AN: Thank you all somuch for your continued reviews; they keep me motivated to keep writing. I took some of your advice; and parts of this chapter are in Henry's POV, so I hope you enjoy. This was a tough one for me to write - you'll soon see why. Many apologies for the delay; I was on vacation this week.

I was so sad to see no new stories this week upon my arrival home! Come on fellow writers - lets keep this fandom going!

*****Promises******

Henry McCord hated fighting with his wife. More than anything. They rarely fought as it was, at least seriously fought. Sure they had disagreements from time to time, but only over minor things. Even then, they never fought unfairly or hit each other below the belt. But he had this time. "I can't promise you what it will be like when you come back."

He hated himself the second the words left his mouth. It was a completely selfish thing to say. He knew how difficult the past few years had been for her; or rather for them. The war had been taxing on their family, mostly because of her work. And he couldn't blame her. It was important work she was doing; she was trying to end the war, trying to make it more humane. He believed it was his time away that made her so against war; it had taken 2 years of their time and it had hurt her, just as much as it hurt him. She was fighting desperately to make sure her children didn't have to face a world at war; but they were. And they were much too young to understand why their mother had to work so much, and why she would always look so defeated all the time.

But Henry did. Selfishly he didn't want her to go back to Baghdad. He didn't want to be away from her again. He didn't want to have to explain to the kids where mommy was. He didn't want her to miss any moment of their childhood. He didn't want the war to take away any more than it already had. Was that so wrong? No. But what he said to his wife was. He should have just said, "Babe, I don't want you to go. I'll miss you too much."

He'd been gentle with her the past couple years; allowing her the space to do what she felt she needed to at work. He could tell she was reaching her breaking point; and maybe what he said had pushed her just enough to realize that. He would never want her to jeopardize her career that she loved, but they made a promise long ago that they would never put work above family. And she was starting to. Albeit her reasons were to protect her family, but there had to be another way. She didn't need to go to Baghdad to do that. He had been overseas, he knew first hand what she would face. He knew she was tough and could do a great job, but she'd seen enough, been through enough. He knew you couldn't fundamentally change a culture in a year. He had studied religion and war enough to know better. His experience taught him that one person could only do so much in the field. It was taxing and grueling. He knew when enough was enough and you had to back off and support your country in other ways. He knew Elizabeth had reached this point, he only hoped she'd realize it too - and soon.

*****Promises*****

It had started out like another normal day. Henry McCord had kissed his wife goodbye as she left for work. He made the kids breakfast, drove Stevie to school and dropped Ally off at Miss Janey's. Janey was her babysitter on Mondays and Tuesdays while Alice was off.

He was enjoying a cup of coffee with his colleagues at UVA before his classes begun when the TV in the background switched to a breaking new story: a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center.

Henry's eyes were glued to the TV as were everyone's. He couldn't believe his eyes, the images looked so unreal. Then as the live feed continued on a second plane crashed into the second tower, right on live TV. He swallowed a lump in his throat and tried to calm his racing heart as the reporters threw out speculations on what cause this: terrorism.

Henry went off to his class, and turned on the TV in his classroom. He told the students that this was more important than anything he had to lecture about and said they could stay and watch, or leave, or whatever they felt they needed to do.

As the morning went on they broke in with news of the pentagon evacuation and his mind immediately drifted to his wife, she worked at a government building. Was she okay? He was sure they were being flooded with information trying to figure out what actually happened.

Then his phone rang. "Babe?"

"Are you watching?" she asked. He could tell there were tears in her eyes.

"Are you okay babe?"

"Yea. We're in the bunker." She whispered. "Henry it was Al Qaida."

He swallowed. He didn't want his students to be alarmed, that information hadn't broken on the news for sure yet.

"Henry?"

"I'm here babe."

"Remember the USS Cole? George and I….we tried to tell Dalton that it was a preamble. We didn't know when….but he wouldn't listen. This is our fault."

"It's not your fault." He said firmly.

"But if we could have…."

"Babe, you told him. You tried."

"I could have tried harder."

"No."

"Henry. The president is being briefed as we speak. He's going to ground all flights and close all federal buildings. We're getting reports there might be more. I need you to go home, get the girls and….be safe." She said quietly.

"Okay." He agreed. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I will. I love you."

"I love you too. Call me when you're home with my babies."

"I will. Babe, you be safe too. Come home as quick as you can."

After he hung up with his wife, he had received a call from Stevie's school saying they were closing down as a precaution. He said he would be right there to pick up his daughter.

"Daddy, what's going on?" Stevie had asked him. "The teacher said that there was an accident in New York."

"There was sweetheart."

"But we don't live in New York."

"I know sweetheart, but they don't want an accident here, so that's why they are sending everyone home."

"Oh. Is mommy coming home then too?"

"Yea, she'll be home later."

"Okay."

Henry was thankful Stevie didn't ask too many questions, he wasn't sure how to explain a terror attack to a six year old.

The day had been oddly quiet. The girls went and played in Stevie's room while Henry watched the coverage all day, completely numb.

Elizabeth had walked through the door in the early afternoon, looking equally numb. She dropped her bag and jacket and immediately nuzzled into his embrace. He didn't recall how long they held each other, quietly preparing for the difficult days ahead. They both knew it meant war.

The girls came downstairs looking for a snack when they saw their mother home. She smiled and hugged both of them tight, so happy they were safe. "Mommy, there was an accident in New York. That's why we got sent home from school."

"I know baby. Mommy got sent home from work too."

"Mommy's home." Ally said in her sweet 18 month old voice. She held out a story book. "Read pwease?"

"Okay, let's go read." She agreed. She knew it was coming close to Allison's nap time and she always got a story before nap time.

Elizabeth read Ally her story and put her down for a nap, then colored with Stevie for a while in her room while Henry cooked dinner. Dinner was silent, and the food tasted bland. Neither had an appetite.

They stayed up watching the news until almost midnight before finally going to bed. They made love that night, slowly and quietly, desperately seeking the comfort of each other. They cried after, and held each other as they mourned the loss of their friends that worked at the WTC & Pentagon and worried about the difficult days ahead.

****Promises*****

As expected it had been a hectic week for Elizabeth at work. She worked almost 60 hours straight since the 11th and finally came home on Friday evening and flopped on the couch.

The girls greeted her and she forced a tired smile and kissed them. "I missed you girls."

She caught up with the girls while Henry warmed her up some leftovers from the meal he'd prepared earlier. She eventually walked into the kitchen and kissed him.

"Saved you dinner."

"Thanks." She said and managed a few small bites.

"You okay?" he asked, concerned she wasn't eating.

"Just exhausted."

"I bet."

"And the terrible cramps." She whined.

Henry nodded sympathetically; she didn't get cramps often, but when she did they were bad. "How about a hot bath?"

"Sounds nice."

She put the girls to sleep and when she arrived in to the bathroom Henry was preparing a steaming hot bubble bath. She smiled. "I love you."

"Love you too babe." He said, giving her a quick kiss.

He left her alone in the bathroom and as she stripped her clothing she noticed she'd been bleeding much heavier than normal. Chalking it up to stress from the week she climbed in the bath and hoped the hot water could soothe her cramps away.

It helped, but she still felt icky. She laid a towel down on her side of the bed, just in case and climbed under the covers and snuggled up to her husband.

Sometime in the middle of the night she awoke in a hot sweat. As she threw off the covers she noticed blood soaked through her pajama bottoms. "Oh god." she muttered, as the cramps intensified.

Henry stirred and noticed his wife sitting up in bed, then he saw the blood. "Oh my god. Honey, what's wrong?"

She shook her head. She didn't know. Her first thought was immediately her mother's cancer. "Do you want to go to the hospital?" he asked her.

"No, I don't want to scare the girls." She said. "Maybe another bath for now?" she suggested.

"Okay." Henry agreed but was still concerned, and if it got worse he wasn't going to accept her protests of going to the hospital.

Henry ran her a fresh bath and threw her pajamas and the bloody towel into the washer. Luckily the sheets remained clean. He checked on the girls, still sleeping soundly and re-joined his wife in the bathroom.

"I think it's stopping." She said to him, indicating her cramps were subsiding.

He sat beside the tub and stroked her cheek. "Good. But I think you should go to the doctor tomorrow and get checked out. There was a lot of blood babe."

She nodded and looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "What if it's the cancer?"

Henry frowned. He hoped not. "Then we'll fight it together. We'll beat it." He told her.

She nodded again and closed her eyes.

****Promises****

The next morning Miss Janey came by to watch the girls while he took Elizabeth to visit Dr. Miller.

Dr. Miller re-entered the room where they waited the results of her blood tests after explaining what happened.

Henry gripped her hand; Dr. Miller did not have a happy expression.

"It's cancer, isn't it?" she blurted out

"No. It's not." Dr. Miller confirmed.

"Then what?" Henry pushed

"I'm so very sorry. But I believe you had a miscarriage." He said. Elizabeth and Henry looked dumbfounded. They couldn't speak. A miscarriage.

"The symptoms you described read miscarriage to the letter. After I looked at your blood tests I see that your hormone levels would put you at about 7 weeks pregnant." He explained gently. "I'm going to have to perform a D&C. I want to make sure everything is out. If there is any tissue or anything remaining, you can get a severe infection."

Silent tears trickled down Elizabeth's cheek. "I didn't even know…it's all my fault."

Henry gripped her hand tighter and Dr. Miller handed her a tissue.

"No Elizabeth, you must not blame yourself." Dr. Miller began. "7 weeks is when you would typically be finding out. Unless you have been sick like you were with Stevie, you wouldn't have had any reason to speculate."

"I thought it was just a bad period at first." She admitted.

"And that's what most people assume. These things happen a lot early on. It isn't anyone's fault." He assured her. "I know that doesn't make it hurt any less, but really, don't blame yourself."

She nodded. Although she did blame herself. "Were you trying to have another baby?" Dr. Miller asked.

"We started talking about it." Henry replied.

Dr. Miller nodded. "You can still have another baby. Lots of women have a miscarriage and then have perfectly normal babies."

She nodded and Henry kissed her hand. "Can stress cause a miscarriage?" she asked quietly, fully blaming herself for her workload this week.

"There is no concrete medical evidence of that. " he said, he knew what she was getting at.

Henry had remained silent for most of the appointment. He had been as surprised as she was that what she experienced the previous night was a miscarriage. It was such a strange moment. On one hand he'd been thrilled they made a third baby. But then it had been taken away instantly. It was like a cruel joke. It had been the worst week of their lives. First 9/11, now this.

He tried to comfort his wife as best as he could during the D&C. He held her hand and brushed the silent tears from her cheeks. He told her he loved her and that it would be okay. But she wouldn't meet his eyes, at one point she turned her head the other way and stared at the flowered painting on the wall.

He knew she was blaming herself, even though the doctor told her not to. There wasn't anything he could do except hold her hand.

After the procedure was over they drove home, in silence. Elizabeth still refused to look at him, but he never once let go of her hand. She was told to rest for the next 2 days and to return on Monday for a follow up.

When they arrived home Elizabeth went straight to bed and locked the door. "Sweetheart…." He tried. He could hear her sobs through the door and wanted nothing more than to hold her. He'd lost his baby too. He asked Miss Janey to take the girls out for lunch and to the park after he explained what happened.

Henry located the key to the bedroom door and opened it. She was curled in a ball in the middle of the bed, but no longer crying.

He sighed and crawled in beside her, curling his body around his. "Hey….honey?" he tried again. "Please talk to me."

She didn't respond.

"Baby, I'm just as sad as you." He whispered to her, trying to blink back his own tears.

He laid with her until the kids got home in silence, kissing her forehead gently as he went to say goodbye to Miss Janey. Maybe she'd fallen asleep for a bit, he didn't know. She wasn't responding to anything.

The girls of course asked where mommy was. He had said that she got sick last night and was in bed resting and that they shouldn't bother her.

He buried his sorrow for the loss of their unborn baby in his healthy, beautiful girls.

****Promises*****

When Henry McCord awoke from an un-restful sleep the next morning he reached his hand out for his wife, and noticed her missing from their bed.

He quickly showered and dressed before heading downstairs. He noticed both girls beds' were empty and found them watching cartoons and eating cereal. "Hi Daddy." Stevie said. "I made cereal; hope that's okay?"

"You made cereal?" he inquired, wondering why Elizabeth hadn't made it. She must have been downstairs if she wasn't in bed with him.

"I did. I only spilled a little." She said.

"Stevie, where's mom?"

"Sleeping probably. She's sick, duh!" His oldest replied, thinking nothing of it.

He nodded and began searching for his wife. After a few minutes he noticed her car was missing from the garage. Damn it. She wasn't supposed to be driving following her procedure yesterday. He tried his best to contain his temper and worry; maybe she just went to get milk or something.

He grabbed himself some cereal, cleaning up where Stevie spilled, and watched cartoons with the girls keeping his eye on the clock. When Elizabeth hadn't returned home in an hour he began to worry. What if something happened? Where did she go?

Then the phone rang.

"Elizabeth?" he asked. "Where the hell are you, I've been worried sick…."

"Henry, It's John." John interrupted.

"Oh John. I'm sorry. Hello."

"I just wanted to call you and let you know Elizabeth is okay. She's here at the farm with me."

"Oh thank god!" he said, relieved. He was just glad she was okay. He would deal with the why later.

"I'm so very sorry about what happened yesterday." John said sincerely.

"How did you-?"

"Elizabeth told me."

*****Promises******
In the wee hours of the morning Elizabeth shifted in bed. She couldn't sleep. She lost their baby, how could she?

She blamed herself, how could she not have felt anything? How could she not know she was pregnant? If she only knew, then she would have been more careful, she could have prevented this. Despite what her doctor told her, this is what she believed.

Then her mind shifted back to Tuesday. No. It was Al Qaida's fault too. Terrorists had killed their sweet baby. She had convinced herself if she didn't just work 60 hours straight that she wouldn't have miscarried. It was that evening after she and Henry had sex that's he started bleeding lightly.

As she looked over at her wonderful husband she felt so guilty, that she'd failed as a mother, as a wife. She couldn't even keep their baby alive. She couldn't even look him in the eye. She was so afraid he'd be mad at her, hate her for what she did.

Then she had another thought. If only her mother were here. She could make it better. She had 2 miscarriages after all. She'd know what to do. No Elizabeth, she thought to herself, your mother had cancer. Her miscarriages were justified, yours isn't.

All of her thoughts were completely irrational. Maybe it was her pain medication, maybe not, but she believed every single one at the moment.

Finally she had one more thought, this one somewhat rational. Daddy. He's the only one who would understand. He had seen it happen to her mother, he would know what to do.

As soon as the sun filtered through the curtains, she got out of bed quietly, threw on her jeans and a fresh sweater and sped off to the farm without a note or goodbye.

She opened the door to the house using her key and flew through the house, looking for her father. She found him in his office reading the paper and sipping coffee. "Elizabeth! What on earth are you doing here?" he asked.

She broke down and ran to him like a little girl.

"What is it Lizzie? What's wrong?" he asked as wrapped her in his arms.

"You're the only one who will understand." She sobbed

"What sweetheart?"

"Henry hates me."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. He loves you sweetheart."

"Not anymore, not after what I've done."

"Honey, there is nothing on this earth that would make that man not love you." John insisted.

"I killed our baby!" she cried.

John didn't understand. "What?"

"I had a miscarriage yesterday. I didn't even know I was pregnant. How could I not have known? Henry hates me, I'm sure of it. And he has every right to. I killed our baby."

"Oh Lizzie bear." Her father whispered. "I'm so sorry sweetheart."

He held her in silence and let her cry, for the loss of her baby and the imagined hatred her husband had for her. When she finally pulled back he wiped at her tears and said. "I know this is really though. I've been where Henry is."

"I know, you're the only one who understands. What do I do?"

"Lizzie. I've been where Henry is. Let me tell you , he doesn't hate you. I didn't hate your mother when she had 2 miscarriages."

"But she had cancer. It wasn't her fault."

"It isn't your fault either, cancer or not." He assured her.

"Dr. Miller said that."

"He's right sweetheart. And Henry loves you. But try and remember, he's upset too. He lost a baby too."

She thought about it for a moment and agreed. "I suppose. But what do I do, how do I…."

"Have you told him any of this?"

"No." she looked down

"Well that's where you start. You tell him all these feelings you have. And you let him tell you his. Then you hold each other and cry together, and you get through it together."

"You're right…" she sniffled.

"Lizzie. I do understand. You know that right."

She nodded.

"It will be okay. I promise." John told his daughter. "Alice is making breakfast, go have some and I'll call Henry, tell him you're here."

****Promises*****

The girls were thrilled with their impromptu visit to Grandpa's farm. Stevie ran right in the door and jumped into her Grandpa's arms. "Grandpa! Can we go riding?"

"Okay, okay." John agreed. "Go get on your boots, I'll be there in a minute."

John gave Henry a quick hug after Stevie ran off. "Thank you." Henry said.

"If you need anything…"

"Yea."

John turned his attention to Allison who tugged on his pants and picked her up. "Gwan-pa."

"Hey, Munchkin! Do you want to go pet the horses?"

Elizabeth slowly walked down the stairs and saw Henry. "Hi." She said.

She looked like a mess. He could tell she'd been crying. "Hi." He said back.

She looked at him for a moment and flung herself in his arms. "I'm so sorry." She cried.

He held his wife, rubbing her back. "It's okay." He kept repeating.

When she calmed down he offered to take her for a walk and she agreed. They walked for a while in silence, through the beautiful grounds on the farm. The leaves were just shifting colors. "Henry. I know I shouldn't have ran out like that, but my mind has just been non-stop. I had to talk to him. He's the only one who understands." She began.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"My mom had two miscarriages."

"You never told me…."he said. Now he understood her need to see her father. Clearly it had helped.

"I'm really sorry I never considered your feelings." She apologized. "I just thought you must hate me for killing our baby."

"I could never hate you, ever." He assured her, stopping them to look her in the eye. "I love you. More than anything. And you did not kill our baby. It's not your fault."

"I know it's not. In my head I know that. But I still feel responsible. I should have felt something. I should have known."

"Look. I'm not a woman, so I can't pretend to know how it feels to have a baby inside you. But the doctor said you couldn't have known."

She went on to tell him about her further conclusions of blame on the war. He pulled her into his arms and held her. He wasn't sure he could completely disagree there.

"I'm sad too baby. I feel guilty too. Maybe I should have insisted you go to the hospital that night."

"No!" she insisted. "All that blood, it was probably too late."

"You're probably right. I just. I miss our baby too. We'll never know the gender of the baby we lost, we'll never get to name it. Never get to feel it kick inside your belly."

"We can still have another." She reminded. "Dr. Miller said we could try again in a couple of months."

"I know. And believe me, my heart is always open to another baby. But I don't want to rush you after this. And even if we never do have another baby, know this. I love you and our girls more than anything. This is enough for me. But of course, if we do have another, I'll be just as happy as I am now."

"Maybe we should just see what happens. If it does, it does. If it doesn't, it doesn't."

"Yea. I mean maybe this is God's way. Maybe now is just not the time for a third baby."

She nodded. Henry would always turn to God for guidance.

"Just promise me you won't ever run off like that and bottle up your feelings. You scared me to death."

"I'm sorry. I won't. I promise."

"Alright." He said, giving her a quick kiss.

She deepened the kiss and they made out for a while, comforting one another as they stood in the middle of the trail, the beautiful fall air surrounding them. When the kiss broke she yawned and he wrapped his arm around her as they headed back to the house.