Heh heh, I actually wrote this chapter right after the previous one, but wanted to wait before I uploaded it, but it seems like I can't. :)

So enjoy chapter twenty seven!

Clarissa: You forgot something.

Me: Huh? What did I forget?

Clarissa: You don't own Kuroshitsuji.

Me: Oh! That's right. I don't! But I do own my OC.

XxX

Chapter 27

'Sometimes I believe it already does,' Ciel said.

Then he laughed a laugh that didn't sound happy at all, making me shoot up from the couch, flinching as my body protested. 'What?' I asked, clearly missing something.

'You're saying such clever words,' Ciel said, shaking his head, 'but you don't get it at all.'

I was actually quite sure that I did. Now it appears I did not. 'But—'

Ciel held up a hand to keep me from speaking. 'Even if the darkness does control me, then it does because I allow it to do so. I'm not a victim from my own hatred. I know the path I've chosen. And even though I was still a child when I decided to give up my soul, I still stand behind all my choices.' He laughed again. 'As if I'd let anyone or anything control me without the intention to do so!' Then his smile faded and he looked at me dead serious. 'The light didn't save me. God sure didn't. My hatred saved me. I saved me.'

I wanted to cry. 'You didn't save yourself. You just postponed your execution. '

Ciel shook his head again, this time a lot slower. 'You still don't get it, do you?'

'What do I not get?!' I asked, suddenly angry. It wasn't like I was trying to be dumb.

'Being humiliated and brutally murdered is completely different than being killed on my own terms.' He strangled his hands and smiled a small, arrogant smile. 'Wouldn't you agree?'

I opened my mouth. Closed it again. I wasn't sure what to say. Because I knew he was right. I thought Ciel was a victim, someone that needed saving. But Ciel didn't regret anything. He had accepted the consequences long ago. He wasn't a victim, he was a tragedy. 'What the hell did they do to you?' I asked, my voice only a whisper.

Ciel gave me a confused look.

'I don't think your parents' death could drive you to such hatred and despair,' I explained. 'There's more, isn't there? They did something unforgivable to you.' I knew my face looked sad when I asked: 'What did they do to you?'

Ciel looked away, all expressions on his face gone as he was clearly trying to push something away. 'I cannot tell you.'

Well, maybe he should. Talking usually helped. 'But that is—'

He looked at me again, a mask with trauma behind it. 'I cannot tell you, Clarissa!'

I fell back on the couch, felt the tears before I noticed I was crying.

Ciel sighed annoyed. 'And why are you crying now?'

'Whoever did it to you and whatever they did, their deaths aren't worth your soul.' I shook my head slowly.

'Clarissa,' Ciel said, sounding stern for some reason. 'I just told you that I didn't regret anything, didn't I?'

I nodded, still crying.

'Then stop trying to make me regret it. It won't work.'

I sighed, giving up. The tears stopped the moment I found peace with the fact that Ciel didn't want to be saved. 'If there was a way to save yourself,' I asked after a while, not sure how Ciel would like my choice of words, 'would you?'

Ciel, who was already back to work, shrugged. 'That's a bit mean towards Sebastian. He spend all those years serving a kid. I don't think he would let me slip away from his fingers.'

I was quite sure that Sebastian wouldn't. 'Yes, but if you could, would you?'

'I don't know. I don't think about the impossible. My soul is beyond saving. Even though my soul s still in my possession right now, I already lost it. And something lost will never return,' was his answer.

'Well, I don't know,' I said, trying to make this conversation less heavy. 'You could always gauge your eye out.'

'I don't think Sebastian would let me and I doubt it would work,' he said, but I heard in the sound of his voice that he had considered it before.

I wasn't sure how I stood next to him as quick as I did, but I stood there, right in front of him, Ciel looking up at me with frowned eyebrows. 'Can I see?' I asked.

Ciel sighed, looked away for a while. But he took of his eye-patch. Then he turned back to me.

I cupped his face in my hands and lift his face so I could have a better look. His eyes were actually quite big, I realised as I looked into those eye. His right eye wasn't the beautiful blue that his other eye was. It looked… purple. And the mark in his eye, the seal of his contract with a demon. It seemed to glow in his eye and I wondered if it hurt.

My thumb stroked the skin under his right eye and I felt myself being drowned in by the absolute beauty of his right eye. 'It's beautiful,' I said, but it also made me want to cry.

I was surprised that Ciel didn't pull himself free, but he still didn't. 'There's nothing beautiful about it,' he told me, but the tone in his voice gave away that he was embarrassed.

I looked closer, trying to grasp where the light came from. 'Does it hurt?' I asked, frowning by the thought that Ciel had a constant pain in his eye. That would be horrible.

He closed his eyes for a second, seeming more human with both eyes in sight. 'Not as much as before,' he told me. 'It used to hurt quite a bit,' he said it like it was no big deal, but I knew somehow that it must've hurt like hell. 'It got less and less worse every day.' Then he finally pulled away, covering his right eye with his hand. 'I can feel it burn like the day I made the contract when I give an order.' He frowned. 'I think he likes that.' He started to put the eye-patch back on, but I could see that he wasn't used to doing that himself.

'Let me do it,' I offered, reaching towards the strings of the patch.

Ciel let me put on his eye-patch without protesting, but grabbed one of my hands as I tried to pull away again. He looked at me with one eye now, looking surprisingly soft. 'Look out for Sebastian. I don't know what he did to you, but he will crush you if he thinks he could be even a mild danger to me.'

I was actually quite touched that he sounded worried. I didn't let him know that, of course. 'I'm well aware,' I said bitter, knowing that the tone in my voice gave me away. 'Sebastian has made that quite clear.'

Ciel frowned and opened his mouth, clearly to ask a question that I didn't want to answer, then he closed his mouth again and let go of my hand, apparently not interested enough to ask. 'Go and rest a bit,' he said, 'you seem like you need it.'

I nodded and went back to the couch.

Ciel cleared his throat. 'I meant rest in your room, not on my couch,' he then said.

I wasn't sure why, but it was clear that Ciel didn't want me near him right now. So I stood and walked towards to door, but turned around before leaving the room. 'Ciel,' I said, making him look up from his computer again. 'Thank you for talking to me. I appreciate it. I hope we can be…' I thought about it for a while not sure with word I could use that wouldn't put him off '…friends,' I decided to go with. Though I was quite sure that he wouldn't like that word.

'Friends?' Ciel repeated, sounding incredible sarcastic.

I nodded and left the room before he could say anything else.

XxX

Sebastian entered the office only seconds after Clarissa had left. 'Young master, lunch is ready,' he said to Ciel, who wasn't paying attention to his work anymore. 'Today's lunch is scones with homemade strawberry jam.'

Ciel sighed and stood up from his chair. 'Very well.'

The butler smirked. 'I also have a letter for you,' he said, waving the letter to his master as he walked up to his butler.

Ciel put his hand to his forehead, as if he had a headache. 'Read it to me during lunch.'

'May I ask what my young master is thinking about?' Sebastian asked, seeing the strange look in his master's eyes.

As Ciel walked through the corridor, on his way to the dining room, he said: 'Sebastian, do you think—' He stopped, did not want to ask his butler such a question.

'Yes, young master?' Sebastian asked, his eyes glowing with curiosity.

Ciel shook his head. 'No, never mind.'

XxX

I managed to fall asleep and when I awoke, I felt a lot better. I immediately noticed that Mei-Rin was sitting in a chair besides my bed. She had fallen asleep.

I put a hand on her shoulder and shook her carefully. 'Mei-Rin,' I said, trying to wake her gently.

Mei-Rin opened her eyes and as she tried to rub her eyes, she hit the glass or her glasses with her hand, making me laugh. 'Good morning to you, Mei-Rin,' I said, laughing. Feeling a lot better. 'Did you watch over me?'

Mei-Rin seemed to be completely awake now. 'Yes!' she said. 'Young master ordered me to watch over you until his return!'

That made the laugh disappear. 'Ciel left?'

She nodded enthusiastically. 'Yes! And we'll leave for London this afternoon, so I packed clothes for you!'

Leaving for London? Did that mean that Ciel had another case? I didn't think that we were going just because it was the Christmas-season. And did Ciel have another house in London, or did he own Madame Red's house? Wouldn't surprise me. And why did Mei-Rin say 'we'? Was she coming with us this time?

'Are you coming to London as well?' I asked.

She nodded. 'Yes!'

I pulled the covers away and got out of bed. Then I realised that Ciel had actually ordered his maid to stay by my side and I was again flattered and surprised by his worry. He really was a kind kid, way kinder than he gave himself credit for. Not that I was going to tell him that. I did believe that Ciel didn't think that 'kind' was a compliment.

When I went to the bathroom to check how bad my hair had become, I saw that my eyes weren't purple. Strange. I though Sebastian had said that they were. I shrugged. Well, shit happened all the time since I met Ciel and Sebastian. If I questioned everything, I would drive myself crazy.

I looked at my completely hopeless hair and made a decision. Sebastian already knew about the mark and Ciel barely even looked at me, so I guessed that it was okay to make a bun. But I put on a scarf, just to make sure that no one saw the mark in my neck.

Mei-Rin was still sitting in the chair when I came back into the room. I decided that I could talk to turn until Ciel returned. Though I did think that Mei-Rin wasn't really my type of person. But who was, anyway?

'So, how was your day?' I asked her.

Did she blush? 'Err, well, I had the task to clean the silverware today, but Sebastian didn't let me, so I helped Finnian in the garden until young master called me. Since then I sat here.' I wasn't really sure why she sounded so nervous.

I nodded. 'Sebastian gets angry at you guys quite a lot, doesn't he?'

Mei-Rin looked like she wanted to agree, but she didn't literally do that. 'W-we mess up q-quite a lot, yes!' she said. 'We appreciate that young master still wants us to work at the mansion, yes!'

I smiled. I was sure that had something to do with the whole 'protect the mansion'-thing. Though Sebastian had never told me what made Finnian, Bard and Mei-Rin special. 'I can see that,' was my reaction, which didn't seem very fitting, but was the only response I could think of at the moment.

Mei-Rin's smile faded then, almost as if she thought of something sad. 'Did you and mister Sebastian have a fight?' she asked.

I frowned, wondered where that came from. 'No, I don't think so.' Mess with her a bit. I gnashed my teeth.

Mei-Rin noticed that, of course. 'But something did happen, yes?'

I sighed. 'I don't know. I don't think so. It's just that I realised that I was being played and…' I frowned. 'Wait, how do you know about that?'

A smile way too innocent to be innocent appeared on her face. 'Maids always see the most interesting scenes, yes!'

Oh gosh. I blushed. 'Then what did you… see exactly?'

She blushed as well. 'Nothing seriously embarrassing, yes!' was the only answer I got.

I thought about the time in the kitchen, when Sebastian had trapped me and seduced me so that he could have my emotions. Or both the times in the ball room. Though I knew that they'd probably seen that, I hadn't really realised it up until now. 'Oh, god!' I said and I could slap myself. Sebastian hadn't only messed with me in private. He had also messed with me in public.

Ugh, if I could, I would kill him.

XxX

When we arrived at the London mansion, which was indeed the house Madame Red used to live in, Ciel was already there.

Me, Mei-Rin and Finnian (Baldroy stayed home to protect the mansion) hadn't even taken of our coats yet when the front door opened again and Lau walked in as if this was his own house. 'My, my, you are already here!' he said. I wasn't sure who he was talking to. I guess it must have been Ciel, since the little earl had entered the entrance hall when we arrived. I didn't think he'd come to welcome as, I think he just followed Sebastian, who had come to welcome us, since he was a butler and all.

'You're just coming in unannounced?!' Ciel asked annoyed and angry. 'How often have I told you to at least send a note before you visit?!'

As Lau walked towards Ciel, Sebastian took my coat of. And even though I tried to keep in mind that I was angry at him and I still hurt, his presence made me blush. I tried to hide it, but I knew that he saw it.

'Ah, I vaguely remember that,' Lau said, smiling that dumb smile of his.

Sebastian spoke, with three coats in his hands now. 'As we have a gust, why don't I serve tea?' he offered to his master.

Ciel put a hand to his forehead, as if he had a headache. Maybe he had one. I guessed that Lau's presence gave him a headache. He sighed. 'Might as well.'

'I'd rather have chai than English tea,' someone said, but it wasn't Lau who'd said that.

'Might as well,' Ciel said, not noticing that it wasn't Lau who'd said that. Or maybe he did, but he just didn't care.

But the fact that he looked up surprised just moments later told me that he hadn't realised until now.

In the doorway were two men, obviously not from around here, both with dark, olive skin. One was a bit short for a man of his age, probably twenty-something, and had long, dark hair that looked purple. His clothes looked like the clothes from a musical about India. And his eyes were absolutely gorgeous. I would kill for those eyes. They looked like they were made of gold.

The man who stood behind this man had less colourful clothes, but his also looked like a costume. His hair was white, which was short, but he had two long locks which were adorned with beads. He also wore a plain turban, which only showed more that he wasn't from around here. His eyes were green.

Ciel seemed as surprised as I was that they were here. Maybe even more surprised. 'Wh-Wha…?!' he said, pointed at them with his finger.

'Oh, I met them on the street corner,' Lau explained. 'They said they wanted to see you.'

Weird guys from another country wanted to see Ciel? Hm. Maybe it was a business-thing or something.

Ciel ignored him. 'What are you going here?!' he asked the two men. I frowned. It seemed like he knew those guys.

The men had let themselves in, the richer looking one spoke when the other closed the door. 'Why, we're acquaintances now. Have you forgotten already?'

I realised that I didn't know these guys, so I should stay out of it. For now. But someone had to explain this to me later.

'Acquaintances?' Ciel repeated, obviously liking that word just as much as he liked the word 'friends' or 'buddies'.

The richer looking man just passed Ciel, followed by his, supposedly, servant. 'And I saved you, too,' he said, making me raise my eyebrows. Okay, somehow really needed to tell me the story behind that.

'Saved me?' Ciel repeated, sounding insulted and also quite angry now. 'Excuse me?!'

I laughed. His angry Ciel was a Ciel that I'd never seen before. Really like a kid.

The man was standing before me now, clearly planning to walk passed as if I was air as well. 'In India, it's the common practice to invite your saviour home and entertain him. Is it the British way to kick one's saviour out into the cold?' The men walked upstairs and it took Ciel a while to get over his anger before walked upstairs and being the curious girl that I was, I followed him. Moments later we were followed by Sebastian, who had put my and the house staff's coats away. I realised that those two were also following us.

Ciel opened the first room we saw when we came upstairs, the room that used to be mine. 'Just who are you, anyhow?!' he asked, still angry.

I laughed when I saw that the man was laying on the bed in a relaxed possession, his servant standing beside him like a butler. 'Me?' he said, sounding strangely seductive. 'I'm a prince.'

My mouth fell open. 'Prince?!' I said, sounding like a little girl.

The servant explained. I noticed now that he had a hand covered in bandages. I wondered what he'd done with it. 'This is the 26th child of the king Bengal,' he said. 26th? Wow. Busy king. It did explain the rich clothing and the golden jewellery, though. 'Prince Soma Ashman Kadar.'

'Thanks for hosting me here, Shorty,' the prince then said, making me laugh again. How come I never thought of that nickname before?

Finnian was standing beside me. 'Wow, you're a prince?!' he said enthusiastically.

'A-A prince!' Mei-Rin, who was standing beside Sebastian, said. 'I've never seen a prince up close before!'

'You may approach,' prince Soma Somewhat Something said, sounding incredible confident, but not in a bad way.

Of course, the two idiots approached immediately.

'What's that "Penkal" place like, yes?!' Mei-Rin asked.

As the prince explained, you could hear the love of his country in his voice. 'It's a holy land blessed by the goddess Kali and the Ganges River.'

Lau had come to stand beside me now, but talked to Ciel, who was standing in front of me. I hadn't noticed before, but Ciel was actually just a tiny bit smaller then I was. Dang it! That meant that I couldn't really call him 'shorty'. What a shame. Well, I was small for my age, so it wasn't strange that he was almost as tall as I was. 'So you brought the other servants with you this time?' Lau asked.

It was Sebastian who answered. 'Yes,' he said, 'Baldroy is watching the mansion.'

'Ah, that should be all right, then,' Lau said, sounding careless. 'Who is this Baldroy?' he then asked, making me want to slap myself in the face. He really did say everything without thinking, didn't he?

Ciel ignored Lau. 'Sebastian, don't let those two out of your sight,' he orderen, clearly talking about the prince and his servant.

'Very good, my Lord.'

XxX

End of chapter twenty-seven! I actually dreamed about Ciel yesterday. Well, about his funeral, actually. But Ciel was still alive and with us there. It was strange. We were in this bus and Ciel told us, I'm not sure who 'us' were, that Sebastian was a demon and the whole contract deal and what not. Sebastian wasn't there though :(. But anyway, Ciel cried, so that was strange. And we gave roses or something, well, it was just really strange. But I was really sad when I awoke, because it was the first time I dreamed about something Kuroshitsuji-related.