Hello, everyone! I'm back! Well, for now, tomorrow I'll be busy with homework again, so yeah, I probably write two chapters today. Maybe three. Depends.

Hope you guys had a great week or two and sorry for not updating for so long! But wow! More than 70 followers?! That's something! Anyway, enjoy chapter 30 and remember; I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own Clarissa.

XxX

Chapter 30

Ciel hadn't even began explaining the game when Sebastian's face appeared in the window. Upside down. I could only stare amazed. Was there something that guy couldn't do?

'Young master, he's on the move,' he told Ciel, his hair looking very funny because he was upside down.

Ciel acted like he'd seen this sort of trick before. Lau also didn't look surprised. 'All right,' Ciel said, 'let's follow him.'

Of course they were talking about Agni, I wasn't stupid. It couldn't be Soma because Agni wouldn't let Soma go without him. And it was clear that Sebastian meant that only one person was on the move.

I stood up. 'Alright, then. Let's go.'

Just as Ciel opened his mouth to say something, probably something like that I shouldn't come with them because I was stupid or something, there was someone standing at the door I'd left open and said: 'Take me with you!'

We all turned to Soma, who was standing in the doorway with a determined expression on his face.

'You…?' Ciel said surprised.

'I've known all along that Agni was going out after I went to bed,' Soma explained. Well, then I had guessed him stupider than he is. 'I want to know what he's doing!'

'Yes!' I said, immediately understanding. 'Of course we'll take you with us!' I turned to Ciel. 'We will, right?'

Ciel sighed and looked at Sebastian, who was still hanging upside down. 'Well,' he said slowly, turning back to me. 'Prince Soma can come with us. But you, Clarissa, you have to stay here. You'll only be in our way. And not only that, you're injured as well.'

'Injured?' I repeated. 'Such a minor—'

Ciel hold up his hand to silence me. 'I won't allow it. Sebastian, we're leaving. If you don't leave know we might lose sight him.'

'Yes, my Lord,' but the words had lost their flair because some random dude who was hanging upside down was saying them.

XxX

I was surprised that I managed to fall asleep that night. Not only that, I slept very well, that was a first. But I didn't wake up in the morning. I woke up in the middle of the night.

They're back, my Lady, I heard someone whisper in my ear, waking me up and disappearing before I could open my eyes. When I walked downstairs I saw that the voice had indeed been right. They were back. But I immediately noticed that Agni wasn't with them.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Sebastian looked at me with a serious expression and put a finger in front of his mouth to tell me that I should keep my mouth shut. Which I did, much to Sebastian's and my own surprise.

'That man was like a superhuman,' Lau said, bringing the cup of tea to his mouth. Yes, you heard it right. Ciel was so British that he even drank tea with his guests in the middle of the night.

Soma wasn't drinking his tea though. 'It's Samadhi, a state of mental concentration. When he gets like that, no one can touch him.'

I frowned, sure that they were talking about Agni, but not understanding what this was about. I looked at Sebastian again, who made a gesture that looked like he was fencing. I remembered that Sebastian had told me that the dual between him and Agni had been a draw, but I wasn't sure what that should tell me. What did Agni do this evening to bring this kind of topic up?

'Samadhi?' Ciel repeated, clearly not understanding the word just like me and Lau.

It wasn't Soma who explained, but Sebastian, while he did he kept looking at me, not looking at his master, as he answered his question. 'I imagine it's a type of trance. He's producing superhuman power through his absolute faith in his master. It's the power of faith, born from believing in and loving someone.'

What? That sounded like rubbish. It's not like everyone who believed in God had superhuman power, even if their faith and love was absolute. But maybe no one loved God like that. Maybe no one had such absolute believe in anything or anyone. No one except humans like Agni. 'A power a normal human could never obtain,' I murmured and from the look that Sebastian gave me I guessed that he'd heard me.

'Then why would he betray me?' Soma asked, suddenly upset. His fist slammed on the table and I was surprised that the teacups didn't fall over. 'Why do the people close to me always leave?!' Then he knocked the tea cups over himself, shoving them of the table like it was their fault.

Ciel just witnessed this little drama scene with a bored and tired expression on his face, but when the teacups hit the ground he clearly started to get angry. 'Why, you…'

Soma shot up from his chair, clenching his hands in to fists. 'Why? Why?!' Then he fled the room like a spoiled kid. And I was surprised that those were the words that left my lips. This time I didn't mind to get ignored completely.

'Oh,' Sebastian said, 'just look at the Havailand tea set I ordered. It would seem I must retrain him a little.'

I looked at him with one eyebrow pulled up. 'Retrain him? Like a dog?' I asked.

Sebastian just smiled and left the room.

Me and Ciel shared a look before running after him.

XxX

Sebastian walked into Soma's room and threw him out of his bed while me and Ciel were just standing in the room, next to the door. Ciel crossed his arms, clearly decided just to watch.

'How rude!' Soma yelled as he fell on the ground.

'Which of us is the rude one?' Sebastian asked and I was surprised by the harshness and coldness of his voice. 'This is England, and the residence of Earl Phantomhive. You have no right to give me any orders here. You're just an ordinary brat.'

I shivered. His words weren't only harsh, they were mean, clearly intend to hurt Soma. And even though I wasn't fully aware of what was going on, I didn't think he deserved it. Sure, he was acting like a spoiled brat, but he was a prince, how else was he supposed to act? I bet he just didn't know any better.

But Sebastian wasn't finished yet. 'You're a helpless child who can't do anything without Agni. And even he, your pillar of strength, has betrayed you.'

Okay, I had enough of this now. 'Hey—'

Ciel stopped me by putting one gloved hand (he was wearing black leather gloves) over my mouth and grabbed my arm with the other one, holding me still. He shook his head and released me, knowing that I understood that I wasn't allowed to interfere.

'You're right,' Soma said, defeated. 'I have nothing now. I've lost everything.'

That was the moment that Sebastian started to laugh. A laugh so dark and devilish that even Ciel shivered. 'Lost? What a tiresome idiot you are. You didn't "lose" anything. You never had anything to begin with.'

Soma's face became pale as he tried to grasp what Sebastian had just said. 'What?'

A smile worse than death appeared on Sebastian's face. He seemed to be enjoying the pain on the prince's face. 'The status you got from your parents. The castle you got from your parents. The servant you got from your parents. You've never owned a single thing in your life. Am I right?'

This was way to cruel. I started to move forward again, but Ciel put an arm in front of me, still holding me back. I wanted to just ignore him again, but then I saw the determined expression on his face. He looked as if he thought Soma needed this. And he also looked like he would stop this when he thought it was time to do so.

'You're wrong…' Soma said, but he did not sound convincing.

'The truth is, some part of you knew about Agni, but you didn't even have the courage to find out on your own.'

Soma tried to flee the room. 'You're wrong!'

The door closed in front om him and Sebastian was the one to blame. I must admit I was relieved that I could not see his face anymore.

'You know I'm not wrong,' Sebastian said, towering over Soma like a king that Soma could never be. 'Posing as the tragic hero now that you've been forced to see reality? You're truly a hopeless brat.'

That was the moment that Soma fell on the ground, as if his legs had given up. 'They all promised they'd stay with me forever…'

'They only said that because that was what you wanted to hear, obviously. They wouldn't serve someone they got nothing from in return. In the slums, even a three-year-old would know that. No one actually loved you.'

Nothing Sebastian said was wrong and I wasn't disagreeing with anything. Still, it felt like a crime to tell this to Soma, who was looking so sad and broken. When was Ciel going to shut him up?

Apparently, now. 'That's enough of that,' Ciel said, crossing his arms again. It was clearly that he didn't feel sorry for Soma and I wasn't sure what had convinced him to stop Sebastian from saying anything else. 'Maybe I would've been the same way, if it hadn't been for that month.'

Soma had noticed that the worst was behind him and stood up while I asked: 'That month?' That was some new information. So I'd been right. This wasn't just about his parents. There was more. A month more. What happened to Ciel in that month? What drove him to such hatred and despair that he would summon a demon?

I was surprised that Ciel actually answered me, but it was clear that he was doing it to teach Soma something. 'My family was killed, my home burned down and I suffered humiliation worse than you'd inflict on a beast.'

I shivered, avoiding Ciel's face. Whatever happened, it was something so dark that I started to doubt if I even wanted to know.

Soma was staring at Ciel now, clearly not fully understanding what his words meant. 'I was helpless,' Ciel said. 'A child. But I came back here, to make the people who did all that to me suffer the same humiliation. If the Phantomhives are a nuisance to those who killed my parents, then if I stay the family head, they'll eventually come after me. I'm waiting for them to come here to kill me.'

I realised I had problems with standing when Sebastian grabbed me to keep me from falling. I wasn't sure why, but his story made me feel like someone had blown out the candle that had kept me alive until that point.

Oh. It's worse. Worse than I expected. So unclean. So, so unclean.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. 'Purple,' he said, so soft that I wasn't even sure if I'd heard it right.

'Why would you go that far?' Soma asked Ciel, clearly not understanding anything.

'What good would melancholy and grief do me?' he asked Soma, closing his eye as he spoke. 'Even a dead person can stand still and do nothing. But I'm alive and standing on my own power.' He opened his eye again. 'If I'm going to die someday, I might as well do it without regrets.' He looked at me as he said: 'And on my own terms.' A small, lifeless smile appeared on his face. 'I won't use high-sounding words as "revenge". This is all just to please me. It's a game to see whether I win or they win. Even if I'm plunged to the depths of despair, if there's a spider's thread there that I can crawl up to, I'll take hold of it without giving up. We humans have the strength to do that.'

Soma was completely amazed now, clearly starting to understand what Ciel was trying to tell him. I wasn't thinking about that, though. My mind was too full of a feeling that I could only describe as hate. I hated to monsters in this world, I hated to darkness that had driven Ciel to say such words. Words no ordinary child could think of. But I understood him better now. He wasn't a victim. A victim was weak. No, Ciel was a survivor, holding on to every spider thread he could find. That one of them happened to lead to a demon wasn't something he regretted. He just moved on, knowing that grieving and regretting wouldn't change anything. But the thing I understood most now was that I could never understand him. Because, even after everything I had been through, I was still normal. I hadn't suffered enough to become half the person that he was. And with that I didn't mean a good person. I meant a wise one. The wisdom of an old pessimistic man in the body of a twelve-year-old boy.

'It's up to each person whether they grab the thread or not, though,' Ciel added. Then he sighed and dropped the topic, clearly done talking. 'Enough talk. Sebastian, I need to talk to you about West. Come.'

Sebastian let go of me carefully, making sure that I wouldn't fall over when he let go. I didn't. Because I realised that I too had been acting weak up until this point. Complaining about how heartless Sebastian was and how much I hated it when Ciel didn't take me with him, but now I realised that I wasn't his teammate. I was his pawn, like everyone else was. And I couldn't move if he didn't move me. And although normally I would have fought against it, normally I wouldn't have let anyone use me, but I understood now that that was what kept Ciel alive. He placed his pawns in order to protect himself, the king. Because if the king dies, de game is over. And I really didn't want to just sit here and let that happen. If he had a way to use me for his causes, I would let him. And I wouldn't stand in his way.

After all, it wasn't like I had anywhere else to go.

Sebastian followed Ciel as he left the room and soon after that, Soma ran after them. I just kept standing there, realising that I, too, was a spoiled brat.

Well, shit. How did that happen?

XxX

I wasn't sure when I had fallen asleep, but when I woke up I was in my bed and I had missed all the critical information. Lucky enough for me Sebastian came to my room that morning. And with 'lucky' I meant that I seriously considered to jump out of the window to outrun the guy, not only because of his harshness towards Soma, but also because he'd come to take a look at my burn marks.

'You are going to participate in a cooking program?' I asked Sebastian as I stood in the bathroom. I had locked myself up there to make sure that Sebastian wasn't looking as I unwrapped the bandage.

'It appears so,' Sebastian said.

'And only because this Wets-guy is using Agni to take down his competition… the bastard… ' Then I pulled a face. 'Wait… let me guess… Ciel only wants you to participate so he can win because that will be great publicity for the Funtom Company.' Every word sounded sour.

'That's quite accurate indeed,' Sebastian said. 'Young master has been thinking about expanding the business into foodstuffs for a while now. If he starts by winning the curry show, it's sure to generate buzz…Are you almost done?'

'Yes, yes,' I said. 'Hold on, Sebby, we're not all as fast as you are.' I cursed. How the hell did Sebastian put this bandage on me? This felt like duct tape. 'Do you even know how to make curry?' I mumbled. 'I bet Agni does. And although I think your food is delicious, I doubt you can defeat him and… wait… the curry show? As in the curry show held next week?'

'Yes, my Lady,' Sebastian answered.

'Oh my god!' I screamed. 'I heard the Queen will be there? She will, won't she? I've read somewhere that she loves curry!'

'Young master does think it's just a rumor,' Sebastian told me. 'Are you done?'

'Yes, yes, yes,' I said as the bandage fell on the ground. Then I looked into the mirror in the bathroom and saw… nothing.

A knock on the door. 'Miss Lane?' Sebastian said.

'Sebastian,' I said, staring at myself in the mirror as I looked into two familiar eyes. 'If I were an angel, would I get burn marks like that?'

It took Sebastian a while to answer. 'Well, angels can surely get injured. The injuries would just heal a lot quicker. Why the sudden interest?'

I just stared at my reflection, trying to understand what was going on with me. Was I slowly turning into a doll, did Drossel do that to me without me noticing? I highly doubted that, but what if?

Another knock on the door. 'Miss Lane?'

'They're gone,' I told him, checking if the burn mark in my neck was still there. If unfortunately was. 'The burn wounds they… they have vanished.'

'Vanished?' Sebastian repeated.

I suddenly got scared that he would break in, so I said. 'Yeah, but maybe they just weren't that bad. I mean, it was just tea, you know.'

'That's true,' was his reaction. 'But I'd still like to take a look.'

I sighed and put in a T-Shirt that releaved my neck so that he could see that the burn marks there were gone. And now only hope that he didn't want to 'take a look' at the rest of th burn wounds.

I walked out of the bathroom in my T-Shirt and jeans and saw that Sebastian had a strange sort of smile on his face. A smile that I didn't trust at all. 'Why are you smiling like that?' I asked him.

He shook his head. 'I'm not smiling, my Lady.' He reached with his hand and touched my neck. 'You were right,' he said. 'They have completely vanished.' But the look on his face told me that he wasn't thinking about the burn wounds.

I took a step back. 'Why, Sebastian, thank you for telling me something that I knew already. And if you'll excuse me; I have homework to do.' Not a very convincing lie, but it was the only thing I could think of at the moment.

Sebastian smiled an amused smile, clearly not believing me. 'Of course, miss,' he said, leaving the room without a sound of a trace.

I sighed. If only I could read minds. That would make my whole life so much easier.

XxX

Me and Soma were standing in front of a gigantic table filled with endless pans with curry, all looking different.

'Did… did you make all these yourself?' Soma asked, completely blown away by the incredible amount.

'Yes,' Sebastian answered smiling, as if it was nothing. 'You're the only one who knows Agni's curry. And since your taste might be different from the British judges tastes, I need a British person as well, that's why miss Lane is here. I'd like your help to make more divine curry than any curry in this world, as soon as possible.'

Soma didn't seem to like the idea at first, but gathered to strength to say: 'A-All right. If me eating curry will be useful, I'll eat as much as you please!'

Sebastian looked at me now, waiting for my approval. Knowing that Ciel wouldn't agree to participate, I nodded, believing I made the wrong choice the moment I made it. But at least I helped Ciel out with his promotion stunt.

A smile that almost looked like it was just for me appeared on Sebastian's face and I had to tell myself that that was just one of Sebastian's seducing-tricks. 'Thank you,' he said, but then I realised why I had felt like this was a bad idea. Oh, god. How could I forget? This wasn't going to be fun. This was going to be a nightmare.

I didn't like curry.

XxX

Chapter 30 has ended! So today's word: cat. So in Dutch you usually say 'kat', but if it's male then you can also say 'kater'. If it's a female then the correct word is 'poes'. And I believe cat in Japanese is neko, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

Sliver Moon Fairie: Heh heh, thank you :)

promocat: Aww, thank yo uso much!

Aizawa Maiko: Thank you, I'll remember that! :)

wolf-akuma: Well, soon wasn't really soon, so sorry about that. But thanks! :D

Guest: Ah, that sounds interesting!