Episode 12-Why Guys Shouldn't Play With Dolls

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"So...been pretty quiet lately, huh?" Ghostface asked as he texted on his cell phone. Freddy, Michael and Jason all sighed and looked up to the ceiling.

Michael: You know something? I almost mis Jason X...although I can't seem to remember what happened those few days. Odd isn't it?

Jason: Not really. You had a scalpel stabbed in your eye. You were pretty much out that whole time. You do remember that, don't you?

Michael shrugged and fingered his knife lazily. Not really.

"Yeah well I do. And we're never opening that door again, I'll tell you that much." Freddy muttered as he just sat there watching VH1's The Drug Years. God he loved hippie girls. Ghostface snatched the remote away.

"I don't like this show-"

Jason: Is it because you know that you're selling that stuff to people?

Michael smiled under his mask. Ha...fuck face is breeding hippies!

"I don't sell LSD you idiots. I sell crack or weed...I really don't care. As long as I make money and get a buzz."

"Oh you're about to get more than a buzz alright!" Freddy yelled as he tried to snatch the remote from Ghostface. "Motherfucker! Give me the-"

Suddenly the whole glass balcony door gave way and from outside there came the screeching sound of a car driving away. All of them ducked under the sofa. After a few seconds, Freddy tentatively whispered, "Jason should go. He's the strongest-"

You asshole! That's what you said last time!

"Yeah but you won, didn't you?" Ghostface hissed as he nudged Jason's shoulder. "Go!"

Michael lowered his head and cursed silently. Shit! I just finished taping it together last night!

"Well evidently you didn't do a good job." Freddy commented as Jason slowly rose to his feet. Like so many times before Jason made his way over to the door, stepped over the shattered glass and went out onto the balcony. The other three raised their head.

"W-what is it, hockey puck?" Freddy asked as he got to his feet as well and stepped over the couch.

Jason shrugged. There's nothing here...not even a note.

Ghostface leaped over the couch and began exploring the glass. After a few seconds he jumped back and yelled. "What the fuck is that?"

Now Michael joined him and picked up something that seemed to be a small person-a doll. It had a horribly charred face and gross staples covered its scalp, keeping its face stitched together. The others looked at it with repulsion on their faces but Michael smiled.

It's a doll...

"Yeah no shit Sherlock. But...I dunno...I think that we shouldn't keep it. It seems so vaguely familiar, doesn't it?" Freddy said as he poked the doll's face with one of his clawed fingers.

Ghostface stared at it then he reached around the doll's back and pulled a string."Hi, I'm Chuckie. Wanna play?" the doll said in an annoyingly squeaky childlike voice.

Jason came back in holding a little slip of paper. It doesn't say much; 'He's your problem now'.

Michael clutched the doll to his chest. I'm keeping it.

They all stared at him oddly. Finally Freddy shrugged and said, "Don't see why you would want a doll anyways. But I can't possibly foresee how this would be a bad idea-"

Jason rolled his eyes and shoved a note in his face; I do.

Ghostface nodded and pointed to the doll's tarnished face. "Yeah. I mean just look at the damn thing! It can't be good news, no fucking way."

Michael just shrugged and walked back over to the couch. The vote's a tie. So if one bad thing happens that you can all directly trace back to the doll then fine. I'll get rid of him.

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The very next morning everyone was awoken at 3 in the morning by Ghostface's cell phone. Its ring tone rang out clearly throughout the one-roomed apartment;

If you're going to San Fransisco

Be sure to wear flowers in your hair

If you're going to San Fransisco

You're gonna meet some gentle people there...

Ghostface cursed loudly and fumbled to find his phone. After another minute of this Freddy grabbed him by the throat. "Where the hell is your cell, fuck face?"

Ghostface gasped and whispered, "In my shirt...please be quiet, the others are trying to sleep."

Freddy looked at him miraculously in the dark. After one more brief second of this he looked around on the floor, which is where Ghostface and Jason slept. "Where's your shirt? And why aren't you wearing it?"

Ghostface laughed in an stoned way. "I don't know."

"You are gonna die in about two seconds if you don't find your shirt-"

"Okay, okay," he muttered as he got down on all fours and began searching under the couch. The phone had stopped ringing by now but everyone was up all the same. Jason rose from his sleeping place and scratched his head tiredly.

What's going on? Has Michael's doll unleashed Pinhead's cube again?

Suddenly from over by the sink there came the frantic calling of Pennywise, who was still inhabiting the pipes. His voice came out loud and echoing. "What is that god awful racket?"

Just then the second chorus of San Fransisco(Be Sure to Wear Flower in Your Hair)began to play.Ghostface sat upright and said, "Okay...we just all need to chill out...I'm sure that if we pray about it God will help us find it."

Michael looked agitated, the fake hair of his Halloween mask mussed and his eyes furious. God? All I want 'God' to do is help me sleep!

Ghostface glared at him. "Hey man...God is one awesome dude-"

Jason unsheathed his machete. You've got three seconds.

Freddy ignored Jason's words and angrily thrust his clawed hand into Ghostface's abdomen. "Make that one second, bitch!"

Ghostface gasped and reached under his mask as the taste of blood coated his lips. "Shit son...that ain't groovy man..."

Michael rolled his eyes and laid back down on his half of the couch. Who even says 'groovy' anymore?

"He's stoned Myers. There's a reason they call it dope ya know." Freddy said as he wiped his bloody claws on his Christmas sweater. Michael let out a loud noise, almost like a gasp and looked around wildly. Jason turned to him.

What's wrong?

Michael's eyes were wide and frantic. I lost the doll...what was his name again?

"It was something like Charlie or Bruce or Johnnie or something, right?" Freddy said as he stretched back on the couch. "But either way it's no big deal. You can go looking for him tomorrow or something. You can take fuck face with you when he isn't so stoned."

Somewhere on the floor Ghostface stifled a laugh and started to sing the ring tone of his phone softly. "If you're going to San Fransisco-"

Jason threw a ball of paper at him and Ghostface read it loudly. "U R GONNA DIE IF U SAY 1 MORE WURD...you gots really bad spelling-"

Jason jammed his machete in Ghostface's chest, right through his heart then pulled it out again and rolled over on the floor and tried to get to sleep.

It really was ashame that some serial killers really just couldn't die.

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The next morning pretty much everyone was tired. It was hard to get to sleep after the phone incident mostly because they had never found the phone to begin with, just tried to ignore it. But whenever hippie music is ceaselessly playing, it can be nearly impossible to sleep or even think for that matter.

Ghostface stumbled over to the kitchen table and fell into one of the wooden chairs. "I-I think that I have to puke..."

Freddy smiled as he sipped on his coffee. "What's wrong, fuck face? Didn't smoke more than you could handle last night, did you?"

"No such thing. I'm sure that being repeatedly stabbed didn't help anything either-"

The cell phone began to ring again and they all groaned and laid their heads on the table. Michael actually went so far as to cover his ears. And of course it has to be one of the stupidest hippie songs of all time.

Ghostface scoffed. "They had good songs-"

Yeah, Jason wrote, like that one from Hendrix and maybe those two from Joplin. After that it was all crap.

From the sink Pennywise called again, this time sounding just plain desperate. "Please make that racket stop! In the pipes it echoes!"

Michael: And the worst part is that I didn't find the stupid doll. Quite frankly it's sort of a relief...he was starting to creep me out.

Freddy rolled his eyes and said over the insistent ring tone, "I knew you wouldn't be able to keep it for more than two days. You parents must have spoiled you hardcore, Myers...I mean if you're willing to give up something in perfectly good shape just like that."

Jason gawked at him. Myers? Spoiled? Wise up, Kruger. That doll wasn't good news. If you didn't see that you're an idiot. In my opinion Myers just saved us about a week's worth of grief by losing that-

From over in the nearby living room area, there came a clatter. Ghostface jumped up. "My phone? My beautiful sexy phone?" and he hurried over to the couch.

Freddy, Jason and Michael all rolled their eyes, thinking that it was nothing important but Ghostface suddenly let out a yell and fell to the ground with a thud. Then they all exchanged glances.

Michael nudged Jason in the ribs. Go check it out, Voorhees.

Jason shook his head. Why me? And Kruger don't you dare say-

"Because you're the biggest and strongest and out of the three of us you've had the most coffee."

What does that have to do with

Michael glared at him and finished his fourth cup of coffee. Just do it.

Jason sighed and got up. Michael and Freddy watched him with nervous eyes as he climbed over the couch and brought out his machete. Holding it above his head he moved around a few pillows and rolled his eyes. Ghostface was lying face down. Jason helped him up and the others frowned at the lack of suspense.

Beneath Ghostface there lied Michael's doll. "Hi," it said in that voice, "I'm Chuckie. Wanna play?"

Jason rolled his eyes. What's wrong with you, fuck face?

Ghostface opened his mouth to speak but only a wheezing sound came out. Freddy got up out of his seat and went over to him. "Hold on a sec..." and lifted up Ghostface's mask so that it revealed his throat.

I huge lump was in his throat and opened his mouth; the ring tone sounded out throughout the apartment. Michael groaned and motioned for him to close his mouth. I've had just about all of that shit that I can handle.

Jason stared at Ghostface with wide eyes and held up a note; Ghostface what the hell happened?

He could only point to the doll and make horrid wheezing noises. Freddy shook his head, picked up the doll and threw it at Michael. The doll hit the cup of coffee that Michael had been drinking spilled it all over his lap. Michael let out a stifled scream and raced into the bathroom as the scalding coffee began burning his shin.

Freddy smiled and then went back to the table. "Hmm...Myers is gonna have to clean this up when he gets back...but as for you, fuck face. Seems like you just got reverted into a silent killer unless you can manage to chuck that phone back up. And blaming the doll? Seriously? Jeez fuck face...that's low."

Jason on the other hand wasn't so convinced that what Ghostface had said had been a lie. He glanced mysteriously at the doll but decided that he would deal with it when the time came...and the time would most definitely come.

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Later that night when they were all eating pizza Freddy chuckled as he watched Ghostface just sit there and stare longingly at the slices. "What's wrong fuck face? Cat got your tongue."

Ghostface, who had taken to writing notes like the other two non-talking killers threw a note at Freddy; No actually it's a phone, dip shit.

Freddy shrugged. "At least I can eat my pizza. I can't imagine what it would be like not be able to talk much less-"

The doll interrupted him once again. It had been just speaking randomly for the whole afternoon. "Hi. I'm Chuckie. Wanna play?"

Freddy angrily pounded his fists against the table, toppling over drinks. He pointed one of his clawed fingers at Michael. "Bitch I fucking swear...if you don't get that thing fixed or some-"

"Hi. I'm Chuckie. Wanna play?"

Michael put both of hands in the air. It's not my fault.

Jason stared at the doll oddly. Then who's fault is it?

The doll's head spun around in a full 360 and the look on his painted-on face became one of pure evil. "Wanna play?"

Ghostface suddenly perked up and tried very hard to speak, but no sound would come out. Looking around desperately he scribbled quickly onto a napkin, I know where the doll's from! I know...I know...I know!

"What is it?" Freddy asked, scooting his chair away from the table and readying himself to cut the doll in half. Ghostface slid a note into his clawed hand; Child's Play. The look on Freddy's face became one of pure fear and terror. "Oh shit...Myers get rid of that thing!"

Michael shrugged and clutched the doll to his chest, his eyes pleading. He said that if I do that he'd kill me...I told you that he was starting to creep me out-

Jason: We didn't think that you meant that he was going to kill you, you idiot!

Freddy stepped back from the table as the doll took on new life of its own, getting up on its feet and picking up Michael's knife. "Myers after this you are so evicted!"

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All four of the slashers quickly made it out of the apartment and left Chuckie in there to do his worst. Ghostface pounded the wall and grasped his throat. Jason looked alarmed.

I think that he's gonna-

Surely enough the phone came up again and Ghostface fell onto his knees, grasping his throat and taking huge, gasping breaths. "Oh...God that was horrible!"

Freddy angrily wheeled round and kicked him in the ribs. "You dumb fuck! Were you just unconscious for the past few minutes?! Michael's dumb ass doll just-"

Michael rounded on him and angrily threw a piece of paper at his face; It wasn't ever my doll!

"Oh yeah! Sure, Myers. You just hauled around for a day because it told you to...oh wait. That didn't come out right...damn..."

Jason sighed and sat down in the hallway. This is so fucking stupid. Why don't we just in and kick his ass?

Ghostface scoffed. "Oh yeah, Voorhees. That's a spectacular idea! Simply stupendous! Have you even ever seen Child's Play? Chuckie is a bad ass man!"

Freddy held up his hands, motioning for silence-or at least for everyone to stop scribbling notes, yelling and stabbing each other-and began to pace back and forth. "Okay. Now that we've established the fact that fuck face is scared of a doll, I think that we should-"

"Hey man. If you wanna take blows at me-"

Michael stifled a laugh then shoved a note at Ghostface. No one wants to blow you.

Jason smiled and Freddy rolled his eyes. "If we are all finished?" the other three nodded, somewhat embarrassed. "Okay...now what we need to do is this-"

Jason couldn't help but interrupt. Umm...excuse me?

"What is is, you retarded hockey puck?"

Why don't you go in and show Chuckie just how much of a bad ass you are, Kruger? I mean if you're so confident that he's nothing important... He stopped writing right there, knowing that now that he had planted the idea in everyone's heads they would jump on it. And they did.

Yeah, Michael wrote, why don't you go show him how tough you are?

Ghostface laughed. "I'd like to see him try. If that doll scared Myers shitless, then imagine what it would do to poor little child molesting Frederick Kruger!"

Freddy didn't so much mind their doubt in him, but when Ghostface said those three words-child-molesting-Frederick, he just got plain pissed. "Fine! Fine!" he yelled, "I'll fucking do it, motherfuckers! God...if you're all just to much of a pussy to do it then fine! I'll do it...I'll go kill Chuckie..." his voice trailed off and he stood there for another second, staring at the door to number 1331Wimbleton Apartment. Jason stepped directly behind him and pressed a paper in his clawed hand.

What are you waiting for, Frederick?

"Nothing Jason! That really doesn't work the same way, does it?"

Jason shook his head and with a look of pleasure gleaming in his eyes, he kicked open the door, pushed Freddy inside and then gripped the knob so that he couldn't get out again.

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As the door closed and Freddy realized what had happened he gasped. But there was no way out now. Taking a deep breath he walked right up to the kitchen table where Chuckie was sitting, staring at him as if he were already dead.

"Uh...hi. Um...me and my friends-well they're not really my friends, I actually hate them-where wondering if you could please just get out-"

Chuckie laughed coldly. "Get out? Please, this is the sweetest gig I've had in years...no wife, no children, no worries. Now wise up and get your sorry ass out of my apartment before I make you."

Freddy nodded as if this were the answer to everything and turned to leave. And he might have made it to the door if his ego hadn't gotten the better of him; instead he whirled around and gave the doll a death stare. "What did you say to me, bitch?"

Chuckie smiled wickedly and pulled out the knife that he had stolen from Michael. "I said that you and your little queer ass friends can suck it!"

"That's not right!" Freddy growled as he took a step nearer Chuckie and clinked his metal fingers together, "It's not their fault that they're gay..."

"I should have shoved that phone down your throat instead of Ghostface's-do you ever stop talking?" the doll asked as he readied himself for a fight. Freddy shrugged.

"Not that I can remember. Anyways...why did I come here again?"

Chuckie smiled evilly and brandished his knife. Then, before poor Freddy could get an answer to his question, stabbed him in the chest...

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On the outside of the apartment Ghostface, Jason and Michael all listened through the door. Ghostface swallowed and chuckled nervously. "So...I think that he's doing fine-" Freddy's scream echoed throughout the hallway. Jason and Michael winced as they heard his cries.

Michael: If Kruger can't beat that doll then who's going in to drag his dead corpse out of there?

Jason shrugged. I'm not getting into that sort of stuff again. I learned my lesson last week.

Suddenly from the other side of the door there came a scratching noise and Freddy howled, "Let me out! Please! Have a heart man! Ah...shit!"

They all exchanged glances. "Should I?"

Jason shook his head and scribbled, Don't you dare. That motherfucker has got to learn a lesson-

Michael looked regretful. What lesson? If anyone's in the wrong, it's me! I kept the stupid doll-

Ghostface flung the door open, pushed Michael inside and then shut it again. "And you're gonna be the one to get rid of it!"

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The room was empty, no one in sight. Michael rolled his eyes and got to his feet. He knew well enough that Ghostface wouldn't let him out any time soon. Slowly he began to make his way into the living room area and he heard someone stile a scream. Turning his head, Michael felt something hard hit his head, making him black out for a second and fall onto the unforgiving tiled kitchen floor.

Chuckie's evil laughter rang in his ears as he tried to regain his senses but he felt the cooking pan his his skull again and this time he didn't get up, just grasped at the cool tiles miserably.

Freddy just watched as Myers got the shit beat out of him by Chuckie. Then he got an idea...carefully and silently he ripped the knife that was protruding from his chest-Michael's knife-and put it up high on a place that Chuckie couldn't reach then crept up behind the doll.

Chuckie gasped as Freddy's claws ripped their way through his plastic torso. Dropping the pan to the ground he staggered back. Freddy laughed triumphantly and went over to the balcony door to dispose of the doll. In a few seconds, once the screaming had subsided, Ghostface and Jason were back in the room. Ghostface stepped out onto the balcony to watch Freddy chuck the doll off the edge as Jason helped Michael to his feet.

"So..." Ghostface said as he and Freddy watched the doll plummet into the alley below. "That's some pretty whacked shit, huh?"

Freddy sighed and nodded. "Yeah. But it's over now. Hey, fuck face?"

"Yep?"

"Remind me to kick Myers out of the apartment later. Maybe if one of us got evicted, then all of this might stop."

Ghostface just chuckled softly and Freddy turned to him. "What's so funny?"

He shrugged. "Oh nothing. It just seems like we're getting a taste of our own medicine now, aren't we?"

Freddy took off his hat for a second and scratched his bald head. "Well you can stick that medicine up your ass, fuck face. This ain't got nothing to do with all that. Jeez...what an oddling you are, Ghostface." and he turned and went back into the apartment.