Dovahkiin's effect
Chapter 18: The Wandering Lover
Malen dreamt of the same shore line that Tali and him were in last night. The shore was calm and gentle. It was a warm night and the sky was filled with stars that brighten the ocean surface like a blanket of lights.
Tali was not next to Malen this time, but he could sense someone approaching him from the left side of the shore line. When the person was close enough to see, Malen saw that it was Tali, but something was a bit off in the way that she walked: it carried great desire and a bit of loneliness in it.
The person that looked exactly like Tali sat down next to Malen and pressed her head against Malen's chest and listened to his heart beating. She didn't say a word, but said more than enough in her body language and movement to suggest that she needed closure.
While Malen normally would not have a problem with her being close to him, he felt like something was off and needed to confirm or discard his doubts. Malen lifted her head and removed the visor over her face and stared into her eyes.
Out of the short time that Malen has been with Tali, he could read her expressions almost instantly and knew the times when she felt happy, alone, scared, or sad. When Malen looked into Tali's eyes, he noticed that they did not stair at them as Tali's did. Her eyes showed more of a need of closure than a want for it and there was a different kind of pain behind them. The differences became clearer as he stared at her until he knew for certain that she was not Tali.
Malen:" You are not Tali…. Who are you?" He said as he stood up and looked at her accusingly.
The woman who impersonated Tali knew that the ruse was up and she transformed into the form she has usually taken. She changed into Daedric armor that glowed blue, her face changed to blue as well as her eyes, her hair changed from black to white, 2 horns grew on her head as she took on a more demonic look that didn't hinder her beauty.
?:" I am sorry for deceiving you brother, but I couldn't just watch from afar anymore."
Malen immediately knew who the "woman" was when she transformed and called him "brother".
Malen:" Vaermina!? What are you doing here? Why did you impersonate Tali?"
Vaermina:" I have been here for a long time Malen, ever since you first slept I have been here. I am the lord of dreams and nightmares and while most have suffered through nightmares, I only gave you the most pleasant dreams. Your life had been tragic since the beginning and I couldn't hurt or scare you anymore than you already are even if I wanted to."
Malen:" You still have not answered why you impersonated Tali."
Vaermina:" Do you recall the bet that I made with Sheogorath many decades ago?"
Malen:" I remember the story and have memories from my past self about that "bet". Can you explain why you are bringing that up?"
Vaermina:" The mortal that me and Sheogorath that was involved in the bet, the artist named Darius Shano, I….. loved him once." She said in a despaired voice.
Malen thinks this over for a while and puts 2 and 2 together while remembering the ending on her part in the 16 accounts of madness.
Malen:" You never forgot the lesson you learned from Sheogorath because you loved the man that was flung into madness for all eternity because of the bet you made. "Without madness there can be no dreams"."
Vaermina nods her head slowly as her eyes slowly began to tear up. Malen sits back down and places his left arm around Vaermina and looks at her compassionately.
Malen:" I didn't know you felt that way for him, but it would explain a bit, but you still haven't answered my question, dear sister."
Vaermina:" I impersonated her because I saw in your heart that you loved her. She gave you the warmth that your soul has been seeking for ever since you were born. I saw something in you that I had thought lost to me when I let my pride get the better of me, but I wanted to know or remember that feeling for myself. When I saw the way that she looked at you after you protected her and her father, I….. couldn't just watch anymore, so I drew closer to you until I am in the current place that I am in. I impersonated Tali because I wanted you to show me the love that you have for her and to know what it's like to love again."
Malen:" That explains why you impersonated her, but why have you watched me for so long?"
Vaermina:" In you I saw the same desire for closure that I felt, and with your tragic life I knew that I had to help make it better in some way."
Malen understood what she meant by that and stood up. Malen held out his hand and lifted Vaermina up and held her close to him.
Malen:" I am afraid that I can't give you the same love that I have for Tali, for it is still growing and you are not her, but I can give you the gratitude that I have for you for what you have done for me." He said warmly to her.
Malen held her in his arms and rubbed the right side of his face on her left. Vaermina could feel the compassion that Malen was giving her and while this was better than she was expecting, it was not what she truly wanted.
Vaermina:" Thank you brother. I know that you were not always my brother and that I hated the being you once were, but that does not mean that I hate you now. I… must be going now. Good bye…. brother." She said as she faded away.
Malen was left alone in his dream and he just sat at the shore line and looked at the scenery.
Tali had not been dreaming at all until a person that she never met or knew about entered her mind. Unlike in Malen's dream, she did not disguise herself at all as she approached Tali.
The first thing that Tali sees as she begins to dream is a white void that seems to go on forever in all directions. Tali tried looking around for anything that was there and stopped suddenly when she saw a blue skinned woman with horns wearing armor just a few feet behind her.
Tali:" Keelah! You scared me! Who are you? I don't think that I'm dreaming you up because I never met someone like you and have not encountered anything resembling you."
Vaermina:" True that I am actually here in your mind, but you have encountered someone like me before and are still "encountering" him now. Tell me Tali Zorah, do you know what I am?"
Tali easily determines that she is implying about Malen when she said "still encountering" and applying the fact that she looks nothing like an argonian leads her to one conclusion.
Tali:" You're a… Daedric Lord aren't you?" she says, not sure if she was right or not.
Vaermina chuckles lightly at this and gives a small clap of applause to her.
Vaermina:" Your intuition is right on the money Tali. I am a Daedric Lord of Oblivion. Can you tell me what a Daedric Lord is?" She asks out of curiosity.
Tali recalls what Malen showed her in Apocrypha and what impossible feats he accomplished thus far and a simple 3 letter word came to mind and it was the best answer she had.
Tali:" A Daedric Lord, You and Malen, are gods aren't they?"
Vaermina:" Correct, but it's more accurate to say that we are "original spirits". I imagine that Malen told you what he was the Daedric Lord of?"
Tali:" He did. He said that he was the Daedric Lord of knowledge and fate."
Vaermina:" Each Daedric Lord presides over their realm(s) of oblivion and can travel throughout Oblivion in an instant. My realm of Oblivion is called Quagmire and is the easiest realm for mortals to access."
Tali:" Just how easy are we talking about?" She asks out of curiosity.
Vaermina:" You're in Quagmire as we speak."
It didn't take long at all for Tali to figure out what that implies.
Tali:"So…. You are the Lord of dreams?"
Vaermina:" Dreams, Nightmares, and ill omens. I wanted to see how you would react to that and it seems you are rather calm and receiving about it, largely due to Malen no doubt."
Tali nodded her head and decided to ask Vaermina a couple of questions of her own.
Tali:" What is your name if you don't mind me asking?"
Vaermina:" I am Vaermina."
Tali:" Ok then Vaermina. Why are you here?"
Vaermina's composed domineer turned to one of depression and loneliness.
Vaermina:" I came here to ask you for a favor of sorts Tali."
Tali:" Wait… What favor?!" She said in obvious confusion.
Vaermina:" I once thought I knew what love was in my heart, or at least was learning it as I became more infatuated with an artist, but my pride as a Daedric Lord led him into eternal madness and beyond my reach. I never forgot the lesson I learned that day that he became a servant of Sheogorath. For decades and perhaps centuries I have been searching for closure; to feed a hunger in my very spirit that grew over time. I want to know what love is again Tali. And I am asking for your help to understand."
Tali is blushing a deep red at this and shakes her head from side to side trying to pry all the dirty thoughts out of her head as she was going to refuse Vaermina's plea, but Vaermina didn't stop there.
Vaermina:" I know that you can't show me the kind of love that you have for Malen, and that is not what I am asking, but that is what I am searching for. I am not asking for you to be in-love with me or anything at all like that. I am asking is a glimpse into the heart of what love is. I know that we have just met and that I am asking a lot out of you already, but I can't just watch from a far anymore."
Vaermina sees in Tali's eyes that she is confused and can't make a decision.
Vaermina:" Perhaps a parable would help explain my meaning. Love is like water that can be given freely to all things as it spreads as far as it can to reach the mouths of those who thirst and I have almost but forgotten what it feels like to be even a little refreshed Tali."
Tali begins to see the kind of feelings and emotions that Vaermina must be going through. She has felt alone for a very long time and desires the comfort of someone to hold close to her, or be held and the warmth of a loving heart. It mirrored Malen's heart in a way. While she began to understand Vaermina a bit better now, she still felt indecisive about what she was going to do. Vaermina sees that Tali still is having trouble figuring out what to do.
Vaermina:" Would it help to say that during Malen's life that I gave him the only peace he has ever had for most of his life? That I filled his nights in that lonely shack with dreams beyond imagining. That I gave him a sense of hope for the days ahead and helped him from drowning in the pits of his hunger and sorrow. That I helped form the man that you so dearly love?"
Tali remembered the conversation that Malen had with her about the pleasant dreams he had for 20 years as he lived alone in that old abandoned shack. Malen told her that he felt like someone was watching from afar. Tali realized that must have been her watching over Malen during those dreadful years of his life. Tali stared at Vaermina as she tried to read her facial expressions to discern whether or not she was being truthful. The unblinking gaze, the pain, and longing in her eyes told Tali that everything she said was the truth and could not be anything less than true.
Quarians are raised in a society where it is vital to be able to read others and help sooth whatever sadness weighed on their hearts and Tali exemplifies this aspect of Quarian society. Tali takes a deep breath as she composes herself into the appropriate state of mind and emotion for what she was going to do.
She envisions the happiness that Malen felt in his dreams that he had for twenty years and how it brought him some hope and peace that he never had before. She envisions the hardships that Malen had endured over his life and that Vaermina helped protect him and helped him grow into the man that she loved so very much. With this mindset, Tali approached Vaermina and stood in front of her.
Tali places her left hand on the left side of Vaermina's face as she looked into her eyes and never blinked once. Tali slowly closes her eyes as she leans her face forward and kisses Vaermina on the lips. Tali mentally controls the feeling of her heart beating as she refreshes her mindset as to why she is doing this. Tali kisses Vaermina passionately, but no tongue, as she focuses on the kind of love that she was willing to offer to Vaermina in thanks for what she has done for her love.
Vaermina was not focusing on the expression of the love that Tali was showing her, but how the expression was reflected from her heart and soul and this is what she saw Tali's soul saying to her through her kiss.
Tali:" Without you then I would not be in love on this day. Without you my father would still be dead and many of my quarian friends would be dead as well. I can't thank you enough for what you have done for Malen in his time of great turmoil and I hope that I can help you find the love that you so desperately seek. I know that I can't be your love since my heart is with someone else, but maybe we can be the best of friends. Thank you so very much Vaermina."
The kiss had ended after a while as Tali slowly opened her eyes back up and stood a few steps back from Vaermina.
Tali:" I know that was not what you truly wanted, but I hope it helps at least give you hope Vaermina."
Vaermina actually shed a single tear as she looked at Tali.
Vaermina:" It may not have been what I truly wanted Tali, but you have given me more than enough. Thank you Tali Zorah and rest well tonight." She said as she faded way.
Tali rests well as she fades back into a dreamless sleep. Vaermina appears in the physical world next to the bed where Tali was sleeping. Vaermina kisses Tali tenderly on the forehead.
Vaermina:" Thank you for what you have shown me. To think an entire race could be like you, but are suffering still to this day. I will stay here and help as best as I can for you, Malen, and this galaxy." She says in a soft whisper.
She then looks up towards Malen.
Vaermina:" And thank you brother for understanding my pain and how I've been there for you. I will care for you as I always have."
She then straightens up and heads towards the elevator.
Vaermina:" I will ask the captain of this vessel if I can help in the cause that both of you are here for, but for now rest well." She whispered as she looked back towards the bed.
Author's Notes: I hope you guys like that surprise! Another Daedric Lord is on the Normandy! There is something that I do need help figuring out though and I would like your input on it. Who do you think that Vaermina should develop a love interest with? Someone on the Normandy? Someone on the Citadel? Someone from a home world? Or a random OC? Let me know about your ideas in the reviews and I will pick either the most popular or most interesting answer from among them. The next chapter will be much longer and will entail more of the plot beginning developed. The next chapter will be called "The Patron God of Geth and Quarians."