I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own my OC. (and yeah, that's the only thing I wanted to say)

Oh, and sorry for the typos! I'm such a horrible person (when it comes to writing stuff)!

XxX

Chapter 20

'Big brother!' a girl screamed as she rushed towards the boy standing by the gate of the church. 'Lots of people are here today, huh, big brother?' the little boy asked the slightly older boy as the young girl joined them at the gate.

I was standing next to them, dressed in black pants and a black coat, even though I wasn't going to step inside the church.

'Why?' asked the girl, looking up at the tallest boy.

'I don't know,' the eldest boy answered, but somehow I got the feeling that he did have an idea, but he just didn't want to say that to his siblings.

The youngest brother looked at his brother in surprise. 'But you're older! You don't know?'

The girl pointed bluntly at the boy. 'Are you dumb?' she asked him.

'I'm only twelve!' the boy said flustered. 'I don't have to know everything!'

Just as I wanted to open my mouth to tell them what the fuss was all about, a familiar voice from before me said: 'Indeed.'

I looked away from the children and saw the Undertaker standing there, at the other side of the gate, looking at the three children. 'It's only natural a normal twelve-year old boy wouldn't know,' he said, clearly referring to Ciel. 'Today is a certain noblewoman's big day,' he went on, making it sound as though someone was getting married.

The children looked pretty scared when they saw the Undertaker. The eldest even pulled his younger siblings away from the man, but that didn't stop the girl from asking: 'Big day?' But after that, the eldest covered her mouth, did not want her to say anything more to the man.

I understood that the Undertaker looked pretty creepy to them, but I didn't feel the need to step in and do something about it.

'Yes,' the Undertaker answered. 'A person's final, biggest ceremony in life.'

Well, in death was the better word, but if that's how he wanted to think it, then I wouldn't ruin that for him.

'The funeral,' the Undertaker finally said, making the three kids look back at the church with different eyes this time.

That was the moment that I thought it was best to step in. 'Hey, hey, you guys, this is not a place for kids to be hanging around,' I said as I approached the children. 'Go home, this is a private ceremony.'

The eldest one seemed happy to obey me and pulled his sibling away from the church as they crossed the road, probably going home.

The Undertaker laughed. 'Aah, if it isn't you, Clarissa!' he said, sounding happy in his creepy sort of way.

I sighed, closing my eyes for a second. 'Don't you have better things to do, Undertaker?' I asked as I leaned against the gate. 'It's not like you really knew her or anything.'

'But I did design the coffin,' he said. 'And I made her pretty for her big day!'

'Well, Ciel doesn't seem to agree with that,' I said, pointing at the boy who was opening the door of the church with a red dress in his hands. He was now walking with a walking stick, but somehow it didn't look pathetic, but strong.

'What?' The Undertaker said, turning around. 'Oh no! The flowers!' he then said, running away towards Sebastian, who was standing next to some sort of carriage in front of the church. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but then I saw the red petals of roses flying from the carriage, entering the church and some of them flying into the air and disappearing from my sight.

Suddenly I felt like crying, but I didn't. I just put a sat smile on my face and started singing. 'London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London bridge is falling down, my fair lady.' I repeated and repeated until I saw that the three children had returned and were looking at me with eyes full of curiosity.

The little girl turned to her brother again. 'Brother, why is she singing?'

XxX

After the funeral there was a dinner party that I was invited to, but I didn't attend. I went back home with Mei-Rin and the others. But since Ciel needed the car, we were going by bus.

'So Madame Red won't come to visit anymore,' Finnian said. Me and Mei-Rin were able to sit, but he and Baldroy didn't have enough space in the bus so they were standing next to our seats. 'It'll be lonely.'

Mei-Rin looked sad and I knew that I looked the same, but I also knew that I looked sad for a different reason. These three thought that Madame Red had been a victim of Jack the Copycat. And in some ways she had been. But the truth was more complicated.

Baldroy managed to pull a smile on his face. 'What's with the long faces? This is exactly the kind of time when we need to support our young master!'

Mei-Rin and Finnian immediately brought forced smiles on their faces, but it didn't look ridiculous. It looked brave and strong. 'Right!' they said, their fighting spirit lift again.

I looked out of the window, somehow feeling like somewhere else, something heavy was going on. I felt as though Ciel needed help, a kind of help that Sebastian couldn't give him and a kind of help that he would never accept from me. But I wanted to help him.

I almost started crying, but a hand on my knee made me look up before I could. Mei-Rin, Baldroy and Finnian were looking at me with worrying eyes. 'Are you okay, yes?' Mei-Rin asked.

I opened my mouth, closed it again and opened it again. 'No,' I said in all honesty. 'But right now, it's not about me. Don't worry about me.' I looked back at the window again, saw how the sun was slowly disappearing and the night was starting to come. 'Worry about your master,' I said, still looking out of the window. 'He needs all the care he can get.' And Sebastian would never give him such care.

XxX

As we arrived at the mansion, Finnian went to work in the kitchen, Mei-Rin went to go and clean the silverware and Baldroy went to the kitchen to see if there was anything he could prepare for dinner today.

And I just walked through the mansion with no direction, knowing that the cat was once again following me. I didn't mind. I was used to having him as my personal stalker, at least as long as I was inside this mansion.

I somehow ended up in the ballroom, where Ciel and Elizabeth had danced and me and Sebastian had… well, danced, but it was more like Sebastian making fun of me. I sat down behind the grand piano that was standing in the ballroom.

I knew that the cat was at my feet, looking up at me, but I couldn't bring myself to look into his red eyes, so I didn't. I just touched one key on the piano. And another one. And another one until I was playing an actual song. I wasn't playing something hard, since I had only had piano lessons for a year, but I wasn't sure for who I was playing. Playing for Ciel, because he had lost is aunt and in some respects his way, playing for the house staff, because they were useless, playing for Sebastian, because I was certain that he would never have any understanding for the human heart. Playing for Madame Red, because something had changed that lady that had seemed so kind into a serial killer. Playing for her because she was dead and maybe I could have stopped it if I had just been there.

Maybe I should've died instead for her. I'm not important to anyone. I don't have family. I wouldn't give anything up, even if I die now.

My fingers stopped playing. I just stared at the keys, trying to stop from feeling down, trying to stop feeling. But I knew that that wasn't how the human heart worked.

I needed Sebastian to take it away.

The moment I thought that, I stood up. No. Was that the way how I handled my problems? Run to Sebastian and hope he'd fix them for me?

No. I wasn't going to rely on him anymore. Sebastian clearly wasn't the right person to believe in. The only problem was that I wasn't sure who was.

I walked to my room and stepped inside, letting myself fall into the bed and closing my eyes for a while. Then I realised that I'd seen something strange and I shot back up, staring at the chair in the corner of the room.

On the chair stood a porcelain doll, looking at me with purple eyes.

But the thing that freaked me out was that she looked exactly like me.

XxX

I grabbed the doll and walked towards Ciel's office, though I knew that he would not be there yet. I put the doll on his desk, but the moment I wanted to leave, my eyes fell on the newspaper that was laying on the desk.

The headline on the front page was about the murders, the death of Madame Red and that other lady, but it wasn't the headline that interested me. It was one of the other headlines, that directed you to another page. Mad patient escaped from London Central Asylum.

I froze, knew who it was before I even turned the page to see a photo of a familiar face, but this time, he still had blue eyes.

Drossel Keinz had escaped.

And somehow I knew they would come for me.

And I was correct. As I walked through the corridor I saw Mei-Rin and the police officer – Abberline – walking through the house, clearly looking for something. And with something, I meant me.

'Ah! Clarissa!' Mei-Rin said. 'T-this man wants to s-speak with you, yes!' she said.

I nodded. 'Police inspector Abberline,' I said as sanely as I could.

'Clarissa Lane,' he said, clearly not happy that he was here on his own. 'I'm h-here to ask you about the events that occurred in the hospital yesterday and when I called your guardian, he said I could find you here.'

'Well, as you can see, Ash was correct,' I said, knowing that the guardian he was talking about wasn't Madame Red. 'But this isn't the place to talk about that. Why don't you come to the living room? We can have our conversation there,' I said, using my secretary-tone, the one I always used when I played secretary for my father.

'S-s-sure,' he answered, following me towards the room that I called 'the living room' even though I wasn't sure if it was a living room. It was just a room with a bench, a tea table, a pool table and a few chairs. I sat down in one of the chairs and Abberline sat down on the bench, looking incredible uncomfortable. The fact that he wasn't wearing his coat anymore told me that Mei-Rin had at least done one aspect of being a maid right.

'As y-y-you might have heard,' he started, playing with the handle of his bag, 'there has been an escape. And the nurse said that she'd seen a girl in the department talking with the escaped patient and the girl she described seemed to be you,' he said, trying to find the right words.

'Yes, I got lost,' I said, not brave enough to tell the truth. 'I did meet a patient there, but aside from the fact that he was singing the whole time, he seemed perfectly fine to me.'

Abberline cleared his throat and then he said something that made me frown: 'This is something that I don't like to say, but you have to know that you are one of the main suspects for this case, since there have been very suspicious incident occurring around your social circles.'

Pfft, as if I even had 'social circles'. 'Such as?'

'The suicide of your father and the murder of Angelina Dalles,' he said, looking incredible guilty as he did.

'Oh?' I said, trying to act as innocent as I could. 'It's not like I could've saved my father from his horrible choice and I don't think I could have done anything to save Angelina either. Poor Ciel,' I added, for dramatic effect.

Even though my act that been really fake, Abberline believed it. 'Yes, I know! And I'm sorry! But Randall told me to ask you about that!' he said as the scribbled down something in this tiny little book.

I sighed. 'Well, I guess it isn't strange that you ask such questions. But believe me, the death of my father wasn't something I would've prevented. Neither was the death of Angelina Dalles.' Though I did believe that I could've saved them. But I didn't. Did that make me a demon?

Now that I think if it, that was something I used to think. That I was a demon, a devil. I had killed my mother, made my father angry and people at school are in the town never seemed to like me. So I was a demon. A demon who nobody could love and could love nobody. That was what I always thought as a child. Had I been wrong? Maybe not, but now I was sure that I at least wasn't a demon. Not literally, in any case.

Abberline cleared his throat again. 'There's another question that I don't want to ask, but need to ask because of the importance for the case,' he said.

That didn't sound too good. 'Okay, let's hear it, then.' If I pretended that I had nothing to hide, maybe he would believe me and go away before Ciel came home. I didn't think that he would appreciate it if he knew that there was a police officer in his home.

'Well… do you have any sort of relationship with Ciel Phantomhive?' he asked, looking more embarrassed than I when I heard the question, though I did blush.

'I do believe me and Ciel have a relationship, but it doesn't go beyond friendship, though.' I believed it wasn't even called 'friendship'. It was more like we were kind of stuck with each other for some reason.

Abberline sighed a relieved sigh, seemed happy that I'd handled that question so well. 'And do you have any sort of relationship with Sebastian Michaelis?' he asked.

That immediately cracked the mood. 'Not really,' I said cranky.

Abberline looked at me with frowned eyebrows. 'I'm sorry, but… could you m-maybe… clarify?'

I sighed, didn't want to talk to anyone about Sebastian. Not even with Sebastian himself. 'Since Sebastian is always with Ciel, it's sort of inevitable that I know him, but he and I don't really have any sort of relationship, no friendship, no hardship.' No common sense was also a thing that me and Sebastian seemed to lack, or in any case I lacked when he tried to seduce me. Oh, hell, not tried. Succeeded. 'Is that everything?' I asked, suddenly really not liking this guy anymore.

'I-I-I believe so,' he said, still writing down stuff.

'Great, because I need to start with my homework,' I said, knowing that when he was gone, I wouldn't do any homework. Not that I didn't have any, it was just that I didn't want to do it after everything that had happened. I was sure the teachers wouldn't mind. Uhum.

I showed Abberline the door and returned to my room after that, only to find the same doll from before on the same spot again.

But I was sure that I'd but it on Ciel's desk.

XxX

The white snow fell down, while night was watching over the city. It seemed to be silent in the city, except for the loud footsteps of men, running away and after each other.

The man ran down the street as fast as he could, the gun in his hand seemed that much heavier as he tried to escape.

'Shit! Don't let him get away!' one of the man that was running after him ordered the others. 'Does Tim even know how hard we worked to steal that thing?!' It was incredible that he was able to sound so understandable while he was running so fast, but it seemed as though the younger man that was running away from them was faster.

As the man reached the bridge he stood still, looking at his closed fist, thinking about the thing that was in that fist. He was breathing heavy, but was almost certain that he'd lost the ones who were chasing him.

Then the man started to laugh. 'It's mine now,' he said, a devious smile on his face. 'I won't let anyone else have it.'

Then someone spoke. 'You are not suited for that ring,' a voice as clear as the voice of an angel said. His voice seemed to echo through the city.

Before the man could turn around to face the creature that was standing on the bridge, he felt as though a thousand ropes had caught him and he could feel them pulling tighter and tighter around him, making him bleed.

Then the creature on the bridge suddenly stood closer, but in the darkness it was almost impossible to see its face. 'The Hope piece is searching for a worthy master, you see,' the angelic voice explained, as if that was the most logical thing in the world. His voice had a strange monotone tone, but that was the least of the man's worries right now.

The man only had one worry when the ropes became tighter and tighter.

Death.

As the corpse fell from the bridge into the frozen lake, the man who'd been chasing the man finally reached him, only seeing the dark figure fall from the bridge.

'He jumped!' one of them said, sounding surprised but also a bit impressed.

'That damn fool…' another said, not even looking sad that one of his closest friends until that moment had died. He was angry, he'd lost his treasure.

But none of the three men noticed the other creature on the bridge, maybe because he was already gone, but most likably because his form had been consumed by darkness.

XxX

Chapter twenty has ended! I can't believe I've already writing twenty chapters!

I'm sorry that there isn't any SebxClary stuff in this chapter, but other things were more important now.

And since we have come to the part of the story where it is winter, we kind of get a Christmas-special! Though not really, since I won't put in more Christmas than the anime does.

wolf-akuma: thank you! :D I'm sorry that it only lasted for a second, but I don't think Clarissa would have dragged it out any longer, since she just did it on impulse (I mean, who wouldn't kiss Sebas-chan on impulse? I know I would)