Episode 9-What Jigsaw Sawed
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It was a wet place. And cold. And certainly not number 1331 Wimbleton Apartments or anything of the sort; it was a disgusting, dirty bathroom with dull tiled floors. Not a sound could be heard throughout the entire place and as Freddy's head popped up out of the tub full of water, he shuddered.
"Hello...f-fuck face? Voorhees? The other one whose name I can never remember? Hello..."
"What about Myers? Forgot about him?" Ghostface's voice said clearly throughout the bathroom.
Freddy shrugged as he climbed out of the tub and tried to walk forward; there was a chain around his ankle and a hacksaw sitting on the floor next to it. "Hmm..." her murmured, "pretty kinky..."
Suddenly a crisp, white note hit his hatless head; I was hoping that he would've killed you first, Kruger.
"Ah shut up, hockey puck!" Freddy scoffed and slunk down onto the floor to pout. It was freezing in here now that his sweater and top hat had been taken away from him. "Where are we?"
Suddenly the light came flickering on in the old bathroom and they could all clearly see each other chained up against different walls in the bathroom; everyone seemed alert and aware except Michael who lay seemingly passed out in his corner of the room, his expressionless white mask now dirty and his legendary jumpsuit now ripped in several places.
Jason sighed and scratched his mostly bald head quizzically. What's going on here?
"I don't know," Ghostface whispered as his head darted in every direction, "but I don't think that it's good." he pulled his knees up to his bare and bony chest; his tattered, black robe had been removed but whoever had kidnapped them had allowed him to keep his ghostly mask. On his head was a heavy metal contraption that had a blinking timer on it.
From a small T.V. Screen embedded in the tiled walls, there came a voice, loud, clear and deep. "Welcome gentlemen to my little...fun house." on the screen there appeared a clownish face with red, swirly cheeks and red eyes. Immediately Freddy recognized him.
"What do you want with us, Jigsaw?" Freddy bellowed at the screen as he strained at his chains. Jigsaw laughed at his idiocy and stared at everyone in the room.
"I want to play a little...game-"
"'A little game my ass', you're trying to kill us, aren't you Jiggy?"
Jason: I've already been through my fair share of death, so-
"Quite the contrary, Ghostface...or how does mister Kruger call you? Fuck face? Yes, that's it, fuck face. Now calm down, fuck face. It's a simple game-the game of survival."
In his corner of the room, Michael began to move stiffly and Jigsaw glanced at him and said hurriedly to the others, "Remember that the answer lies in your heart..."
"Wait! What the fuck does that mean?" Freddy asked "It sounds like something from a Disney movie or something-"
Jigsaw ignored his question and said loftily, "And it's also worth mentioning Ghostface, that the metal contraption that is firmly clasped onto your head is rigged to crush your skull in...oh, give or take an hour or so. And Myers' blood has been introduced to a deadly poison that will destroy him within the next half hour-just thought I should mention it-and the rest of you are breathing in a toxic nerve gas that should kill you in the next twenty minutes. So yeah...enjoy those perks. Jigsaw out" and the T.V. Screen became blank.
Michael groggily raised his head and looked around, utterly perplexed. Hey...what's this place? I don't remember our bathroom ever being so big...
Jason: That's because it's not our bathroom, retard. It's Jigsaw's. He's got us in a trap and now Freddy's being a pussy about it and-
"Shut your mouth you pansy-assed motherfucker! I ain't trying to chicken out or nothing...although that might seem like a sensible thing to do at this point...hell no! I'm thinking of a way to get outta here."
"Then stop cussing Voorhees out and think of a way out, you spineless idiot!" Ghostface howled at him as he threw a loose bit of tile at Freddy.
The tile hit Freddy in the side of his face and Michael began to make a sound that, everyone supposed, was the equivalent of childish laughter. "Okay," Freddy said as he rose to his feet shakily, "you wanna be a bitch about it like always, Ghostface? Well fine! Then you can think of a way to get out on your own!"
Ghostface stopped laughing hysterically and Freddy was quite sure that under his mask, his smile faded. He stood up as well, though he didn't look all that intimidating. Although he was a few centimeters taller than Freddy, he wasn't as thick. "I'm not a bitch!"
Jason: I'd beg to differ...
Michael: Oh would you just shut the hell up for once, Voorhees?
Jason seemed surprised that Michael had actually insulted him, the only other non-talking slasher in the whole room. He glared at him. You know Michel, I'm starting to think that Ghostface isn't the only bitch in this room-
Michael rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. FUCK YOU! What the hell is wrong with all of you people? God, how did we end up here in the first place? This isn't where I wanted to be...
Everyone stopped fighting and stared at each other. Freddy looked ashamed and sat down and Ghostface, though resentfully, did the same. Ghostface hated to give up on a fight.
"I don't know. It all seems like something so stupid...one second I was living on Elm Street, and now I'm not."
"Yeah well...at least your movie had a plot; mine sure as hell didn't." Ghostface murmured as he looked up at the ceiling. In his head he was slowly going over the clue that Jigsaw had said...the answer lies in your heart...and he had said it hurriedly, just as Michael had woken up. He gasped stared at the saw that lie beside Freddy.
"H-hey? Kruger?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah. What's wrong Ghostface?" Freddy said as his mind snapped back into the present.
Ghostface pointed to the saw and said, "Hey toss me that saw."
Freddy stared at him questioningly and clutched the saw close to his burnt and charred chest. "Why?"
"Because," he said exasperatedly, "haven't you ever seen...oh, never mind. Just do it. I know that if I can saw off my foot then-"
"Let Voorhees do it. He's already 80% zombie anyway; even his neck has stitches on it!" Freddy said, then he turned to Jason, "Whadda say, Voorhees? If you can saw off your foot then we can-"
Jason stared at him miraculously and shook his head. Fuck no! What about Michael's clue...the answer lies in your heart. How do we know that it isn't him that Jigsaw wants to lose a foot?
Michael shrugged. Look around you, Voorhees. That clue isn't legit. There are no hearts and-
"Pull off your jumpsuit, Myers." Ghostface instructed. Everyone else stared at him and Freddy laughed wickedly.
"Ha! How gay!"
"No, no. It's not that. It's just that...what if the heart's under Myers' jumpsuit-"
Jason: No, I'm pretty sure that it's just straight up raging homosexual.
"But if Michael is so innocent then why does he look so terrified? He's hiding something." Ghostface pointed out. It was true that Michael's eyes had become wide and almost knowing.
He shook his head and quickly scratched onto a piece of paper, Yeah I look scared because I can tell that you'd get a real kick out of seeing my in my underwear...I'm scared that you might rape me or something.
Freddy's smile faded and he studied Michael's eyes as well. "Now that I think about it, you do look like you're hiding something, Myers. Go ahead, take it off. But only to the waist, we don't want to see all of that."
Michael sighed and shrugged. Fine! Fine! If it'll give you one moment's enjoyment then fine!
Hesitantly Michael removed his jumpsuit and revealed a bloody heart carved into his flesh, just above his abdomen. He swallowed and traced his finger around it as if mesmerized and swallowed.
Told you! Jason wrote. Freddy smiled and threw the hacksaw at Michael. It clattered to the floor next to his bare feet.
"Go ahead Myers. Make my day."
Michael shook his head. No. It's not my job...I just know it. Like you said, Voorhees is better equipped for sawing through stuff, not me. Just cut a few stitches then bam!
"Then what did the clue mean, genius? God, Myers I swear. If you don't get on it and-"
"Very good gentlemen you have solved the first clue." Jigsaw said as he popped up on the T.V. Screen again.
Jason: So...what does that mean? What do we have to do now?
Jigsaw laughed and the T.V. Screen was engulfed in a wave of static for a second, but it quickly subsided. "You already know what to do, Jason. You may not be as stupid as people make you out to be...yes, you know what to do. Just remember that the answer lies in your heart..."
As the T.V. Tuned out again Ghostface, who had managed to dig up an even bigger, heaver piece of tile than he had thrown at Freddy launched it at Michael's head. It shattered and for a second Myers just stood there but then dropped onto the cold bathroom floor in a heap.
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Jason staggered back into his corner and gasped as Michael lay on the ground with his eyes closed and his now bare chest taking heaving, ragged breaths. Wh-why did you do that, fuck face?
"Because," Ghostface explained, "now that Myers is knocked out, then you an saw off your foot, take your machete, cut open his stomach where the heart is carved and then get the key!"
What key, you fucktard?
Freddy's head snapped in Ghostface's direction as he began to understand what was happening. "It's obvious! Now here-" he tossed Jason the saw, "-just cut the stitches!"
What...but I-
"Please Voorhees! Please! It's our only way out of here!" Ghostface said as he shifted the heavy metal contraption that rested heavily on his scrawny shoulders. He now had forty minutes blinking on the timer. Jason took the saw with shaky hands.
Not only would he have to kill the one person that he had grown closest to-or felt just a strong hatred towards and not a biting murderous feeling-in the house, but he would have to lose a foot...again. Oh well, Michael's loss was his gain. Taking a deep breath, he gripped his bare, black polished foot, and began sawing.
Blood poured from the wound and he grimaced under his mask. As the saw hit bone, be began to let out muffed screams and he couldn't help but let his eyes water just a little. Freddy and Ghostface watched in a fascinated way until Ghostface leaned over and puked, then faced the wall.
Finally, once his foot had been successfully sawed off and he was nearly on the ground, writhing in pain. Freddy chuckled weakly. "C'mon...V-Voorhees...go cut open Michael-"
"No! Please don't! I'd rather die than watch you cut that bastard open...can't we just let it be?"
Jason glared at him and firmly shook his head; Fuck no! I just s...sawed my fucking foot off and now you wanna quit? Hell no, Myers' ass is grass...
As Jason crawled over to Michael the T.V. Switched on again and Jigsaw was on the screen, eagerly watching the blood and gore. When Jason reached Michael's unconscious body and swallowed. With little emotion at all in his eyes, he unsheathed his precious machete and with careful precision aimed at the heart scar on his abdomen.
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When it was all over and done with, Michael was fully conscious and in a fetal position with his jumpsuit completely removed so that his blood wouldn't stain it. But Jason had gotten the illusive key and was currently jamming it into Michael's shackles.
Michael: Well? Does It fit? Please tell me it fits, you stupid fuuuuuuuckk...jeez, I don't feel good.
Jason hesitated before writing his answer down. Uh...no. It's not fitting right. Sorry Myers. Guess we degutted you for nothing, huh?
Michael stared at him and got out his kitchen knife. You dumn motherfucker! I swear that I'll...oh jeez...I don't feel so good...
"Ah shut up you stupid...fuck..." Freddy said as his voice suddenly became tired sounding. Then he remembered Jigsaw's words-And it's also worth mentioning Ghostface, that the metal contraption that is firmly clasped onto your head is rigged to crush your skull in...oh, give or take an hour or so. And Myers' blood has been introduced to a deadly poison that will destroy him within the next half hour-just thought I should mention it-and the rest of you are breathing in a toxic nerve gas that should kill you in the next twenty minutes.
"Ghostface tried to get a good look at the timer on his contraption but was unable to do so. "Crap...I can't see...how many more minutes do I have left?"
On the T.V. Screen Jigsaw laughed. "Thirty...you have thirty minutes left. And Michael has fifteen, and Freddy and Jason have ten...huh. Doesn't seem like the math is right on that, does it? Guess I could've planned that out a little better...oh well, you four best say your goodbyes because there's no way that you'll be able to cheat your way out of this one, and there isn't anymore time to solve it."
"Please give us another clue, Jigsaw. You know how stupid we are. Just please, one more clue." Freddy begged the screen. Jigsaw seemed amused.
"Very well then, Kruger. I'll give you your next clue. You must look deep inside yourselves in order to truly discover why you are here. For it is only by doing that that you may find true redemption and learn to forgive each other."
Michael: What kind of punk ass clue is that?
"It means think back to when I captured you," Jigsaw said, now becoming flustered, "think back to all the sins that you've committed in your life and why you committed them. Only then will I consider letting you go. Now you better get on it because time's running short..."
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They all stared at each other as the T.V. Screen went blank again. Jason looked down at the disgusting bathroom floor. What does that mean?
Michael: It's quite obvious-Jigsaw wants us to think back at everything that we did wrong in our lives and think of how we could've done it differently or correct it. Duh.
"Fine Myers," Ghostface hissed, "if it's so easy and you're so smart then what did you do wrong?"
Well, he wrote as his eyes glazed over and he began to think back, I suppose it all started going awry when I tried killing my niece, Jamie. She got away twice and well...things sort of started to spiral out of control from there.
"Yeah well I know what I did wrong. I didn't kill that bitch Sidney Prescott. If I would of just tried a little harder...ah, fuck it." Ghostface said, heaving a sad sigh.
"I didn't do anything wrong. I know that." Freddy said clearly so that everyone could hear him, "I don't deserve to be here."
Jason: Yeah, you didn't do anything, especially that time when you tricked me out of Camp Crystal Lake and made me kill your kids...
"That was your fault for believing me in the first place!"
Yeah, because you made me think that it was my mother talking instead of your sorry ass. Face it Kruger. You're scared of me.
The whole room was silent as they stared from Freddy to Jason. It was common knowledge that the two had never gotten along, but neither had quite divulged the reason until now. The both glared at each other and Jason threw a note at Freddy's head, saying what everyone else had been afraid to mention; You're still just angry because I beat your sorry ass, aren't you Kruger?
"Hell no! I'm just sorry that...well I...you're nothing but a fucking retard if you think that you beat me, Voorhees!"
Michael: Well he did sort of cut your head off.
"Shut up Myers! You're not in this!" Freddy yelled at him. Then he threw the note on the ground and screamed up at the T.V. Screen, "What about you Jigsaw? Are you enjoying this?"
The screen flickered on and Jigsaw's puppet face came on it again and he laughed coldly. "Why yes. I am. But you must understand that I didn't put you in this death trap to see another sequel to Freddy vs. Jason-the first one was bad enough."
"Then why are we here? Please give us another clue!" Ghostface said to the T.V. Jigsaw looked around the room at the hopeless slashers and sighed.
"Okay, fine. Ghostface. You like to talk, don't you?"
"Uhh...yeah, I guess-"
"You can't guess. You have to know. I'll repeat the question; you like to talk, don't you Ghostface?"
"Yeah, I think so!" Ghostface repeated slowly, to make sure that Jigsaw comprehended what he was saying.
"Oh fuck this! None of you deserve to get out of here. I mean...if you can't even solve that clue then...oh yeah, and Voorhees. Give Michael back his key so that he can unlock his chains and the two of you can leave if you please. I don't think that it would be exactly safe to leave Jason unchained and Freddy defenseless."
Michael snatched the key away from Jason and proceeded to unlock his chains then he and Jason walked out of the room, without so much of a second glance at their roommates. Freddy cursed and found a pipe and hurled it at the door as they walked out, though Jason had to hold on to Michael for support since he was missing his foot.
"Son of a motherfucking bitch! God damn it!" he screamed as Ghostface stared at him and the T.V. Screen went blank again.
"Kruger calm down. God, you sure do have one hell of a temper, don't you?" Ghostface asked as he hugged his knees again. Freddy glared at him.
"Shut the fuck up for once fuck face! Please! God, no wonder why no one likes you, you're the biggest bitch that I've ever met!"
"Jeez...sorry. I just wanted to help, but-"
"I don't need your motherfucking help, you stupid fuck. I can do it on my own!"
Ghostface shrugged. "I sure hope so because I'm getting out of here right now..." and before Freddy could ask what he was talking about, Ghostface had lifted his mask to reveal his mouth, pressed his finger in the back of his throat and was making himself vomit.
"Ugh! What the hell-"
"S-shut up, Kruger! I know what I'm doing!" Ghostface cried as he began dry heaving. "Ugh...maybe I don't..."
"No really, what the hell are you doing?"
"Well," Ghostface said as he spat out a mouthful of puke, "Jigsaw asked me if I liked to talk and I get it...the key has to me in my throat or mouth or something-" he vomited again, this time spitting up a key.
Picking it up with fumbling fingers, he jammed the key in the lock on his chains but sighed in exasperation when it didn't unlock. "Oh God...what did I do wrong, dear God?! I always get the wrong end of the deal...I always...damn!" and he went to throw the key across the room but Freddy yelled at him.
"Stop! Don't you dare! That's our only hope out! Give me the key!"
Ghostface shook his head and stared at the gross key. "B-but...what if you get free and..."
"And?"
He swallowed. "And I die?"
Freddy rolled his eyes. "So your gonna screw us both? C'mon I p-p...ugh...what's the word?"
"Promise?" Ghostface asked hopefully.
"Yeah. I promise that I'll pay you back. Please, I only have a few minutes left by now...any second now-"
"Okay, okay," Ghostface murmured as he tossed the key at Freddy, "just take it."
As Freddy forced the key in the lock he laughed victoriously as the chains came undone and he got up. Jigsaw appeared on the T.V. Then and with his small, puppet hands began clapping.
"Very good, mister Kruger. It appears that you're free. You may go to your apartment now, number 1331."
"Wait," Ghostface asked as he desperately tried to pull the skull-crushing mechanism from his head, "how do you know where we live?"
"It's quite simple; I live on the floor below you assholes. You and Myers and Voorhees and not to mention Kruger's big mouth always keep me awake at night with your shenanigans and whatnot...so I figured that if I locked you in an old bathroom like I do with everyone else I don't like, then you would just shut up. Unfortunately it didn't work. It only made you all louder."
Freddy scratched his bald head. "So if I promise that me and the others will try and keep it down, we can go?"
"I don't see why not." Jigsaw said, shrugging. He pressed a button, releasing the hold of the skull-crushing mechanism on Ghostface's head.
"Thanks," Ghostface said as he rubbed his shoulders where the contraption had been resting, "that thing is really uncomfortable."
"No prob. Just keep your voices down from now on, okay?"
They both nodded and walked out of the room. "Jeez," Freddy said as he and Ghostface walked up the stairs to their apartment, "if he wanted us to keep it down, he should have just said something instead of nearly killing us-"
"Would you have listened to him, Kruger?" Ghostface asked as tiredly stumbled up the flights and flights of stairs.
Freddy smiled. "No. Probably not."