A/N: Don't know that there's any warnings for this one really, I mean Usopp's an orphan and Kuro's a scumbag, but... otherwise... yeah. Enjoy!
"Betcha he's a great pirate!" A collective groan echoed down the bunk room, but the young storyteller ignored them, jumping to the head of his bed to pose with a foot on the end of the frame.
"What's the story this time, Usopp?" Someone called.
Someone else threw a pillow at him, "What's it matter!? Go to bed!"
But a collection of the other boys in the room gathered around him, and he soaked up the attention with a huge grin. "He's strong and brave and he's gotta stick by his captain or else the whole crew'll fall apart!"
"If he's so great, where's he at?"
"They sail all over the world!" Usopp defended.
Somebody snorted, "Yeah? Why?"
"Cuz they're on the run from the government." A gasp rippled through his audience, and he leaned over the edge down at them with a dark light in his eyes. "They saved a princess in this desert country across the ocean, see, but the navy don't wanna admit that pirates did it. So, he's gotta help them keep a weather eye out for marines and coast guard ships!" He mimicked it, using his hands to adjust his invisible spyglass. "And he's gotta keep 'em a step ahead cuz otherwise they'll find out about me!"
"Why, Usopp!? Why?!" His fans leaned in closer while the ones who'd been doubting him were trying to listen without being caught. They didn't want to admit that maybe the little liar just might be right.
"Cuz if they knew about me," like a monkey the curly-haired boy swung up onto the top bunk. He jammed his thumb into his chest, boasting proudly, "they'd have to take me into custody cuz of my sniping skills!" Another groan came from the doubters, but he ignored them again, "And it don't matter that I'm just a kid, if they catch him and his crew, they'll be scared cuz as soon as they shake the navy tail, he's gonna come take me to join the crew with him. And we'll be unstoppable!"
He flopped back onto the bed, having realized most of the other kids had stopped listening, too tired to stay awake any longer. With a small sigh, he reached up to press his hand against the photographs on the wall over his head. The one to the right held his mother in the arms of a man he'd never met. He was broad-shouldered, with a heavy nose and an expressive mouth. His hair was lighter than Usopp's—just as curly though—and his skin was darker. The man's eyes smiled out at the camera, obviously held at arm's length. The other picture was of him and his mom before she got sick. Her smile was bright, and their hair was a combined tangle of crazy filling up the entire background. He booped her nose—just like she used to do to him—just like he did every night. Then he rolled over and flipped off his light.
"Someday… we'll be unstoppable." He whispered into the darker room.
The next day one of the smallest boys in the home jumped him out of a dead sleep, "USOPP! IT SNOWED!"
"Nngh? Snow?" He twisted to pull the weak slat away from the shutter on the window.
At first he couldn't actually look outside, it was too bright, but after blinking the tears away from his eyes, he couldn't have contained the smile if he tried. Everything was white! At least four inches on top of the dingy grey stuff that had already been piled up from the last time it snowed. The picnic table was nearly buried completely under a drift, and one of the rusty swings they used for a jungle gym to get into the solitary tree was frozen to the branch.
He pulled back and looked around; the grin on his face sent the message through the group of them.
"Oh no! No no no! Last time you tried that we all got in trouble!" One of the older boys crossed his arms over his chest.
"Aw, c'mon, Lucci. Pussy-man's gonna want us to shovel the walk anyway. Why not?" One of the others reasoned, tugging a ball cap over his ginger hair.
Lucci flicked the brim, "Cuz I don't wanna be on gruel for Christmas, Kaku!"
"That's sexual harassment."
"You ain't even supposed to be in here, Kalifa!" Lucci jabbed his finger at the blonde girl in the doorway, but all she did was sniff and adjust her glasses.
One of the younger boys waddled up dragging his blanket and tugged on Lucci's shirt. "Hey, what's Christmas like out there?"
Usopp jumped out of bed, already in storyteller mode, and hauled the ball-shaped boy up into his arms in spite of him almost being too heavy for it. "You'd never believe it, Fukuro!"
Somehow the young sniper managed to swing the chubby kid around to bounce on the bottom bunk of the closest set of beds without either falling or appearing out of breath. Behind him Lucci rolled his eyes, but said nothing.
"It's amazing!" Usopp climbed atop a chair and spread his arms wide, "The whole house turns into candy with gumdrops for lights and icing on the walls in green and red and gold and silver. The fireplace has HUGE socks hanging from the top with sparkling gold hooks! And there's a tree inside!"
"Get out!" Fukuro was star-struck, sucking on the zipper of his blanket.
"Really! Strings of glowing sugar lights and balls of candy the size of your head hanging from the branches! Peppermint sticks and popcorn and candied fruits and chocolate and caramel and any other kind of sweet that you can think of! And then Santa Claus—"
"SANTA ISN'T REAL!" One of the other big boys bellowed from the back near their coats and snowboots were kept.
"SHADDUP, PAULIE!" Lucci bellowed back.
The coward's stories about Santa were his favorite part, though the hardnosed pre-teen wouldn't admit it out where anyone could actually hear him say it. Kaku nudged him with a smirk, and he bared his teeth at the other boy. That didn't help his cause though, because Kalifa raised her eyebrow knowingly and a couple of the others all smiled at him until he growled, jerking his head towards Usopp for them to pay attention.
The sniper was hip deep in the tale of a blue-nosed reindeer that had to nurse Rudolph's sore throat so he could guide Santa's sleigh. "And then Dr. Chopper tied his magic cherry blossom petal scarf around Rudolph's neck and the cough went away like that!" He snapped his fingers and the youngest boys gasped, "He bounced out of bed, galloping around the ceiling cuz he felt so much better! He bounded out the window and right up to Santa despite Dr. Chopper yelling at him to take it easy! And Christmas was saved!"
"YEAH!" The cheer rang out from not just the ones who were hearing it for the first time.
"WHAT ARE YOU BRATS DOING YELLING AND CHEERING!?" The door slammed open with a resounding boom that echoed in the following silence.
Usopp dove off the chair, hiding behind Kaku and Kumadori. The rest of the room froze, staring at their guardian with no small amount of fear. His flunkies, the Meowban Brothers, hovered behind the wiry man looking smug and full of themselves. Lucci wanted to claw their eyes out; a sentiment most of the collected foster kids shared about the snitches. Sure as Usopp's eye, if something was happening that Mr. Kuro wasn't supposed to know about, and either Butchie or Siam found out… it wouldn't be ten minutes before they squealed. Not like it did them any good though, Mr. Kuro didn't treat them any better than the rest of them, but they kept doing it anyway.
"There's a foot of snow on my front walk! Get moving! If you're lucky there'll be breakfast still when you're done!" Nobody blinked. "NYOWWWWWWWWW!"
The shout rang in their ears as everybody scrabbled for their coats and boots and scarves. The oldest boys had gloves first, because they would take up the metal shovels. The rest of them grabbed extra pairs of underwear to use as hats, and Fukuro zippered up his blanket to use as an extra wrap around his shoulders. Then they poured out past the adult in spite of having only just woken up less than an hour ago and most of them were still in their pyjamas.
By the time half of the front walk was clear, most of them had numb fingers and the littler ones were huddled in a circle for body warmth.
Lucci, Kaku, Kalifa, Paulie, and the twins, Mozu and Kiwi, were still working at the end of the long sidewalk that connected the group home to the street. There was ice under the snow and the twin girls kept one hand on each side of Paulie's jacket for balance, because all they had for shoes were threadbare sneakers. The burly blond boy was blushing all the way to the ridges of his ears, and shoveling all the harder for it. Unfortunately his swings were also wild, meaning that half the time he was shoveling onto Lucci's section.
"Control your floozies, Paulie!" The dark-haired boy snarled after getting a face full of snow.
The other flailed, "IT'SNOTMYFAULT! LEGGO!"
"AHH!"
Mozu was shaken off and in the process her feet slipped out from under her. She flew into her sister, who screamed in echo of her, and they both crashed into Kaku, who ended up face first into the snow bank next to the fence. The normally unflappable ginger snorted and spat, wiping his eyes, his precious hat soaked. It was a couple of inches away, and he didn't notice when he grabbed it, that it was full of snow.
So, whipping up to put it back on flung the frozen water into Kalifa's back. She inhaled sharply, spinning with a shovel of the stuff to fling at Lucci, but he ducked and it landed on top of Kumadori, who fell over dramatically clutching his chest.
"MOMMA! I'LL JOIN YOU SOON! THE WORLD'S GROWING DARKER!"
"I'LL AVENGE YOU, DORI!" Fukuro cried, leaping off of the porch, his blanket trailing out behind him.
His cannonball into the snow sprayed Blueno and Bonney. The first did nothing, but the second whirled around, fire in her eyes, and a handful of snow to throw at somebody. All she needed was a target.
She wouldn't get it though, because as soon as she aimed for Paulie, a snowball—well-made and fired faster than someone could throw from her left—smacked her in the side of the face.
"USOPP!" She screeched.
The tell-tale yellow-blue-red flash of the Sniper King's scarf ducked around the corner of the building, and just like that the game was on. Everybody forgot about their frozen fingers and toes, scooping up snow to throw at each other. Most of it was Lucci's gang against Usopp and the rest of them, but really it was a free-for-all with friendly fire ensuring that by the time the sun was wending on towards the horizon not a one of them was dry. At some point the Meowban brothers tried to sneak inside to tattle, but the rest of them ganged up on the two to ensure that their game wouldn't be cut short.
The walk never did get fully cleared that day, and half of them went to bed hungry. Usopp remembered clearly the way Mr. Kuro's forehead had turned purple when he was screaming at them later. He'd been sure at the time that the man was going to literally blow a gasket, and with a morbid sense of nostalgia, he could still clearly call up the feeling of wishing it would have actually happened as he fell asleep that night.
But… if anybody ever asked, that was best Christmas he ever had when he was growing up, and he was pretty sure the rest of his roommates would agree with him.
He made the mental note to ask the ones he was still in contact with, and hefted the bag of presents higher in his arms. With a well-practiced eye, he surveyed the front walk of Four Blues City Teen Shelter as he turned to walk along it. Mr. Kuro might even have given a nod for how clear it was. He smiled, stomping his boots on the welcome mat.
"Ah, Mr. Sogerex." The pleasant, grandfatherly-type, man that opened the door had short curly white hair that never failed to stick up in a couple of places giving him the appearance of a sheep.
He stepped back for Usopp to enter, and the taller, younger, man grinned more brightly. "Merry Christmas, Mr. Merry!"
"Merry Christmas to you too!"
The front hall looked nothing like it had when Usopp lived there. Brighter, warmer, more welcoming, but above all, at this time of the year, a truly massive evergreen tree, all decked out in lights and ornaments, stretched from the first floor all the way up to the railing of the third. If he leaned over the banister, he could just touch the five-pointed star on the top. And he knew that because he had been the one to put it up there when he and his fiancé, Kaya, had brought the thing in a couple of weeks ago.
"I saw the boys did an awesome job on the walk. Must be nice now that they're old enough to do it for you, eh?" Usopp set his bag down next to the knewl post, and started unwrapping his scarf.
Mr. Merry laughed, the braying sound did nothing to dissuade from the sheep idea. "They're very helpful, yes. Though they're something of a handful these days. Makes me glad when you and the others come by to tire them out."
"Others?"
"Oh yes, Mr. Lucci, and Ms. Awa came by last week and gave a rousing lesson in basic martial arts. Mr. Lucci's promised to come back once a week to instruct them as long as they behave themselves and his work schedule allows." Mr. Merry followed him to the coat closet.
Just as he was shutting the door three of the boys they were discussing came whipping down the stairs, yelling and shouting loud enough to echo all the way through to the kitchen.
"USOPP! USOPP!"
"Aww, don't put your coat off!"
"Yeah, c'mon, it's still light out!"
"You promised a fight with the great Sogeking!"
In spite of not being at all related, the three of them spoke as though they were triplets, and three distinct yet different smiles pleaded with him to please, please, please take them outside for a snowball fight! They didn't quite beg, and they weren't exactly clasping their hands under their chins, but the twenty-four-year-old storyteller could picture it in his mind even so.
He drew a great breath like he was going to deny them, and all three not-so-subtly leaned in until he acquiesced with a great, "Mmmokay." They were off and running for their coats even before he could call out to them, "Don't forget your… scarves…" He looked at Mr. Merry with a fond wince, "Why do I bother?"
The older man just laughed, "Because you love them."
"HA!" Usopp pulled on his coat and scarf again, making his way for the door. "And they call me a liar! The Great Ca—AHHH!"
The trio bull-rushed him out of the house and it was all he could do to keep ahead of them as they immediately started to fling snow at him the second their boots touched the stuff. He screamed louder and bee-lined for the backyard, shouting boasts about his eight thousand followers and how much trouble the three were going to be in when he caught them. Not once did any of them, including Usopp, stop smiling.