Chapter 5

When the starters had arrived, both Grit and Sami found themselves chomping right through the delicate food. During the short eating period, they noticed how they both finished their food quickly. Taking down the last of the three bites that made up his meal, Grit dreamt of the steakhouse they could have been at and prayed that the upcoming steak was going to actually be the proper size.

"That didn't last long" Sami commented as Grit swallowed the last of his starter. She spoke in a slightly cheeky voice; Grit felt impulse to parry back.

"You can talk, missy" Grit replied, noticing the speed at which Sami had also finished her starter. A small smile crept up on Sami's lips before she continued talking.

"So, how are things in Blue Moon?" Sami asked. Grit was busy wiping his mouth with a napkin when the question was asked.

"Nothin' much happening" he replied. "Things have gone pretty quiet since the war" A small smile broke out on his face as he remembered the solitude of home. "I like it that way, y'know?"

"I kinda miss the war, in a way" Sami revealed.

"Whoa…" Grit hummed. "You mean to say you miss all the fighting and stuff?"

Sami's eyes opened in surprise, realizing that she had been misunderstood. She quickly shook her head.

"Oh, no, no!" she replied quickly. "No, not like that! I'm glad the fighting is done. What I mean is…well, everybody was so close together when we were fighting Black Hole. Now, it's just back to the day job of training the troops and leading sorties. I kinda wish we could all meet up and have that same feeling of excitement, you know what I mean?" Sami asked. Grit nodded in response, sipping at his second bottle of Desperados.

"Yep, I know the feeling" he mumbled. "Maybe the fights themselves weren't too pretty to get through, but seeing all the guys again was good fun. The late night victory parties…suppose that's why we're here anyhow"

"Yeah, you're right" Sami replied. "There isn't really much happening in Orange Star. I've only been in one battle since the war ended, and that was just sorting out Black Hole stragglers"

"I can tell you ain't one for peace and quiet" Grit noted. Sami cocked her head slightly; Grit watched as her hair fell slightly. It radiated somewhat in the low light of the restaurant; Grit suddenly clocked that there was a candle on the table that did nothing to enhance the light. He also noticed the pictures of landscapes and horizons that were hung in portraits on the wall.

"Go on…" Sami coaxed. Grit snapped out of his analytical trance, confused.

"What?" he asked.

"You were saying that I wasn't 'one for peace and quiet' or something" she explained. "Care to explain?" She acted playfully around him as she mentioned it; Grit was on edge. Why was she being so forward with him? He knew she was usually quite a forward person, but was she put off at all by the context of their meeting?

"Uh…" Grit stammered. "Ah, I dunno" he flapped his hands lightly as if to dismiss the question. "I was just runnin' my mouth, as usual"

The waiter appeared and took away their plates. Grit was closing in towards the end of his second bottle and could start to feel the alcohol taking effect. But it didn't calm him down, as he had desired. He felt the same as he did when he first walked in, except with a looser sense of gravity.

Sami seemed to fall quiet and for a good minute, the two were just sat at the table, shuffling about in their chairs, sipping away at their drinks and looking about them. Nothing was coming to Grit's mind and he was struggling to make conversation. Seeing the date slowly plunging down the toilet, he felt nervous pressure on his chest. He knew before long, he would start sweating and things would get worse. Closing his eyes, he did what he did worst: thought fast.

"I…I gotta go to the men's room" he said finally, catching Sami's attention. Standing up and straightening his cheap suit, he started to walk. "Won't be a minute, darlin'"

Grit briskly walked towards the toilet, making his way to cubicle. As he did, he locked the door, listened carefully to hear if anyone else was in, and upon discovering that he was alone, sat down on the toilet and sighed. Rubbing his hands across his face, he allowed his vision to blur as he delved deep into his thoughts.

"This ain't goin' well" he thought to himself, closing his eyes. He could feel his heart pumping heavily from the nerves of the date. "I ain't used to this kinda thing. Sami's a lovely girl and all that, she's darn pretty too. She also got a lot to say. She's really tryin' so why can't I get myself together? Why am I sweatin' so much?"

He felt his hands were clammy and rubbed them against his trousers. His thoughts were running wild in his head, one negative thought directly leading to another like a chain reaction. Everything started to feel bad.

"I dunno whether I should just call this thing off" he continued. "She'll understand if I ain't feelin' too well. I'm just not ready to be doing this kinda thing yet. I need…I need a little more time, that's all. I'll be back on this dating thing, just after a little while. Right, better go tell her the bad news. Ah, I hope she don't go cryin' now…"

Grit looked up at himself in the mirror and studied his face carefully. Thoughts upon thoughts waved through his mind like a relentless sea. Thoughts about Sami, about cancelling the date, about himself. Had he done something wrong? Did Sami like him? Did he like Sami? He couldn't understand why, but the simplest thing seemed to trigger a cascade of bad, negative thoughts in his mind. A few minutes ago he was okay, but suddenly, he felt as if he was in Hell.

He washed his face in the cubicle basin and looked back up at himself in the mirror, studying his face with intensity. He noticed the bags under his eyes, the few grey hairs that dotted his head, the unruliness of his goatee. He looked horrible, he thought.

"Damn it all…" he thought feverently. His chest began to feel a little tight as he winced in pain. "Please don't tell me it's happening again…"

Without another second, he quickly dried his face and walked out of the toilets.

As Grit walked back in and sat down in his chair, he saw that the food had just been delivered. His steak was small, discomforting, and served with a fancy looking salad that didn't really appeal to Grit's eye. He felt guilty to have to put an end to the date so early, but he could see the signs of a bad night right off the bat. A list of things filed up in Grit's head that were his signs: weird conversation, weird restaurant, weird food, and weird feelings. Everything was just weird, and it unnerved Grit to no extent.

As Sami looked up to him, he took a deep breath, ready to deliver the news that he wanted out. He knew it was selfish, but Grit just didn't feel comfortable. And he knew that if it wasn't comfortable, then it wasn't really worth doing.

"…Grit, are you okay?" Sami asked suddenly before Grit could get the chance to speak.

"Huh?" Grit hummed as he saw the look of concern in Sami's eyes.

"I asked if you were okay" Sami repeated. "I've noticed something in the thirty five minutes or so we've been sat here. You're not yourself"

Uh oh, he thought. Was his anxiety showing that badly? "Er…what do you mean?" he asked, trying to bat the question away. It was a futile attempt, and the two knew it.

"Well…" Sami murmured uncomfortably. She shifted a little in her seat, choosing her words carefully. "You're usually so calm about everything, but here, I see that you're shifting about a lot; there's a quiver in your voice…you just don't look very happy" she said. She'd hit it on the head, he thought. Time to come clean. Thinking about how to put his words, Grit began his explanation with an elongated sigh.

"Sami, it's not you…" Grit started, taking a bite of his steak. It was good steak. Too good. The imperfections, like the chewy fat or the slightly tough bits, were not there. To Grit, it lacked character, and so did the starter. Swallowing, he continued. "It's…it's a mix of things. First of all, I ain't been on a date in so long; I hope you understand that it's not easy for me sittin' here. It's like putting a sprinter in the shot putt circle, or puttin' Max in a rocket truck, you know what I'm talking about?"

"I understand, Grit" Sami said quietly. Grit was surprised that she hadn't broken down or started to sulk or anything. On the contrary, she was listening intently to him. He continued.

"And this place…" he gestured, waving his hands around as if he were pointing in no particular direction. "Why's everything got to be so fancy? Why's the portions so small, why are there pictures of fields on the wall, why do we have some small candle on our table? I just don't get it"

"You're saying this place unnerves you?" Sami asked. Grit looked around himself again, trying to take in everything.

"Just because you're the biggest…it don't mean you're the best" Grit said. "I've always been a firm believer of that sayin'. It's ringing so true here; just cause you got gold on the walls doesn't mean the place is foolin' me. I mean, this steak…" he explained, gesturing to his food. "Where's the wedges or the big salad, or the ranch dressing you can get with it? I mean, here it's just a steak and a bunch of whatever, just mumbo jumbo" He gave an exasperated wave to his plate, illustrating his point. Sami identified the 'mumbo jumbo' as ratatouille, but she let the point slide. "That starter too, it took me three bites, sure it was nice tastin', but I like my meals to be…you know, meals!" Grit started to chuckle in exasperation as he explained his distaste for the restaurant. Sami started to chuckle a little as well. Grit felt a sense of release in letting it all out, and seeing Sami chuckle finally made him feel a little more comfortable for the first time all night.

"I get what you mean" Sami spoke. "…In all honesty, I'm feeling the same way. Okay, maybe I can understand the décor and the size of the portions, but this place has no true character. I'd rather a pub lunch; now they're delicious at the right time"

"I think you hit it right there" Grit interrupted.

"Hm?" Sami hummed.

"It's the timing" Grit said. "Maybe if we were celebratin' something big, then it would make sense to come here. But this is a date, why did Nell think to send us here?"

"It must be her way of life" Sami guessed. "…So, do you want to call it a night after this?" she asked. Grit felt a twinge in his chest; his eyes closed without his knowledge for a second, almost as if he had taken a hit to the heart. He'd contemplated ending the night, but now he felt a little more comfortable. Perhaps he could make it through and even enjoy himself. His cascading thoughts had slowed and Grit felt more control of his mind, and ultimately, more positive about things.

"Ah, I can't say that" he crooned sorrowfully. "I mean, you came all this way, and you took all that time to make yourself look pretty and such…"

"Thanks" Sami thanked quietly upon hearing the compliment. Grit saw her eyes looking at him again, the nerves started to build up once more. Putting them aside as best as he could, he cleared his throat. "I'm just thinkin'…I dunno"

Grit was at a crossroads. Nerves returning, he was now stuck with his two decisions. Call it a night, or rough it out in the posh restaurant? He was struggling to make up his mind, until a brainwave hit him. Even Sami could envision the light bulb turning on above Grit's head as his face brightened.

"…I remember you said you like drinkin' at bars, right?" Grit asked. Once again, Sami's eyes opened slightly with surprise, before they shut a little. She leant slightly over the table.

"Yeah, I do" she answered. Grit let out a small smile, now this was better, he thought.

"I know a nice, quiet bar a couple of blocks down the road" he explained. "Let's say we skedaddle out of here and have us a proper time, what do you say?" he offered.

"Let's go" Sami said with a hushed excitement. The fancy sojourn quickly came to its conclusion then and there. They quickly finished the rest of their food and hastily called a waiter to bring the bill. They paid haphazardly, probably leaving a massive tip behind on accident. But it didn't matter. Grit and Sami were going somewhere to have a real date.

And as they walked out of the restaurant, Grit cast a thought back to a few minutes ago when he was in the toilet, sinking into despair. It had been a while since he had felt like that, and worried that an old problem was rising again. But hopefully, now that things were set to pick up, he could put the episode behind him and continue strongly. Smiling to himself, Grit told himself what he would tell everybody else in life:

"It's all gonna be okay…"