look up. Mary Ellen jumped back a bit, looking scared.

"It's OK honey. Did the nurse just call my name?" Sue asked. The dark haired little one nodded. "He's just doing his job. He's letting me know that someone is trying to get my attention. It's my turn." Sue said.

"Oh. It was nice meeting you Levi. You too Sue." Mary Ellen said.

"It was very nice to meet you as well. Bye bye." Sue said as she instructed Levi to follow and they headed into the inner office and eventually into an exam room. Sue sat on the table and flipped through a magazine while waiting for her doctor.

"Hi Sue." Dr. Kerswell said as she entered the room.

"Hi. How are you?" She asked.

"I'm great, but isn't that the question I should be asking you?" The doctor asked with a laugh. "Anything you're concerned about? Any discomfort?"

"I felt something tear the other day during a take down." Sue admitted.

"Please tell me you weren't in the middle of things?" Dr. Kerswell said cringing. Sue laughed.

"No, I was in the truck. I was watching surveillance cameras and turned too fast. It hurt, I'll say that. I saw stars." She said.

"I bet you did. You need to be careful how you turn or move your arms. You're not fully healed yet. Why don't you take your blouse and bra off and I'll take a look." The doctor offered. She left Sue and Levi alone for a minute so she could undress. A minute later, the doctor was back. She opened the front of Sue's johnny and began to examine her removed breast area. "Everything looks OK here. You probably just pulled a tendon too far. Go easy, your body has been through a lot." She cautioned.

"I know." Sue said.

"Are you in a lot of pain?" She asked. Sue shook her head. "Good. If you feel like you're having too much discomfort, give me a call, I'll send you for an MRI."

"Thanks." Sue said.

"So, Sue you're not scheduled for an exam yet, or your yearly. What did you need to see me about?" Dr. Kerswell asked.

"Well, I'm getting married in a few months, and I was thinking about birth control." Sue said, uncertain in her request.

"Congratulations! We can certainly talk about it. I think it's a really good idea to not get pregnant for a while yet. You want your body to heal completely, let it rest some from the trauma of the surgery and cancer. I usually recommend at least one year before contemplating a pregnancy." She paused. "Any thoughts on what you'd like to use?" Sue shook her head.

"Well, the first thing we need to do is get a pregnancy test to be sure you're not already pregnant. We don't want you on something if you are." Dr. Kerswell warned.

"I'm not. Pregnant, I mean. I'm not pregnant." Sue clarified.

"Are you sure? What have you and your intended been using? The doctor asked.

"Abstinence." Sue admitted. Dr. Kerswell looked at Sue and smiled.

"That works." She said smiling.

"We're waiting for our wedding night." She was quiet for a minute. "He respects my beliefs."

"He's a good man." Dr. Kerswell asked. Sue's face beamed.

"Very." Sue answered.

"Well, you have a lot of options. How about if I give you some pamphlets to look at and you can make an informed decision?" She asked.

"Sure." Sue said.

"OK, why don't you get dressed and meet me in my office." The doctor said as she parted.

A few minutes later, Sue tapped on the doctor's office door and walked in. Levi sat obediently next to his mistress' feet.

Dr. Kerswell handed Sue a handful of pamphlets. "Take a look at these, and call me if you have any questions. Make another appointment for a couple weeks and we'll talk about them, OK?" She asked. Sue nodded.

"I've heard that birth control has side effects, some that might have an effect on my breast cancer?" Sue asked.

"Yes, some. There's a lot to take in, read a couple a day, don't over whelm yourself." She warned Sue. Sue smiled flipping through the mound of booklets in her hand. "Sue," the doctor said, waving her hand toward Sue. "If you and… I'm sorry, what's your fiancé's name?"

"Jack. His name is Jack." Sue answered, a smile graced her lips.

"If you and Jack do decide to become sexually active before you've made a decision, please use a condom. It's not the best idea for you to become pregnant so soon." She warned.

"I, uh, thanks. I'll keep that in mind." Sue stumbled over the words.

"I put a few in the bag for you, just in case." She said with a wink. Sue smiled and blushed at the suggestion.

"Thanks. I'll hang onto them, but I- we, won't need them." Sue said.

"At least not until your wedding night." She said with a wide smile.

"Well, then, let's hope they'll last until Christmas Eve." Sue said with a smile, a dark pink stain on her cheeks.

Sue made a return appointment and after a quick stop by the park for a much needed detour for Levi, made her way back home. She put her jacket and pocketbook on the chair nearest the entrance and flipped through the mail. Inside was a card addressed to her. She opened it to see it was a picture of Angie and her newest great granddaughter. The picture made her smile.

"Dear Sue,

I've been thinking of you a lot these past few days. I've landed back in the hospital. No worries though, it's simple old age issues that have brought me here this time. It seems that I have weak bones, and managed to break my arm when I tripped in my kitchen. I was hoping we could have lunch soon. Please call me when you get a minute, I would love to hear from you.

Angie"

Sue smiled and immediately picked up her Black Berry and phoned Angie. They made plans to visit over the weekend.

Shortly after Lucy arrived home from a long day at the office. Her hair was mussed, her shirt crumpled and she looked exhausted.

"What happened to you?" Sue asked with a giggle.

"Oh, you don't even want to go there with me. Today was the day from waaaaaaay down under!" She said collapsing on the couch.

"What happened?" Sue asked.

"Randy happened. He suddenly decided that we need to refill out our forms, in triplicate no less, for all of our office supplies, expenses and any other little thing he could think of- for the past three months!" She all but yelled exasperated.

"Oh, no!" Sue said. "Well, I know what I get to look forward to come Monday morning." Sue teased.

"Yeah, but at least you only have a few weeks' worth to do. The rest of us have months to rewrite." Lucy groaned.

"Well, once I've finished mine, I'll lend a hand if you need one." Sue offered.

"So, what's going on with you?" Lucy asked. "How'd you make out at the doctor's today? Is your cancer gone?"

"Oh, it wasn't about the cancer." Sue said. Lucy looked at her curiously. "I- I uh… I went to talk to Dr. Kerswell about birth control options." Sue said, her cheeks once again staining with shades of pink.

"Oh? Are you and Jack…" She began. Sue blushed profusely.

"No, nothing like that." She said.

"Then the need for the birth control?" Lucy pushed.

"Well, we are getting married in a few months." Sue explained.

"True. You two don't want kids?" Lucy asked cautiously.

"No, we do, but right now, it's not the best idea." Sue said. Lucy looked at her with concern.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Jack said he wants me to himself for a while, and Dr. Kerswell said she would rather I not get pregnant right away." Sue said.

"Wait? I thought the cancer was gone? Is there something you're not telling me?" Lucy asked.

"No. No. It's nothing like that. She wants my body to heal from the surgery and the cancer before I try to carry a baby. And, I think it's sweet that Jack wants me to himself for a while. I think with everything being so new between us I want to spend some alone time with him too. I want to get used to having a husband, and being a wife before I have to figure motherhood out." She said with a shy smile.

"Yeah, I can understand that too." Lucy said. "Promise me, if there's anything you need to talk about, or if things change with the cancer, you'll talk to me about it?"

"I will." Sue reassured her. Sue hesitated. "Well, since you offered… I don't suppose you know anything about these, do you?" Sue asked holding up the pamphlets the doctor had given her.

"I know that the pill and rings have hormones in them that might be something to talk to Dr. Kerswell about. I don't know if they promote cancer at all. I know the pill can cause breast tenderness. Condoms break, or get forgotten. Not using anything is a big gamble. I use the pill, it works for me." Lucy said honestly.

"I didn't realize…." Sue began.

"It's not like I advertise it, but it's foolish this day in age not to use something. Most women our age are sexually active, and focused on their careers. I would talk to your doctor before you make a decision." Lucy suggested. Lucy made her way into the kitchen and rummaged through the refrigerator looking for something to snack on. "Are you and Jack going out tonight?"

"No, not tonight. He asked, but I'd rather spend the evening with my best friend. I'll call him later to let him know how the appointment went. Why, want to do something?" Sue asked.

"Yeah. I really do. Any suggestions?" Lucy asked. Sue smiled.

"Dinner and bowling?" Sue suggested.

"Dinner and a movie?" Lucy countered.

"OK…pick a movie and I'll change my shoes." Sue said.

"Great! Hey, do you want to go shopping tomorrow?" Lucy asked.

"Can't. I'm meeting Angie for lunch." Sue said. "Poor thing broke her arm."

"Oh, I hope she's alright!" Lucy paused. "Well, lunch with her sounds like fun." Lucy said as they closed their door and headed down the hall for a girls night out.