He's Not Dead Yet

Ah, the Christmas chapter. Who doesn't love Christmas? (Well, apart from people of other faiths or beliefs).

Anyways, I don't own Harry Potter or any Monty Python humor.

I May Be an Idiot, But I'm No Fool

When Harry first caught sight of Potter Manor, he almost thought he was hallucinating. It wasn't so much a house or even a mansion as it was a small castle; it had turrets and fortifications and even a moat.

"When I said the Potters are an old family, I wasn't kidding around," Sirius said. "Why else would the Blacks have been content to marry off my great-aunt to your granddad?"

The castle, despite being rather imposing, was not dark and eerie like the stereotypical ones; it was built out of brown stone that lent an earthy quality to the design; the vines of ivy that crept up the walls had varying shades of flowers that bloomed despite the frigid weather. Majestic flags of royal purple and rich scarlet rippled in the wind from atop the tower roofs.

At the approach of the car, a stone bridge rose from the moat to allow them access. The wrought-iron gate in front of the entrance swung open to admit them to a large courtyard.

Sirius and Remus then led Harry to the main door; it looked about as large as the door to the Great Hall at Hogwarts. With a trembling hand, Harry reached for the doorknob and turned.

What opened up before him was a grand foyer; the walls were paneled with fine wood and decorated with family portraits; from the ceiling hung golden chandeliers that let off a warm glow. Suddenly, the stillness of the air was broken by a delighted, high-pitched voice.

"Master Harry Potter is home!"

Harry looked down and saw a very young house-elf. A few moments later, there was a popping noise as several other elves appeared. Harry noticed that the Potter elves wore uniforms that were clearly sown from various scraps of fabric with a copy of the Potter crest attached to the front.

The elves happily introduced themselves. The youngest one, that had greeted him so cheerily before, was named Polly; there were two senior elves named Mitsy and Simmy; and the remaining four elves were Ellis, Wadsworth, Koots, and Shelley. The elves also seemed happy that 'Mister Siri' and 'Mister Remmy' had come back.

It was clear that the portraits of James and Lily Potter had been giving the house-elves instructions regarding fixing up the manor; apparently, the manor had gotten a little run-down since it was closed up, but James and Lily's portraits had passed along orders to start getting the house ready for when Harry came; some parts, however, were still in need of refurbishing and the elves needed direct instructions from 'Master Harry' about what to do.

It seemed the manor was even bigger on the inside than it was on the outside; a person could spend years in the place and still not see everything. The library was at least twice the size of the Hogwarts one (Harry chuckled when he thought of how Hermione would react when she saw it), there was a dining room that looked as though it could seat about fifty or more, a grand ballroom, a minor ballroom, there were countless bedrooms, dozens of sitting rooms and studies, an owlery, about ten portrait galleries, a conservatory, a music room, a studio for the arts, three potions labs, a room for documentation of works (example: if a family member wished to transcribe something like a book, they would go into the room and several Dicta-Quills would take down everything depending on how many copies of the work were needed), a root cellar where one of Harry's ancestors had experimented with herbal wines and tonics, a medieval sanctuary where the Potters had conducted private wedding ceremonies, a card room, a billiard room, a room that had been sealed shut with the instruction that it wouldn't open unless the Potter family died off (which Harry had no intention of permitting), a room dedicated to astronomy, a room for alchemy, a room that had clearly been used as a classroom for Potter children before they went off to Hogwarts, and all this was just in the main part of the castle.

Then there was an entirely different wing of the manor. This wing had clearly belonged to the Potter women, as evidenced by the clearly feminine style of the surroundings and the portraits of Potter ladies. The women in the portraits positively cooed over Harry, except for a few who told him to stand up straight or to fix his hair. Then there was the portrait of his grandmother, Dorea Potter nee Black.

"Is that my grandson?!" she exclaimed with delight. "Is that little Harry?! Turn around, lad, so I can get a good look at you."

Harry also learned that it wasn't just Potter women whose portraits resided in the Ladies' Wing; it seems that Harry's grandmother was very fond of her three cousins (Callidora, Cedrella, and Charis) and had paintings of them in her room. Harry had never really given much thought to how closely he was related to other pure-blood families; he knew that Mr. Weasley's mother had been a Black because of when Sirius showed him the family tree at Grimmauld Place, but he hadn't really noticed that Cedrella's older sister, Callidora, was the great-grandmother of Neville Longbottom; nor, indeed, had it struck Harry that Mr. Weasley and Barty Crouch Sr. were first-cousins because Cedrella's younger sister, Charis, had been Mr. Crouch's mother. What occurred to Harry after his conversation with the portraits of the daughters of the House of Black was that pure-bloods really, really needed to stop inter-marrying all the time.

Harry also learned that Cedrella was the reason why people fear the Weasley matriarchs. It happened that Harry mentioned his slightly strained relationship with the Weasley family.

"I certainly hope Arthur didn't do anything to offend you," Cedrella said. "Merlin knows he was not the brightest of my sons, but he means well."

"Actually, it was his wife and the two youngest," Harry replied.

"Oh," she said with a note of disdain. "I knew that Molly Prewett girl was bad news. She spoiled my granddaughter rotten and stifled the boys with her overbearing attitude."

"Well, it turns out that she arranged an illegal marriage contract between me and her daughter."

"What?! Someone get my portrait to The Burrow! I want to have a few words with that harridan! Please tell me the others aren't so bad."

"Well, Ron was pretty much pretending to be my friend in order to spy on me and try to get a chance in the spotlight."

Cedrella was shaking her head in disappointment.

"I always hoped the boy would grow up. He showed such promise when he was little; he even got his chess-playing skills from me. Maybe something came loose when I once saw little Freddy accidentally drop the boy on his head."

"That explains so much," Harry muttered.

Once the full extent of the crimes committed by Molly, Ginevra, and Ronald was revealed, Cedrella's eyes narrowed. Just the thought of what Cedrella said she wanted to do to the three traitorous Weasleys, mixed with a tone that was a cross between disappointed and homicidal, terrified Harry more than the sound of one of Molly Weasley's howlers. It was plainly clear to Harry which Weasley matron was the real power to be reckoned with.

A few days later, at a rather upscale home in Crawley, there was a knock at the door. Emma Granger, the lady of the house, answered it.

"Dan," she said as she reentered the living room.

"Yes, Emma?" Dan replied.

"There's a man at the door with a moustache."

"Tell him I already got one."

Emma gave her husband a slight thwack over the head.

"Alright, alright, what does he want?"

"He says do we want to buy some wards."

"Wards?"

"Yes."

"What does he mean 'wards'?"

"Wards. You know, force-fields, protective devices, defense shields."

"Oh, wards, I thought you said 'bacon.'"

Mrs. Granger gave her husband another thwack.

"Alright, alright, can't let a man have his joke. Show him in."

After escorting the man into the living room, Emma called Hermione downstairs.

"We are the premier warding company of Great Britain," the salesman began. "We deal in all manner of household protections; from standard Anti-Theft wards to wards that curse intruders to a slow and painful death. We have Anti-Apparition wards which prevent people from simply appearing in your home. We have alarm wards that let off warnings to whomever they are keyed to. We are even developing a new set of wards that will eliminate any marked Death Eaters who try and gain entry."

"Any marked what?" Dan Granger inquired.

"The followers of Voldemort; he's the evil wizard that Harry defeated as a baby," Hermione informed her parents.

"Indeed," the salesman interjected, "Mr. Potter has managed to get our company permission from the DMLE to inspect marked Death Eaters so we can develop wards to keep them out of places. As your family is non-magical with a magical child, you would be prime targets for the Death Eaters should they ever escape from Azkaban. As I mentioned, the wards are still in development and we should have them finished in a month or so. As you are friends of Mr. Potter, you will be the first on the list of recipients of these wards should you so desire."

"I think it's safe to say we will take you up on that," Dan stated.

"The wards your daughter was most interested in were the Anti-Trace wards," the salesman added. "Those wards will allow her to practice magic within this house without getting in trouble with the Ministry."

Dan and Emma shared a delighted look; they would finally be able to see what their daughter had learned from that school.

"I took the liberty of outlining which wards I felt were best," Hermione said as she pulled out a list.

Once the wards-salesman left, Hermione then turned to her parents again.

"Oh, Mum, Dad, I also wanted to let you know that my friend Harry invited us over for Christmas dinner," she said. "Do you think we could?"

"Well, you've told us nothing but good things about this Harry person," Emma replied. She was so happy that her daughter had finally made friends and, from the look on Hermione's face, it seemed like this 'Harry' was something a little bit more. "What do you think, Dan?"

"Where is this place?" Dan said.

"Well, Harry didn't give me the location," said Hermione. "But he sent me this." She pulled out a rather nice-looking pocket watch. "He says it's a portkey and it will take us straight to Potter Manor at 5:00pm on Christmas Day."

Dan and Emma were startled by the mention of 'manor' but dismissed it.

"Well, I don't see anything wrong with spending time with your friends for Christmas," said Dan. It will also get us out of going to my sister's Christmas party, thank God.

Hermione smiled and hugged her dad.

Harry was having the time of his life. He was currently in the main sitting room of his family's ancestral manor/castle and talking with his godfather, adopted uncle, and his parents' portraits (which had been set above the grand fireplace). They had made big plans for this holiday. Christmas would see a wonderful evening with friends and family (Sirius had even invited the Tonks family, whom he'd reinstated into the Black family after kicking out Bellatrix; the Malfoys were on a probation and Sirius had already drawn up his will with a clause that if he should suffer an untimely fate, all debts owed to the Blacks by the Malfoys must be paid and the marriage between Lucius and Narcissa annulled).

The goblins had sent word to Harry that they were fully investigating the Horcrux matter and that one of their top Curse-Breakers would be called in. As for the matter of Dumbledore…well, the goblins told Harry that he would soon be getting a personal visit from certain Gringotts representatives.

Sirius had suggested that Harry throw a New Year's/Homecoming ball. Harry had winced at the idea as he had very unsatisfactory memories of the last time he'd been to a ball; but Sirius had insisted it would be a good way to make connections and build up alliances.

On Christmas Eve, Sirius took Harry over to the nearby parish, St. Loony Up-the-Cream-Bun-and-Jam, for the midnight service and the Lessons and Carols. Remus had to stay behind because it was full-moon; luckily, Sirius was fairly good at potions and was able to get Remus his Wolfsbane.

It was a beautiful Christmas morning. Sunlight reflected off the snow and ice, creating an effect of millions of glittering diamonds. It was the first time Harry had ever had Christmas at home with real family. The elves had decorated the hallways with garlands and wreaths and even the portraits seemed to be in a festive mood; Harry noticed that a painting of a group of rather rowdy Potter men in Quidditch uniforms showed its subjects singing and drinking merrily.

Harry was, quite understandably, pleased when he saw that Sirius' gift to him was a Firebolt; it actually meant a great deal more to him that his godfather could give it to him in person this time.

Harry's Christmas wasn't the only good one. Up and down the country, several people were receiving letters that certainly made their holidays. Each of these letters came from Gringotts Bank, informing the recipients that they now had sizeable bank accounts thanks to Harry Potter's distribution of the money earned from the basilisk carcass to those who were affected by the creature. Needless to say, there was much rejoicing.

One family, however, saw the letter they received in a different way; or, at least, certain members did.

Arthur, the twins, and Percy all saw the large amount of money as a blessing that would alleviate the family's hard times. Molly and Ginny, on the other hand, saw the money as evidence that Harry had singled out their family as one to which he wanted to belong; specifically, that he would be easily convinced into marrying Ginny; after all, what boy gives up that much money to a girl unless he has a romantic interest in her? Ron, however, saw the letter as an act of betrayal; after all, he had gone down there with Harry; where was his enormous bank account? Ron had a few choice words to give to Harry the next time he saw him.

Molly spent the next few days in an unassailably cheerful mood; she didn't even reprimand the twins when they were testing out some prank items (surely Hell must have frozen over!). Unbeknownst to anyone else, the Weasley mother was quietly going over in her head all the details for when Harry and Ginny would get married.

Ginny felt like all her dreams were coming true. Harry, her Harry, had just given her a fortune. Sure, the letter said that it was just a reimbursement for the suffering she was put through last year; but Ginny knew better. She just knew that it was Harry's subtle way of saying he wanted to take care of her; which, in Ginny's head, translated into meaning he wanted to marry her and live happily ever after.

It also happened that the twins had received a personal gift from Harry. The brightly-wrapped box that had arrived at their bedroom window contained an assortment of Muggle pranks (meaning they had no magical signature that could be traced) and a book about how to open your own business.

"How do you think he knew, Gred?"

"I don't know, Forge. Maybe being the son of a Marauder gives you the Sight?"

"Well, whatever it is, our dear Harrikins is deserving of our gratitude."

"True, my uglier twin. This book and these pranks will be perfect for when we start working on our shop."

"Weasley's Wizard Wheezes will be the greatest prank franchise ever."

The twins weren't the only ones to receive a personal gift from Harry, though. Arthur had been surprised to see a rather large package waiting for him on Christmas morning. Once he had unwrapped it, he found, to his utter delight, that is was a portrait of his dearly-departed mother whom he missed terribly. In the note Harry had sent with the gift it explained how he had found the original portrait at Potter Manor and had had a copy made as the portrait-Cedrella Weasley seemed most eager to have a way to access The Burrow. Finally, Arthur had a way to speak to his beloved mother again; even if it wasn't really her, it was the closest thing he could get. Arthur couldn't understand why Molly disliked the portrait, and he just tuned her out when she complained that Cedrella glared at her when Arthur wasn't looking.

Christmas dinner was a thoroughly enjoyable affair at Potter Manor. The Tonks family, the Grangers, the Lovegoods, Professor Babbling, and Neville Longbottom and his grandmother were all invited. Harry had considered including more guests, but felt that he should try to keep this rather informal Christmas dinner to just the people he was closest with.

Madam Longbottom was quite pleased to meet Harry, especially since he and Neville had reconfirmed the Potter-Longbottom Alliance.

Mr. and Mrs. Granger were simply awed at the fact that their little girl was best friends with a Lord (well, soon-to-be Lord, at any rate).

While the adults all moved to a separate living room for drinks, the four Hogwarts students were hanging out. Harry had given Hermione a copy of one of the books he had found on ritual magic in the family library and a golden pendant in the shape of her initials with her birthstone set into it; he had given Luna a fine silver bracelet with charms on it shaped like a rabbit (her favorite animal and Patronus), an eagle, a dirigible plum, and a butterbeer cap (to keep away the nargles) and a box of her favorite candies, Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans; and he gave Neville a cutting of an extremely rare plant known as a "Legendary Walking Tree of Dahomey" that he had found in the Potter greenhouse and a book on Floraloqus (the ability to talk to plants).

"I have something I'd like to talk to you all about," Harry announced after the gifts were exchanged.

His three companions all turned to him.

"I've been meaning to discuss this for some time," he continued. "I've been hoping to make some ventures and I need some input from trustworthy people. As you three are the people I trust the most, I wanted your opinions before I include anyone else in this discussion."

His three friends smiled encouragingly.

"Go on, Harry," said Neville. "We're all with you."

"Thanks, Neville. I have discovered that I am the owner of quite a number of business venues, including Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade."

Hermione and Neville exchanged a surprised look, while Luna just seemed impassive.

"I am sure you have all noticed that aside from Honeydukes, Zonko's, and a few small shops, there's not a lot to interest one in Hogsmeade once you've been there a few times. I was thinking we could bring in more businesses or recreational sites."

"Oh, Harry, that's a great idea," said Hermione.

"And there will be more jobs available," said Luna dreamily. "Not many people notice, but there aren't many jobs in the magical world compared to the Muggle one. And even then, many people won't hire someone if they're Muggle-born."

Hermione looked aghast.

"What do you mean, Luna?"

"Oh, it's part of a pure-blood supremacist agenda to keep Muggle-borns from staying in the magical community. Daddy thinks that it's all part of a conspiracy involving the Ministry, the infamous Piranha Brothers, Luigi Vercotti, Eggs Diamond and his Chicken Gang, and the Judean People's Front."

There was a moment of silence before Harry continued.

"Point taken, Luna," he said. "I've also been looking into making a deal with some Japanese technomancers and some Muggle technology corporation called 'Apple.' I was thinking of opening a new industry that will bring magically enhanced technology into the wizarding world. After all, the only real Muggle technology that witches and wizards have is the Wizarding Wireless, and that operates directly out of Hogsmeade." Here, he turned to Hermione. "That book I gave you about ritual magic is actually going to be very useful soon, Hermione. You see, I recently came across some very interesting gemstones." He thought back to the jewels he had found in the Room of Requirements. "When I brought them in to Gringotts, the goblins informed me that they are rare Power Gems that can be used in various rituals that may help us to achieve the magical technology goal."

"Wow, Harry," said Hermione, "You really seem to have given all this a great deal of thought."

"What can I say? I'm a Potter. Anything else before the meeting adjourns?"

"I do," said Neville.

"The Floor recognizes Neville Francis Longbottom."

Neville grinned amusedly at Harry.

"What we need is a sort of Board Group," he said. "People from each of the different Houses, social circles, and backgrounds to help us know just how to market this to customers, because there will always be some who will be opposed to advancement and some who will wholeheartedly embrace change. The Board will help us work out our plans and tell us the important details of just how to sell our ideas."

"Excellent point, Neville. Any other business?"

"I have something to say," Luna spoke up.

"Go ahead, Luna."

"Harry, when are you going to claim your Lordships and tell people that you are the Heir of the Founders?"

Everyone stared at her in shock.

"Luna, how did you know that?" Harry asked.

"Was I not supposed to know?"

"Well, I never exactly told you."

"Oh, you didn't have to. Just like you didn't have to tell me you are here from the future and on a mission from the Ministry of Death."

The stares widened.

"Luna, how do you know about the Ministry of Death?"

"Doesn't everyone?"

The three others shook their heads.

"Oh, I met the chaps from the Ministry of Death," she said. "They're very funny people. When my mum's experimental spell backfired, some fellow named Mr. Leslie Ames showed up and said that it was her time to go. He was very polite about it and let me say goodbye to her. He was a little odd, though. At first he told us that our house had been chosen as the venue for the third-test against the West Indies."

Harry gave a quick shake of his head to snap himself back to the present.

"But, how exactly did you know that stuff about me?"

"Oh, I've always been able to see things about people," she explained. "That's why the other Ravenclaws don't like me very much. They seem to find it unnerving that I know so many things about them, though I can't imagine why."

"Back to the other subject," said Hermione. "Harry, what is this about you being from the future?"

Harry sighed.

"I knew I would have to talk about this with you sooner or later," he replied.

One explanation later…

"So, I led a group of students in a rebellion against a couple of maniacal Death Eaters?" asked Neville.

"Yep. I also personally requested that you destroy one of Voldemort's Horcruxes," Harry stated. "I knew that if there was anyone I could trust with something like that, it would be you, Neville."

Neville felt a surge of confidence at those words.

"Did I really end up with Ron?" Hermione asked with a note of disgust.

"Well, yes," Harry replied.

"How could I have done something so ridiculous? He and I argue all the time, he constantly bullies and insults me, he talks bad about me for loving to learn and then has the nerve to ask me to do his homework for him…Really, what could have been going on in my head?"

"I think he may have doused you with love potions like Ginny did to me."

Hermione looked horrified.

"That little monster."

Luna tilted her head to the side. Who was Hermione calling a monster, Ron or Ginny? She then shrugged and figured it must be both.

"And it only got worse from there," Harry continued.

He then explained what the MoD had shown him about the future. Hermione looked as though she would be ill, Neville looked furious, and even Luna had an expression of discomfit.

"That's why I came back," Harry concluded. "So many people had suffered and died because of me. Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Fred, Dobby…" He trailed off; then he looked thoughtful. He wondered where Dobby was right now.

There was a sudden CRACK!

"I is here, Master Harry Potter sir!" Dobby exclaimed.

"Dobby!" Harry exclaimed. "Wha-How?"

"Dobby is coming when Master Harry Potter sir is wanting to see him. He always comes when Master calls."

"Master?"

Dobby looked slightly sheepish.

"When you is helping Dobby become free of his old masters, Dobby is bonding to you. Dobby hopes that Master Harry Potter sir is not angry."

"No, Dobby, it's all right."

Hermione looked like she was about to say something, but Harry quickly cut off the presumed lecture on Elf Rights.

"Hermione, I looked into it," he explained. "House-elves need to be bonded to a magical family so that they can control their magic. If an elf doesn't bond, it causes them to lose control or even make their health gradually degenerate until they die. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

Dobby looked up at Harry Potter with a glowing pride. Hermione looked taken-aback; Harry's reaction had made her suspect that her future self must have gone off about 'slavery' of house-elves in Harry's old timeline. Neville was just looking confused while Luna seemed to be humming placidly as if what had just happened was no less normal a conversation than discussing the weather.

"Dobby," Harry continued, "It would be a great privilege if you would join the Potter family house-elves."

Dobby burst into happy tears.

"Every elf's dream is to be working for the Potter family," he wailed. "The Potters is the oldest and kindest of all magical families, sir."

Harry blinked in surprise. Was he really that admired by house-elves? Right, stupid question. Harry called for Mitsy and Simmy and informed them that Dobby was now a house-elf to the Potter family; when Harry mentioned that Dobby had saved his life, the two elder elves gladly welcomed the newest addition to the household. After Mitsy and Simmy left with Dobby, to introduce him to the other elves and get him used to Potter Manor, Harry returned to his conversation with his friends.

"Well," Harry said after a prolonged silence, "Anyway. Too many people died for me last time, and I am not going to let that happen again. And what I saw of the future was too awful to permit to happen."

"It certainly was," said Luna. "Imagine, naming your child 'Albus Severus Potter.' I think you must have gotten a case of wrackspurts from Ginevra."

Harry winced. That had been something that had annoyed him about what he had seen of his future-self. Really? Albus Severus Potter? He must have been under the influence of something when he named his child that.

The conversation went on for a while, with Harry mentioning the New Year's/Homecoming ball he was throwing. All too soon, it seemed, the adults came in to say it was time to go. As Harry helped her with her jacket, Hermione looked up to notice that she and Harry were standing underneath mistletoe.

"Um, Harry," she said. "Look up."

Harry glanced up to see the plant that had caused so much mischief for him in the past.

"Mistletoe," he replied.

Hermione smirked.

"You do know what tradition says about standing under mistletoe, right, Harry?"

Harry rubbed the back of his neck and shifted awkwardly until Hermione rolled her eyes and decided to take pity on him. She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him forward to capture her lips. Harry's mind went blank, as it had done the past handful of times he'd been kissed; however, this kiss was much better than either the one he got from Cho or the few he'd gotten from Ginny. Hermione's kiss was warm and soft; not possessive like Ginny or sloppy like Cho. As she pulled away, Harry stared at her, his mind still disengaged.

Suddenly, they were interrupted.

"Hm, it seems there are quite a few nargles in that mistletoe," said Luna.

Hermione wished Harry goodnight and walked off to where her parents were waiting with the portkey. Harry was still standing there watching her retreating form when Sirius put a godfatherly hand on his shoulder.

"She really is the brightest witch of her age," he said.

"Are our agents ready to go?" asked Director Ragnok.

"They are, sir," replied his assistant.

"Good." His face broke into a shark-like grin. "It is time for our Christmas tradition."

It is a little-known fact that goblins have a tradition, every Christmas, involving the exacting of vengeance against someone who has wronged the bank or one of their valuable clients or even just someone they hated.

Albus Dumbledore was sitting in his office, thinking. How had things gotten so out of hand lately? One minute he was on top of the world with everything going according to his plans, and the next…How had he lost so much control over his pawn – er, over Harry? Dumbledore began to think harder. The boy had been spending too much time with Miss Granger and students from other Houses; especially Slytherins. Slytherins were bound to give Harry dangerous ideas. Amelia Bones had also been sending Dumbledore frequent warnings (each containing not-so-subtle threats) that he'd better watch his step, because she'd have his arse in Azkaban at the first opportunity.

Dumbledore was just reaching for a sherbet lemon when the door to his office burst open. There, in the doorway, were three goblins in bright, red uniforms; each one was grinning broadly.

Blimey, Dumbledore thought, I really hadn't expected the Goblin Inquisition!

Dolores Umbridge was currently sitting at her desk, no Christmas cheer in her heart. Ever since that damnable trial of Sirius Black, Amelia Bones had been doing a large number of investigations into respectable pure-bloods like herself. Needless to say, Dolores was not a happy witch. At the moment, she was processing files involving various cases that Cornelius would be trying in the near future.

"Hmm, Muggle-born wizard Gavin Entwhistle insisting upon a re-trial of his case involving his attack upon pure-blood wizard Jarvis Avery. He insists that Avery had attempted to use the Cruciatus Curse on him for his own amusement and that Enwhistle was merely acting in self-defense," she read. A nasty smile broke over the toad-woman's face. "Denied. I think a transfer from the Ministry holding-cell to Azkaban is just what this Mudblood needs to clean up his act."

Just as she was about to stamp the paper with a denial, the door to her office opened.

"Yes? Hello? I say, what are you…? No. No! AHHHHHH!"

The ballroom had been ornamented with holly and ivy; a few random bunches of mistletoe were set to trap an unwary couple; the gardens were decorated with fairy-lights. A large Christmas tree stood proudly in the center of the enormous dance floor, while several smaller ones stood off to the side. Musical instruments were enchanted to play Christmas carols at a tempo that was good for dancing. Harry thanked his lucky stars that his ancestors had thought to put an anti-slipping spell on the polished marble dance floor. From the ceiling came an enchanted snowfall.

If you walked into the grand ballroom at Potter Manor that New Year's Eve, you would think that half the wizarding world was in there. Harry had decided that something this formal meant that he needed to invite a number of people he hardly knew but would be good to be on decent terms with. For example, Harry had never thought he would ever invite Cornelius Fudge anywhere near him after what he did in the last timeline; however, if Harry hoped to get any progress made in the magical community, he needed connections.

"Minister," Harry greeted warmly, "Nice to see you again."

"Ah, hello, Harry," the Minister replied.

"I heard about the recent tragedy at the Ministry. I wish to offer my condolences."

"Ah, yes, it was so sudden. I never would've thought in my wildest imagination that my Senior Undersecretary would suffer so terrible a fate as being eaten by a giant blancmange."

A report had come out in The Quibbler (which was quickly becoming much more popular than The Prophet) on Christmas Eve that Senior Undersecretary, Madam Umbridge, had been discovered to have been eaten by a killer blancmange from the planet Skyron in the galaxy of Andromeda. While The Quibbler maintained that it was, indeed, a genuine blancmange, The Prophet insisted that it was a wanted criminal named Riley, a notorious blancmange impersonator and cannibal, who was simply using the extra-terrestrial being excuse in order to allay suspicion.

Harry had to laugh when he first read the news of the Toad's death. It served the evil old bitch right.

Harry spent a very enjoyable evening getting to know people who would be highly important allies for when he began to make reforms. He also got to dance with a large number of very attractive young ladies (thanking his lucky stars again that Sirius knew how to dance and had taught him); although, most of those girls looked at him hungrily, as though they were ravenous lions and he were a piece of particularly enticing meat. However, there were a few girls other than Hermione and Luna who he actually enjoyed speaking and/or dancing with.

Harry had, of course, also invited his friends; though, the only Weasleys he invited were the twins and Percy because of his promise to introduce them to the Prewetts. Josiah commented that Fred and George were just like their uncles, which led to questions about what Gideon and Fabian were like as Mrs. Weasley never brought them up if she could avoid it (she claimed the subject was much too painful). Josiah also found himself in a conversation about Law and Finances with Percy; Percy walked away from that discussion with a smile that indicated he'd found his new role-model.

In addition to very important people and friends, Harry also invited many of his fellow students (mostly the ones from Defense Club) and professors (including his hired instructors). Harry had even invited Colin Creevey; Colin was, at Harry's suggestion, taking photographs of the event that were likely to end up in the next edition of The Quibbler (Colin had, after the recovery of the basilisk, begun to sell his photos of goings-on at Hogwarts to Mr. Lovegood, who gave the boy full accreditation when the articles were published).

Mr. Preston and Mr. Stearns seemed to be enjoying themselves; Preston had brought along his girlfriend from back home (she was a tall, athletic-looking black woman with a bright smile and a 'don't mess with me' attitude) and Stearns was chatting with Lord Acton's grandsons about the various duels they had participated in; Harry's Magical Customs tutor, Dame Irene Stoat, had somehow ended up dancing with Professor Flitwick. The only two professors who were absent were Snape and Dumbledore; and yet, no one seemed to notice; or, at least, didn't seem to care.

Omake:

Bill Weasley was standing in a trench, overseeing some workers unearthing yet another tomb. He'd only had a few days off for Christmas, but he was happy to be out working as he loved his job.

That was when a familiar voice called out.

"Alright, Weasley, get up out of that trench."

Bill turned and saw the figure of one of his old rivals. He grinned.

"Just remember," said Bill. "I'm six-foot-five and I eat punks like you for breakfast."

"That doesn't bother me. Kastner!"

A bearded man in a grey suit came forward.

"Here, sir," Kastner said.

"Up."

Kastner jumped up to sit on the man's shoulders.

"Eleven-foot-three?" gasped Bill.

"I'm so tall!" Kastner exclaimed giddily. "I'm so tall!"

Bill pulled off his pith-helmet and narrowed his eyes.

"Danielle," Bill called over to a young woman who then promptly jumped onto his shoulders.

"Eleven-foot-six?" Bill's nemesis cried. "Damn you. Abdul!" They were joined by one of the native workers.

"Fifteen-foot-four?" said Bill. "Mustafa!"

"Nineteen-foot-three! Damn you!"

What then followed was a fight between the two, human pillars that led to much chaos at the dig-site. Bill was in the process of decking his rival when he was interrupted.

"Mr. Weasley," said the senior official. "There is a letter to you from Gringotts."

Bill excused himself from the scuffle to read the letter. Bill's eyes widened when he saw that it was sent straight from the Director. It seems Bill would be returning to Britain.

Author's Note: This scene at the end was based on the Monty Python skit 'Archaeology Today.'

The scene with Dobby was added in because I felt that I needed to get that sorted out; and I thought, hey, why not have Dobby join Harry Potter at Christmas?!

Hoped you all like the chapter. Please review, but no flames.