New chapter, new chapter, new chapter! Because I probably won't be able to update tomorrow or Saturday :( So that sucks, but here you have a new chapter for now.

And remember: I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own my OC.

XxX

Chapter 41

'It's asthma,' Doc told us.

Me, Sebastian and Doll (who followed us after walking into us while Sebastian carried Ciel to the infirmary tent) were inside the infirmary tent, where Ciel was laying on one of the beds there. I felt so helpless as I watched him breathe so unsteadily. I couldn't do anything. Ciel wasn't even conscious.

I looked over at Sebastian, because I thought that he must've known. But he looked just as surprised as me. 'Asthma?' he repeated confused, almost as if he'd never heard about it. 'We've lived together for over three years and I've never seen him have a fit like this.'

I purposely said nothing. I, as his sister, was supposed to know. Sebastian didn't have that kind of lie keeping him from asking or saying anything, so he could say whatever he wanted. I just hoped Doc wouldn't ask me anything about it…

Doc looked at his paper. 'Well, if he hasn't had an attack in three years, he may be essentially cured…' He frowned. 'But when patients are exposed to abrupt stress or chill, or if they catch a cold, they sometimes relapse.'

Sebastian seemed to be sincerely worried when he said: 'But he's caught colds before… '

His words had sounded so sad that it made me frown. Did he really care, or did he just pretend to care? I wasn't sure. I hoped it was the first option, but I knew that it probably was the second. I mean, since when did Sebastian care about anything but himself?

'There were probably multiple triggers this time,' Doc said in reaction to Sebastian's words. 'And I hear he took a tub-bath outside with our weight-lifting addicts? It's no wonder he caught a cold!'

Then Ciel's eyes suddenly went open and I really wanted to grab his hands, but the only thing that wasn't under his blankets was his face. 'Wa… water…' Ciel said softly.

'Ah!' Doc said with a sad smile while I took the water from the small table beside the bed. 'You're awake?' he asked, not really expecting an answer.

I gave him a bit water, which was immediately followed by him started to cough again. But when I tried to get off of the bed again, where I'd sat down to help him drink the water, he grabbed my arm to make sure I stayed.

Doc decided that Ciel was conscious enough to answer his questions now. 'Smile, did you have a bad case of asthma as a young boy?'

Ciel just stared at me, his hand still on my arm. 'Aunt An,' he said softly, almost as if he was mistaking me for her.

Oh God. I wanted to cry. This was a way in which I did not want to see Ciel. I wanted to see the wise, stubborn, strong young earl that I knew. I wanted to see the boy who wasn't able to show any weakness to anyone. I wanted Earl Phantomhive back. This Ciel scared me.

Doc sighed. 'This is no good – his mind is muddled. We'll have to keep a sharp watch until the fever and coughing stop.'

'I'll go get some ice!' Doll said, running out of the tent as fast as he could to be of some sort of help to Ciel.

'What about you?' Doc asked me and Sebastian.

'I stay with him,' I said, taking Ciel's hand of my arm and holding his hand with mine. I gave Sebastian an almost possessive look, because I didn't care which triggers it had been; this was definately his fault.

'I'd like to stay and help, too,' Sebastian said, looking at me while he answered Doc's question. He stared at me with intense eyes. 'If I may.'

Doc smiled. 'I'm much obliged.'

XxX

POV change

'What? Black and Smile snuck in? What were they after?'

'That, I don't know, but you mustn't forget that the girl was there too, but only for a little bit, says Wordsworth,' Snake answered, translating one of his snakes.

Peter didn't seem too sure about what Snake was telling them. 'Can you really talk with snakes?' he asked.

'Do you doubt me, you simpleton?! says Wordsworth,' Snake told the circus artists with no expression on his face.

Joker sighed. 'Why didn't 'ee say so before?' he asked.

Another snake around Snake's neck lifted its head to speak. 'There, I told you to report it straightaway, says Emily.'

Joker forced a polite smile. 'Well, never mind. Thank 'ee, and off to bed, now.'

'Good night. Sleep well! says Wordsworth and Emily,' Snake translated before turning around and talking away, leaving Jumbo, Joker and Peter alone.

As soon as Snake was far enough, Joker's smile faded and his face became dark. 'I reckon they might know. That fool Doll…'

'Doll's such a little twerp! I told you we shouldn'ta brung her!' Peter said, clearly already deciding that Black and Smile had to die.

Joker ignored him. 'Black and Smile… and Whisper, too… Who are they? Now that I think about it, their background story just seems… off,' he said, deep in thought.

'Let's get rid of them. And soon,' Peter proposed. 'Maybe tonight.'

'No,' Jumbo reacted, joining the conversation, 'wait.'

'Jumbo's right,' Joker said, siding with the tall man. 'If they be with the Yard, killing them puts us in a bind.'

'We'd have to break up the troupe, at the very least,' Jumbo added.

Joker sighed. 'Yes… I reckon I'll try to get some information out of them.' He frowned in a thoughtful pose. 'Whisper seems to be weakest link to me, so I'll try to get some info out of her. If I do not succeed, I'll ask Father. If that be the case, I'll leave this evening.' He stood up. 'But what Father wants is the target. So if they get up to anything whilst I'm gone… '

'We know,' Jumbo interrupted, feeling no need to hear Joker's whole explanation.

'If they do, we will move without you,' Peter added.

XxX

Clarissa's POV

Ciel was still coughing and coughing, but he seemed to be more conscious now. Doc had been busy with other patients, but returned to Ciel's bed just as Ciel seemed to be about to say something. But when Doc approached, he shut is mouth.

'How is he?' Doc asked.

I shook my head. 'He still seems poorly off.'

'I thought as much,' Doc said as he rolled himself to the cabinet in the corner of the tent, only a few feet away from us. 'I just remembered that I might have some medicine for asthma patients… Now, where did I put it?'

Ciel came closer to me, almost getting up, but not really. With his mouth against my ear he whispered: 'Can you give a message to Sebastian?'

I nodded, holding a close watch on Doc. I thought that Sebastian would probably be able to hear him if he whispered like this just fine, with his demon hearing and stuff, but I didn't say anything about that. Because I was too scared Doc would hear me whisper, even if I did so as soft as I could.

'Tell him: This is an order: go to the heraldic authorities and identity the man with the signet ring. The registers are in London and Edinburgh. If I move now, the doctor will make a fuss. Come fetch me in the morning.' I was actually impressed Ciel managed to say all this without coughing. Maybe he felt better than he made us think.

I looked over at Sebastian, who looked at me with a smile that told me he'd heard it. He nodded and the next moment, he was gone. This seemed to calm Ciel down, as he finally closed his eye to fall asleep, letting go of me in the process.

I sighed. There wasn't much for me to do here. Maybe I could help Sebastian. With that in mind I left the tent as quietly as possible, trying to find Sebastian even though I knew that was kind of a lost cause.

'You again? Well, this won't do.'

Or it took me about three seconds. Sebastian stood just outside the infirmary tent, with Suit pointing his stick at him once again. Those two really should stay out of each other's way.

The funny thing was that – this time – Suit was wearing his pyjamas. 'And where are you off to? I believe I told you not to wander about without your master.'

I walked over to Sebastian and stood beside him, immediately sure that that had been the wrong choice. Suit probably wouldn't be proud of me for picking the 'vile demon's side', but – at least for now – I was on Ciel's side. And if that meant that I also had to be an Sebastian's side, then so be it.

'I'm afraid my master is indisposed, so I must do his errands,' Sebastian said and as I looked at him from the side I noticed that amused smile on his face.

Suit didn't take that crap. 'Return to the tent at once. I cannot allow you to act independently.' He started to attack Sebastian again, easily avoiding me while doing so and Sebastian easily avoiding the sharp end of the stick. 'Small mistakes can lead to extreme overtime, you see.'

Then Sebastian grabbed the stick and my mouth fell open as I saw how he bled. Wait… could he even bleed? I mean… I knew he could… but from such a strange weapon? And in such a strange situation, in which he probably wasn't really in danger at all? Seeing him bleed like this made me feel like he might not be as powerful as I thought he was.

'I'm sorry,' Sebastian said, clearly not effected by his bleeding hand, 'but I have my duties as a butler. I cannot allow you to disturb my master's sleep. And you don't really want to cause a scene here, do you?'

If my mouth hadn't been open already, it would have fallen open now. Was he protecting his master's sleep? Where had the heartless Sebastian gone? This was certainly still a demon, but at least it seemed to be a demon who cared.

'Why don't you and I make a deal?' Sebastian said, trying to negotiate with the reaper. 'If you give me one hour of freedom, I'll swear that I will never eat a soul in your territory again. Just one hour.'

I couldn't believe that. Not even Sebastian could search two registers in an hour. Especially when one was in London and the other in Edinburgh.

The reaper shook his head, not even considering the offer. He pulled back his weapon, though, splashing Sebastian's blood over the cold ground. 'No, thank you. Seducing your prey into darkness with sweet words is the demonic cliché.'

'Ah, I was afraid you'd say no,' Sebastian said, observing his white glove that was now completely ruined and red. He took off the glove as he said: 'Oh, well. I'll explore other means, then.' Then he turned around and walked away and when Suit made no move to stop him, I ran after him.

'Be careful which side you choose, miss Lane. Some choices cannot be undone,' I heard Suit say before disappearing into the night.

'What are you going to do?' I asked Sebastian as he stopped walking, his eyes strangely focused on something I couldn't hear nor see.

Then he suddenly smiled, as if he had found what he was looking for. Then he turned to me and touched my face as if I was the most precious thing in the world and as if this was his last chance to touch me, which made me want to frown but also unable to move. I felt I was blushing like an idiot and I knew my heart was beating faster too, and I hated myself for both of those things, but his touch just seemed so magical. Especially now that he was only wearing one glove. His demon skin seemed to sing as it touched mine, making seducing me even easier than normal.

A devilish smile appeared on his face, revealing his sharp, perfectly white, teeth. 'Seducing my prey into darkness with sweet words, huh?' he said, clearly not talking to me. 'Right, I guess that is true.'

'What did you say?' I asked, but before I could even finish the question, he was gone.

Great. He really should stop doing that.

XxX

I got lost along the way back to the infirmary tent. I wasn't sure how, but I ended up at the big circus tent, not sure where the infirmary tent was anymore. I couldn't enter the big circus tent though, because they had put up fences after tonight's show.

'Oh dear. Be thee lost?' I familiar voice asked as I looked at the trucks trying to think whether I had to go left or right.

I turned around. 'Ah, yeah!' I said as innocently as I could. It worked because, in fact, I was actually lost. 'I was looking for the infirmary tent, but I can't find it. Ha ha.' I scratched the back of my head.

Joker smiled a small smile. 'Be 'ee feeling sick?' he asked, approaching me slowly.

I didn't trust the look in his eyes, so took I step back, grabbing the fence behind me. Which was so alarmingly cold that I wanted to take my hands off it the moment I had grabbed it. But I didn't. Because the fence felt like the only help I had at the moment. 'N-No, no. Cie—Smile is sick. I wanted to visit him.'

Joker tilted his head to the side, like how Sebastian often did. Only his act seemed much rustier, mostly because it was clear that this was an act that he had practiced very often. 'Ah. Well, I hope 'ee be alright.' Then he came closer to me and put his arms at the fence at either side of me, leaning his face close to mine.

I immediately recognised this tactic. Sebastian had used it on me before. He used the fact that his oh-so-attractive body was standing so close to me, almost as if he was making me drunk with his presence. So I knew how to keep calm and I knew how that he was only seducing me for the hell of it, cornering me so that he could get what he wanted.

'So… Smile be thee brother, right? And 'ee both seem to know Black very well, too,' he told me, making his hidden intentions quite clear.

Okay, so he wanted more information about 'Black' and 'Smile'. Great. Now I at least knew what he was after. 'Yes, Smile is my brother,' I said, not letting him get the best of me. He wasn't going to get anything from me.

'And 'ee… loves Black, right?' Joker said.

Okay, now I was confused. A, even if that were true, how would he now that? And B, why did he want to know that? What was he going to do with that information if I replied? I wasn't even a real member of the 'Queen's Guard Dog'-team, let alone someone you could benefit from. Especially because what I felt didn't matter. Because Sebastian would never ever fall in love with anyone and especially not a human girl.

So I decided to not reply at all. I just focused on those purple eyes of his, which reminded me of Ash. Yeah, Ash. I hadn't seen him in a while. Maybe he didn't like circuses. Or maybe he just didn't care anymore. And where was Suit? Couldn't he help me with—

'It seemed as if Black only be here for Smile and his own. Not you,' Joker said when I didn't react. His eyes glowed in a strange way. I didn't even know that normal human eyes could glow. But maybe it only seemed that way.

'He can't return your feelings, but he is kind to 'ee,' Joker added when I again didn't reply. Now I even looked away from his face, staring into the darkness, staring into a place where this strange man wasn't using such words to get the information he needed. 'Although that must hurt 'ee more… Cruel, don't 'ee think?' He grabbed my chin and turned my face to his, forcing me to look at him. 'He will never even look at 'ee.'

I didn't understand why I started to cry, but I did. But then I saw that a small victory smile appeared on Joker's face and I reminded myself that he just did this so I would betray Sebastian and Ciel and tell him everything I know. Because he thought I was a weak link. An outsider. Well, maybe he was right. But at least I could try to prove him wrong.

It was almost funny how Sebastian had – how unintentional it may have been – learned me how to recognise and resist such seduction. Joker couldn't seduce me, because I had already been seduced by someone way hotter a couple of times. He could never beat that guy. Or should I say 'demon'.

I grabbed Joker's fake arm and tore it from his body, showing no mercy at all. As the arm fell on the ground and Joker stared at me I said: 'I have talked to Black about this a while ago and there's nothing you can do to make me feel bad about it. And I'm sorry I ripped your arm off' – sorry, not sorry – 'it was an accident.' Not really, but hey, if he could do what he'd just done, then I could lie.

Before Joker could say anything else I ran away, sure to find the infirmary if I just kept searching.

And I did manage to find the infirmary. Doc was there, but not by Ciel's side. He told me that Doll was there, waiting for me or 'Black' to get back. When I arrived at her side, I thanked her and she left the infirmary tent to get some sleep. How she would fall asleep tonight was something only the night will know, because I truly believed her when she said that she had trouble with sleeping alone.

Ciel still looked sick, with red cheeks and sweat on his forehead. For now he was at least sleeping, but he seemed to have a nightmare. He looked like he was seeing something horrible and he made soft sounds that clearly sounded like suffering. I bit my lip and thought about grabbing his hand, but I wasn't sure if that would help him. So I grabbed all my courage and climbed into the bed to lay beside him. I lay on my side with one arm around him and my nose against his shoulder. This seemed to calm him down, but only a bit. Somehow this calmed me down as well and I shut my eyes, trying to fall asleep myself.

Then the thought came into my head that I had probably hurt Joker. And I didn't care. I had torn someone's body-part off – how make it may be. Wasn't that a horrible thing to do? I probably killed my father, too? Why wasn't I feeling guilty? Why wasn't I hating myself? Why was I feeling like me normal self, maybe even more than my usual self? I felt more powerful because of what I'd done and I certainly didn't regret it. Oh gosh. Was I slowly becoming a demon, too? Not so much in body, but maybe in mind?

I shook my head, not willing to think these thoughts. I would never become like Sebastian. Because I would never hurt Ciel or do anything that might hurt him. The world had done that more than enough already. At least one person in his life would stay until the end for selfless reasons. Even though it was a bit selfish of me, seeing how Ciel gave me food and a roof above my head. Oh boy. I really wasn't a good person, was I?

As I slowly drifted off to sleep I banished the depressing thoughts from my mind, but one lingered there, burning like a little candle in the darkness of the tent.

Ciel had ordered Sebastian to find out the man's identity during the night and to come and fetch him in the morning. But Sebastian couldn't leave the circus' grounds, so how was he going to accomplish that? I knew he was a demon who was good – or should I say 'flawless' – at what he did, but could he be that good that he had the identity by tomorrow?

Then Suit's voice sounded through my ears, almost as if he was standing right next to me. You seduce your prey into darkness with sweet words. Cleverly, sweetly, softly, so that it won't notice the monster behind the mask.

Sebastian… what are you doing?

XxX

Hehehe. I'm evil. I just liked the idea that Clarissa would be seduced at the same time that Sebastian was seducing someone else. And yes, he did seduce Beast to get the Father's name like he did in the manga and the anime. Clarissa sure as hell didn't change his mind. I think he liked the idea of doing something like that even more if it would make her jealous.

No word today because I'm lazy and again: I probably won't update tomorrow and the day after that. So sorry about that.

Fire in a Dark Soul: Ha ha, sorry about that! I did that kind of unintentionally. I knew what kind of line I wanted him to say and I just wrote it that way because it was the only way it popped up in my head (probably because it's such a famous line). And thanks! Hope you like the upcoming chapter too :)

Sliver Moon Fairie: Don't worry, I agree with you on this. I wish I could just slap him! So yeah, I made Clarissa slap him for me :D

promocat: ha ha, is okay, I don't like to spell that word too. And yeah, it's kind of sad to see Ciel like this. I like seeing his vulnerable side, but I miss the 'Epic Earl Phantomhive'. I just love Ciel when he is all arrogant and awesome :D

Thanks for reading and reviewing and stuff like that!