This chapter was… hard to write. Especially considering that I really didn't want Clarissa to go with Ciel to Lord Kelvin's mansion, but I did want her to find out about his past and… yeah, it's pretty complicated. And I cried while writing this. So I bet there are a lot of typos because of my overly active emotions. So yeah.

Hope you guys will enjoy this chapter!

This will be the last chapter for a while, because next week I'm skiing in Germany somewhere, so yeah, don't think I'll be able to update then. And that's why I made a really long chapter! It's as long as two chapter combined, so yeah, hope you like it!

And I probably will update another time this week, maybe tomorrow, maybe Friday, I don't know, but in case that I don't, I wanted to say all this.

So, yeah, let's get this 'party' (aka emotion breakdown) started. And remember; I don't own Kuroshitsuji!

XxX

Chapter 43

When I woke up it was dark already and when I looked at the clock I saw it was almost nine 'o clock. Well shit. Had I been sleeping for an entire day?

I got out of bed and walked to the kitchen to see Agni cooking something that smelled Indian. The strange thing was that even though I hadn't eaten anything for days, the scent did not appeal to me. I wasn't hungry at all.

Then Agni turned around to see who entered the kitchen and he dropped the big spoon he'd been holding, staring at me as if I was some sort of monster.

I frowned. 'What is it?' I asked him, not understanding what it was. Was it my hair? Did I have something on my face?

'Y-y-y…' He shook his head, grabbed the spoon and put himself back together before he said: 'I believe you might be sick as well, miss Lane. You look very… pale.'

This made me frown even more and I hurried to the entrance hall, because there was a mirror there. And then I understood what he'd said. One of my eyes was purple now, quite strange, and the other one was a bright colour green. And my skin. I was pale, but not the normal kind. The small scar that I'd had on my cheek ever since I was little was gone and my skin looked smoother, almost flawless.

I looked like Sebastian.

What had he done to me?

I hurried back to the kitchen. 'Where's Sebastian, Agni?' I asked him, trying to sound as if I wasn't freaking out. Which didn't go over well, but at least Agni didn't notice that.

Agni looked confused. 'He and Earl Phantomhive left over an hour ago. I… I assumed you knew.'

Oh. So they had gone away without me. Great. I still really wasn't a member of the team. But now was not the time to feel left out or hurt. 'Do you know where they went?' I asked him, already knowing the answer.

'I do not know, my Lady,' he said, but I was already running away before he'd finished his answer. I grabbed my coat and ran out of the house, put didn't put the coat on while I was running to the circus; the only place I could think of. I wasn't really that cold.

Then, suddenly, I was a dark shadow on the roofs of the London houses, jumping with a speed and grace that I recognized.

'Mister Spears!' I shouted, running after the dark shadow as he stopped. Then I looked harder and saw that it was – indeed William T Spears.

He jumped down the roof, landing in front of me. 'Ah, it's you. I didn't recognize you… you made quite a… change,' he said, as if it wasn't obvious enough. 'Why did you call my name?' he then asked.

'Where are you off to?' I asked, hoping that it would be where Sebastian and Ciel were.

He readjusted his glasses. 'I'm off to the estate of Baron Kelvin,' he said, 'I have work to do there.'

'If I asked you a question, would you answer me honestly, no matter what the question is?' I asked him, trying to trust this man while also failing to do so. Not because he hadn't been good to me, but because he looked so damn much like a demon that it was almost scary.

'Depends on the question,' William answered in all honesty. 'But I certainly would not lie.'

'What am I?' I asked.

'I won't tell you,' he answered.

I sighed. I knew it. 'Okay. Then I'll ask an easier question. That house that belong to that Baron-guy… Are Sebastian and Ciel there?'

'You mean the vile demon and its master?' William asked, clearly only asking so that he could insult Sebastian some more.

'Indeed,' I answered, trying to be calm.

'Yes,' William answered. 'Yes, they are.'

I took a deep breath. 'Okay. I thought so.' I sighed and stepped closer to the reaper. 'Take me with you.'

He looked like I'd just said something ridiculous. 'I do believe it's not proper to bring you with me, young lady. It's too dangerous and your existence is too important—'

'Yeah, yeah,' I interrupted, my patience wearing thin. 'I'm important and blah blah blah. Right now I don't care about that. You want to protect me? Fine. But I have someone I want to protect, too. And right now that person is at an estate belonging to a child-kidnapper – possible child-murderer – together with his demon, while also dealing with a cold and asthma. So yeah, I think I have a reason to be concerned.' I took another step and looked deep into those perfect green eyes of his. 'So, I'll ask once more. Take. Me. With. You.'

William readjusted his glasses again and looked at me with a slight look of surprise on his face. Then he said: 'Well, I suppose that this can be considered as a way to get in touch with your true self. And I also believe that someone like you is exactly what that boy needs to stay out of the demons claws… for a while at least. But remember that I might not be able to save you. And I'm started to feel like that demon doesn't want you to be saved.'

As William lifted me up so that he would move faster instead of my human-pace running, I laughed. 'Believe me,' I said, 'I already know that.'

XxX

The mansion was big, but it looked empty. I frowned as William put me down in front of the door. 'Where… where are they?'

William closed his eyes only for a second before opening them again. 'In the cellar, I believe,' he told me, before readjusting his glasses again.

I sighed and looked at the front door, which was locked, of course. Well, maybe my strange voodoo-powers could finally come to good use for me. I slammed my hand on the door with the only thought in my mind that I wanted to break this door apart. And it did.

As if my hand was made of lightning the door blew away, pieces flying everywhere but my way. I gave William a look and he looked more surprised than I thought he would. He never really had much emotion on his face. 'Do you even know how you just did that?' he asked me.

'Nope,' I answered in all honesty. 'But it worked, so what do I care.' Then I ran inside, immediately looking for the stairs to the cellar. It wasn't until long that I noticed that William wasn't following me anymore, but I decided not to think about that now.

I found my way to the cellar, which was strangely not a stairs, but an easier way down, as if someone in a wheelchair lived here. Geez, they could've just installed an elevator, right? I mean, this mansion looked like the man living here sure as hell was rich enough.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. The whole mansion was filled with creepy dolls. Right out of a horror movie. Scary, but not scary enough to keep me from moving.

There was light at the end of the hallway, and a sickening smell coming out of the room. Then I heard a voice of a man, who truly sounded like a lunatic. 'Now, Lord Phantomhive, let's repeat that day of three years ago!'

I reached the doorway of the room and saw that it looked almost like an old Roman arena, only a bit smaller. But the thing I noticed most was the cages, cages and cages full of children. And an altar in the middle of this round-shaped chamber. This looked like a scenery from hell.

And I had seen it before.

I didn't pass out. I was still there, but my eyes didn't see anything. They just saw darkness and heard the familiar voice of Ash talk with a voice that wasn't familiar at all. A voice darker than anything. 'This girl. I would like you to sacrifice her tonight. If you don't mind,' Ash said.

'Of course not!' the man said. 'You're one of the most important members! Of course we will sacrifice her! Such a beautiful child must be worth something to the devil.'

'Indeed she must,' was Ash' reaction.

An then the darkness was gone and I bathed in light, looking at the room where I would murdered. Where he would murder me.

I remembered it now. The room with all the masked people, wanting to call on the devil to grant their wishes. Sick, twisted people who thought that killing children was a great idea. And Ash, who'd taken me away from my house, picking me up as if I was his to take. He put me in a bag and brought me to this place. I would've been the last to be sacrificed that evening. Children before me turned the altar red, but the devil that these wicked humans tried to call never came.

Until he did come, but not for them. The whole room was filled with darkness as one of the children, a child with bright blue eyes that wasn't in the same cage as me and seemed further away than any other child, because he was so close to freedom now, reached out with his hand to the dark creature, turning everyone to dust. Wait… everyone?

'Come, my dear. This is no place for a lady to be,' someone called, reaching her pale arms out to me as I bathed in heavenlike light. Her purple eyes looked at me and smiled. 'Look at you, you're a pretty lady. Don't worry, dear. I'm here to keep you alive.' Then she spread her white wings and suddenly I was outside, where someone that looked even more familiar waited for her.

'Angela,' the Undertaker said. 'You know that this will cost you your angel soul? You will become a fallen angel.' He sounded only a bit sad.

'Only an angel would've been quick and powerful enough to save her,' the angelic lady said. 'And I don't want to be a fallen angel. Please, would you kill me? I don't want to live on as a vile creature such as a fallen angel. I don't want to forget what real beauty is.' She put me down and I walked over to the Undertaker as he reached his hand out towards me. 'And please, take care of her. Make sure that no one ever forgets that she's an unique creature that might start a new era.'

'I will,' the Undertaker agreed as one of his hands covered my eyes to make me unable to see anything.

'I've never been able to forget that pain,' was the first thing I heard when the memory faded and I was back in the cellar again. 'I, who gave up everything to meet you, was the only one who couldn't.' The crazy man said and now I could see him. He was sitting in a wheel chair, covered in bandages, but still wearing fancy clothes. Ciel stood there frozen, with a gun pointed at the man's head. Sebastian just looked at the whole scene, but I assumed that he was aware of the fact that I was there. He was holding Joker restraint, with a knife against his throat.

'"Why is fate so bent on keeping us apart?" I wondered,' the man – who I assumed was baron Kelvin – said, a strange smile on his face. 'And then on that day, they were all gone. It was you who killed the, wasn't it, my lord?'

I covered my hand to make sure that no one heard the scream I screamed when I realised that that boy from my memories had been Ciel. And the dark shadow that killed everyone, everything, without thinking twice had been Sebastian.

Ciel had been tortured there in ways that I had tried to forget. Ciel had been nothing but a toy for those men, who'd killed so many children just because they could. And the hatred that I felt right now had burned inside of him, calling upon a demon more wicked than he could have imagined.

And now I understood that Ciel had been one hundred percent right. What I did not understand, though, was why all those children had to die. I didn't get it at all.

'How I envy them,' the baron said, rambling on like a mad fool with an unhealthy obsession with Ciel. 'A beautiful end, with the cold moon at their deathbeds… Please, make me one of them. Look!' he screamed happy as he threw his hands in the air as if he was a freaking child in Disneyland. 'I've prepared everything just as it was then! The ritual chamber… and the lamps… And finally, my lord—you!'

Well, I bet he would be happy to know that he also had me here. Yay! Geez, this man was fucked up.

Then Ciel shot him, not in his heat, but his stomach, showing no doubt or mercy as he did so. That was the moment I ran downstairs with the intend to wrap my arms around Ciel and to make this wicked world disappear. But then I saw the look in his eyes and I froze, realising that this wasn't something you could make better by embracing him. This wasn't something I could fix. Because Sebastian had already fixed this three years ago. And he had saved Ciel's life at the same time as he'd murdered him. He killed him while saving him.

'Father!' Joker screamed and he managed to break free from Sebastian, running towards Ciel with a knife. But then Sebastian but the knife he'd in his hand to work and as Joker's arm fell on the ground, I looked away.

As Joker fell on the ground screaming, the baron also fell out of his chair screaming: 'It hurts, my lord… It's agony!' He crawled to Ciel, begging him while grabbing his feet. 'Please! If you're going to kill me, please give me the death they had!'

I just stood there, lost in this whole situation. I had no reason to be here, felt like I shouldn't even be here, but I was. I was standing here with no other purpose than seeing things that could not be unseen.

'The death they had?' Ciel said and even though the tone sounded emotionless, there were clearly a lot of emotions hidden in his voice. Ciel pulled his feet free and stamped with his foot on the baron's head. Showing a Ciel that I had never seen before. A strong, but yet so wicked Ciel that looked more demonic than Sebastian. But I knew that he wasn't. Because this wickedness came from fear, agony, pain and tears that a demon such as Sebastian couldn't even dream of.

Ciel pointed his gun at the baron's head again. 'Then you'd best prostrate yourself like the worm you are, and beg a demon,' he said.

Joker crawled towards Ciel, finding difficulty considering he didn't have any arms left anymore. 'Please, don't kill him!' he screamed and I felt my eyes welling up with tears, not sure who I was crying for. 'Whatever else he may be, he's our saviour! Abandoned by our parents, abandoned by the State… He saved us from a daily fear of starvation and death! We have lots of brothers and sisters back at the orphanage who are still young! They can't live without him! So—'

Ciel didn't even turn to look at Joker. 'So that's why you kidnapped all the children?' he asked, the cruel reality behind his words was not only harsh on Joker, but also on me. The first-stringers really did kidnap the children, hadn't they? Dagger, Doll, Beast. All of them.

'To save your own skins, you obeyed him and sacrificed others,' Ciel went on, still refusing to look at Joker. 'But you aren't wrong,' he then said, finally looking at him as the tears streamed down my face and I made soft noises and hiccups that really made me hate myself. 'You fought to protect your world. What's wrong with that? In the end, "justice" is just a bunch of principle made by those with power to suit themselves. No one's looking out for others. If you're careless, you'll be robbed. There are only two kinds of people in this world. Those who steal and those two are stolen from. And today, I steal your futures.' The intense emotions in his eyes seemed to calm and his eyes just became cold and heavy as he said: 'That's all this is.'

Then Joker started to laugh, making Sebastian and Ciel frown. I couldn't do that, though. I was still way too upset to do anything besides drowning in my goddamn tears. Jesus, I really was a cry baby.

'Yeah, you're right,' Joker said laughing. 'But guess what? You too will lose something precious tonight. The troupe is on its way to your mansion.' I noticed that his accent was almost completely gone now. What, had that just been for the show? To give us the idea that he wasn't from around here?

Ciel's calm expression faded and there came a look on his face that I didn't get. He clearly wasn't that concerned about the house staff. Who was it, that he was concerned about? Who was it that could arrive at his mansion anytime, and stay here anyti—

Elizabeth. Oh no.

Joker was still laughing. 'How do you think we captured all those children without getting caught?' he asked. 'All the witnesses disappear. We're pros. If anyone crosses our paths on the job for any reason, we eliminate them.'

I hadn't really believed it until he said it out loud. He, and his whole troupe, weren't only kidnappers. They were murders. Even worse than Ciel or Sebastian. Because Sebastian didn't deny what he was, even if his current act was nothing but that; an act. And Ciel also didn't deny what he was and what he'd done. And he would never kill anyone without a good reason.

But then Ciel calmed down and I frowned, not understanding why he wasn't upset anymore.

'You're the target,' Joker went on, 'I wonder how many will be killed while they search for you?'

'Killed?' Ciel repeated, sounding surprisingly sassy. If it had been any other situation, I would've found it funny. But now wasn't really the time to laugh.

'Yes,' Joker said, clearly enjoying the idea. 'Everyone, even the servants.'

'My servants?' Ciel said, again with that sarcastic tone in his voice.

Sebastian chuckled softly, but I was too confused to know it the chuckle had been justified or not. If it wasn't, I would kick him in the face.

But his laugh made Joker forget all about his happy thoughts. 'What's so funny?' he asked suspicious.

Ciel put his walking stick – great he'd actually brought it with him – on the ground as he said: 'Who do you take them for? Those are Phantomhive servants. They are private soldiers Sebastian and I personally selected. They'll protect Phantomhive secrets and Phantomhive pride from anything. That's what makes a Phantomhive servant.'

I looked as surprised as Joker, only less terrified. Mei-Rin a soldier? But she was a klutz! Well, it did explain why she didn't seem like a maid at all. And why Baldroy couldn't cook. And why Finnian wasn't really the proper gardener.

'Private… soldiers… ?' Joker said, starting to sound worse and worse every second because of the huge amount of blood loss. I mean, his arm just got cut off. He was bleeding like a waterfall.

'Phantomhive is a shadow which exists solely to dispose of Her Majesty's worries,' Ciel explained and I wasn't sure why he was explaining this to a dead man. Well, maybe because he was a dead man that he told him. 'Once you enter our den, you can never return to the light.'

Joker looked like he was giving up, when he stumbled: 'T-they're pros, too! They won't be easy to—'

Sebastian interrupted him, clearly thinking Joker's words weren't worth hearing. 'You're free to believe what you like, but don't forget that I chose them.' He waved with the small and simple knife with which he'd cut Joker's arm off. Then he dropped it and as it fell on the ground, Joker's hope shattered. He lay his hand on the ground, giving up on his own life, but still praying for that of his brothers and sisters.

Then he started to cry and it would've been heart-breaking if my heart hadn't frozen as I stood there, not willing to feel anything. I just wanted to save this children and go home. And I would be living my whole life trying to forget I ever was here. Trying to forget that this evening, this night, ever happened.

'Don't cry,' Ciel said. 'It's pathetic. The world is kind to no one.'

Joker looked at Ciel with a look at I could never understand. '…Smile…' he mumbled desperately, trying to find hope where there was none.

'I only have one name,' Ciel said coldly, 'and it's Ciel Phantomhive.'

Then the sound of a wheelchair alarmed us all. 'Sorry I'm late—I brought more!' Doc said as he wheeled into the room. Then he saw the scene that was happening in front of his eyes and his face changed. From cheerful to surprised. 'Hmm?' he said, clearly not shocked by seeing the baron and Joker like this. He seemed to be more surprised that we were here. 'Black, Smile and Whisper? What are you doing here?'

'St-Stay away, Doc!' Joker said, his voice sounding like he was chocking in his own blood now. 'They're… the Queen's guard dog!'

Well, I wasn't really, but hey, right now it was a bigger compliment then 'the girl who just tagged along and was using sarcasm to mask the fact that she was completely traumatised at this point'.

'Oh?' Doc said, only slightly surprised. I wasn't sure how to feel about him anymore. Suddenly he seemed like one of the villains. 'You're the ones?'

'Run, please!' Joker begged, but I wasn't sure how Doc was supposed to run away since he was in a wheelchair.

Or he could just get out of his wheelchair and walk… wait… what the hell?

'What? Why?' Doc asked as he stood and only now I noticed that there was another cage behind him, a cage that was brought here by children that looked more like zombies. 'You're the kidnappers. I only did what the baron hired me to do.'

Doesn't mean you're legal, buddy.

He walked down, to the altar, way too calm for his own good. 'I have no reason to run.'

Me, Ciel and Sebastian weren't the only ones that were surprised that Doc clearly had legs that worked just fine. Joker looked like this was one of the biggest betrayals of his life. 'Doc… your legs aren't… lame?'

'My legs?' Doc repeated, actually having the guts to sound surprised. 'Oh, yes, they're perfectly fine. I've just been sitting in the chair because kids like you trust me more easily that way.' Then he noticed the baron on the ground and I realised that he might not have noticed him until now. 'Lord Kelvin!' he said, still not really convincingly surprised. He ran towards the baron, but he quickly saw that there was nothing to be done. 'Well, he's done for. That's just cruel. I'd finally found a patron who understood my ideals!'

'Ideals?' Sebastian asked, voicing what everyone was thinking.

'Right, my ideals! I've been working for years to make the perfect prosthetic!' he said as he got up and turned towards us, having the same look on his face that Lord Kelvin had. Like he was a kid in Disneyland. 'And after all my research, at last I arrived at the finest material. Lighter and stronger than wood, and with the unique, sterile beauty of ceramic!' He picked up Joker's fake hand, that was laying on the ground beside him. He stroke it like the hand was his baby. 'The only problem with my material was that it was a touch difficult to gather.'

'Yes,' Sebastian agreed. 'Your prosthetics did have a lovely texture.'

You would know, I thought, you slept with a woman who had a prosthetic leg.

Then a wicked smile appeared on Sebastian lips. 'Almost like bone china.'

'You can appreciate this beauty, Black?!' Doc said, clearly happy to hear that. 'But you're off the mark! I wish you wouldn't rate my work the same as cattle bone chine!'

Ciel and I both made a surprised sound as the puzzles pieces slowly fell into place.

'I do recall you saying you used "special" materials,' Sebastian said.

'That's right! Special materials I can only get here!' Doc said happily.

Then I understood. And the moment I did was the same moment I wish that I didn't. Because I didn't want to know. Didn't want to see. Joker actually touched me with that hand of his!

Ciel then understood as well. 'D-Do you mean…?!'

Doc leaned against one of the cages holding starving, sad children with no hope of life left in their eyes. The only sigh that they were still alive were their beating hearts and slow breaths. 'It saves the trouble of dumping them somewhere. Brilliant recycling, don't you think?'

Since Joker was the stupidest one in the room, he only got it now. He started screaming, but there was no reason to scream. It had already been done. He started to smash what was left of his fake arm against the ground, trying to break it, tear it off of his body.

'See?' Doc said, still perfectly calm. 'Another patient rejecting it.'

Joker realised that it was no use and he finally seemed to realise that everything he had done had been so, so wrong. 'I… can't believe what we've…' He couldn't get any more words out.

Doc waved with Joker's hand, smiling as if this was funny. 'And you were so happy to have this right hand, too!'

'If I'd known… I wouldn't have…' again the words stopped.

Doc didn't understand that. 'You wouldn't have wanted it? Are you sure?'

Joker couldn't react, all energy had left his body. With all the blood that had come out of him, it wasn't more than logical that this was the moment his body tore him down, killing him in the worst moment of his life.

Doc sighed. 'Well, this is the end of my job here.' Then he seemed to gain some energy back. 'Oh, I say!' he turned to Ciel. 'Lord Phantomhive, would you hire me? In fact, introduce me to the Queen!'

Okay, this man was freaking nuts.

'Shut your mouth, you scum,' Ciel said, his eyes looking all wicked and cold again. This time, however, I didn't fear it. I actually wanted to cheer him on.

'Aw, are you another pigheaded type who cares more about process than results? Everyone sings my praises until they know!' he said, as if that was the issue here. This wasn't about prosthetics, dude! This was about murder!

He started to open a cage and grabbed one of the lifeless girls in it, dragging her over the floor as he brought her to the altar. 'But the baron was different. He was highly motivated to seek beauty, and he spared no expense covering my materials and costs! He was a top-class patron.' He put the girl on the altar.

Wait… what was he doing?

Ciel just watched as Doc just went on talking, but he seemed to be shaken when he also realised that Doc was doing something that he shouldn't. 'Making top-class products takes top-class ingredients. It's just common sense, don't you think?'

Ciel started to stumble back and I could almost see the memories burning in his eye as he did, but my mind was already protecting me from such a thing, holding me together with one simple emotion called hate.

Ciel started to shiver and he dropped his gun and his walking stick as his eye twitched and heavy breaths came out of his mouth.

As Doc grabbed a knife and looked at the small girl he'd laid on the altar, he said: 'A cow's bones are fine to use, but a human's bones aren't? Who decided that?'

I walked closer to Ciel, kneeling down to grab the gun that was laying on the ground and standing up again, holding the weapon in my useless hands. I felt Sebastian looking at me with his burning eyes, curious and entertained with all this.

Doc drove the knife into the girl's body before I could do anything, but then Ciel started to lose his mind, he started to scream and cry and I heard him make all kind of sounds that I did not want to hear.

But I wasn't looking at him. Sebastian was taking care of him. I was trying to figure out how a gun worked. Could I just pull the trigger now? Or was there something else I had to do? And how do you shoot straight?

My hands were trembling too much and too many memories were clouding my vision, making me unable to see anything.

'Young master. What is there to fear?'

Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up.

'You're outside the cage now, my lord.'

Die die die die die die die die die.

'Now call my name.'

Kill kill kill kill kill kill.

'Se…bast… Sebastian! Sebastian! Sebastian!'

Snuff out the unclean! Snuff out the unclean! Snuff out the unclean!

'Kill them!'

BANG!

A bullet went straight to Doc's head before Ciel could even finish his order. As Doc fell on the ground, Sebastian took care of Kelvin, who apparently had still been alive, though barely, while carrying Ciel like he had before, like he was a baby. But this time, Ciel's face was buried in his coat, as if he wanted to hide from this world.

Sebastian stared at me with his eyes burning like hellfire as he said: 'It's over.' He narrowed his eyes and I realised that he was looking at my changed features, observing the girl that could have been a demon if only her eyes had been red and her nails had been black.

I was trembling, the rage and hatred inside of me hadn't calmed down yet. Snuff out the unclean! Snuff out the unclean! Snuff out the unclean! Kill them! Kill them! Kill them!

'Burn it,' Ciel said softly and I'd almost missed it because of my boiling rage and anger.

'Would "it" be this mansion, my lord?' Sebastian asked, sounding surprised and only a bit confused.

'Yes,' was Ciel's immediate answer.

The children! my mind said, calming me down only a bit. I walked towards the cages, opening them easily since they weren't locked and tried to get the children out of there, but they refused to move. As if they were dolls trapped inside their own lifeless bodies, waiting for death to take them.

'Young master, I gathered from Her Majesty's letter that our current mission is to find the kidnappers and rescue the children. And the kidnappers are already…'

I grabbed a young boy's hand, but he didn't respond. I gave up. These children might as well be dead. 'Burn it,' I said at the same time Ciel grabbed Sebastian's face and shouted: 'Shut up, shut up! Don't leave anything behind! Burn everything here to ash! Have you forgotten your job?! This is an order!'

I didn't look at Ciel, nor Sebastian. I sat on the stone ground seeing not only everything that had happened tonight, but also three years ago, in front of my eyes and realising that this world was even uglier than Sebastian had said. This world was more demonic than a demon could ever be.

When the fire came, I wasn't surprised, but I didn't move. I did look up when Sebastian said 'yes, my lord' though, but I only gave him a sad smile. 'He didn't order you to save me,' I told him. 'You are under no obligation to do so.'

A polite smile appeared on his face. 'That seems to be the case, indeed,' he said, holding fire in his bare hand and his other hand holding his master – his prey. 'It was nice meeting such an entertaining lady such as yourself, miss Lane. It's a real tragedy that I didn't get a taste of that soul of yours.' And then he vanished, leaving me alone for the fire to consume me.

And I close my eyes as I smiled, knowing that I hadn't made a difference at all. Knowing that, just like Joker, I had died in the worst moment of my life, accomplishing nothing whatsoever. Failing to protect the ones I wanted to protect and failing and being anywhere near a good human being.

But now I at least knew that such a thing as 'a good human being' didn't exist.

XxX

Woah. That got really dark. Sorry about that. It will all be rainbows and butterflies from now on (not). So yeah. I'm again too lazy to do a word for today :s

And… does anyone know what she is yet? I guess it's pretty hard to guess, but it sure as hell was a lot of fun to come up with.

trepidon: thank you so much! Though I do believe sleep is important XD

promocat: yeah… it didn't really get better for her in this chapter either…

Angie120: Thanks! :)

KillerCookies: Thank you so much!

Thanks everyone for reading/reviewing/whatever you can do on this site. Love you all!

XxX