Hey hey, haven't updated for a while, well, I have, but I'm updating now. So…yay!

I have so much trouble writing! Every chapter gets harder! It's quite frustrating, I must say.

Anyhow, enjoy chapter 47 everyone! And remember that I still don't own Kuroshitsuji!

XxX

Chapter 47

I was sitting next to Undertaker, who was driving his hearse. Ciel refused to sit next to him and I refused to sit anywhere near Grell – especially when Sebastian was in the same room – so I sat next to the Undertaker. I have to admit, I was quite surprised that weirdo could drive. And that he could see anything with all that hair in his face.

'Thank you, by the way,' I said after a while.

'For what, exactly?' he asked.

I sighed. 'Well, you made sure that Ciel took me with him. Again. And I know that's probably because I'm special and what not, but I appreciate it.'

'Oh, no,' Undertaker said. 'I just figured that you wanted to come along, so I just said something to the earl. Never thought he would listen.' He chuckled.

I looked at him surprised. Huh. First strange creature that didn't seem to think that I was some sort of Frankenstein. Or Jesus. Then I noticed that the car had stopped and as I looked through the front window, I saw some sort of castle wall. It looked like it belonged to a building that wasn't there anymore. It was just a wall. With an entrance. 'What... did we arrive at the location?' I asked, still not quite sure where or what 'the location' was.

The only answer I got was another of Undertaker's creepy laughs. Then he rolled his window down and I saw a strangely dressed woman. She kind of looked like a nun, but her uniform was dark blue with red. Strange. I thought one of the things about nuns was that colour – fashion – didn't matter. That was why they usually wore black and white, right?

'I've come to deliver the coffin you ordered,' Undertaker said and I wasn't sure if the nun would trust the man if he spoke like that.

'Coffin, sir?' the nun said, clearly not trusting the man. 'No one informed me of this…'

Undertaker bit on his lower lip to hide his smile and he made a movement with his arm, directing me to make sure that I wasn't seen, so I leaned forward, making the nun unable to see me even if she stared directly into the window, which she did not. Then he started to look for something in the car, without exactly looking for anything. 'I have the order right here… Hmm… where did I put it?... Here? No… Here?' That was the moment that he started to look nervous as he threw a few things out of the window while looking. One of those was a bible.

I rolled my eyes. Geez. Subtlety.

The nun saw it and fell for it, though. 'All right… Please come in, then.' I couldn't see it, but I knew she was talking to me when she said: 'And you can come too, if you want.'

I sat up and looked her into the eyes. 'Are you serious?' I asked, but the moment I saw her face I froze. Perfect white skin. Purple eyes. She could've been Ash's sister for all I knew.

Undertaker chuckled as he said: 'I have a few more guests in the back.'

The nun smiled kindly. 'Ah, well, they are welcome, too.'

Sebastian apparently heard that, because Grell, Ciel and himself got out only seconds later. So I got out of the car too.

The Undertaker laughed once more. 'Then I'll be off. Since I've done what I came for.'

'I understand,' the nun said, nodding. I gave Sebastian a look, trying to communicate with him that that nun was suspicious, but he just smiled a little devious smile. 'May your soul be cleansed.'

I believe me and Ciel both cringed as we heard that.

We carried the coffin on a lifting trolley and followed the nun passed the gate. There was woods and a path and at the end something that looked like a church. Or a convent. Or both. It was quite big.

'Hey,' Ciel hissed softly, so that the nun wouldn't hear. 'I thought it was supposed to be difficult to get in here.' It clearly wasn't a question for me, even though he looked at me while asking the question. Well, I was the one that walked next to him. Sebastian and Grell walked behind us. I was actually impressed at how well Grell was behaving himself.

'Yes,' Sebastian answered, forcing himself between me and Ciel so he could talk to his young master, 'I was under that impression…'

We saw two nuns and a monk leaving the church/convent/thing, carrying things on their shoulders. They greeted us with a smile and a small bow. They looked really friendly. But looks had deceived me before.

'Perfect smiles,' Ciel said and he sounded almost disgusted.

Sebastian put on the perfect smile that Ciel seemed to detest so much. 'Shouldn't that be educational for you, young master, since you've forgotten how to smile?' he asked teasingly.

I gave him a glare, but he wasn't looking at me.

'Don't be dull,' Ciel ordered. 'Those smiles are fake.'

Ah. So I was right. Their looks had deceived me again.

We entered the building in what seemed to be the church-part. It wasn't really that impressive, but the windows were pretty. You could hear every step echo through the church and it made me shiver. This didn't feel right.

Then Ciel suddenly froze and I followed his gaze, only to freeze as well when I saw it. One of the windows had the same symbol as the scar me and Ciel both had. Even though we'd seen it, Sebastian hadn't caught on yet. Or maybe he was just bullying us. I wasn't sure. But he stood between me and Ciel and leaned in, so that his mouth was just above Ciel's ear. 'Young master?' he asked.

Then children laughter filled the church. From the back of the church came three little boys in even stranger outfits. It looked kind of cold and kind of stupid. 'Good evening!' they said politely, running towards us. Strange. I thought running in church wasn't allowed. This really didn't seem like a catholic organisation.

'Another wonderful day today, wasn't it?' one of the boys asked.

Grell put one of his hands on his hip and looked at the boys with a look that I couldn't trust. 'Well, aren't you cute? I don't really like kids, though.'

Well, he shouldn't have said that, because now he had the boys' attention. They ran towards him and one of them, the one with the Harry Potter-glasses, said: 'Hello, unclean one! You're impure through and through, I see.'

'What?' Grell said, insulted. His voice sounded a bit strange because of the huge amount of drama in his voice.

'Hmm?' another boy said. 'What's the matter, unclean one? Are you ill?'

Grell smacked the boy on his head, making me sigh. Geez, that guy… 'You little brat! Who are you calling "unclean"?!'

Then the boy started to scream. 'Woah! An unclean one touched me!'

'You need to be cleansed!' the other two screamed while running off to where they came from.

Grell reached out his arms, almost as if he was ready to kill the boys. 'Get back here!'

Another nun walked out of the door where the children had fled to. She had beautiful eyes and brown hair, but something about her seemed off. She giggled warmly, almost like a mother. 'Everyone over a certain age is called "unclean",' she explained, mashing up my thoughts about what 'unclean' meant. Then she looked over at me, Ciel and Sebastian. 'I see from your clothing that you're new. Don't worry. If you study the teachings of our leader, your body will be cleansed.'

'I say!' Ciel said, clearly still upset about the fact that the symbol he knew so well was there, in the window. 'Is this place—'

Sebastian stopped his young master from continuing from whatever he was going to say. 'Unclean?' he repeated. 'A funny thing to say.' He started to walk over to the nun and the tone in his voice changed. I knew that tone all too well. Oh no. Please. Not in front of my eyes…

'I can't believe a beautiful lady like yourself is impure,' he said, slowly coming closer and closer. And farther and farther away from me.

He reached the nun and she pressed her back against the door as he walked even closer and even from all the way here I could she her blush. Please stop, please stop, please stop…

'I don't know anything about your sect yet. Would you mind telling me?' Sebastian said, slowly tilting his head to the side. Even though I couldn't see his face, I knew what kind of face he was making. I knew everything. He had seduced me so many times, had showed me his different expressions. Even if he tried to be a secret for everyone, I knew at least a little bit of him. And even though I liked to think that I was the only one, I knew I wasn't.

'All right,' the nun said almost immediately, clearly not as pure as a nun should be. Geez, she was basically throwing herself at him. 'But then why did you come here?'

Sebastian smacked his hand against the door, right next to the nun's head and she squealed a scared sound. Sebastian brought his face closer to hers and I knew he did that so that she would smell her breath, that smelled sweet and soft and tempting… 'A bug,' he said softly, the act started to change in something that I hadn't seen before. He wasn't just teasing this nun like he was teasing me. He wanted a result. And he would get it. He straightened himself again, blowing the 'bug' away. 'You'll tell me, won't you?'

As she started to breathe strange, Sebastian reached towards her with his hands.

And then I stood next to them, grabbing his wrist and holding it still. I wasn't sure if he was trying or not, but it was surprisingly easily to stop his hand from moving. He looked at me with a strange look on his face, but he didn't look surprised.

I managed to put on a smile and turned towards the maid, making my voice as sweet and tempting as I could, trying to get the same effect I seemed to have on people when I sang. 'I'm sorry, but I believe we all have questions.'

XxX

'The Doomsday Books of those who have lived a long time are impure. Our leader cleanses the unclean passages,' the nun explained. We were sitting in a shed just outside the church and it smelled awful in here. But I didn't complain, though. I was still quite proud that I managed to prevent Sebastian from sleeping with some lady he barely knew. Again. 'And we're told that not only the past, but the future is recorded there.'

'The future, eh?' Sebastian said, sounding cold now that he got what he wanted.

'Yes,' the nun said, nodding. 'But the only ones who are allowed to hear it are the chosen children of the heavenly choir.'

Ciel crossed his arms. 'The heavenly choir?' he repeated, sounding cynical. 'What, do they sing hymns?'

The nun closed her eyes and smiled a kind smile. 'I believe "sing" may not be the right word… But I hear beautiful voiced from our leader's bedchamber… It's always a girl's voice, though. And only young boys are allowed in the heavenly choir. If girls were also allowed, the choir wouldn't be clean anymore.'

XxX

We moved to another part of the building, the convent part. You had a hallway which had a lot of windows without glass, making it feel like you were outside. Smelling the night made me relax a bit, but I still felt like punching someone.

'If only young boys are chosen for the heavenly choir, that means you are the only one who can get close to their leader,' Sebastian reasoned, completely ignoring me as he had been for several minutes.

'Rubbish!' Grell said, drawing the attention to him. He was wearing the same uniform as those boys back in the church had been wearing but it was also clearly the same size. Which looked horrible. 'I could easily get into the heavenly choir!' I could hear Ciel make a disgusted sound. 'Well? How do I look?' Grell asked, posing.

Then I heard a child cry and I noticed a child standing behind Grell. 'Wah! You'll make me impure!' he cried and I sighed walking over to the child, who was only wearing underpants. I lifted the boy and wiped his tears away. 'Now, now,' I said, trying to comfort him. 'Did that mean unclean man do something nasty to you?' The boy nodded and I shook my head. 'Aw, how awful. Here, I shall bring you to someone who can help you. But I need your help okay?'

The boy nodded again. I was actually pretty impressed by the fact that he let me touch him. I had thought he would have called me unclean as well.

'You need to guide me. Can you do that?' I asked him sweetly.

He nodded again.

I gave him another little smile. 'You're not scared of me touching you? You don't think I'm unclean?'

The boy shook his head and it was so cute that my heart almost melted.

Or it did. I wasn't sure. I guess my heart had already given up after all those Sebastian-attacks. 'Okay then. Where do I need to go?'

Then it became silent and a voice seeped through the night and it had something awfully creepy. The strangest thing was that it sounded almost familiar.

'Oh!' the boy said. 'It's time for our leader's cleansing ceremony!' He sounded like it was Christmas.

'Cleansing?' Grell said, clearly not buying that crap.

I stood there frozen, listening to the voices as I tried to think. Why did they sound so familiar?

'I sounds familiar,' Sebastian said, looking at me. Then he narrowed his eyes. 'Way too familiar.'

'What is it?' Ciel said, frowning.

Sebastian kept looking at me with narrowed eyes. 'Oh, I just smelled a rotten apple fallen from a tree, that's all.'

XxX

We walked towards the church-part of the building and sat down in the back of the place, watching as the voices sang, but no singer was seen. I sat next to Ciel, next to him sat Sebastian and next to Sebastian said Grell, who was holding onto Sebastian arm like it was his to take.

Then someone only dressed in white and red, his face hidden away with his hood, walked up to the stage (I guessed it had some sort of church-name as well, but I didn't know that). 'Here, tonight, the sinful unclean shall be made pure,' he said and his voice was familiar as well.

They brought two other people on to the stage and stripped them naked. Both of them had a giant mark on their backs and I hoped that Ciel's wasn't as big, because it looked quite unsettling. The two humans, a man and a woman, sat down on the ground, kneeling down for the leader as another man, a monk, it would seem, brought two books to the man in white and red.

'Are those Cinematic Records?' Sebastian asked.

'Too far away to tell,' Grell said, resting his head on Sebastian's shoulder, making me bit my lip and clench my hands into fists.

Ciel noticed it, because he gave me a frowning look. My answer to his glare as a shrug and then he surprised me by taking one on my fists and relaxing it, holding my hand as if he needed the support just as much as I did.

'I shall read the Doomsday Books of these impure, lost children,' the man in red and white said and just as I realised why the singing voice sounded so familiar, I also realised why his voice sounded so familiar.

Ash. And… and me.

You always hear your voice different than others hear it. That was why it had taken me this long. Sebastian had probably figured it out the moment he heard the song. I looked over at him, but he wasn't looking at me. Damn it. Why is he always looking at me when I look at him except when I need him to look at me?

'Jill Peasent,' is the first name the man that sounded like Ash read. 'The second daughter of a farmer, she conceived a child at the age of fifteen.'

The woman started to cry as the man in red and white opened the other book. 'Thomas Atkins,' he said. 'No especially evil deeds, but he has spent his life meaninglessly. That is a grave sin.' Then the two just started to twitch and I saw a strange, black aura coming out of them and I had to look away. Everyone on the church was praying, not thinking this was bad of strange at all. And there were young people here too.

Finally, finally, Sebastian looked at me. He gave me a look that said: You can see it too, can't you?

I nodded. I knew he meant the black aura.

Then one of the windows started to glow, the one with the picture of an angel and Ciel and I both made a surprised sound at the same time. The church filled itself with heavenly light.

'Snuff out the unworthy. Snuff out the unnecessary. Snuff out the unfruitful. Snuff out the unclean!' the man that sounded so much like Ash shouted and I started to tremble.

Too close to the sun, too close to the sun, too close to the sun.

I couldn't hear anything, I just saw the face of the woman who saved my life, reaching towards it, grasping her beauty and pureness.

'Clarissa.'

This wasn't pure. This was something that was once pure. This was a rotten apple from the wrong side of the tree.

'Clarissa.'

This was nothingness. This was the dream, the goal of a madman trying to accomplish something that he could not. Because a fallen apple rots and can bear any other fruits.

'Clarissa!'

I turned my face to look into one deep blue eye. 'Snuff out the unclean.'

Ciel looked seriously frightened now. 'What did you just say?' he asked slowly. He was sitting on his knees on the bench, making him look much bigger than I was. He had one hand on my shoulder.

'Eh?' I said, pulling my eyebrows up. 'I didn't say anything.' I noticed the church was empty, though. 'Is it done? Did I miss it? What happened? Did I fall asleep?'

Ciel frowned and opened his mouth to say something when Grell said: 'Something's off. Those books weren't Cinematic Records.'

Ciel turned his head to the reaper, but remained in the same position with his hand still on my shoulder. I noticed the bench was shaking. Why was the bench shaking? 'Then he doesn't have the power to see the past?' Ciel asked Grell.

He couldn't answer, because something made a strange noise. What was it? Like a wild animal…

Five eyes were looking at me now and I wasn't sure why.

Ciel put his other hand on my head. 'Calm down, Clarissa. It's over. For now.'

Then I realised that I was the one making strange noises. I was the one that was shaking. And I was the one who noticed the doors opened and three nuns came into the church. 'Ah, you're still here!' one of them said, making all of us turn their heads towards them. I didn't look at them, though, I stared up at Ciel's chin. He had a nice chin.

'The heavens have smiled upon you!' she continued. 'Come with us, we can help you.' But the look in her eyes told me that whatever she was going to do, she would enjoy it way more than we would.

XxX

End of the chapter! Probably a lot of typos, because my mind is a big foggy for some reason.

Review Reactions:

sydviscious1: yeah, I know, I make a lot of typos. I've already said this, but I will go and correct them once I'm at chapter 50. And I probably won't do a season two, not because I don't want to, but because the season two of the show is kind of hard to do after the ending I have in mind… so yeah.

KuroMoochj: Thanks you! And there's no such thing as fangirling too much ;)

BlueFireIsIceCold: Yeah, it is a hilarious scene. But I felt like him sleeping with another woman once was bad enough. I don't think Clarissa is a girl that would keep chasing a guy that has slept with two woman because he had to gain information. She does have some dignity, even if very little.

Aizama Maiko: Thanks, and yeah, she should just punch him in the face! Ha ha, don't know if I can get her to do that though… he does have a very pretty face… would be a shame to beat it up…

Sliver Moon Fairie: Nope. He doesn't really care about anything. Well, he cares about her, but not about what she is.

jessyo: ha ha, thanks! I never saw myself as funny, so this is actually a bit of a surprise-compliment!

Thanks for reading everyone! See you next chapter!

XxX